


Human and Irken UNITE!

by blueflower1594 (FanFicDotNetTransfers)



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-15
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 130,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25811515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicDotNetTransfers/pseuds/blueflower1594
Summary: In desperate need of a partner, Zim asks Gaz to help him conquer Earth. That's how it began. It started out as a partnership...and it ended in something neither were prepared for. The ultimate ZAGR fic! This is gonna be good, trust me.
Relationships: Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), GIR & Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz & GIR (Invader Zim), Gaz/Zim (Invader Zim)
Kudos: 10





	1. Desperate Need of a Partner!

**Author's Note:**

> Original story at https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6239413/1/Human-and-Irken-UNITE

It started at skool, like most exciting adventures do. A place where in most movies you discover you have super powers, or meet someone who does. Or a vampire. But magic was NOT what was going through our favorite invader's mind.

Zim stared blankly at the kids swinging on the monkey bars, urging them in his mind to fall off and go crying to their mother units. He enjoyed seeing human weakness. It was like a personal hobby for him.

"That's right…" he whispered to himself as he saw a fat, blonde boy reach the top of the bars. There was NO WAY that stupid human couldn't tip over. "Go higher stinky boy….just a little higher…..and then fall down until you burst the like the giant balloon that YOU ARE!"

Oops. He hadn't meant to scream that last part. Everyone now stared at the creepy kid before them. Zim looked around at his fellow classmates. "What? Can't a normal worm-baby watch another less-then-amazing worm- baby pop IN PEACE?"

Everyone shook their heads and resumed their mindless games. All but one very annoying, creepy, obsessive, compulsive, big-headed boy.

"Humans don't pop Zim," Dib, Zim's archenemy, pointed out. "We have organs, and-and lungs and…we don't pop! We're not balloons, you know!"

Zim smirked and looked back at the fat kid. "Could've fooled me!"

Dib shook his head. "If you were _really_ human, you'd know that! Which is even _more_ undeniable proof you are nothing but s slimy, ugly ALIEN!"

"LIES!" Zim screamed. "Never ONCE in my life have I EVER been slimy…..AND THE ALIEN PART IS A LIE TOO!"

Dib walked up to Zim and frowned, deeply. "You know, one day someone besides myself is going to see the monster you really are!"

Zim gave Dib a smug grin. "I wouldn't be so sure Dib-stink. I've been here for four years now, and NO ONE has suspected a thing. And why do you think that is?"

Dib held up a hand to stop him. "O.K, I admit my species has been a little…scatter brained about this, BUT ONE DAY," here he leaned in close to Zim, "they will have you strapped down to a dissecting table, ready to perform cruel and unusual experiments on you!"

Zim glared hard at the boy he hated so much, until an obnoxious kid shout, "Hey look! Zima and Dib are gonna kiss!"

"What?" they both shouted in unison, quickly pulling away. They both scowled as the kids began pointing and laughing at the pair.

"That's disgusting!' Dib shouted. "For all of your information, I can do way better than him!"

"Same here!" Zim shouted. "I wouldn't do that even if I knew what a kiss was!"

"Seeeeeeeee!" Dib screeched as he pointed a shaking finger at the green boy. "He just admitted he doesn't know what a kiss is!" He spread his arms out to his fellow classmates. "What do you think that _means_?"

Everyone was silent. "Uh…" one kid started to say.

"NO! Not that! It means he's an alien! What human doesn't know what a kiss is?" He jumped one a boy's chest and began pulling his shirt. "I'll TELL you who! _Him!"_ He pointed another shaking finger at the green boy. "Which makes him an alien!"

"Just because he's never kissed anyone, doesn't make him an alien, Dib!" someone shouted.

"You're such a jerk!" another human screamed.

'And a nerd!"

"And you're crazy!"

"And you have a big head!" Zim added that last part. " Nerdy, crazy, big headed jerk!" he shouted, causing all the kids to cheer at his clever combining of words.

"Oh yeah, I-" Dib didn't finish his sentence as he felt warm breath stream down on him. He looked up to see the face of the man who's shirt he was still holding.

It was Gor. The biggest 8th grader in the skool. He was also the dumbest. Reaaaaaaaalllyy bad combo. You know where that always leads. That's right. School bully.

"Fat head and green kid annoy Gor!" he thundered in his monstrous voice. "Gor punish!" He grabbed Dib by his hair.

"Hey uh, Gor?" Dib pleaded. "Can't we discuss this like civilized people?"

Gor held his head in pain. "NO USE WORDS GOR NO UNDERSTAND!" Still holding Dib by his hair, he marched over to Zim and grabbed him by his leg. "Gor punish annoying twerps!"

"ZIM IS NOT A TWERP!" Zim shouted, as he and Dib were carried off. "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! RELEASE ZIM! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED GREATLY FOR- okay all my blood is rushing into my brain now."

* * *

"This is all your fault!" Dib snarled as he tried to move his arm.

"We are now both trapped in one of your disgusting human disposals, I fail to see how it is _my_ fault!"

"….It's called a trash can, Zim."

"….LIAR!"

Dib struggled to move, but knowing they were shoved head first into a trash can, that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

"Err, Zim get your hand out of my ear!" Dib wailed.

"I will as soon as you get your nose out of my wig!" he snarled.

Dib sighed. "Well, can you do us both a favor and get your eye out of my arm pit?"

"….That's not my eye."

"Oh great!" Dib cried.

"If you hadn't teased me about my lack of knowledge on human organs, we would not be in this mess!" Zim growled.

"Please, if you hadn't come to my planet in the fist place, my life would be so much easier!" Dib snapped as he tried to break his arm free.

"Oh, like _I'm_ the only reason you get thrown into human disposals?"

"It's a trash can!"

"ENOUGH OF YOUR LIES!"

Not being able to stand one another for another second, the two boys frantically tried to make their way out of the human disposal. So when it tipped over and they saw sunlight beneath them, it was like Heaven reaching out from underneath them.

They quickly squirmed out the human disposal, gasping for air. "SWEET, BEAUTIFUL FREEDOM!" Dib cried out into the sky. He turned his head to face his rescuer. "Thanks Gaz. You came just in time."

Zim turned his head to see his arch-enemy's little sister. Well, she was only a few months younger, which made both the Membrane's fourteen, although Dib would be turning fifteen soon. She had her usual scowl across her face.

"I only tipped the can because I was looking for garbage. Looks like I found it," she muttered.

Dib and Zim stood up in unison. "It's a good thing you came Gaz. I was about to kick Zim's intergalactic butt!"

"In the trash can?" Gaz asked, not caring for the answer.

"Foolish human! Zim would have annihilated you had we been in battle! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE GREAT ZIM! YOUR HEAD WOULD POP FROM MY SHEER AWESOMENESS!"

"Humans don't pop!" Dib repeated, pulling something out of his coat pocket. It was a water gun. "I thought I was going to need this today," he said, in an ominous voice. But then he pulled out a smelly peanut butter and jelly sandwich from his pocket. "Although I also thought I was going to need this sandwich, and all that did was make a mess."

"Give me the sandwich," Gaz said as she took it from her brother. It was smelly, molding, and crushed. "I'll eat it for lunch tomorrow, so I don't need to eat the cafeteria food."

Zim stared nervously at the water gun. "I…I'll have you know, I got over my allergies to Earth water. I AM CURED!"

Dib wasn't buying it. "So…nothing will happen if I do this?" He took aim and sprayed the water all over his nemesis.

"AAAAAGGGHHH!" Zim screamed in pain, proving he was not over his allergy. "IM BUUUUURRRNING! I'M BUUUURNING! WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A WORLD!"

"A-HA! You're still the pathetic Zim I know and hate! It's been four years and you STILL haven't managed to pull anything off. And you never will! Not as long as the INCREDIBLE DIB is here!"

"Bumpedubum," Gaz mumbled sarcastically.

Dib sighed, getting tired of watching Zim shriek his head off. "C'mon Gaz, let's get home," he smiled.

"I'll be there in a sec Dib. There's a kid I have to go doom."

Hearing this at least once every day, Dib made his way home, knowing she'll be home before moonlight.

However, Gaz didn't leave that spot. She just kept staring at Zim shriveling on the ground. Her brother had hit him hard with that stuff. The girl sighed. She had mixed feelings about the alien boy.

On one hand, she was annoyed by him. He always went on about how cool he was, when he couldn't even get _one_ of his plans to work. He was wasting precious technology on idiotic plans. Not to mention the ones that effected _her,_ such as using her as an umbrella, or kidnapping her brother so she couldn't go to Bloaty's Pizza Hog. He was an idiot in her eyes.

On the other hand, she respected him. At least Dib finally left her alone and decided to go bug someone else with his crazy rants. She also knew he was trying to take over her race, and she respected that. Hey, her race _needed_ to be conquered. They were all a bunch of idiots. If only Zim wasn't so bad at take overs…

"Hold still," she said at last, pulling out a towel from thin air. She wrapped the green boy in the soft, yellow towel and began to dry him off. If anyone had been watching, they would look like a mother drying her baby off after he got out of the bathtub.

"Quit squirming!" Gaz frowned, wondering why she was helping him in the first place. Probably because she hated seeing someone she half-respected in such a pitiful state.

Once she had finished, she helped the green boy to his feet and looked him over. "There. That should do it."

Zim examined his now dry body, then looked up at Gaz. He never really took notice of her, unless he had to. I which cases, he always just considered her the sister of his enemy…however, he _secretly_ did appreciate the fact she wasn't as stupid as the rest of he race. Now, why had she just helped him?

"Well done Gaz-human. I suppose a 'thank you' is in order," Zim said.

"Nah, don't worry about it. Just don't expect me to help you again in the future," she warned.

"And why did you help me _this_ time, Dib-sister?" Zim wanted to know.

"Because I'm madly in love with you," she answered, simply.

Zim's eye twitched. "W-Whaaaa…?"

"I was joking, you creep," Gaz glared. With that being sneered, Gaz made her way home, leaving Zim with a puzzled look on his face.

* * *

"Did you get the kid?' Dib asked, as he unlocked the door to their house.

"When _don't_ I?' Gaz muttered as she walked inside.

Neither of them said anything as they entered the Membrane household. "Dad!" Dib called out.

"In the kitchen son!" They heard their father call.

The two Membrane children quickly headed to the kitchen, eager to see their father after three months. "Dad, wait'll you hear-" His voice faltered as he saw what was in front of him.

His Dad's communicator screen.

"Hi kids, how was your day?" he said, cheerfully.

"Dad!" Gaz growled. "You were supposed to come _home_ today!"

"I _am_ here, Gazlene," he assured.

"I meant _in person",_ she said, stressing her words.

Pofessor Membrane sighed. "Honey, every time I say I'm coming home, you _know_ I mean by communicator!"

Gaz clenched her fists. "So _when,_ may I ask, do you plan on coming home FOR REAL?"

"Um…" her father muttered as he pulled out a calender. "Let's see…how does….May, 2015 sound?'

"Are you kidding me?' Gaz screamed. 'Aren't you going to say something, Dib?"

Dib silently looked at his sister. "Well ..I mean…he-he's busy…"

"Gr, you're just as bad as he is!" Gaz cried out. "I HATE THIS FAMILY!" she screamed as she ran up the stairs to her room.

Dib and Membrane watched in silence. "Jeez, usually your child must become fourteen for you to suffer this kind of abuse."

"We _are_ fourteen, Dad," Dib frowned.

"…Really? You're not six?'

* * *

**SLAM!**

Gaz furiously slammed her door in hurt and anger. "Stupid Dib…stupid Da-" She didn't finish her sentence as she felt her eyes sting.

 _No! No, no, no, NO! Don't cry! Don't cry! You're stronger than that!"_ She shuffled through her back pack, knowing there was only _one_ thing that made her forget all her troubles: Her Gameslave.

She gave a collected sigh of relief once she held her precious game in her hands. Her life sucked. Her brother was a coward, her father didn't care for her, and her mother…but that's why she had her Gameslave wasn't it? To escape in her own little world, where all she had to worry about was how to get to level ten without using any of her lives.

Muttering to herself, she flipped her Gameslave on and….

…her batteries went dead.

"NNNOOOOOOOOO!" She wailed into the night. Screaming in rage, Gaz threw herself on her bed, crying her eyes out. She didn't have anything to distract her from her *shudders* _feelings_ , now she had to deal with them. She angrily pounded her pillow, hating herself for letting tears spill from her eyes. It was a sign of weakness. And Gaz Membrane was _not_ weak.

Finally tired from her tantrum, she turned her gaze to her nightstand. A picture of her mom smiling was there. She had long purple hair in a ponytail with shiny, amber eyes. Many people said Gaz would grow up to look just like her.

Gaz took the picture and gazed at her lost mother. The one person who _encouraged_ her to be different, not shoot her down like her brother or father. When her mother left…it shattered Gaz emotionally and mentally. She had become a different girl that day. Her father had told her it was humanity, that things like that happened. She had then decided she wanted nothing to with humanity. _She HATED it._

Wiping tears of loneliness from her eyes, the girl turned her gaze out the window….and gasped. "Wow!" she breathed.

The sky was full of stars. Something she hadn't seen since her mother's death. Opening her window, she grabbed her binoculars and sighed. This was _beautiful._

She would die before she told _anyone_ but, unlike her brother, she adored space. She loved dreaming about what could be out there and how many different kinds of aliens there were. She had been tempted many times to ask Zim about them, but that would mean talking to him, and who wanted that?

Man, how she wished she could get out there and see it all. Did they have pizza in space? If not, what the was their problem?

She gave a little gasp as she saw a shooting star. "Cool!" she cried. She wanted to rush downstairs and tell someone….but who would care? Her father would neglect it, and her brother would say it was nothing compared to an alien. _My mom would watch it with me…_ the lonely girl grumbled in her mind.

Since the day her only friend left her, the girl cared for only three things: Her Gameslave, Bloaty's Pizza Hog, and space.

"And I intend to keep it that way," she vowed.

* * *

"MASTAH! YOU CAME HOME!" GIR shouted with joy, but it was soon replaced by sobbing eyes. "I thought you was gonna leave forever!"

Zim frowned at the little robot. "GIR, how many times must we go through this? I need to go to skool 70% of my time each week. That doesn't mean I'm abandoning you!" The Irk let his computer remove his wig and contacts. "Trust me, when that day comes, you're going to the farthest animal shelter I can fly to! This I swear…"

GIR took no notice of this threat. "Sooooo how was mastah's DAAAAAAAAAYYY?" GIR cheered.

"Humuliating!" Zim announced. "Some over-sized hyooman threw me in a disposal unit! I will make sure that human pays dearly the next time I see him!"

"…Aw, how sweet!" Gir gushed.

Zim fiddled with one of his antennas. "But for now I don't have anything to report to my Tallests when they contact me."

"Oh dat? Dey already called!" GIR said, as he grabbed his piggy toy.

"WHAT? MY TALLESTS CALLED AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?" Zim screamed.

GIR shrugged. "I told them mastah was out playing with Dibby!"

Zim's eye twitched. "I will kill you after my meeting." With that, the invader made his way to the nearest 'human disposal', to enter his lab.

"…Want some watah?" GIR called to him.

"No GIR, I _most certainly_ do not want water!" Zim said before climbing in. "I must report to my Tallests as soon as possible! You _know_ how much respect they have for me!"

* * *

"Why won't this stupid voodoo doll work?" Purple, one of the Tallests, cried in frustration.

"I don't know!" Red, the other one, growled. "The box said make the doll look like your enemy and have fun!"

"It looks just like Zim! And I've jabbed this needle in him like, twenty times!" Purple cried.

"Well, try somewhere other than his back!" Red demanded.

"But.. hold on, we're getting a message….from Zim. Better get comfortable," Purple sighed.

"Why did we even agree to contact him today?' Red demanded to know, as he sat down in a bean bag chair.

"We wanted to see if our doll worked!" Purple cried as he pushed his 'open 'E-mail' button. Joining Red in a bean bag chair, they winced as they saw the annoying soldier on screen.

"Sorry I'm late my Tallests! I was at the skool trying to gain more Earthly information….did you know one of the human's leaders got stuck in a bathtub once?'

"Not important Zim!" Red waved his claw, as if dismissing the information. "Now…what have you accomplished today?"

Zim got nervous and gave a sharp cry. "Oh forgive me my Tallests…my back has been hurting a lot recently."

Purple gave Red a quick high five before saying, "Let me guess, you haven't discovered and/or conquered anything new today?"

Zim quickly waved his hands back and forth. "O-On the contrary my most feared rulers, I have discovered something, most brilliant! ALMOST AS BRILLIANT AS ME!"

"Oh, this ought to be good," Red smirked to Purple.

Zim rubbed his hands together. "O.K, wait for it….A WATER HANKIE!"

"Say what?" the Tallests said in unison.

"It is a blanket that can absorb the evil water that falls onto your skin! I have just witnessed it today! IT'S GENIUS! And with the right technology, I shall MAKE MYSELF A SUIT OF ARMOR MADE OUT OF WATER HANKIES!" Zim glowed.

The Tallests gave him a disapproving frown.

Zim was quiet. "…..What? You guys want one? They'll probably come in yellow, orange, blue…"

"Pathetic Zim," Red frowned.

"What?" Zim whispered, hopelessly.

"Is that _really_ the best you could come up with?" Purple frowned. "Did it ever occur to you that we don't even _have_ water on Irk?"

Zim scratched his neck. "Um…well…"

"Zim, may we be frank?" Red interrupted. "You haven't accomplished anything in four years! That's pretty sad."

"I suppose it's true that productions…have-have been slow…" Zim whispered.

"Zim, we're _starting_ to think you don't have what it takes to take over a planet," Red frowned.

Zim's antennas stood up straight. "What are you saying, my Lord?"

"I think we might need to strip you of your title as an invader," Red said, with mock sympathy.

"WHAT?" Zim screeched.

Purple leaned into Red. "I thought we already-ooof!" He winced as his partner punched him in his squeedly-spooch.

Zim looked crushed. "You're sending me back home?"

"NO!" Both Tallests cried in unison.

Red gave a nervous chuckle. "No…no. I'm afraid the only _real_ penalty for failing to conquer a planet…is death. Execution, to be more graphic."

Zim gasped in horror.

Purple once again leaned into Red. "Oh, now I get it. At first I was like 'where's he going with this', then you were like 'we're taking you off your mission', and I was like 'nuh-uh', then you were-"

"A PARTNER!"

The Tallests looked up at the screen. "What?" Red asked.

Zim looked like he was going to vomit. "L…Let me get some… _help._ Allow me to find a partner-in-crime and together we will conquer this PUNY PLANET! Hey, two masterminds are better than one, right?'

Red and Purple exchanged a look. "So…you want to find someone willing to work along side you, and help you rule Earth?" Purple asked.

"Yes, and I swear WE WILL BE THE GREATEST TEAM ANY WORLD HAS EVER FEARED!" Zim screamed.

Red held back a laugh. "Zim's trying to find someone who is _willing_ to work with him? This I've got to see!"

"Huh?" Purple questioned.

Red waved a claw. 'Just watch." He turned his head to face the small Irk. "All right Zim, here's the deal. Because we're _so generous,_ we'll give you a week to find a good partner, once the week is up, we expect you to bring him here through jet stream. BUT if you cannot find a good, clever, hard working partner by the end of the week, I'm afraid it's the execution for you…..ripping you PAK to pieces, to be exact….not trying to be mean, just honest."

Zim nervously rubbed his PAK. "D-Don't you worry my Tallests…The perfect partner is out there somewhere, and I intend to find him! Sure, I may not know which planet he is on, but once I- DOW! MY TENDER BACK!"

Red gave sly smile. "Bye Zim!" With that, he shut off the communicator.

Almost instantly, Purple stood up. "Are you CRAZY? That was the perfect opportunity to get rid of him once and for all! I AM ASHAMED TO CALL YOU MY PARTNER!"

"Easy Purple," Red said. "I'm only doing this because I want a few more laughs before we kill that little twerp. He'll _never_ be able to find someone who can put up with him and his craziness, and when the week is up and his spirit is crushed, we'll rip that PAK of his to shreds!"

Purple wiped a tear from his eye. "That was beautiful…I'm so proud!"

Red gave a wicked chuckle. "This is going to be a fun week!"


	2. A Proposal

"Hi um….Yamta? It is I, ZIM! I know you are busy conquering planet Stampa…. but well….how would you like the GLORIOUS HONOR of becoming the loyal partner of the almighty ZIM? ….Uh huh…really? Aw c'mon, that's just selfish! ….Well, there's evil and then there's just plain rude…..NO! I HAVE NO PROBLEM CONQUERING THIS FILTHY PLANET BY MYSELF…..then why do I need a partner?…I get lonely….ZIM IS NOT IN DENIAL! **YOU** ARE IN DENIAL! ….Hm, I guess that's kinda true…..Doh! GO JUMP IN AN ACID POOL!"

Zim angrily muttered to himself as turned off his communicator. That had been the sixth Irken comrade he had contacted, and he was once again turned down. Didn't they know the great honor that was being bestowed upon them? Didn't they know he was going to be KILLED if he didn't get a partner? Hmph…it wasn't like Zim was hard to work with or anything…he was one of the friendliest guys around! …Hm..he hoped none of the humans playing on the playground had heard him on his communicator.

"What am I going to do?" Zim muttered to himself. "Obviously, I am in no need of a useless _partner,"_ he spat out that last part, "But if I do not please my Tallests…..oh, I AM TOO AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL TO DIE!" Standing up from his seat on the bench, he waved his hands wildley. "OH SWEET IRK! SEND ME A SIGN! A HINT! A HIDDEN METAPHOR IF YOU WILL! WHO IS THE PERFECT PARTNER FOR ZIM? WHOOOOOOOO?"

"Shut up!" Some random kid shouted.

Zim was about to send a sharp comment to the human who dared to address him in such a manner, when he felt hot air run down his neck. Recognizing the horrid feeling, Zim slowly turned his head to face none other than the over sized human Gor.

"Hellloooo," Zim said slowly.

Gor growled. "Loud green kid's voice is prissy!"

Zim was silent. His eyes twitched just a bit. Finally he said, "I am going to give you to the count of three to take that utterly untrue comment back."

Gor blinked.

"One…."

Gor bared his teeth.

"Two…"

Gor let out a deep growl.

"Th-"

Before Zim could finish his count, Gor grabbed him by his leg and threw him against the skool. Zim groaned as he heard the kids around the playground laugh their useless heads off. The invader should've taken the opportunity to pull out some of his lasers, but he was too insulted by the children's laughter to concentrate.

"You FOOLS! HOW DARE YOU ALL LAUGH AT YOUR FUTURE-" Zim winced as he felt Gor punch him in his sqeedely spooch. The Irken gave a little cough. "O.K…I let you have that one for free…"

Gor gave another growl and grabbed Zim by his throat. "Gor enjoys beating snot out of green boy!"

Zim desperately tried to squirm out of the boy's iron grip. "I didn't even _do_ anything to you yet, you filthy human!"

Gor sneered. "Gor needs to blow off steam." Throwing his arm back, the bully chucked Zim….in Gaz's direction.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Zim was flying in his arch enemy's sister's direction…..her eyes were fixed on her gameslave, so she didn't see him coming…..and the next thing either of them knew, they were both face down in the dirt. Gaz groaned as she raised her head from the very untasty ground…and gasped. The freshly bought batteries for her gameslave had fallen out…..and had dropped into the disgusting sewer.

The dark girl's eye twitched as she saw her precious gameslave in such a terrible condition. Surprisingly, it wasn't _Zim's_ death she was slowly planning. The alien had obviously been thrown by someone. _That_ would be the person she would doom. Now if only she could find out who….

"HAHA! Gor threw Zim into the Gaz kid! Gor, that's me! I Gor have nailed….uh, a lot of kids in one!"

Well, that answered that.

Gaz stood up, her whole aura starting to glow an eerie glow. "Gor…you might think you own these people," the girl motioned towards everyone on the playground, "But you don't….I do."

Gor scowled a scowl that belonged to an animal. "Nu-UHHHHHHH!"

Gaz gave a sly smile. "Just look around."

One of the kids took that moment to scream, "GAZ IS ANGRY!"

"GO SPEND THE LAST MINUTES OF YOUR LIVES WITH YOUR LOVED ONES…..OR AR BLOATY'S! WHICHEVER COMES FIRST!" Someone else shouted.

Soon all the kids were running for their pathetic lives as Gaz lifted up a single chair. "Take this meat head!" With that, she hurled the wooden object at the boy as hard as she could….

…only to have him break it with his bare hands.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Hm…that usually works…."

Gor blew smoke from his nostrils and pulled out a bat from thin air. "GOR PUNISH-AHHHHHHH!" He screamed (in a girly way, I might add), once he discovered the annoying green kid was on his back.

No! ZIM punish!" Zim half-joked as poked the human's eyes. Gor cringed in pain, oblivious to Zim's PAK opening…

"No Zim!" Gaz yelled up at him. "I know you're an idiot, but now's not a good time to show it! Who knows who could be watching? Someone with a brain could see you!"

Zim growled, hating to admit to himself that the Dib-sister was right. "Well, what can I use then?" he cried from the top of the human.

"Fight like a man! Or whatever you are!"

"Hey!"

"RAAAAAAHHHHRRR!" Gor bellowed. With a snarl, he grabbed Zimk's arms and held him next to his meaty face. "ANNOYING GREEN KID DIE FOR POKING GOR!"

"Not really!" Gaz called, sending a devastating kick to the meat head's groin. Crying out in pain, Gor accidentally released Zim, who skidded next to Gaz.

He shot her a glare. "Get out of here Earth girl! This is ZIM'S fight!"

Gaz just glared at him back. "It's OUR fight now," she told him.

Zim was about to argue, until he noticed Gor recover from his painful attack. "Well if you know so much, please tell me how we are to be rid of this stinky pig-thing?"

Gaz bit her lip as she saw Gor raise his over-sized bat above their heads. "We can start by RUNNING!" In stunning unison, the two comrades ran out of the jerk's aim.

As the enormous bully roared in frustration, Zim, being who he is, let out a haughty laugh. "FOOL! Do you honestly think that giant…wood…stick…thingy is enough to stop the almi-" Next thing the poor invader knew, he was swung right into the school.

Gaz did a classic face-palm. "Here's a thought Zimmy…QUIT INSULTING HIM!"

Even though Gor was advancing upon him, Zim's focus was on the Earth girl. "Oh, like you don 't insult your enemies when YOU have CLEARLY WON THE DUEL!"

"ONLY WE HAVEN'T WON YET!"

"QUIET TWERPS!" Gor screamed, slamming his bat against Gaz, causing her to be buried in the dirt.

Zim grimaced in a 'Oooh, that had to hurt' way. Pondering on how to defeat this… _disgusting human_ without using his PAK, his eyes slowly wandered to the human's giant…wood…stick…thingy.

There was a roar, but this time it was from Gaz. Her eyes seemed to glow withanger . "You…You just entered a world of nightmares from which there is no awakening!"

Although she had used this threat before, this was the first time Zim had heard of it. _"_ Oooh! I like that! Mind if I borrow it sometime?" he called.

Growling, Gaz lunged herself at Gor, scratching his face like an angry cat. With rabies. "GRRR, GET OFF GOR!" He frantically tried to pull the furious girl off him, but he wasn't getting far there.

Zim wished he could just sit watch the Earth girl rip this human to bits. He found it… dazzling. However, he didn't want to seem _weak_ and _useless_ in front of her, so he took the oppurtunity to steal the giant wood stick thingy.

It was at that moment Gor had managed to yank the angry girl off his face, and now held her by her hair. Before he got a chance to say anything, Zim pulled back the giant stick and beat the human's shin, forcing him to release Gaz.

"I SEEK VENGEANCE!" Zim screamed, as he leaped on the boy, beating him with the giant stick.

Gaz stifled a laugh. It was a real pleasure to see Gor trying desperately reach for the green boy, but miss every time, and was punished by Zim's bat. "Hey!" she called. "Don't hog it! Toss it here!"

Zim stared at her then, knowing she could cause beautiful destruction with such a simple device, tossed her the bat, all while still on top of the giant creep.

Smiling an evil smile, Gaz swung the bat over head. "Hey batta-batta!" she cried, then SLAMMED the bat into Gor's groin.

Head with bruises, face with scratches, and now immense pain down under, Gor crashed into the dirt, letting out a soft groan…..of course this also caused Zim to fall into the dirt as well.

Rolling her eyes, Gaz offered a hand to the dirty alien. Zimwas hesitant, seeming to consider whether or not he wanted any more help from this girl. The dark girl gave an impatient sigh. "Take the hand Zim. I don't carry germs."

Shuddering a bit at the word 'germs', Zim finally grabbed Gaz's small pale hand, and let her help him to his feet. He gave another shudder, hoping his Tallests never found out he had held a human's hand for exactly two seconds.

Gaz stared at him for a second, then trotted over towards her gameslave, making sure it was still well and whole. "Stupid Gor….next time he'll think twice before getting in the way between me and my game…"

Zim brushed the dirt off his shirt. "Yes….The stupid human was defeated…but can you blame him? That is what becomes of those who get in the way of an IRKEN INVADER!" He pointed a tiny finger at Gor. "I LAUGH AT YOU FILTHY HUMAN! For I, ZIM, HAVE SMOTHERED YOUR STINKY FACE IN YOUR OWN PLANET'S USELESS SOIL! I was magnificent," he said, squealing the last part.

"One of these days someone is going to hear you," Gaz snapped, then began absent-mindedly brushing off her gameslave. She didn't know why she was disappointed that Zim hadn't mentioned _her_ help in his little speech. What did she expect? A congratulations? A compliment? A-

"Of course….you….did…most excellent…Little Gaz…good work," she heard Zim force out.

Gaz's eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't let Zim see it. Planting a scowl on her face, she turned her head to look at him. "Yeah…well, you did O.K too, I suppose."

Zim nodded. He definitely did not care for this human, but no matter what the situation, he always appreciated good work once when he saw it. "Interesting…when we fought individually, he had the upper hand…however, once we joined our forces…we were victorious!" he pointed out.

"I could've handled him on my own," Gaz sniffed, causing Zim to frown. 'But…I dunno. I guess we make a pretty good team." With that, she walked away.

Zim's eyes widened as wide as they could. He was eerily quiet. As much as he hated it admit it, Gaz had been a tremendous help with Gor. Together, they had conquered an enemy much larger than themselves…as a team.

As partners.

Zim's mind raced. _Can I do this? Is THIS what it's come to? When I asked Irk to point me in the direction of a partner, I meant an IRKEN! I can't be partners with the Earth girl! She's….an Earth girl! But…all my Irken comrades have turned down the glorious offer of being partners with the almighty ZIM…sigh…she's my last hope…and…it's not like she's as bad as all the other stupid humans, right? Yes, it is the sister of Dib I must gain the partnership of. Hm…something tells ZIM she won't be easy to persuade….perhaps if I ask…nicely?_

"Gaz-human!" Zim called to her, having finally snapped out of his trance. "Wait for Zim!" Running as fast as his tiny legs could carry him, Zim zipped in front of the pale girl's path.

"What do you want now, Zim?" she asked, not pretending she didn't want him out of her sight.

Zim took a deep breath. This. Was. Humiliating! "I…I need to ask you something. Something that I would not usually ask other humans."

Gaz was creeped out by Zim's tone…but it only got worse once Zim grabbed her hand and got down on one knee. "Uh….Zim?"

"SILENCE! I need to get this off my chest," Zim announced, secretly grinding his teeth together. _She better agree to team up with me….this is 'nice' as I'm aloud to act without throwing away in my dignity!_

The dark girl shuddered…Zim wasn't-? He couldn't possibly be-? "Um Zim? You do know what I said yesterday was a j-"

"ZIM'S STILL SPEAKING!" Zim yelled. Settling down, he muttered under his breath, "Look…I know you and I don't know each other very well…and I hope you don't think I'm moving too fast…but there are times when two people must take their 'relationship' to the next level."

It was now impossible for Gaz's eyes to get any wider.

Zim didn't seem to notice. "I guess what I am trying to say ….will you join forc-"

"NO I WILL NOT MARRY YOU!" Gaz screamed suddenly.

Zim scrambled to his feet. "Me-ri? What is this me-ri you speak of?"

A blush spread across the girl's face. "Um…well…you see…what were you saying?"

Zim rolled his eyes. "A partnership! YOU, Little Gaz, have been chosen out of all the human's on this stupid rock, to join forces with me to…well, destroy it!" The small Irken gave his hands a little wave. "Yes, yes, I am aware you feel unbelievably blessed right now, but you must hold in your excitement until we get to my base! There we shall get you prepared for my Tallests!"

Gaz blinked, gave her head a shake, then walked away from the ecstatic invader in front her.

Zim blinked a few timed before calling, "Uh, Dib-sister? My base is the other way!"

"I'm not going to your base!" she called over her shoulder.

Zim was confused. "Well, how can I get you ready for the Tallests unless we-"

"DON'T YOU GET IT?" Gaz screamed, all so suddenly. "I'M NOT JOINING FORCES WITH YOU!"

Zim was silent before he answered, "Why NOT?"

It surprised the invader when Gaz walked over, and leaned her face in close to his. "Because I. Don't. Like. YOU!"

Zim rolled his eyes. "Well DUH. I hate you too! I mean, why should I like you? You're bratty, you're completely obsessed with that gameslave thingy, you're a human -that's a big reason-, you're bossy-"

"If this is your way of trying to change my mind, you're sucking at it," Gaz warned.

"The _point_ is, I need a partner to help me conquer this puny planet, and you are just the filthy human for the job…I get points off for the 'filthy human' part, don't I?"

Gaz gave a shadow of a smile. "Does Zimmy need help against the humans?"

"NO! NO! It is my Tallests….they feel that…I need some assistance. I don't know WHY, but they just-"

"Well I'm sorry, but your Tallests are not my problem," Gaz muttered. "Sorry Zimmy, but I would rather listen to Dib's rants all day than team up with such an ugly, green idiot such as yourself!"

Zim clenched his fists. "FOOL! YOU SHOULD FEEL GRATEFUL I EVEN CONSIDERED HIRING YOU AS MY PARTNER! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY ENOUGH TO REJECT THE ALMIGHTY ZIM'S OFFER! ….And stop calling me 'Zimmy'."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "You're really not all that great Zim, and I really don't see any reward in this for me."

Zim sighed. "Don't you hate humanity too Gaz? Don't you want to rule over all of these pitiful humans? Don't you see? We have a common enemy!" He placed a three-fingered hand on her shoulder. "I've always thought we were connected that way."

Gaz shrugged off his hand. "Don't lie to me, Zim. Yes, I hate humanity….but quiet honestly, I hate you more."

"Then why did you keep saving me from Gor?" Zim blurted out. "You warned me about using my PAK, and you stopped the meat-head from squishing me! If you hate me so much why do-"

"BECAUSE AS MUCH AS I WANT YOU DEAD, GETTING KILLED BY A SCHOOL YARD BULLY IS HUMILIATING!" Gaz screamed. Quieting down, the dark girl sent him a cold stare. "Now unless you want to lose all your limbs, you will leave me alone Zim."

Zim had never glared at anyone so coldly as he was with Gaz at that moment. Not even her brother. He already knew the Membrane family wanted him dead….but hearing from this Earth girl's mouth…it stunned him a bit.

"Well…at least I have the love of my Tallests…it doesn't take an Irken invader to know NOBODY loves you!" Zim found himself saying. "It's kind of sad really, Little Gaz is all alone on this puny rock! The Dib-monster obviously doesn't care for you, your parent-units probably can't stand having such an ugly child, and I- DAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Gaz had scratched Zim across the face. And it _hurt._

"Errh, Evil demon-girl!" Zim hissed.

"Don't you ever come near me again monster, or I swear I'll kill you," Gaz said, her voice shaking a _tad._ Wiping the blood from her nails, the dark girl made her way home.

Zim ferociously wiped the black blood from his cheek. How DARE that Earth child treat him in such a manner? When he ruled the Earth, he would be sure she would be _his_ personal servant. And he would torture her. Slooooowly. She'll be begging for mercy!

The Irken invader bit his lip. _I guess that cuts her out of the 'possible partner' list. I cannot believe how unreasonable she was! Was she too stupid to see what a great offer I gave her? Gr, HOW DARE SHE STRIKE THE BEAUTIFUL FACE OF ZIM? …Ow, screaming in my head hurts….What did she call me? A monster? …I think I preferred her calling me Zimmy….NO!_ _ **She**_ _is the monster! She scratched my face! Evil demon-girl.._

Although it practically killed him to admit it, he was a _little_ disappointed he didn't earn her partnership. _I was so close to being at the end of my problems!_

_Maybe I should've been nicer?_

* * *

_"Hey Gaz, what took you so long?" Dib asked, once his sister had entered the house._

"Just being a Gaz, Dib," his sister grumbled.

"What's that black stuff on your fingers, sis?"

"….What's for dinner, Dib?" she asked, as she walked into the kitchen. She took notice that her dad's floating communicator was turned on and active.

"Oh Gazlene, welcome home," he father greeted. "I've done a little shopping…in case you were wondering."

Raising an eyebrow, Dib made his way over to the fridge and opened the door. "Dad, there's nothing in here but Poop Soda."

Prof. Membrane scratched his head. "I didn't say I went shopping for _you_ guys. What I bought was strictly for science. Seriously, how many times do kids need to eat?"

Gaz resisted the urge to smash her father's communicator.

Shrugging, Dib grabbed a soda for him and his sister, and sat down at the table. "So…how was your day, Dad?"

"It was O.K, I suppose," Prof. Membrane mumbled, leaving it at that.

"I hope it was worth abandoning your children," Gaz told him, taking a drink of her Poop. Who names a soda Poop anyway?

Her father sighed. "Now Gazlene, you can't still be upset about what happened yesterday, can you?"

"Call me Gaz, Dad," the little girl frowned. "And do you even _remember_ what happened yesterday?"

Prof. Membrane nodded. "Yes, and against my better judgement, I forgive you/"

Dib tried to hide behind his Poop Soda. _This it going to get worse before it got better.._

Gaz's eye twitched. "Are you _serious_ Dad? What do _I_ have to apologize for?"

"Can't we have one dinner without a fight? I mean, please?" Dib pleaded.

"You should apologize for that hurtful comment Gazlene. You shouldn't tell your family you hate them. It's very rude."

"Well, maybe I'm a rude girl," Gaz frowned. "Maybe if I didn't have such a failure of a father, I wouldn't be this way!"

"Now wait a minute you-"

"I'll have you know I got in a fight with Zim today. I still have some of his blood on my fingers," Gaz said and showed her hands to her father.

Dib did a classic spit-take with his Poop Soda. "I'm sorry…can we rewind this conversation a bit?"

"You got into a fight? Oh Gaz…are his parents going to sue?" Prof. Membrane asked.

"He doesn't _have_ parents Dad, he's an alien!" Dib pleaded with his father.

Gaz ignored her brother's outburst. "Really? Not even a _little_ concerned about my well-being?" The pale girl finally stood up from her seat and pointed an accusing at her father. "Admit it! You're a failure as a father! I know it! Dib knows it! I just want to hear you say it!"

"Gaz-"

"Admit it! Admit it to me like you did to Mom!"

"Are you DONE?"

"NO!"

"Gazlene Membrane, you make look like your mother, but for the love of pete, YOU'RE NOT HER!"

Infuriated beyond repair, Gaz grabbed her Poop Soda can, and threw it at her father's screen, causing the machine to break.

Everything was still for a moment, before Dib gathered up his courage and announced, "Great Gaz! Now we have NO WAY of talking to him!"

Gaz's temper had reduced, so she slumped down in her seat. "I don't care."

Dib shook his head. "You wouldn't have thrown that tantrum if you didn't care! You've been like this…this bratty goth girl, ever since Mom was abducted by aliens!"

"Dib, for the last time: Mom wasn't taken by any stupid aliens, she was SHOT!" Gaz raged.

Dib waved his hands in the air. "O.K, nobody knows _exactly_ what happened, but we're a family Gaz, and family is supposed to love each other!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't love you or Dad, that's for sure. Do _you_ love _me_?"

Dib was silent for a minute before answering. "I'm not sure…" As soon as he said those words, he felt a pang of guilt in his stomach.

Gaz decided to not let her brother see the hurt that scratched through her heart. "Then I guess we're not much of a family, huh?" That being said, she jumped out of her seat and left the kitchen.

"Hey, where are where are you going?" Dib called.

"I'm going to my room, and if you don't want to die, I suggest you leave me alone for the rest of the night."

_Or forever, it doesn't matter to me….you'll have no choice but to respect me soon…._

* * *

_Luckily, Zim's house wasn't that hard to find. She just had to find the bright green house that glowed like a jack-o-lantern. Once they got more used to each other, she was seriously going to show him how to design a house._

She held her breath as she gazed at her new partner's base. _So this is my future head quarters, huh?_ she thought to herself. She had decided to Zim's deal, and help conquer Earth. She wanted Earth gone. She wanted all the people in it gone. She wanted to be as far away from humanity as possible….that way, no one could hurt her.

And If that meant she had to work with…. _shudder_ …. _Zim,_ so be it.

Gaz held her breath as walked across the alien's front lawn, ignoring the glares from the lawn nomes. They didn't frighten her. If any of them tried to zap her, she would simply blow their leader's base up. She'd find a way…

Finally releasing the air trapped in her lungs, she slowly…hesitantly…. rang the evil alien's doorbell.

"SANTA!" came a voice from the other side of the door.

Oh crud…she had forgotten about…

GIR opened the door with a _huge_ grin on his face. "YEEEEAAAHHHH! SANTA GOT ME A GAZZY! JUST WHAT I WANTED! Do you come with taquitos? I been _extra_ good dis year!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "GIR, go get your master. _Now._ "

"Okie-dokie!" Turning his head, GIR called over his shoulder. "MASTAH! SANTA BRUNG US A PURTY GAZZY! AND SHE TAAAAAAAALLLKKKKSS!"

Gaz tapped her foot, waiting impatiently for the invader to get to the front door. "So how u been?" GIR asked, innocently.

"Gaz-human?"

The scary human lifted her eyes to Zim in a red robe run up to the front door. He had a shocked look on his green face. Gaz noticed he still had scratch marks on his face, from where she had hit him earlier today.

Gaz sighed. "Zim…you win. I….I want to _crush_ this planet, and everyone in it! Just tell me what you need me to doom."

A cruel smile spread over the Irken's face. "Welcome to the Irken tribe…"


	3. PARTNER, Not Slave

**Beep. Beep. Beep. SMASH!**

The alarm clock's beeping died down as a pale hand broke it into a million pieces. Well, it deserved it! Waking Gaz up from her something as stupid as skool…

The dark girl sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She felt like she head slept for approximately two hours. After she had left to agree to Zim's deal, she had stopped for some ice cream, hoping to fall asleep in the store. She didn't. Or at least the manager wouldn't let her.

Gaz _hated_ having to come back to this stupid house. It made her feel sad. And she _hated_ feeling _anything._

Grumbling to herself, the small girl jumped out of her bed and pulled on her usual outfit. Gazing at herself in the mirror, Gaz wondered how much longer it would take for her to look exactly like her mother. It was already painful enough seeing her mom every time she looked at her reflection, and it was only going to get worse once she got older.

Gaz gave a small smirk. The only major difference between their physical appearances was that her mother would never dress the way her daughter did. But hey, wasn't that the reason she chose to wear a gothic look? To remind herself that she was not staring at her mother's soul, but at herself?

Shaking her head, Gaz grabbed her comb and made sure her hair looked _exactly_ like a snake's open jaw, then made her way downstairs for breakfast.

* * *

Ping!

Gaz swiped her pop tarts as soon as they left the toaster, and grabbed herself a cup of milk. Munching into one of her breakfast treats, the girl decided to humor herself, and whispered. "Oh Dib. Breakfast is ready."

He didn't come.

Smirking to herself, Gaz sat at the table and finished her morning meal. Exuasted as she was last night, she took the liberty of unplugging her brother's alarm clock before heading to bed. Hopefully Dib would miss the whole day of skool, and she could finally get a day of peace and quiet.

Ring! Ring!

Gaz's eyes shifted towards the phone hanging on the wall. Who could be calling _this_ early? She considered letting it ring, but then it might wake up Dib, and who wanted that?

Grumbling to herself, the small girl jumped out of her seat and grabbed the phone. "What?" she growled into the device.

"The panda must enter the lion's cave."

What?

Gaz's eye twitched a bit. "Um….excuse me?"

She heard a sigh on the other line, and then, "The little purple panda must enter the green lion's cave this afternoon!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. There was something familiar about this voice. She knew for a fact whoever was on the other line was a girl, but who? And what in the world was she talking about? The dark girl sighed. "Look, I'm sorry lady, but you've got the wrong-"

" _LADY? I AM NO LADY, YOU INSUFFERABLE CHILD!"_

Woops, now she knew why the voice sounded a little familiar.

"Zim? Is that you?" Gaz asked, smirking at her unintentional insult.

" _HOW COULD YOU MISTAKE THE ALMIGHTY ZIM AS A WOMAN?"_

Gaz pulled the phone away from her ear so they wouldn't start bleeding from the sound of his screaming. "Well, how was _I_ supposed to know? I can't see you, and you voice is really prissy!"

Silence.

Gaz tapped the phone. "Zim?"

Nothing.

Gaz slowly opened both of her eyes, and pressed the phone against her ear. "Zim? Are you still there?" The purple haired girl listened closely, and heard a few voices in the background. They were barely audible, but she could just make them out:

" _I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna kill her!"_

" _Mastah, yous can't kill ha! She's yo partner now!"_

" _No one insults the beautiful voice of Invader Zim! NO ONE!"_

"… _She_ _did."_

" _AHHHHHHHHHH-"_

Gaz quickly hung up and shook her head, tiredly. If Zim was going to freak out at something as small as this, they had a rocky partnership ahead of them.

* * *

Sometimes Gaz wondered why she even went to skool. It's not like she was paying attention or anything. She was an honorary straight F student. Now, don't get me wrong, Gaz was actually smart enough to get straight A's…..but how was she going to get her father to come home for 'Parent/Teacher' conferences with _good_ grades?

So, since she had no interest in school (and probably never would), Gaz had no choice but to occupy her time in other ways. Most of them frowned upon by teachers. She got at least one lecture every day:

"Gaz, stop playing your Gameslave."

"Gaz, stop chewing your gum."

"Gaz, stop eating your lunch."

"Gaz, stop eating the other kid's lunch."

"Gaz, stop giving that kid a wedgie."

"Gaz, stop lighting the hamster on fire."

Good times.

However, today she was reduced to doodling, due to the lack of food and matches. So while her teach, Mr. Grumpies, was teaching God knows what, Gaz began to draw her future.

She drew herself with longer hair, and a flowing black cape to match. She was carrying a sythe, quite similar to the one in her game. Below her, she drew the Earth as a giant fire ball, and her father and brother screaming within it.

She made a speech bubble for both of them, her brother screaming, 'Oh no, I'm burning alive!', and her father screaming, 'Burning alive sux!"

Gaz gave a wicked chuckle, feeling excited that this would soon be a reality. She would destroy the world, and she would never get hurt again. She would never have to _see_ anyone ever again….well, except for Zim, since they would be partners, but hey, don't throw out a brand new clock because it has a scratch…

"Gaz, stop drawing that picture of your family burning alive."

Wow, Mr. Grumpies was getting good.

Gaz opened her mouth to respond, when she was interrupted by a banging on the door.

"Who's there?" Mr. Grumpies called out.

"Dib!"

"Oh no," Gaz whispered, hiding her face in her hands. She sensed humuliation in the air.

"Dib who?" the teacher called.

"….Dib Membrane," said the voice behind the door.

Mr. Grumpies waved his hand, dismissively. "That joke wasn't funny at all! I'm not letting you in!"

Gaz was coming to the conclusion that all the adults on this planet were crazy.

"It's not a joke! I need to come in!" Dib called.

"What you need is a joke book! Who wants to let someone in who has no sense of humor?"

Gaz frowned, broke the fourth wall, and said to you, "You understand why I have anger issues now, right?"

"Um…hold on, I'll think of something….," Dib muttered.

All of a sudden, a boy with bouncy blonde hair screamed, "SIR! I have a funny joke!"

Mr. Grumpies raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

The boy quickly opened the door and pointed at Dib's face.

My. Grumpies threw back his head and let out a cackle. "Say, that _is_ funny! You may come in."

"O.K, that's just wrong," Dib muttered. Clearing his throat, he announced, " I need to speak with my sister, _please."_

Mr. Grumpies smirked. "You sister is not in this class."

Dib's eye twitched. "Yes…she is…I can see her right over there," he said pointing towards his sister.

"That's not your sister," the gruff teacher said.

"Yes she is!" Dib gave Gaz a desperate look. "Gaz, tell him you're my sister!"

Gaz looked around the classroom. "Dib, I swear to you that for as long as I live, I will never admit that."

Growling, Dib marched over to Gaz's table, grabbed her arm, and began pulling her outside. "You're coming with me, sis!"

As the two kids made their way off, Mr. Grumpies shouted, "DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU'RE FUNNY…OR HAVE A MOUSTACHE!"

* * *

"Dib, you better have a good reason for-"

"Why Gaz?" Dib interrupted. "Why did you do that to me this morning?"

A pause. "Oh, you mean the alarm clock thing? I just felt like it."

Dib growled. _"Why?_ I missed the entire day of school!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Dib, it's only third period."

Her brother clenched his teeth. "No _Gaz_ , it's sixth period!"

His sister paused and looked up at the clock. "Oh…where does the day go?" She gave her brother and uninterested look and said, "Listen Dib, I've got some homework I need to pretend to do, so-"

" _Why_ Gaz?" Dib scowled, his face beet red. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Gaz let a small smile spread over her face. "It's really not that hard."

"But I'm your _brother._ How can that not _mean_ anything to you?"

Gaz sighed. "Jeez Dib, this isn't the worse thing I've ever-"

"Oh no, it is!" Dib cried, pointing a finger at her. "Don't you see what you've done? Not only did you make me miss my big exam, thank you very much, but you might've also endangered the entire human race!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Because you slept in?"

Dib face palmed. "I'm talking about _Zim._ Who knows what he might've accomplished while I was gone? Without me around, he has free access to do whatever he wants! He could place mind controlling helmets on some student's heads, or make a portal to the underworld in the cafeteria or…or….GO INTO THE GIRL'S BATHROOM!"

Gaz made sure to hide the smile forming on her face. Should she tell her brother that she was now working along side the creature that could turn children into zombies, create gates to Hell, and seriously invade a woman's privacy? Hm….soon, but not yet. She had to wait until he had a mouth full of food so she could watch him choke.

"I seriously don't think there's a way for me to care less about that, Dib," Gaz muttered.

"Of _course_ not!" Dib cried out suddenly. "Of course not, because it has nothing to do with video games, pizza, or PIGS! Do you know how _useless_ you are in this war?"

Gaz scowled at him. "Here's a little something you may or may not have known about me: I chose _not_ to be useful, because I HATE the world!"

Dib sighed, "Gaz, it's your duty to-"

"I don't have a duty, Dib. I do whatever I want. If you want to go running around pretending you're a hero, be my guest. Because, news flash bro, _you'll never be able to defeat Zim!"_

Dib looked like his sister had just slapped him. Finally a fierce scowl crossed his face. It was so deep, it actually scared Gaz a bit. "Geez Gaz, I seriously can't believe you're a human sometimes! You're more like one of those alien abominations!"

Gaz pretended to pout. "Sucks that I'm your sister then, huh?"

"You can say _that_ again!" Dib said instantly. "Do me a favor, and get captured by the aliens next time there's an invasion!"

Gaz was a little stunned. "Di-"

"Just don't talk to me anymore! I HATE YOU! And I'm so done with you, you little brat!" Still scowling, the big headed boy walked away from her, muttering under his breath, "I just _had_ to be given an evil sister…"

Gaz was quiet for a few minutes. Dib said he hated her? Last night, he had told her he wasn't sure he loved her….but he now he was saying he _hated_ her? Ouch.

Gaz frowned. What did she care? She had hated her brother for years….what did it matter to her that he was just now returning the feelings? She didn't _need_ her brother anymore. She was going to rule the world.

She slowly turned her head towards the classroom door. "Don't you guys have anything better to do?"

The group of classmates who had been eavesdropping gulped, and rushed back to their seats.

Gaz let a small smile creep over her face. _If only my family was that trainable_ , Gaz thought to herself. _I wonder if-_

Her thoughts were cut off as a small, gloved hand suddenly clamped over her mouth, and began to drag her off. Gaz struggled, wondering who would _dare_ grab her in such a manner? Growling, the angry girl bit down on her captor's hand. Hard.

"OOOOOOWWWWWWW!"

Gaz was instantly released, but winced. She knew who that prissy voice belonged to. "Zim?"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! MY BEAUTIFUL HAND!" Zim cried out, gripping his hand in terror. "MY BEAUTIFUL HAND! IT WAS BITTEN BY A HUMAN! I'M GOING TO GET INFECTED!"

Gaz watched him roll around the floor with a blank expression.

Zim slowly grabbed her leg. "Tell me Gaz-human, how much longer do I have before I vanish, or get rabies?" he said, weakly and dramatically, "Will I ever be able to complete my mission? Will this bite cause me to change into a human as well? If the answer is yes, cut my throat now!"

Gaz checked her surroundings. Where was that violin music coming from?

"I had so much I to live for!" the alien continued. "And you took it all away with just a simple snap of your teeth! I hope you have a horrible time sleeping at night after this!" Zim gave a few coughs before wheezing out, "Tell GIR…..I….loathe him…" And with that, the invader collapsed on the floor.

Gaz was quiet for a minute, before asking, "Are you done?"

Zim's head instantly shot up. "Yeah, that ought to do it."

"News flash green bean, human bites are not toxic," she told him.

Zim's eyes darted back and forth. "Oh…my wrong!"

"It's my _bad_ , Zim, " Gaz scowled as the alien scrambled to his feet. "And what was the big idea grabbine me like that?"

The green boy sighed. "I told you this morning on the phone we had to have a meeting at my base!"

Gaz's eye twitched. "NO…you said the panda had to enter the lion's cave!"

"What do you think that MEANT?" Zim stressed. "The panda=you, the cave=my base, and the lion=ME!"

"Any particular reason you didn't just SAY 'Gaz, meet me at the base this afternoon'?"

"Because your horrible stink brother might've been eaves dropping, DUH!"

Gaz shook her head. "And you grabbed me instead of telling me to come the base because-?"

Zim stuck his 'nose' up in the air. "Because I was still mad at you for what you said this morning!"

"You're _still_ upset about that? You Irkens sure now how to hold a grudge…"

"Well…you should apologize!"

"Apologize? You just grabbed me and you want me to-"

"Apologize!"

"But-"

"For the love of Irk, APOLOGIZE! Otherwise, I shall grab you like that every morning!"

"….Fine."

"…."

"I'm sorry your voice is prissy."

"See? Now was that so- HEY! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

* * *

Many disputes later, the two partners had finally made their way to the front door of Zim's 'house'. Gaz looked over the house before saying, "You really ought to think about redecorating."

Zim looked over his home, slowly. Then he said, "I've never decorated the base before…how can redecorate it, if it has never been decorated?"

Oh, Gaz wanted to kill him so badly.

Zim kicked open his door, and gestured for her to enter. The dark girl had to smile at the alien's sudden attack of politeness…but she made sure to step on his foot when she entered to make up for it.

Gaz sighed as looked around living room. She _really_ hated it. The carpet was ugly, the couch was covered in snack food, and ..what was up with the giant picture of the monkey?

Shrugging, the dark girl turned to the alien who had just entered the house. "So…what's our first mission?"

To her surprise, the green boy threw back his head a laughed. ( _Ew, his tongue really does like a worm!_ , Gaz thought) Zim wiped a tear from his eye before saying, "Do you honestly think you're ready to go on a mission?"

Gaz's eye gave a little twitch. "Excuse me?"

"HOORAY! GAZZY'S HOME!"

Gaz winced as she felt a certain robot clamp onto her leg. "I feel complete" he whispered.

The dark girl scowled and tried to pull the little robot off her, but to no avail. Frustrated beyond belief, she turned back to Zim. "What do you mean I'm not ready for a mission?"

Zim smirked. "You are a strong human, that is true. However, you know nothing about the Irken ways, the Irken ships, the Irken technology, the Irken-"

"And _why_ do I need to know all these things?" the pale girl demanded.

Zim rolled his eyes, as if she had just said the stupidest thing in the world. "Because one day-and when I say one day, I mean in about a week- my Tallest will want to meet you! And if you're not qualified enough to be an Irken invader, then I will be DESTROYED!"

Gaz seemed unfazed.

Zim's eye twitched. "And then you won't have the technology to destroy the world!"

"Good point," the girl muttered.

Out of thin air, Zim pulled out a big bigger than the world's largest dictionary. "So, I need you to study these Irken facts, so you are well prepared."

Gaz's mouth dropped, and her eyes opened wide. "Are you _serious_? It'll take forever to even _read_ that, let along _study_ it!"

Zim shrugged and pushed the book in her hands. "Then I suggest you get started!" With a little smirk, Zim made his way out of the room.

"What about you?" Gaz called.

Zim turned his head back to her. "What do you mean 'What about me'?"

"Shouldn't _you_ be studying too?"

Zim blinked. "Um…I'm an Irken, remember? I don't need to study about my own race!"

Gaz shook her head. "That's not what I meant! You should be learning about humans from _me._ You know, learn about your enemies?"

"Why do you think I go to SKOOL?" Zim demanded.

"But you can get a lot of information just by asking _me_ some questions! Even _you_ can see the logic in that!"

Zim looked unimpressed. "I'll _tell you_ when I need your help." Pushing a button on the wall, the floor panel underneath him disappeared and fell into his laboratory below.

Gaz scowled and opened the book. How dare Zim think he can push _her_ around? She was smarter than him, stronger than him, and quiet frankly, _better_ than him!

* * *

"So…^/^ is the letter 'Z' in the Irken alphabet? That's dumb." Sighing, the pale girl looked down at her ankle and said, "GIR? Aren't you getting tired of hanging on my leg?" An hour had passed, and the little guy was still holding on.

"I LIKES YOU, GAZZY! AND I LIKES YA LEG!" he cried. "YA LEG AND I ARE FRIIIEEEEENNNDDDSS!"

Gaz felt her eye twitch again. "What's it gonna take to get you AWAY from me?"

GIR looked up at Gaz with his big blue eyes. "Gazzy? Are you and Mastah friends, now?"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "No GIR. Your mater and I are partners. That's it."

"BUT WHHHHHYYYYYY? WHY YOU AND MASTAH NOT LUV EACH OTHER?"

Gaz gave a little shudder and the words 'master', 'love', and 'you' in the same sentence. "Because we don't like each other. He's a stuck up Irken and I'm a bratty human."

GIR pouted for a second before saying, "ARE YOUS AND I FRIEEEEEENDS?"

Again, shudder. "GIR, I don't-" she stopped as she saw tears begin to form in the little robot's eyes. She didn't know what it was, but something inside her didn't like seeing the little guy like that. For some reason, _his_ tears were making _her_ sad. Finally, she sighed and said, "O.K, sure."

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" GIR cried out, finally releasing the girl's leg. Gaz watched in amazement as the little robot began to do…well, the robot.

_What did I just agree to?_

Groaning, she looked at her book to see how much she had read. It had been officially one hour, and she had read officially one page. Hey, it was boring! She didn't even like reading about her own history, let alone another species'!

Grumbling to herself, Gaz turned to her new 'friend'. "GIR, where's the bathroom?"

GIR stopped his mindless dance long enough to point the kitchen, before resuming his ironic moves.

Gaz's eye widened at the sight of a toilet sitting randomly in the kitchen. The girl shook her head at the lack of privacy, but…she seriously had to go.

Groaning, the girl said over her shoulder. "No peeking GIR!"

"PEEK! Peek, peek, peek, peek…"

Gaz shook her and got up on the toilet. Sighing, she decided to test how well this thing flushed. So, she grabbed the chain and pulled….next thing she knew she was falling headfirst into the toilet, being sucked down a long tube.

It flushed very, very well.

Screaming the whole way, Gaz took a mental note to kill Zim for this. She zipped through yards of tubes, feeling like she was on a really bad carnival ride.

**THUD**

Gaz landed on her bum, as her terrifying ride came to an end. Groaning she looked up at the tube she had just dropped out of. _I wonder what would have happened if I had actually peed up there?_

Beep. Beep. Zzzt. Chhhrrrr. Beep.

Gaz's eyes opened to see herself surrounded by advanced technology. There was electricty crackling, lights shining, screens beeping, you name it.

 _Oh great, I'm in his stupid lab again,_ Gaz thought to herself. "Well, so long as I'm here," she said, aloud.

Gaz made her way over to a giant computer screen. It was quiet similar to a regular lap top, what with e-mail checking and folders at the left of the screen.

Raising an eyebrow, Gaz took the mouse (yes, there was a mouse), and clicked on the folder that said 'Photos'.

"This ought to be good," Gaz smirked. She watched as multiple photos scattered across the screen. "Dib, Dib, Dib, Zim standing _on_ Dib, Dib, Dib, GIR, Zim screaming _at_ GIR, Dib, Dib, pig, ….um? Dib, Zim, Zim and Dib fighting, Dib standing on Zim, Zim yelling at GIR again, and Dib."

Gaz shook her head and closed the folder. Zim was just as obsessed as her brother. Gritting her teeth, she clicked on another folder that said 'Tallest'. Instantly, a bunch of pictures of two _very_ tall Irkens appeared on the screen. One had a red theme going on, the other a purple theme.

 _So these are Zim's feared rulers?_ the girl thought to herself. _They look pretty stupid…_ Gaz suddenly got a chill. She felt it run straight down her back. Something about these two aliens seemed off…something about them…dare she say it, scared her.

 _Um…maybe it's because they are the rulers of a planet full of invaders?_ she thought to herself.

 _No…it's more than that…_ she argued in her head. Before she could take another look at the Tallest, she found herself being lifted off her feet and sucked through another tube.

_Oh crap, not again!_

* * *

This time, Gaz landed back in the living room, not gently I might add. Rubbing her head she turned her gaze to GIR, who was hugging his stuffed piggy. "GIR…what happened?"

GIR whimpered. "Yous in trouble…"

The dark girl was shocked for a second before she felt sharp claws dig into hair, and yank her to her feet. "What the-"

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Aw crud.

Gaz turned her eyes to Zim's angry scowl. "Zim, you have exactly to the count of three before I-"

"DON'T CARE!" Zim shouted, tightening his grip on the human's hair. "HOW DARE YOU ENTER MY LAB, YOU FILTHY, IDIOTIC HUMAN?"

Growling, Gaz kicked Zim in his squeedly spooch, forcing him to release her. "It was an accident. I was just trying to use the toilet and I got sucked into your lab."

Zim's eyes widened. "WHAT? Y-You didn't actually…."

"No, I like to test the flusher before I use stranger's bathrooms. You actually have a lot of cool stuff down there."

"SILENCE!" Zim screamed. "What did you see?"

Gaz sighed. "I saw-"

"What did you see?"

"I saw-"

"WHAT DID YOU SEE?"

Gaz gave a small pause. "I just looked at some photos or Dib and the Tallest."

Zim looked like he had been shot. "NOOOO! I KNEW YOU'D FIND MY VIDEO GAME TRAINING DEVICE!"

Gaz's eyes widened. "You have video games down there? Excuse me boys, I have to go to the bathroom again…"

"NOPE!" Zim cried, grabbing her arm. "You are forbidden to enter there ever again!"

Gaz frowned and removed her arm. "We're partners now, aren't we? The lab is both of ours!"

Zim's eye twitched. "Are you CRAZY human? None of this Irken technology is even a BIT yours! I made the base with my OWN TWO HANDS!"

"I thought you ordered it as Base Hut?" GIR chided.

"Shhh!" Zim hissed.

Gaz scowled. "Partners are supposed to share everything!"

Zim mimicked her words in a mocking way. "Call us partners if you MUST, Dib-sister. However, I promise you, I shall NEVER have equal ranks with a hyuuuuu-man! As far as I'm concerned, you are my SLAVE!"

Gaz sharply grabbed the front of his shirt, and pulled him in close to her. "Oooohhhh no Zim. I did not sign up to be your SLAVE! You need to get this through you head right now: As long as we're partners, we stand as equals!"

Zim scowled. "Never!" he hissed.

The dark girl looked like she was going to blow, but then finally, she dropped him on the floor. "Fine. I quit."

"WHAT?" Zim cried out as the purple haired girl walked towards the door.

"I am a slave for NO ONE! Good luck finding yourself a partner who can put up with you!" With that, she left.

A moment of silence passed between the Irken and his robot, before said robot cried out "YOU WUINED IT! WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MEEEEEEAAAAAANNN? WE WAS GONNA BE ONE HAPPY FAAAAAAMMMMIIIILLLLLYYY!"

Zim was shocked. "GIR! How dare you pick the side of the Earth-stink! You should remain loyal to your master at all times!"

GIR sniffed. "But Gazzy was ma mastah too…"

"NO SHE WASN'T!" Zim bellowed. "YOU BELONG TO ME! MY LAB BELONGS TO ME! THIS BASE BELONGS TO ME, AND ME ONLY!"

Gir watched as his master panted from lack of air. "Well that's no fun…." That being said, the little robot dragged his piggy into the kitchen and wallowed in the emo corner.

Zim frowned. Gaz had been completely unreasonable! EQUAL treatment? She was NUTS! He'd just have to find another partner. Someone who understood _he_ was the superior one.

"But none of them will be as good as the Gaz-beast," Zim found himself saying.

* * *

_I serve NO ONE! That annoying, little stuck up alien…That's the last time I make a deal with an Irken!_

These were Gaz's thoughts as she sat on a park bench. There went her dreams for world domination….but working with Zim….it just wasn't worth it.

Oh well. At least she was going to suffer alone. The Tallest would destroy him for not having a partner. She could always get a good laugh out of _that._

Her mind flashed back to the two dopey looking figures she had seen in Zim's computer. What was it about them that made her want to hide? It was pathetic! They were obviously stupid rulers, who only got to rule in the first place because they were tall.

But then why did she get the feeling there was more to them than what the seemed?

Shaking her head, Gaz straightened her newspaper/blanket, and laid down on the bench. No way was she going back home. Especially not after that fight she had with her brother. She wouldn't come home tonight, and the next day at school, she would watch him panic.

Even though she was no longer trying to rule the world, she still knew how to cause some trouble.


	4. Moving In

Ah, Friday morning. It was beautiful. The sun was shining with a golden radiance, the birds were singing about their happy little tunes, and the children of the world were discussing what they would do on their weekends.

Oh, how Gaz _loathed_ it all.

Along with her usual dose of sourness, the dark girl was _twice_ as grumpy. It wasn't _just_ from her lack of sleep (apparently park benches didn't make good beds), she was still angry at Dib, Zim, her father, and Gor.

She really ought to let the Gor one go, but Zim wasn't the only one who could hold a grudge.

Apparently the kids at skool could detect her foul mood, because everyone seemed to back away from her as she walked down the hall. Not that they ever really approached her before. Everyone at the skool pretty much considered her as 'The Human Plague', or 'The Demon Child.'

Not that she cared what other people thought of her. She was independent. The idiots that roamed this planet….she didn't need their approval. She didn't need-or _care-_ about anybody besides herself.

She made a soft gurgling noise as she opened her locker. The purple haired girl was so caught up in her own thoughts, she almost missed the piece of paper taped to her math book. When she did catch sight of it, her evil mind left the people she had promised to doom, and began thinking up ways to doom the person who would _dare break into her locker!_

If it was a joke, she would punch the creep in the face.

If it was a love note, she would hang the fool, while punching him in the face.

If it was a threatening note, she would hang the foolish creep over a tank of sharks, while punching him in the face.

If it was a ransom note telling her that some bad guy was holding her brother hostage….

…. She would send them a gift basket.

Turns out it was none of the above. It actually looked like…a schedule? Gaz frowned. So, the teachers were reduced to sneaking her class times on her skool supplies, eh? When were they going to realize that she would come to her classes when and _if_ she felt like it?

Against her better judgment, she decided to read the stupid thing… but it didn't _sound_ like something the teachers would write.

_Mon-Wed: Irken History_

_Thurs-Frid: Battle Training_

_Sat: Tallest 101_

_Sun: You are permitted to choose whichever of the above you wish to re-study._

_We have only seven Earth days before my Tallest wish to meet you. You need to be able to impress them with scariness, cruelty, and intelligence. You have the scariness and cruelty down, but intelligence….not so much. So…WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? STUDY! STUDY AS IF YOU HAVE NEVER STUDIED BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE! …..Wait, have you? NEVER MIND! JUST STUDY!_

_P.S- Please be a dear and eat this note after you have memorized it. I do not wish for your brother to read it._

_Love_ (Gaz took notice that the word was scratched out) _sincerely_ (scratched out) _from your totally awesome partner_ (scratched out) _Zim wrote this, okay?_

Gaz reread the schedule in amazement. Was…was this Zim's way of asking her to come back? His self -centered, stuck up way? Was it is personal way of apologizing?

Just when Gaz was about to actually have a nice thought towards the green alien, she looked at the date on the right hand corner.

3/03/11

Gaz growled an animal's growl and crumbled the paper. That was _yesterday._ Probably _before_ they broken off their partnership. She made a mental note to kick Zim's butt for breaking into her locker.

Her scowl deepened as she cursed herself for believing Zim wanted to be partners again. What was she expecting? For him to admit he was _wrong_ to call her his slave? Yeah, right! When pigs fly! That ego maniac would rather die than admit he had made a mistake, and the fact that she was a human only decreased those chances.

"Big-headed nerd, ahoy!" someone shouted.

Gaz's eyes widened a bit. Her brother was walking in her direction! She nervously looked down at the crumbled training schedule. She had to get rid of it!

"Hey Gaz," Dib greeted, nonchalantly.

"Mmb," the dark girl grunted.

"Um…what's in your mouth?" Dib asked, noticing his sister's cheeks were bulging.

Gaz paused for a minute, before swallowing whatever it was that had been in her mouth. "My teeth, Dib. My teeth are in my mouth."

"Whatever," Dib said, rolling his eyes. That being said, he proceeded to his locker which happened to be right next to his sister's.

Gaz didn't appreciate the way he just blew off the mystery of what she had been eating. Usually he would press her further about this. She decided now would be a good time rub his stupidity in his face. "So…did you miss me?"

Dib paused from taking his books from out of his locker. "Since yesterday? Not really."

The dark girl rolled her eyes. "I'm talking about last night."

"No. Wasn't the first time you locked yourself in your room without talking to anybody."

Gaz felt her blood run cold. He heart silenced itself in shock. Had Dib…had Dib really just said what she _thought_ he said? "You….you thought I was in my room? What did you think when I didn't come down for dinner?"

Dib shrugged. "I dunno. You went out to get a pizza didn't you?"

Gaz felt like she was going to explode. Dib, her own brother,…..he didn't even know she was gone! He didn't feel guilty at all! He thought she had been in her bedroom all night! _What kind of a brother WAS he?_

"Gaz? You okay?" Dib asked, waving his hand in front of her face.

"Dib," Gaz scowled. "You….are…. _officially_ the worst brother ever!"

The older brother laughed the comment off. "Why? Because I didn't fall for your cold shoulder routine for once? I told you, I'm done with you! I'm tired of constantly looking out for you, only to get punched in the face! If you're sooooooo independent, go look out for yourself! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a planet to save!" That being said, Dib made his way to his first class.

The boy had use all his willpower not to turn and check on his sister. Deep down, he knew he could never hate her. They had been through too much together. But… he was _sick_ of her! Sick of her attitude, sick of her bullying, and sick of her acting like she was the only one hurting from their neglectful father.

 _I guess this is what a love/hate relationship feels like,_ Dib thought to himself. The boy frowned. "Well, if she hates my company so much, she can just look out for herself. I've tried being a good brother, and what do I get? A black eye every Monday! She wants her personal space? Fine! Let us see who wins this battle of independence! Soon, she'll realize she can't survive without he big brother defending her, and then she will have no choice but to respect me! I don't have conflicting emotions, that's TOTALLY being a good older brother!"

"SHUT UP, YOU BIG HEADED FREAK!" a teacher shouted.

….He really had to stop talking to himself.

* * *

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Stupid mashed potatoes….stupid Dib…stupid life!"

Gaz angrily threw down her fork, and glared at her mashed potatoes. They really tasted awful. They would probably taste better with some ketchup.

 _But nooooo,_ Gaz thought to herself. _The mashed potatoes had to go and abandon the ketchup just because the ketchup was a little sour! The mashed potatoes were supposed to_ _be there_ _for the ketchup! It's not like the ketchup had a french fry or a hamburger to lean on! The mashed potatoes were being completely selfish! They were supposed to love the ketchup unconditionally! Well, too bad for you, you mashed up mess! The ketchup is just fine without you! THE KETCHUP IS AN INDEPENDENT SAUCE!_

Gaz growled and threw her mashed potatoes into the garbage. "Take that, stupid big headed potatoes…"

"I see you are not fond of the food the cafeteria has to offer. Understandable."

 _And so, the prissiest voice alive has returned,_ Gaz mused. She scowled as a certain green boy calmly sat down at the table she and Dib _usually_ shared, as if it was perfectly normal. "What do you want, Zim?"

Zim drummed his fingers anxiously on the table, as if he was deep in thought. Finally he said, "Am I not allowed to sit here like a normal hyuuuuman?"

"At _my_ table? No. _Nobody_ sits here but Dib and I," Gaz muttered.

The alien's eyes widened in shock, before he checked his surroundings. "But…..I do not see the Dib-stink. You are sitting here by yourself…..unless that's what you want me to think!" Scowling, Zim jumped on top of the table and pointed an accusing finger at her. "WHERE IS HE, GAZ-BEAST? WHERE IS HE HIDING? WHAT ARE YOU TWO PLANNING? TELL MEEEEEEEE! TELL ME NOW!"

Gaz just stared at him.

"I SAID TELL ME NOW! AS IN, THIS VERY SECOND!"

"Get off the table, you idiot!" Zita shouted from across the cafeteria.

Zim turned his finger towards the girl. "You cannot tell the almighty ZIM what to do, Earth child! YOU ARE NOT MY TALLEST!"

"Zim, sit down, or I'm leaving!" Gaz screeched at him.

Grumbling a few Irken curse words, the loud alien resumed sitting across from the scary girl.

"Dib has to make up a test, so he's missing lunch," Gaz told him. "Not that we're on speaking terms anyway."

"You and your brother-unit had a fight? Again, understandable," Zim nodded.

"What do you want from me, idiot?" Gaz scowled.

A goofy smile spread over the Irken's lips. "No! As a matter of fact, I do not wish for you to give me any idiot!" Zim threw back his head in insane laughter, wiping tears from his eyes once he was done. Disappointedly, he noticed Gaz had not laughed with him. "Um….that was a joke, little Gaz. You should laugh. After all it was hilarious. I AM HILARIOUS!"

Gaz glowered at him. "Zim…"

"Dib-sister… have I ever mentioned how _not_ hideous you look?"

"You see this fork?"

"Okay! Okay! No need to get Gazzy on me," Zim shouted. He nervously scratched the back of his head before placing a napkin in front of the dark girl.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "I'm not throwing your trash away."

Zim groaned. "Just look at the napkin, stupid human!"

After sending him a dark glare, Gaz looked down at the napkin to find a strange symbol written on it. It kind of looked like a wheel.

"Um….?" she hummed.

"You don't what it is? It's the Irken symbol of truce. It is known as _The Irken Symbol of Truce!_ Seriously, did you even _read_ the book I gave you?"

Gaz inspected the symbol closely. It was stupid. "And….you're showing me this because…?

Zim rolled his fake eyes. "Wow, and I here I thought you were _smarter_ than the rest of your species. I'm showing you this symbol because I want a truce! Back on my planet, when one would try to make peace with another Irken (which was quiet rare), they would hold the _Ritual of Forgiveness,_ and present to one another the _Irken Symbol of Truce._ I'd do the ritual, but it must be a public thing, and half the things we do are considered illegal on this planet."

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Wait…so you're saying you want to be partners again?"

Zim nodded. "Yes, do you accept?"

The dark girl glared at him. "Wait…partner? Or _slave_?"

The alien grimaced a bit. "All right, fine! Partners! Equal ranks, yadda, yadda, yadda!"

"And the Irken technology?"

Zim bit his lower lip in pain. "Yes, yes,….we now share the technology. My things are your things; your things are my things. We stand as one now! Happy?"

The dark girl smirked a bit. "What makes you so desperate?"

"ZIM is not desperate!" The alien instantly defended. "ZIM IS…..look, I've got six days to live, we've wasted one day, you're the only one who can tolerate me, can you blame me?"

Gaz paused to think. Should she really go back to plan A? Try and take over the world? It still sounded appealing, especially after her encounter with her brother. But could she put up with Zim for that long? Could she put up with his constant rants, huge ego, and loud tyrants?

Actually that didn't sound much different than living with her brother.

….living with her brother….hm….

Gaz frowned at him. "I'll return on two conditions."

"Conditions?" Zim whispered.

The dark girl nodded. "First off, I want an apology."

"…Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Apologize," Gaz ordered.

"…Fine."

"…."

"I'm sorry you acted like such a brat."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "That was payback for yesterday, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was," Zim smiled.

"Cute. Now apologize!"

"Are you _serious?"_ Zim whined like a two-year-old.

"Absolutely. No apology, no partnership."

Zim's right eye twitched. Why did she have to be so _difficult?_ Why did she constantly have to prove herself BETTER than him? It was quiet irritating.

He didn't want to apologize to this…this…human baby! It was embarrassing enough to have to come and ask her to come back! Apologizing was a sign of weakness, and Invader Zim was not weak!

"Can I not, and say I did?" Zim asked.

He only got a glare as a response.

Zim swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. How many times was this girl going to _humiliate_ him? He couldn't back out, he _needed_ her. Not to mention the Irken Symbol of Truce took a while to draw….

Well here went nothing.

Zim began to sweat. "I'm…..I….am…s-ss-s-s…."

Gaz's eyes opened a bit to see that he was sweating like a water fountain. _He is such a drama queen…it's really not that hard…_

"Ssssss…sssssss…ss….ss…..ss…ooooo…..sssooooo…sssssss…"

"Apology accepted Zim," Gaz finally said, deciding to give the poor guy a little mercy. He seriously looked like he was going to choke up blood! Besides, she didn't like saying it either.

Zim sighed in relief. "All right then. Meet me this afternoon, and we shall-"

"You didn't hear my second condition," Gaz interrupted him.

"….You were serious about there being a second one?" Zim winced.

"Afraid so," the dark girl told him.

Zim wiped the sweat from his brow. "Oh sweet Irk…you're not going to make me say 'thank you' now, are you?"

"No. Nothing like that."

"Whew! Thank the Tallest!"

"I want to move in with you."

Zim's brain stopped working for approximately two minutes. He gazed in horror at the young girl's serious face. She meant it. She wanted to live with him. She wanted to share the base. Only one thought was in the Irken's mind:

_How can one human hold in so much evil?_

"Please tell me this is one of your evil jokes," Zim pleaded with her.

Gaz shook her head. "Nope. Not this time. You want me to be your partner? I get to live in the base."

"…. _WHY?"_ Zim screeched. "What is wrong with your own home?"

"Dib lives in it," Gaz reminded him.

"Yet again, understandable," Zim told her. "But I do not wish to have you living in my beautiful base!"

The dark girl shrugged. "That's my deal. Take it or leave it."

"BUT THIS IS INSANITY!" Zim screamed. "I mean, we BARELY know each other! I AM A MAN, FOR IRK'S SAKE! WHY should I give up MY home for someone I can barely stand? IT'S UNATURAL!"

"Preach it brother, PREACH!" a teacher shouted to him.

"I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER-UNIT, TEACHER-STINK!" Zim shouted back.

Gaz shrugged and got off her seat. "Fine. If you would rather die than live with me, I don't see why I should-"

"WAIT!" Zim cried, even though she hadn't started walking yet.

The green boy placed his three fingered hand on his forehead. Cracking one eye open, he stared at the evil human in front of him. "I do not like you, Dib-sister," Zim said, his voice surprisingly calm.

"Yeah, I still don't like you either," Gaz retorted.

After groaning in pain, Zim finally released a pained sigh. "Very well. You shall live with me in my base."

Gaz gave him a sly smile and offered her hand. "Partners?"

Zim stared at her hand, then said, "I do not wish to touch you."

"Just shake my hand Zim," Gaz ordered him.

Sighing, the green alien grabbed the small girl's hand and shook it. "Partners…you filthy human."

Gaz shook back. "Partners it is….you stupid alien."

* * *

Irkens. They were conquerors. They invaded. They killed. They impersonated. They stole snacks. They kidnapped.

And above all, they were known amongst many planets. You never knew who was your friend and who was just an Irken in disguise.

Irken's were so focused on making themselves known among the galaxy, no one ever took notice of the secret race. The race that had been focusing on keeping themselves hidden for centuries. What's more, they were actually twice as dangerous as any Irken.

The Vesen.

Half human, half crab, half demon, they were a frightening sight. Their upper body usually had the appearance of a human, but their demon blood gave them ancient, grey skin. Another way to spot their demon heritage was their blood red eyes. The eyes that seemed to pierce your very soul every time you _peeked_ at them.

Their legs belonged to those of a crab. They were almost spider-like, but they were as tough as iron. If you tried to send a bullet into one of _those_ legs….well, you wouldn't far.

Another thing noticeable about the Vesen were their four arms. While two were grey and human like, the other two were giant lobster claws. Two to grab their enemy. Two to crush their enemy.

Although they were indeed frightening creatures, they were unknown amongst the galaxy. They did not have a planet of their own, so they traveled through space in their spacecraft. As impressive as it was, the Vesen kept to the shadows. Unlike Irkens, they were not willing to show off their work.

And what was there goal? To take over the universe, of course. And they already had the perfect plan in mind….

These creatures had a leader, you know. A leader who at that very moment was fiddling with his scanners. Vixen was his name. He had the usual attire of a Vesen, with the exception of long white hair falling over his face.

With a heart as black as coal, Vixen cared about nothing more than reaching his goals. It made no difference to him who got hurt, or who was lost. Heck, he experimented on his own wife just to test a few chemicals!

He was tired of his people hanging onto to the darkness. He knew the only reason they let those Irken idiots conquer planets that was rightfully theirs was because they had been waiting. Waiting for the source.

The Vesen had technology that could make the Irkens bow their heads in shame. They had technology that could create storms, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, immense burning, and immense freezing. They were the fathers of destruction.

The only problem? They didn't have the power source.

Despite being such advanced scientists, the Vesen had one little requirement for these terrible machines to work.

They needed the Dark Source.

That was why they had held off their reign of terror for so long. None of their advanced technology would work without the darkest, most mysterious source in the universe.

For centuries, the Vesen had hidden themselves in their spacecraft, waiting desperately for their source to appear. Sure, there had been evil humans, Irkens, and whatever else was out there. But they weren't necessarily looking for evil. They were looking for dark and powerful. The most dark and powerful of them all.

And they had found it. Fourteen years ago, they found it.

(A/N: Sorry to interrupt the story, but for the following scene, I think the song "In the Dark of the Night" from Anastasia would fit the mood perfectly. If you have the song stashed away somewhere, I would listen to it while reading this.)

Vixen took a sip of his _cropjo_ while gazing into the computer screen. It was very sad. His baby Gaz was agreeing to a partnership with that _useless_ Irken. He thought she was stronger than that…

Groaning, he pressed the Photo button on his computer. With a quick flash, a photo of Zim and Gaz shaking hands flew out of his printer. Without a word, Vixen grabbed the picture and nailed it to his _Wall of Gazlene._

Ever since Gaz Membrane was a child, Vixen had been watching her. He had watched her, studied her, examined her personality, and obsessively took photo graphs of her. There was not a minute in her life where the young girl wasn't being watched.

In other words, Vixen was the biggest stalker alive.

Throughout the years of spying on his Dark Source, he had come to think of the human as his baby, his project, his toy. He was rather fond of her cruel nature, and it often impressed him how cold she was to those who were so open with her. It almost made him sad that he was going to have to kill her.

There were many ways to drain her of her darkness. Most of them were painful. Luckily they had a few draining guns and machines that did not need the Dark Source to power them up. Mostly because they had stolen them from other races. Being as sneaky as they were, they never got caught.

Sadly, once all the darkness was drained from the young girl, she would become nothing but an empty shell. An empty shell of her former self. It wouldn't be long before the poor girl just rot away from existence.

But that was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

With Gaz Membrane's dark aura, nothing would stop them from making slaves out of all the races.

Everything was working perfectly.

…Well, it was until today.

This…. _annoying, loud, incredibly stupid_ Irken wanted to take his baby Gaz to _his_ planet? To be inspected by those over-sized green beans? Although Irkens were incredibly useless in his eyes, they were exceedingly smarter than humans. It would be much harder to kidnap his Gaz if she was constantly hanging out on the planet full of walking celery!

Hm. Oddly enough, he _was_ going to be decent enough to let little Gaz live until her eighteenth birthday….but since she was now gaining allies, and the fact that the breakup of her family was probably increasing her dark aura, he supposed now was as good of time as any.

He actually couldn't wait meet her. She was so unique….oh, what amazing conversations they would have!

Before he drained her of course.

Grabbing his intercom, Vixen's husky voice rasped into it, "General, send some of our best soldiers to the planet 'Earth'. Tell them to search the planet for the Dark Source. They need to find her, and bring her to me. She'll be the scary human hanging out with the green kid. Don't kill her though…the draining will do that for us."

* * *

"All right, Gaz-beast. I understand you have been studying hard, and I know humans must eat every few hours. Therefore, I have decided to break my character, and prepare a nice 'dinner' for you," Zim announced as he walked into the living room, a tray covered in unidentified food in his hands.

Gaz slowly looked up from her book. The sight of the UFO (Unidentified Food Object) made her shudder. "Um…Zim? What exactly is this?"

Zim looked down at the food he ordered from _Bingo's_ (you didn't think he cooked it, did you?), and shrugged. "I just ordered whatever they offered me. It can't be worse than the usual garbage you eat."

"So much for breaking your character," Gaz said, rolling her eyes. "Why didn't you just get GIR to make me some food?"

"Because he wouldn't let go of your leg," Zim reminded her.

"Oh….yeah," the dark girl whispered. She nervously looked down at the little robot that had fallen asleep while clutching her leg. You can imagine the little bot's excitement when he discovered that Gaz would not only be teammates with them again, but be _living_ with them as well.

It started with confetti, and ended in mayonnaise on ceiling.

"I wonder how many times he's going to do that to me before I blow up?" Gaz muttered.

Zim rolled his eyes. "I don't know just…just eat your garbage!" he told her, setting the food down in front of her.

He had been right to call it garbage. It was nothing but huge, brown slime, with a few French fries, hamburger meats, and even scoops of ice cream sticking out of it. And she thought she saw an eyeball for a second there.

"You're not trying to poison me already, are you?" Gaz half-joked.

"What is wrong with it? It looks just like all the rest of the food filth of this planet!" Zim defended.

The pale girl rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. What planet do you live on?"

"Earth. What does that have to do with anything?" Zim asked, genuinely confused.

Gaz face palmed before looking down at the 'food'. She certainly didn't want to eat the trash in front of her, but she didn't want to starve either. Swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat, the dark girl grabbed what she hoped was a french fry, and threw it in her mouth. She hoped it wouldn't kill her.

It tried, but it didn't succeed.

Gaz began hacking on the evil that had slithered down her throat. "IT TASTES LIKE FART!" she screamed.

Zim hid a smirk. "And you know that how?"

"Next time, I'M ordering the food!"

"Fine by Zim," the alien shrugged. He turned to head out of the living room, but stopped as his partner called,

"Hey, why don't you take off your stupid disguise?"

Zim's head snapped back, as he sent her a dark glare. "Excuse me?"

"Just take it off," she told him. "It's not like I haven't seen you without it."

The alien gently touched his wig. "Why do you wish to see me without my glorious disguise?"

"Because as ugly as you are, you look better without the disguise," Gaz informed him.

"Zim is better looking that YOU, demon girl!" Zim shot back. "Zim shall have you know, that on HIS planet, he is considered-"

He was cut off as Gaz snatched the wig right off his head.

The little alien screamed in panic, clutching the top of his head. "NO! No, no, no, no! No pictures!"

It was these shouts that finally woke little GIR up. He let out a cute yawn. "…Where am I?"

Gaz sneered and threw the little robot off her ankle. "Get lost, GIR!" she screeched, watching the little bot fly into the kitchen.

"Aww….gravity don't like me!"

CRASH!

"Gravity and I made up!"

Zim took no notice of his robot's plight. He was too busy cowering from his new partner. She had _that_ look on her face. "PICTURES?" she screamed. "Are you saying you don't trust me? You think I'm planning on exposing you? You think I'm like my _brother?"_

"No! That is not what I meant!" Zim pleaded. To be honest, he wasn't sure. The only time someone asked him to take off his disguise was Dib, and that was only when he was trying to expose the alien. He never heard of the request otherwise. But he needed to say _something._ He couldn't have Gaz walk out on him again!

Gaz took a menacing step forward. "This partnership won't work without trust, Zim."

"I _do_ trust you!" the alien lied.

"Then take the disguise _off,"_ she growled.

"Uh…"

Before the green creature could say another word, Gaz had roughly ripped out one of his contacts, as if one was ripping off a Band-Aid.

"AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH! SWEET MOMMA, THAT HURT!" Zim bellowed.

"Why are all boys such wimps?" Gaz groaned. Swiftly, she grabbed his right contact, but this time _gently_ tugged it off. "I saw you two nights ago without your disguise, why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

" _ME?_ You're the one who just ripped the contacts out of my eyeballs!" Zim argued.

Gaz shrugged an inpatient shrug. "I just think you look better without them. With them on, you look so fake! Without them….don't get me wrong, you're ugly…..but, you're also kinda cool looking."

Zim paused, trying to think of a clever retort. Hopefully something that could make her eat her words. Something that would make her treat him with respect. Something that would make her start sobbing like the weak human she was!

"…Really?"

Ooh, burn.

Gaz shrugged. "Yeah…I mean….your eyes…they're kinda neat." She really didn't know why she was telling him this….maybe because she felt a _little_ guilty for ripping out his contacts. Not only was it painful, but it was invading his privacy.

"Oh…" Zim muttered. After his anger and pain had blown over, his brain established the fact that the Dib-sister had just complimented him. It wasn't _much_ of a compliment, but it was still there…and it was rather unexpected.

What should he say next? Compliment her back? Ew. Nothing in her physical appearance appealed to him. Should he make a clever comeback? No, that wouldn't be right. Grr, he wasn't used to receiving praise! Usually he only received compliments from himself! What was he supposed to say to her?

His swelling eyes roamed over to where Gaz had been sitting moments ago.

 _Now_ he knew what to say.

"Hey!" Zim screeched, walking over to the book.

"What's wrong?" Gaz asked, wondering what his problem was.

The green alien angrily took a small book that was cleverly placed over the Irken pages. It was Gameslave cheat book. "Um, what is this?" he asked.

"…Entertainment?" the dark girl suggested, her voice deadpan.

"YOU SPENT THE LAST THREE HOURS READING THIS GARBAGE?" Zim bellowed.

"I read garbage!" GIR called from the kitchen.

"Your book bores me," Gaz told him, simply.

Infuriated, Zim crumbled the paper book into a ball. "Do you NOT understand the gravity of the situation we are in? DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?"

Gaz opened her mouth to speak.

"NEVER MIND!" Zim snarled. He anxiously toyed with the paper in his hands, trying to restrain himself from shooting the girl in front of him. "Tell me, Gaz-beast," Zim said calmly, "How long did you think you had before I realized you weren't really studying?"

"I made it for three hours, didn't I?"

"Are you not taking this seriously?" Zim questioned. "I thought you wanted to take over the world!"

"I do, but why do I have to read that dumb book to blow stuff up?" Gaz asked, enjoying their little back and forth.

"Because even if you _d_ o take over the world, you cannot keep the planet unless the Tallest say so! And they shall not let you keep it, unless you are a member of the Irken tribe! And you cannot be a member of the Irken tribe unless you know what is in this book!"

"It's _my_ planet! I can have it if I want!" Gaz argued.

Zim rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. "Irk, you are such a brat!"

"Yeah? And you're ugly! And your eyes aren't that great either!" the dark girl snorted.

"Why? Why are you being such a pain in the rump?" Zim pleaded. "I hate you for actually making me pity Dib for living with you!"

"Looks like I'm _your_ problem now, huh?" she muttered.

"Indeed," the green alien nodded. "Well Dib-sister, it is getting late. Tomorrow is the day of Saturday. We shall have the whole day to train and study… and hopefully my headache will be gone by then. I shall see you in the morning." He turned to leave.

"Wait! Where's my room?" Gaz stopped him.

Zim turned back around. "What room?"

"I'm going to be living here, right? I need my own room! You know? A bed and all?" The alien was out of his mind if he thought she was going to live here without a room.

Zim sighed. "I just found out today that you would be living with me. How could I have prepared a proper room since then?"

The purple haired girl growled. "Well then, where am I going to sleep?"

"On the couch, where do you think?" the alien scoffed. Seemingly out of thin air, Zim threw a pillow and a blanket at her. "Sweet dreams, human!"

Gaz fluffed up her pillow. "Fine, I'll sleep on the couch. But you better get me a room soon Zim!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the alien sighed. He then made his way to his toilet chute and pulled the chain. In another instant, he was gone.

Gaz angrily pounded her pillow and laid her head down. _He's never going to get me a room,_ she thought to herself. _He doesn't care about me. He just needs to me to get out of trouble with his stupid leaders. Well…that's fine with me. I'm not here to make a friend. I'm here to destroy humanity. And NOTHING is going to stand in the way of that. My father and Dib are going to pay._

"GOOD-NIGHT GAZZY!"

"ZIM! TAKE YOUR STUPID ROBOT WITH YOU!"


	5. Dognapped

You know that feeling you get when you're nestled comfortably in your bed, dreaming your special dreams about meeting your idol, or conquering your foes, but just as it's getting to the good part, the sun will peek through your curtains, burning your dream away? It's the second most annoying way to wake up.

Because the first most annoying way is to find an annoying, little robot breathing on your face, while standing on your stomach. It was a horrible way to wake up from a bad dream. If someone offered to knock Gaz out with a bat so she could fall back into her nightmare, she would have taken the bat and done it herself.

"GAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZYYYYYYY!" GIR screeched in her ear.

Gaz ground her teeth together and pulled her pillow over her head. "ZIM! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TAKE YOUR STUPID ROBOT!"

She didn't get an answer.

Figures.

As if he had somehow found the power to become more hyper, GIR began bouncing up and down on her stomach and screamed, "I WAS WATCHIN' YOU SLEEP! YOU WAS LIKE AN ANGEL!"

Gaz slowly removed her pillow and scowled at the tiny bot. "GIR, it would be very unfortunate if Zim came in here to find a pile of metal where his robot should be. So I suggest you get off me before I do something I _might_ later regret."

GIR stared at her blankly. For a minute, Gaz wondered if she had actually hurt the little guys feeling. Funny how she was perfectly okay with ripping him to shreds, but not so much with crushing his spirit. Her theory proved to be wrong however, as the small robot suddenly broke into a fit of laughter, pinched her nose, and moved her head back and forth.

"HONKITY-HONKITY-HONK!" he screeched.

Grabbing the annoying robot's hand, Gaz said, "GIR…we're friends now, right?"

GIR grinned a wide grin and cried, "WE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEST FRIENDS….well, except for Pig…BEEEEEEEEEEEST FRIENDS!"

Gaz held back some vomit. "Well, friends help each other out, and I'm really hungry….How about making me some breakfast?"

Now, let us take a moment to see what was going through the robot's mind as his soon as those words left the girl's mouth. GIR already loved Gaz. He found her pretty, funny, and sweet. He went delirious with joy when he discovered she would be living with them. His master – who he loved oh so dearly- and Gazzy- his favorite human- would be living with him! Together! They were going to have so much fun! He was already overjoyed to be working with his master, and now he would be serving them _both!_ And now…..now his new mistress wanted him to make her some _breakfast._ Life was good to him.

Gaz tilted her head as a ray of sunshine peeked through the window and shone on little GIR like a spotlight. If she listened closely, she could've sworn she heard….what, angels? Singing? Huh…

Tears of joy leaked through the small bot's eyes. "I….will make you… the best waffles….EVAAAAAAAAA! I love you."

Gaz nervously shook her head, as the innocent robot jumped off her to head for the kitchen. She groaned and tried to straighten out her dress. _I wonder what Dib is doing….does he even know that I'm gone? Probably not. Well…he'll find out where I am soon enough. He can't stay away from Zim forever. And when he finds out, he'll be begging me to come back, but it'll be too late…I'm on the alien's side now….what's he called again? An Irken? That's an appropriate name…_

The dark girl's thoughts were interrupted as she heard an elevator rise from behind her. She sighed. _I handled one pest, now I have to handle the other…_

She watched as Zim walked into the living room, wearing his disguise. She felt her eye twitch as he pulled out a can of _Kleening Spray_ and began squirting the substance in the air, all while having one of his annual spaz attacks.

"Doh! Filthy human air! Must make clean, must make CLEAN!" he screeched.

"Good morning to you too, _Zimmy,"_ Gaz growled, putting emphasis on the nickname he despised.

Zim stared at her for a minute, his eye twitching. After a few moments of silence, he sprayed her in the face.

Gaz erupted in a coughing fit, before grabbing Zim by the front of his shirt. "What was _that_ for?"

The Irken stuck out his bottom lip and said, "I saw a germ on your face….or maybe it was just your nose."

Gaz felt her purple rage flare up from deep inside her. _"Do you feel like dying today?"_

"I fear germs more than I fear your rage!" Zim frowned at her.

The dark girl quickly grabbed his neck.

The alien tried to gulp, but couldn't due to the situation he was in. "Okay! I fear you both equally!"

Gaz sighed slowly, and then punched her new partner in the eye. She watched in pleasure as he curled up in a ball. "To be fair, you were asking for it."

Zim groaned and tried to lift his head. "We will get nowhere…if we abuse one another!"

"I'm not concerned about _my_ safety Zim, but you're in for a painful experience if you think you can get away with making fun of me!" Gaz warned.

The Irken groaned. He had hoped to get back at the sister of Dib for wasting valuable time last night. Unfortunately, he hadn't thought his plan through which resulted in the situation he was in now. He….hadn't even thought of a way to get revenge. He had just been trying to clean the air of the human _filth,_ and he had found a perfect opportunity to dis her. Now, lying on the floor, holding his swelling eye….he decided to let bygones be bygones….because he was just _so_ forgiving.

Scrambling to his feet, Zim gave his eye one last rub before shouting, "GIR! Where are you?"

"I'M MAKING WAFFLES!" came a voice from the kitchen. "WAFFLES FOR THE LADY!"

"You're making the Gaz-human waffles?" Zim pondered. Slowly, an evil smile spread over his lips. " _Perfect."_ His horrible partner was going to eat one of GIR's waffles? With Irk knows what inside? Oh, he couldn't wait to see her spill her earthly guts!

Gaz didn't notice his smile. "What do you need GIR for?" she asked, not truly caring.

Zim gave a small smirk and said, "He's part of our first mission."

The dark girl sat up at this. "W-What?"

"FLYING WAFFLE!" GIR cried, as a waffle was chucked in Gaz's direction. Much to Zim's surprise, the girl caught it in her hand with ease.

"So…we're really going on a mission?" she asked, trying hard not to look excited. _Finally_ they were getting somewhere!

"Indeed we are! This mission will be part of your training, as well as making progress to our ultimate mission!" He tried to hide a grin as Gaz slowly took a bite of her waffle.

The girl munched on her food quietly, and said, "So…what exactly are we doing?"

Zim waited for her to vomit, but she didn't. Groaning in frustration, he said, "It's…uh…it's…going to…be…uh…," his words droned on and on as he waited for her to humiliate herself. What wasn't she in _pain?_

"Spit it out already Zim!" she growled.

Zim finally hung his head in disappointment. "Well..uh.."

"DAH!"

He raised his head just in time to see her grab her neck, and start coughing up her lungs. "WHA-WHAT'S _IN_ THIS?"

Zim grinned a toothy grin as she continued coughing. Finally! The human got what she deserved! "You don't look so well, Dib-sister."

Gaz suddenly fell on the floor and clutched her stomach. " _Wha…What…was…was in…that waffle?"_

"DOES SHE LIKE THEM? I BET SHE LIKES THEM!" GIR cried from the kitchen.

The Irken gave a small shrug and said, "Who knows when it comes to GIR's cooking?" Every cough coming from the girl was like music to his antennas. And he was enjoying being obnoxious. " _Maybe_ if you had treated me with more respect, I would have warned you, but now-"his words cut off as he noticed something dripping down from the corners of the human's mouth. What was it? What that… _blood_?

Zim's eyes widened. "Um..Gaz-human?"

Now she was staring to cough up the blood. Slowly, she raised her head to Zim and whispered, " _Zim…I'm…."_ Finally, she collapsed on the floor, her hair dishelmed.

Zim's mouth dropped open. _Had he just man-slaughtered his partner?_ He couldn't have! She couldn't be dead! Who would he present to his Tallest? "Gaz-human!" Zim cried and knelt down beside her. "Little Gaz! Awaken!"

She didn't answer.

Zim groaned and shouted over his shoulder. "Nice work, GIR! You killed the human!"

"Aw darn…." was the reply.

Fidgeting a bit, Zim slowly turned the human over….only to have her blood squirt in his face. "DOH! Wrong on SO many levels!"

Gaz slowly opened on eye and smiled. "Ha! How do ya like them apples?"

Zim quickly rubbed the blood off his face and growled. "But-? How did you-?"

The pale girl reached into her mouth and pulled out a ketchup pack. "Apparently this was in that waffle I ate. As soon as I tasted it, I knew you were keeping GIR's 'cooking skills' a secret from me. Made you think it was blood, didn't I?"

Zim couldn't believe it. The human had gotten the best of him. _Again._ He had never loathed her more. "But-I-you-he-you!" he sputtered.

"Better luck next time, alien," she smirked. "But getting back to business, were you serious about the mission?"

Zim scowled at her but said, "Yes, we do have a mission. One of great importance. One we must do every day."

Gaz smiled. "Cool. What're we doing?"

* * *

"WALKING GIR? THAT'S the mission?" Gaz screeched as she and Zim walked down the sidewalk.

"Hey, it's what normal people do! Besides, if we do not take GIR out for his annual walk, he will make an 'uh-oh' on the rug!" Zim defended.

"GIR can poop?" Gaz asked.

Zim nodded grimly. "Yeeeeessss…and what a stinky substance it is!"

"MY STINKIES NEED TO BE RELEASED!" GIR shouted.

Gaz shook her head. "Okay subject change, when are we going to do a _real_ mission?"

Zim gave a slight smirk. "Obviously you have not smelled the kaka of GIR. This _is_ a real mission!"

"I mean like a fighting mission! You know? When are we going to hurt somebody?" Gaz asked.

"As soon as you have received enough training, Gaz-beast," Zim informed. "I spent fifty years training to become an invader! You think you can just go shooting people all will-nilly? Foolish girl."

"But isn't that what you do?"

"YES! BUT ZIM HAS A LISCENCE FOR IT!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "I just really want to shoot Dib already!"

Zim smiled and fiddled with GIR's leash. "No argument there. Tell you what human, once your training is complete, the Dib-monster will be our first victim."

Gaz opened her eyes. "You promise?"

The Irken nodded. "Just start thinking up ways to destroy him."

"I was thinking we could blow up his giant head!" Gaz suggested.

"First, we must fill his head with dooky, _and then_ we will blow it up!" Zim added.

"After we eat the rest of his haunted gummy bear collection! _That_ will set him straight!" his partner smirked.

"He has a haunted gummy bear collection?"

"They're one of his most prized possessions. We hurt them, we hurt him."

"I see…anything else?"

"He has a pink cat named Milkshake. He hides it under his bed."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"How shall we dispose of the vermin?"

"I say we shave him."

"Or should we melt him?"

"Maybe pluck out his nose hairs?"

"Experiment on him?"

"Squirt soap in his eyes?"

"Run him over with the voot?"

"Yeah….wait. Are we talking about the cat or Dib?"

The two partners paused, exchanged a glance, and burst out into maniacal laughter. Zim was laughing so hard, he didn't seem to notice (or mind) that Gaz was holding onto his shoulder for support. But the girl had her own thoughts going on. _Wait…am I laughing? I never laugh! But…who knew Zim was so diabolical? With our minds combined, we can bring Dib to his knees! And…he's actually listening to me…no one ever listens to me…..THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE HIM THOUGH!_

"Ahem!"

The two partners looked up to see a giant truck parked right beside them. A human with a giant zit on his forehead was looking down at them. He had sandy blond hair that covered his eyes, and was wearing a _Red Sox_ sweater. "I hate to interrupt your evil laughter, but I'm gonna need to see some paperwork."

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Uh…did we do something illegal?"

The man- he looked about seventeen- rubbed his zit. "Well…you tell me lil' missy! _Are_ you doing something illegal?"

"Who are you? The sheep people?" Zim accused.

"What?" the man groaned.

"Yeah, what?" Gaz repeated.

Zim gave an innocent shrug. "You know, the sheep! Those fat humans that ride around in those blinking auto mobiles! They are constantly eating the donuts, and they always scream, "Put your hands in the air!" he said, while making a gun motion with his fingers.

Gaz frowned. "Uh…are you talking about the police?"

Zim turned his gaze towards her. "Who are they?"

"The police. They patrol the city. Do pretty much what you just described."

"Oh…maybe I _am_ thinking about them."

"How did you get 'sheep' from 'police'?"

"Perhaps I misheard GIR…"

"A-HEM!" the annoying human interrupted. Once he had their attention, he said, "I'm not the police morons, I'm not even fat!"

"Unless you count your humongous zit," Gaz pointed out, causing Zim to stifle a giggle.

The man blinked a few times before asking, "What zit? Ah, never mind. Let me see your license!"

"We're not driving, moron," the pale girl growled.

"Not for you guys! The dog!" he cried, pointing towards GIR, who was currently rolling in the grass.

"Foolish human!" Zim frowned. "Why does my dog need a license? He cannot drive! Because he is normal! Normal dogs don't drive! HE'S NORMAL!"

"Dude, I need to see his dog license!" the man frowned.

"And why do you need to see it exactly?" Gaz questioned.

The man pointed to the back of his van. "Read it and weep, kids!"

Zim and Gaz then turned their heads exactly sixty degrees west to read the label on the van.

**DOG CATCHER. HAVE A LISCENCE OF KISS YOUR MUTT GOOD-BYE!**

"You'd think we would have seen that," Gaz stated.

"I'm not kissing GIR," Zim frowned.

"Well, do you have a dog license?" his partner asked.

"This is stupid! GIR. CAN'T. DRIVE!" Zim shouted.

Gaz slapped her forehead in exasperation, and said to the dog catcher. "What exactly do you do to the dogs you capture?"

The man gave her a wicked grin and began rubbing his hands together. "Oh that's a secret my dear, that's a secret! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Gaz, getting a little freaked out by his sudden change in mood, took a few steps back. "Um…Zim? He's putting on a bad impression of an evil scientist laugh. That's never a good sign. Just give him the license."

"I don't _have_ a license!" he hissed at her.

"…Aw crud," the girl whispered.

"Well then," the man said before pulling out a giant net. "I suppose I'll just have to take your dog to the POUND!"

Zim's eyes widened. "WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO- hey, what's the pound?"

"Dog jail, basically," the man said, nonchalantly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- do they have bathroom privileges?"

"No."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-hey, how about-"but his words were cut off as Gaz slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Shut it, Zim," she warned. Then turning her attention to the dog catcher she said, "You're not taking our dog, zit face!"

The man smirked and held up his net. "Uh, I just did." Sure enough, GIR was now trapped inside the ugly man's net.

Both Gaz and Zim's heads shot back to the spot where GIR had just been playing. There was nothing but a bunch of broken leaves now.

"What the-?" Gaz screeched.

"How did you-?" Zim added.

"Eh, I've got mad skillz!" the human grinned.

"M-Master?" GIR whimpered. "I no like it in here!"

"Let him go!" Gaz glared. "Don't make me send you into a nightmare world!"

"Girl, I already live in a nightmare world!" he frowned. Pulling GIR into his van, he called, "Well, have a pleasant day!"

"HEY!" they both cried in unison, as the van drove off.

"THAT HUMAN JUST STOLE MY ROBOT!" Zim screamed. "Quickly Dib-sister! Get on my back!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"JUST GET ON!"

Swallowing her pride for GIR's sake, she climbed onto his back. "Okay, now what's the point of- OH JEEZ!" The girl had to swallow her words as long, metal, spider-legs crawled out of her partners' PAK, lifting them up at least twenty feet into the air.

Gaz desperately locked her arms around Zim's neck. "Zim! Someone will see you!"

But Zim didn't seem to hear her, as he charged after the van. He dodged as many humans as he could, while simply pushing away others. Gaz felt like she was going to toss her cookies.

The humans below him were not happy either. The all shouted their protests of Zim's giant spider legs for crushing their property as well as their bodies.

"Hey watch it!"

"That was my bike!"

"Jerk!"

"Watch for traffic!"

"The sheep people will get you for this!"

"Dude, you squished my leg! That's so rude!"

"Um…Zim?" Gaz whispered. "You know you're hurting people?"

"Point?"

"Just making sure you know."

"I do not care how many humans I must crush!" he shouted, turning his head towards Gaz. "That _filthy_ human of _filthiness_ is not going to steal my SIR unit!"

"Zim, telephone wires!"

The Irken rolled his eyes. "If I don't care about hitting the humans, why would I care about hitting-"

**ZAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!**

"Oh…that's why…" a very burnt Zim moaned. After coughing up some smoke, his legs toppled over, causing him and his partner into the dirt.

Gaz felt a wave of electricity rush through her body as she whispered, "….Zim?"

"..Yeah?"

"….I hate you."

"Yeah…I know…" The Irken slowly lifted his head to see the dog catcher's van disappear from sight. Finding the power to scream, he bellowed, "GIR! RELEASE YOUR STINKIES IN HIS AUTOMOBILE! RELEASE YOUR STINKIEEEEEEEEEES!"

"Shut up!" Gaz warned.

* * *

"Luckily GIR has a chip in him that allows me to know where he is at all times. Never thought the day would come where I would willingly use this!"

Gaz sighed and continued to try to straighten out her hair. She had been surprised when Zim took her down into his lower base, especially after what had happened a few days ago. He must really want to find GIR.

"I can't believe you didn't get GIR a license!" she growled.

"How was I supposed to know humans let their pets drive?" the Irken scowled.

Gaz rolled her eyes at his dumb comment. She walked over to the screen he was typing on and said, "Can the chip tell us if he's in one peace?"

"It can't tell whether he's in put together or not, but it would stop working all together if he was destroyed, so..." Zim droned.

"So you can tell if he's dead, but not if he's injured?' Gaz asked, looking over his shoulder.

"What are you so concerned about?" Zim asked, finally looking at her.

"Zim, did you not see the bad impression of a mad scientist? That guy's nuts! Who knows what he'll do to GIR!" the girl warned him.

Zim seemed to ponder this. "Yes...I do see your point. If they perform experiments on him, they may discover that he is a robot! I'll be exposed!" Quickly, he started typing things into his computer, desperate to find his robot.

"Gee…I hope the little guy is okay," Gaz whispered. And to her surprise, she discovered she actually _cared_ about GIR's well-being. He was so innocent….it pained her to think of the little locked up somewhere, having to endure God knows what. It had been so long since she felt sympathy for _anyone._ …It kinda freaked her out.

"I know! He's precious Irken technology! I'll never be able to get another!" Zim moaned.

Gaz's mouth dropped open in shock. "I can't believe you! Aren't you a _little_ concerned about GIR?" If _she_ was, than her _partner_ obviously should! _She_ was supposed to be the unfeeling one! And how long had GIR and Zim known each other? Four years? He had to care for him a _bit_!

"I just said I was!" Zim shrugged.

"I mean, don't you _care_ about him?" she growled.

The invader paused, looked at her sour expression, and then threw back his head in laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH! For such an emotionless human, you sure are a riot!"

"I wasn't joking! You saw that guy, he was crazy! Who knows what he'll do to your robot?"

Zim turned to look at her. "Wait…are you saying _you_ care about him?"

Gaz shook her head. "No. I don't. But that doesn't mean I want to see the little guy get torn to pieces!"

"So if _you_ don't care about him, why should _I?"_ Zim frowned.

"Because you two have been through EVERYTHING together!" Gaz lectured. She didn't know why this bugged her so much. Maybe because she felt like Zim's relationship with GIR was the only sign of him having a heart. (Not technically, of course) And why did she care about that? Maybe because she wanted proof he wasn't as shallow as he appeared to be. And why did she care- we're just going to stop there, because this can easily turn into a never-ending cycle. The point is she just CARED. Somehow.

"News flash human: Invaders need no one. NO ONE!" he bellowed.

Gaz paused at this. "No one?" she whispered.

Zim rolled his ruby eyes. "See, this is why I often repeat myself. Yes, NO ONE!"

"Sounds lonely," the dark girl whispered.

"Try 'independent,'" Zim sniffed.

"But _I'm_ independent, and even _I_ need someone," Gaz blurted out.

The invader blinked a few times. "What?" His mind could only repeat his words. _What?_

Gaz's eyes widened a bit, and she quickly said, "Forget what I said or die. Now track down GIR!" That being ordered, the pale girl made her way to the other side of the base.

Zim watched her go with a blank expression. He shook his head slightly. _Just when I thought I knew everything I needed to know about this human._ He thought.


	6. A Rescue and a Confession

_BAM!_

_The slayer was sent crashing into a wall, causing most of it to become rubble. Wiping some blood from his mouth, he stood up and pointed his sword at his enemies. "You are foolish if you think such a meager attack will stop me!"_

_He watched as a swarm of pink, flaming, blood-sucking monsters floated up in his presence. Unable to speak, they merely hissed at his bravery._

_The slayer smirked, pointed his sword at the monster, and screamed, "FIRE STREAM"! In another instant, a ray of ember poured out of his blade, turning them all into crispy pieces of bacon. Yummy._

_The slayer chuckled darkly. "Ignorant monsters. To think you can stop-"His words were cut off as another swarm of the monsters rose up from behind a cliff, hungrier than the last batch._

_The hero's eyes widened as the amount of monsters grew by the second. But still, he held his ground. He would not be frightened away. He lifted his sword above his head and released a battle cry. He then stormed into the sea of monsters, watering the plants with their blood._

"DIB-SISTER!"

_He could feel a strange disturbance in the atmosphere, but he ignored it. He had more important things to deal with. Like the team of blood-suckers gaining on him, for example. Charging up his sword, he pointed his deadly weapon towards his enemies, and ripped them apart with multiple streams of light._

"Hello? HEY! GAZ-HUMAN!"

_SLICE!_

_The blasted annoyance caused the hero to be attacked from behind, making him lose his composure. "Ah!" he cried in pain. Shaking his pain off, the slayer raised his sword and cried, "EXCALIBAR!"_

_ZAP!_

_Another instant and the monsters were gone. The warrior allowed himself to take a deep breath after releasing such awesomeness. He soaked in the smell of their blood, as well the scent and feel of his adrenaline._

" _ **RRRRRRRRRRR…."**_

_The slayer's head shot up as he heard a sound that resembled quite a bit like thunder. He barely managed to stand his ground as the earth began to shake with a violent force. Taking heavy breaths, the slayer turned his head to face the source of this disturbance._

_And what a disturbance it was._

_For now rising over the treacherous cliff, was one of those pink, flaming monsters…..but this one was over 200 feet wide._

_But the slayer was unafraid._

" _ **RAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"**_ _the giant monster bellowed._

_The hero raised his sword to the monster. "I fear you not. With this sword, I shall vanquish your kind, and storm your domain! You people killed my family, now I shall kill every one of you! Nothing will stand in my way, because I-"_

"HEY! GAZ-HUMAN! HEY! HEY! HELLO! DIB-SISTER! HEY! HEY! HUMAN! HUMAN GIRL! HEY! HELLLLLOOOOOO!"

Gaz felt her rage flare up in her chest. Apparently ignoring Zim was not going to make him shut up. Reluctantly, she paused her game and hopped off her seat. "Zim, this had better be good!"

The arrogant alien was frowning at her from his computer. "I called you like, a bazillion times! _Must_ you spend every second of your useless life playing that worthless game?"

Gaz frowned. "Hey! I haven't played my game in almost two days! That's disgusting!"

Zim glared at her, as he made his way in her direction. "The reason I was trying to get your limited attention, is because I was able to locate GIR's whereabouts."

Gaz opened her eyes slightly. "Really?"

Zim didn't answer her. Instead he quickly snatched the game out of his partner's hands, and began examining it. "What is the title of this putrid game anyway? ' _Vampire_ _Piggy Slayer'_?"

The pale girl's eyes widened to their full extent. Now, she already didn't like Zim. And spending all this time together was not really bringing them closer. He had dissed her, he had called her his servant, he had yanked her hair, he had tried to poison her, and he had electrocuted her. All those things she eventually let pass….but now….he had done the unforgivable.

The fool had touched her Gameslave.

Oh, he gon' gettit _nah._

Fists shaking, the small girl jumped on the alien, and began to wrap her small hand around his throat. "Give it back, Zim. Give it back _n_ ow," she said, her voice surprisingly calm.

Of course, Zim was perfectly aware how powerful the girl on top of him was, but his pride would never allow him to succumb to her wishes. _He_ was the supreme one! He was more intelligent, braver, and more mature, certainly! So, he pulled the game to his chest, shook his head back and forth, and said, "Nu-uh!" Then he blew a raspberry at her, like the real man that he was!

His tongue dried up instantly as Gaz's body began to glow purple. She ground her teeth together as her hair began to stand straight up, crackling like a whip.

Zim's eyes widened at the sight of this. "….Non-existent Mommy…."

" _Uh…Zim? I would give her back her toy if I were you,"_ the computer warned.

The alien gulped, but said, "I…I'm not scared of her!"

Gaz opened her eyes to reveal blood red pupils. She bared back her teeth and let out a low hiss.

Zim's antennas drooped. "But since I'm just SO generous," he squeaked, and quickly handed the game to the girl.

And just like that, Gaz was back to her average level of creepy. Calmly, she took the game and removed herself from Zim's squeedily-spooch.

Shaking, the alien climbed back to his feet and dusted off his shirt. "Stupid human…." He grumbled, hating that she had, for the umpteenth time, gotten the best of him. He knew he was better than this human, so why did she always find a way to make him look like a fool?

" _It appears the less evolved specimen managed to take the ego and the power of the superior, and use it as her own,"_ the computer stated.

Zim blinked. "What?"

" _She pawned you man."_

"Hey!"

Gaz didn't appear to be listening to the computer. "So….?"

"So _what_?" Zim said, harshly.

Gaz frowned. "So where's GIR?"

The alien sniffed and walked (marched really) back to his computer. "I have spent the past hour tracking down his coordinates from the chip I planted in him. I just hope it's right, and he didn't throw it away."

There was a moment of silence.

Zim looked at Gaz with a frustrated look. "Well?"

Gaz frowned back. "Well what?"

The alien sighed. "Aren't you going to ask _why_ he would throw it away?"

The girl shrugged. "Probably so he could…I don't know….make room for some food?"

Zim stared at her.

She stared back.

"What kind of food?" the alien whispered.

"Um…probably a cupcake," she answered.

Zim groaned. "Er, how do _you_ that?"

Gaz shrugged. "He's just that predictable. I mean, I can tell just by looking at him that GIR puts his personal items in his head. He'll take out anything that seems boring to him, and replace it with things he likes." Here she gave a small smile. "Heh, let's just hope you never upgrade his guidance system with a chip, and then get as lost as you can in the city."

Zim's bottom lip quivered a bit.

Gaz slowly opened one eye. "Oh no…Zim, you moron….."

" _Would you like some ice for that burn, Zim?"_ the computer chuckled.

The alien was about to make a sharp retort, but then finally said, "Yes please." In another instant, he was handed a back of ice.

Gaz shook her head. "Putting your stupidity aside, why did it take so long for you to find him?"

Zim placed the bag of ice on his head, and said, "Simply put, I had trouble determining exactly where the chip's signal was coming from. I discovered the building he's held in a long time ago, but I was unable to decipher then name of the building until recently."

The pale girl raised an eyebrow. "….And?"

Zim gave her a proud smile. "He's being held in….THE POUND!"

Gaz began twitching all over. "WHAT? I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT, YOU IDIOT!"

Zim crossed his arms. "Well, why didn't _you_ , you USELESS HUMAN?"

The girl slapped her forehead. "He _said_ he was taking GIR to the pound! Remember when you asked if it had bathroom privileges? I can't believe you just spent an hour going over what I already knew! Uh, you were supposed to find out _which_ pound he was being held in!"

"I _did_!" Zim snapped. "He's in the one at the corner of _Syko_ and _Maniak!_ " He pointed a shaking finger at the screen, wanting her to eat (and choke on) her words.

Gaz frowned at him before taking a look at the screen. "Hm…..' _Syko_ and _Maniak'_? I think I know that street. That's where I go to get my hair done!"

Zim slowly lowered his arm and gave her a blank stare.

The girl met his gaze. "What? Creepy open-jaw hair like this doesn't just _happen."_

Zim gave a small smirk. "Zim didn't think getting your hair done was in your system."

"Oh, don't act like you don't go to get your antennas straightened!" she retorted.

After a stifled snort was heard from the computer, Zim began to sputter. "Psssh! I..I-I…I'm not…..it-it's not…..I mean….how?" he hissed the last part.

Gaz shrugged. "You're just as predictable as your robot."

" _What's his shoe size?"_

"COMPUTER!" Zim bellowed.

Gaz looked down at her partner's dainty feet. "Uh, I'm guessing he's a size two…two and a half maybe…?"

"FALSE!" the alien shouted. "Now, get into the Voot, PLEASE!"

Knowing she had gotten the better of him _again,_ she smugly made her way to the alien's ship.

As soon as she left the room, Zim announced, "COMPUTER! Determine my shoe size."

The computer sighed before running a scanner over its master's feet. "You're a two and a half, Zim."

"CURSES!"

* * *

**One Voot trip to the pound later….**

"…..There!" Zim grinned, pointing to the left tunnel. "This one leads to the jail cells. I am certain of it!"

Gaz groaned. "Remind me again why we're in an air vent? I mean, this seems a little cliché."

Zim smirked. "Cliché…..or classic?"

"Cliché."

"Liar."

"Zim, we didn't need to go through the freakin' air vent! Why didn't we just use the front door?" Gaz growled.

"The humans will be expecting that! We must find their base if we wish to retrieve GIR," he answered.

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Zim, we don't know for a fact GIR is in any danger. This could just be a regular pound with a crazy guy running it."

Zim shook his head. "Please, any man, human or not, who drives around taking other human's dogs is just not healthy!"

"Oh, like you know what _healthy_ is."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"We're crawling through a filthy air vent, trying to bust GIR out of the pound, when all you have to do is _buy a license_ and pick him up!" Gaz told him.

"Yes, but then I would have to fill in a bunch of paper work with a bunch of nosy questions…..yeah, this is easier," Zim informed her.

Gaz groaned in disgust. "Okay fine. But we better find him soon. I'm getting really tired of staring at your butt."

Zim was surprised to find his blood rushing to his face at her statement. He hadn't considered the fact that his partner was probably making good friends with his rear end. Chuckling nervously, the invader was about to make a comment, maybe even apologize for the predicament, but didn't get a chance to. For at that moment, the grating underneath the alien gave away, causing him to fall into the room below him.

"OH IRRRRRKKKKK!"

**CRASH!**

Gaz watched him crash with a blank look on her face. "I could just walk away…," she muttered to herself, "….but then I wouldn't get to do this!" Grunting, she jumped down the hole that was left by her partner.

**CRUNCH!**

"OW!"

"Sorry," Gaz said smugly, as she climbed of her partner's head. "At least I missed your PAK, right?" she asked, remembering the sate he was in when he had lost it four years ago.

Zim stood up and brushed himself off. "I don't think even that large rear of yours could smash my PAK, filthy human."

Gaz was about to make a comment, but her surroundings pulled her interest away from him. She raised an eyebrow at wall of cages, lined up around her and her partner. The smell of hair and dog pellets littered the air. "Hm…I think we're here, Zim."

The alien smirked, and began to walk ahead of her. "HA! Did I not tell you that this was the best route? Now all we need to do is find GIR's cell, break him out, and then-"

_Squish_

Zim abruptly paused his rambling, as he felt his size two and a half boots connect with something soft and stinky. "What in the name of Irk am I standing in?" he muttered.

Gaz stifled a giggle. "A little gift from the residents here," she chuckled.

Zim groaned, as he began scraping his boots along the ground. "That's just…come on! I mean, for real?"

The pale girl shook her head in endearment. The weird alien sure knew how to get under her skin, but he knew how to humor her as well. She turned back to the cages in wonder. Something wasn't right about this…it was too quiet in here. Weren't pounds supposed to be loud? Weren't pounds supposed to….. _have dogs?_

"Zim!" she called to him.

"What?" he grumbled, still scraping his boots.

"Where are all the dogs?"

The alien finally stopped looking at his shoes, and turned his gaze towards the cages. Sure enough, there wasn't a single canine, dog, or mutt to be seen. "Well…how should I know?" he finally snapped.

"That was rhetorical, Zim," Gaz informed. She silently pulled some of her violet hair off her face before saying, "What's the point of having a pound with no dogs?"

Zim shrugged. "I don't know, nor do I truly care. My SIR unit is in here, and that's all that matters."

Gaz nodded. "Yeah, you're right," she said, agreeing with him for the first time since they met. "I wonder where they're keeping him, if not in a cage?"

The alien boy rolled his eyes. "What I want to know is why they make the useless 'pets' on this planet prisoners?"

"Be quiet!"

"Oh come on, you _have_ to agree with m-"

"No, concentrate! Can you smell that?"

Zim frowned. "Yes, Dib-sister. I smell it, and I feel it stuck under my predictably sized boots!"

Gaz quickly shook her head. "No, not that! I mean, don't you smell something…..spicy?"

The alien closed his eyes, and tried to concentrate on a scent other than the dog stinkies. He was about to announce the human beside him crazy, but then something spicy smelling _did_ catch his attention. Something….familiar.

"Hm….," Zim pondered. "It smells like…."

"….Tacos?" Gaz finished for him.

Suddenly their eyes widened to their full extents.

"GIR!" they shouted in unison.

Zim pointed down the hallway. "Quick! Follow the scent of the spicy, hard-shelled, Russian lunch!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Uh…tacos are from Mexico."

"….LIAR!"

The dark girl rolled her eyes, and ran up ahead. "Let's just go!"

"Hey, wait for Zim!"

"Always," he heard her call.

* * *

"Oh my…"

"…No way."

The two partners gaped at the sight before them. At the end of this tunnel, were all the dogs that were supposed to be locked away. They were all sitting perfectly still, all staring straight ahead. Almost as if they were under some strange spell.

Their eyes darted over the sea of dogs, simultaneously. "How many people forgot to get a license?" Gaz wondered out loud.

Zim frowned. "I have a suspecting feeling that these filthy animals were not taken fairly."

Gaz's eyes opened a millimeter. "You mean….you think they were stolen? What makes you think that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Just a feeling," he muttered, walking under a sign that said, ' **STOLEN DOGS MEETING ROOM.'**

Gaz tapped her chin in thought. "Why would that guy go around stealing other people's dogs?"

"Kicks?" Zim suggested.

The pale girl shook her head. "You know what? I don't know, and I don't care. Let's just get GIR, and get out of here."

"Agreed," her partner nodded.

Gaz made her way over to the dogs, and began pushing them aside. "Okay, all we have to do is find a small, green dog in an army of normal ones."

"HEY! GIR LOOKS _EXACTLY_ LIKE A NORMAL DOG-BEAST!"

"His costume is green, Zim."

"It's his fur condition!"

Gaz just shook her head in exasperation. "GIR, where are you?" she called. Turning back to her partner, she asked, "Hey, do you have that thing that helped us find the little nut? Do you think you can use it to find out where he is in the room?"

Zim scoffed at her question. "Do you see the computer around me? And besides, it can only find his general location. That's as specific as it gets."

"Huh, some genius," Gaz glared.

"Hey, I-"

"Mastah? Gazzy?"

In half a second, the two allies stopped their quickly forming argument, and turned their heads to find a certain green puppy, with a giant zipper down the front of his chest.

"GIR!" they both cried in unison.

"Where?" the small dog cried, turning his head to look behind him.

"You alright, GIR?" Gaz asked, her voice remaining in its monotone form.

GIR was about to answer, but was interrupted by Zim shouting, "Who CARES? Let's just get of here already! I don't think I can take the scent of these filthy…filth beasts of….filth any longer!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "How can smell them if you don't have a nose anyway?"

"How can you see if you don't ever open your eyes?"

"….Fair enough."

Zim cleared his throat. "GIR, to the Voot. Now."

GIR bowed his head. "Aw…do we have to go right now? The human with two heads is coming back!"

Zim raised a would-be eyebrow. "'Human with two heads'?"

"He's probably talking about the guy with the enormous zit. The guy who brought him here."

"That's why we _need_ to leave GIR! We snuck in here, and we don't want to get caught by that ugly thing!" Zim warned.

"Aw, he not so bad! He gave us these pretty collars!" GIR smiled, pointing to his neck.

"What?" Gaz frowned, examining the blue chain around the small bot's neck.

"All the dog-monsters are wearing them!" Zim whispered, gesturing towards the herd of dogs.

Gaz straightened up, and said, "Zim…are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yes, I am…..obviously these collars hold some sort of mind-controlling devices. THAT'S IT! He's captured these filthy creatures…SO HE CAN MAKE AN ARMY OUT OF THEM! IT'S OBVIOUS!"

Gaz opened one of her eyes, slightly. "Zim? An army of dogs? Seriously? Even you're not that stupid. He's obviously a lonely nobody who captures other people's dogs to keep him company."

Zim pointed to his neck. "And the collars?"

"That's just how lonely he is."

"Well, SOMEBODY has no imagination!"

"Are you seri-"

"HERE HE COMEZ!" GIR shouted. "I HOPE HE BROUGHT SHOES!"

Thinking quickly, Zim hastily grabbed Gaz's small hand, and pulled her behind the corner of the entrance.

"Why are we hiding?" she asked.

"Because this is the part where the bad guy reveals his dastardly plot! And he's not going to do it with us standing right in front of him!"

"Are you sure?"

"I should know! _I'm_ a bad guy!"

They both quickly quieted down as they heard a heavy metal door slam shut. In another instant, Gaz wasn't the only human in the room anymore. The greasy-looking dog catcher walked in the room, wearing a strange lab coat. He was holding a stack of files, and a small box with a button on it. In other words, he had made an extreme transformation from the loser dog catcher, to an ugly scientist.

"Um…Zim is starting to think this human may be a deceiver," Zim pondered.

"Either that, or he likes to play dress-up," Gaz responded, to which Zim shrugged in response.

"My friends!" the man called, showing off his disgusting, yellow teeth. "This past week has been a busy one!"

"He is talking to the dogs-beasts," Zim whispered.

"I'd be lost without you," Gaz responded.

"But," the man continued, "It'll all be worth it! I finally have enough dogs to complete my scientific plan! And because I'm incredibly lonely, I'm going to tell it to all of _you!_ I mean, it's not a couple of anti-heroes are spying on us, right?" He made a gesture toward his neck. "Do you see your new, and should I say, improved collars around your neck?"

Weirdly, none of the dogs responded. They either laid down in boredom, began whimpering, or began biting at their fleas.

GIR frowned at the uncooperativeness of his fellow dog mates, and began jumping in the air. "I DO! I DO!"

The man grinned, seemingly unfazed by one of the dogs verbally responding. "Well, let's just say they're going to help become….shall we say….a little more _savage."_ He toyed with the remote control in his hand, and said, "There are things that need to change in this primitive town. We're all part of some conspiracy! We're being run by idiots! Bafoons! Morons!" He growled as he raked his fingers through his disgusting hair. "I mean, how many times have we seen alien artifacts appear in the past four years? The answer: constantly! And has that puff-ball of a mayor done anything? Has the Swollen-Eyeball Agency taken it seriously? NO!"

Gaz face-palmed in embarrassment. "Oh no….it's Dib in ten years…."

"Only not as ugly," Zim groaned.

"Sure, _I_ tried to run for mayor!" the man continued. "But _Bif_ , our 'beloved' mayor, bribed everyone with TAFFY!WHO PICKS A MAN GIVING AWAY TAFFY OVER AN INTELLIGENT SCIENTIST SUCH AS MYSELF!" he bellowed.

None of the dogs made a move. The only sound was GIR moaning, "Aw, I think he needs a hug."

The man smiled darkly, as he pushed his hair back. "But that's okay….because now I can take my rightful place as mayor…. _by fooooooooorce!"_ he said dramatically, as he made a sweeping motion towards the dogs.

Gaz sneezed.

"Bless you," Zim whispered.

"Thanks."

The yucky man held up his little box with a button on it. "A push of this button, and the collars around your neck will turn you into maniacal beasts! Together, we will chase that mayor and his putrid taffy out of business! Leaving me, Ketch, as the new, and SUPREME MAYOR!"

"Mind control. Told ya," Zim smirked.

She ignored him. "Do you think the mind control will work on GIR? You know, considering he's not really a dog?"

Zim shrugged. "I'm not sure…but what I want to know is why didn't _I_ ever think of this? Using Earth's own monsters against them? BRILLIANT! …..Although I have no idea what a 'mayor' is…."

Gaz shook her head. _Uh, he's so obsessed with himself….no wonder he's never accomplished anything…."_

The man, apparently named 'Ketch', finally managed to straighten himself out, and smile, "Okay…..any questions before we head out? Anybody? If you need to go to the bathroom, go now, because I'm not stopping at the nearest hydrate!"

GIR immediately raised his little hand and squealed, " Oooh! Me! Me! I HAS A QUESTION!"

The man nodded his head towards out favorite robot. "Yes, the bizarre one in the back."

"Can my Mastah and Gazzy go?"

"GIR!" the two people in mention whispered harshly.

Ketch raised an eyebrow. "Um…I'm sorry?"

"THEY RIGHT THERE BEHIND DE WALL!" GIR squealed.

"HE'S LYING!" Zim shouted.

Gaz had to fight the urge to strangle _both_ of the space idiots. Quietly, she stepped out from behind the wall with a blank expression. "Yeah, we're here. Can we have our dog back now?"

Ketch's eyes widened, as the small girl pulled Zim out from his hiding spot. "You two again!"

"Yep, us again," Gaz answered.

The man nervously fiddled with his remote control. "Um…how much of that did you see and/or hear?"

"Um…from where you admitted that your only company is a group of dogs that you're holding hostage, to asking them to take a bathroom break before you run the mayor out of town," she informed.

Ketch paused for a minute before glaring at the duo before him. "Well, you brats are crazy if you think you can stop me!"

"We don't," the dark girl stated.

"….Sorry?"

Gaz shrugged. "I hate the mayor too. I hate everything about this planet. Personally, I don't care who's the mayor. We just want our dog back."

Ketch was quiet for a minute before slowly raising an eyebrow, "Um…really?"

"Really."

"NOT!" Zim finally spoke out.

"Huh?" Ketch said.

"Yeah, huh?" Gaz frowned.

"Have you forgotten that _we_ are trying to take over the world? We can't let this-this-this…"

"Loser?"

"I was going to say 'failure at life', but 'loser' works too. Anyway, we can't let this loser beat us to it! If I didn't lose my job to Tak, what makes you think I'm going to lose it to a _human_?"

"He's just trying to take the mayor's job. We can kill him when we blow the planet up," Gaz whispered.

"But how many towns will he have taken by then? I….ugh, _we_ are the only ones who's going to conquer _anything_ on this planet. I refuse to be known as the _second_ guy who brought terror to the pitiful human's souls!"

Gaz lowly raised an eyebrow. "Uh….Zim? You do know there have been _many_ different conquests over the years, in many different places in the world, right?"

Zim's pupils shrank to little dots, before he screeched, "WHEN WILL YOUR EVIL LIES CEEEEEEASE?"

"ENOUGH!" Ketch shouted. Snarling, he raised the small box with a button on it. "You and your little boyfriend won't get a chance to stop me!"

Gaz frowned. "Nice Zim, we could've just walked away with GIR and-WAIT! _BOYFRIEND?"_

"We're not friends," Zim frowned.

Gaz shook her head. Stupid alien and his stupid naivety. "Zim….'boyfriend' means 'guy you like more than a friend.'"

Zim gave her a blank look.

The video game addict scrunched her brow, trying to think up a term that was _comprehensible_ to her affectionless partner. "You know…..I guess….kinda like….mates?"

Zim's face dropped. "You mean….like love-pigs?"

The pale girl nodded. Strange term, but it worked.

Zim's fake eyes slowly moved back to Ketch. The green boy had a deep frown on his face. "Listen here you. You can call me a brat, and you can even steal my SIR unit….but when you accuse me of having romantic intentions for _anyone_ , let alone _a human_ , that's when I get ugly!"

"Too late," Gaz smirked. She wasn't offended by Zim's comment. She knew he hated _all_ humans, including herself. And to be perfectly honest, she couldn't really picture Zim being romantically involved with anyone. In fact, the thought almost made her laugh.

But that didn't mean she wasn't beyond furious with _Ketch_ for suggesting that they were….she couldn't complete the thought.

"Whatever, you….weird…strange, strange green kid," Ketch frowned. "I will-"

"Wait!" Gaz interrupted.

"Yes…..the scary girl," the man sighed, pointing in her direction.

"You think he's a _human_?" Gaz screeched, pointing towards Zim. Didn't this guy _just_ get done complaining about the ignored signs of alien life? And yet, he couldn't recognize one when it was right in front of him?

Ketch shrugged. "Uh….yeah?"

Gaz face-palmed. _It's official…I'm the last sane person on this planet….oh well, I'm not going to turn into Dib and try to prove he's an alien…..that would go against our plans to take over the world anyway."_

Ketch merely shrugged when she didn't respond, and held up his remote. "DOG MINIONS! MAKE THEM DEAD!" Then, with oh so much drama, he pressed the button.

Instantly, the blue collars strapped to the throats of the animals began to crackle with electricity. They began to moan in pain and remorse. Soon, their eyes began to practically _glow_ red, as foam began forming around their mouths. They turned their bloody gazes on the two allies.

"Uh oh…" Zim choked out, as he began backing into the wall.

Gaz growled as she saw the massive number of savage dogs begin to advance upon them. Slowly, she joined Zim against the wall. "Zim…where's GIR?"

Slowly, Zim motioned with his head towards a small, green dog cringing in pain. Electricity was shooting from every pore of his body, and he looked like he was having a seizure. Obviously, the collar was not turning the little bot hostile, but rather causing him immense amount of pain. Gaz was surprised to find her ice cold heart hurt for the little deranged creature.

Zim took no notice of his robot's suffering. Instead, he watched as the rabid dogs began snapping at his ankles. His eyes roamed from the huge Shepard dogs, to the slobbering bull dogs, to the snarling Rottweiler's, to the…..freaky little Chihuahua?

"MADNESS!" Zim bellowed.

Ketch laughed a pathetic laugh. "Prepare to be dog kibble!"

Zim's eyes continued to roam the room. _There has to be a way out of this…..I could always grab the human and GIR, and use my PAK to get out….but that won't save my legs from being torn off, not to mention I'll probably hit those water sprinklers, which will…..wait….WATER SPRINKLERS! OF COURSE!"_

Only one thought was in the alien's sick mind now: He _needed_ fire. _Now._ But where was he supposed to get….

His blue contacts slowly turned to the scary human beside him. For the very first time, he was grateful that she was right beside him.

He began poking her arm repeatedly, gritting his teeth while doing so.

Gaz slightly opened her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Are you mad yet?"

The small girl groaned. "I'm getting irritated….and are you saying you're _trying_ to get me angry?"

"Just irritated, huh?" Zim asked, ignoring her question. He tapped his chin in thought. Irritation was not going to cover it. Suddenly, another idea hit him like a bolt of lightning. "Where's your Gameslave thingy?"

"I left it back at the base, why?" Gaz frowned.

 _Curses!_ There went his plan to take her precious device. Well, what else could he do to infuriate her? "Do you know what a disgustingly ugly human you are?" he said.

"Do you know what an impossibly stupid moron you are?"

Okaaaaay, she was used to insults by now. One of the dogs grabbed the hem of his shirt. "Ah! Down! Down!" He needed Gaz to release one of her dark tantrums _now!_ Usually, she was so easy to enrage, but now that he actually _needed_ her to….

_Think Zim…you know she hates people taking her gaming device…..insults are a no-go…..she hates being touched, but my poking didn't do anything….well, maybe it wasn't enough…But what can Zim do-"_

"Kiss your heads good-bye, kiddos!" Ketch announced.

Inspiration hit the alien hard and painfully.

Ignoring the nausea feeling in his squeedily-spooch, Zim quickly grabbed the human girl by her shoulders.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Uh, what are you-"

"Pleasedon'tkillmeforthislater!" he said in a rush, then…

…He kissed her.

He kissed her.

And just as he hoped, Gaz's hair was glowing with purple flames. Swinging her fist back, she punched our poor alien square in the eye, furiously wiping her lips. "YOU DISGUSTING, UGLY, GREEN WORM! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Zim wasn't paying attention. He was too busy scrubbing his lips. _HE,_ the almighty _ZIM,_ had kissed an inferior human earthling! And right after he had gotten on Ketch's case about him ever showing affections for a human? What would his Tallest think? If his planet found out, he'd be the laughing stock of the century!

And Irk forbid _that_ happening!

Gaz let her anger reach its highest peak. This had been the _second_ time she was unwillingly kissed by intergalactic specimen! And this time, it had been _Zim! ZIM!_ Forget the dogs! This weasel was dying by her own tiny hands!

Zim finally stopped his spaz long enough to see his partner glow with purple embers. Silently woeing the conditions his hands were going to be in when this was done, he grabbed Gaz by her ankle and threw her (with impressive force, I might add) at the sprinklers…

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

…causing them to go off. Gaz's flame was put out as water began to sprinkle from the ceiling. She was able to land on two feet as she fell, but that didn't stop her from wanting to rip her alien partner's head off. She was about to advance on him, but stopped as she saw the electricity from the dogs' collars stream out in waves. A few flashing lights later, and the collars were out of commission. The dogs were now as dopey and clueless as they had been before.

"HA! VICTORY FOR ZIM!" the alien screeched.

Ketch watched in horror as his plan slowly fell apart. "No, no, no, NO! The power of their love overpowered me!"

"Dude, what the _heck?"_ Gaz screeched. "Love had nothing to do with this! It was _science!"_

Zim smirked. "Your plan is over, Ketch-weirdo! You'll never beat Zim at ruling the world now!"

"He was aiming for the town, Zim, " Gaz reminded.

Ketch glared. "Well, I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dog!"

"….GIR didn't do anything," Zim frowned.

"Oooh! Speaking of which," Gaz whispered. She quickly made her way to GIR's unconscious form, and cradled him in her arms.

Ketch groaned. "Those collars were one of a kind! I can't just make more!"

"Yeah….we don't care," Zim whispered. Smiling, he turned back to his partner. "Ready to go?"

Gaz opened her slightly.

Zim's smile disappeared. "What's wrong?"

"Zim…water's pouring through the ceiling."

"So…?"

She groaned. "Let me repeat that: WATER is pouring from the ceiling! How are you feeling there, bud?"

Realization slowly dawned on the poor green creature. Obviously, he hadn't thought his plan all the way through…

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNSSS!"

* * *

By the time they got back, it was already dark. It was amazing how much time busting a robot out of a crazy man's pound took.

Zim rubbed his eyes, as he landed the Voot on the front lawn. Which of course, no one saw. "I cannot believe we wasted an entire day of training, just so we could save GIR."

Gaz nodded. "I know. I got him away from one maniac, just to bring him to another."

The alien slammed his fist on the control panel. "Could you stop making fun of me for _two seconds_ AND TAKE THIS PARTNERSHIP SERIOUSLY?"

Gaz was about to snap at him for yelling at her, but instead just sighed and turned her head away. "All joking aside, I think rescuing GIR was good training for us. I mean, we worked together to get out there, right?" Suddenly, she frowned and punched her partner's thin arm.

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing his quickly forming bruise. "Okay, why?" he demanded.

"How about putting your disgusting green lips on mine! _And_ for using me as a lighter!" she growled.

"At least we got out, right?" he tried to reason.

Gaz frowned. "Whatever. You're just lucky that I'm too tired to kill you."

"It's not like I _wanted_ to…..you know. Zim just needed to get you angry enough to produce fire!"

"I thought you didn't know what a kiss was?" Gaz asked, remembering Dib mentioning Zim's obliviousness a few days ago. Or something. She hadn't been paying attention.

"I researched it after the Dib-human mocked me with it," Zim said, simply.

"I nearly gagged," Gaz threw in, sitting back in her seat.

"FOOLISH GIRL!" Zim scowled, tired of hearing her complain about his amazing plan. "You should feel honored that you got to kiss the ALMIGHTY ZIM!"

"Yeah, but I don't," Gaz muttered.

Well….how was he supposed to respond to that?

Gaz looked down at the tiny robot on her lap. "So….what happened to GIR?"

"The electricity caused all his circuits to fuse. He's currently recharging. He'll be fine," he sighed.

Gaz slowly looked down at the little robot. What was she feeling? It was feeling….like she had to protect the small robot on her lap. Protect him from Zim. What was the feeling? She hadn't felt it such a long time. And why _did_ she care so much about GIR? Wasn't he incredibly annoying? Way to perky? Dangerously stupid? In yet, Gaz accepted him for that. She didn't hate him for his stupidity. She didn't hate him at all.

Oh sweet piggy, she was going soft.

"Zim?"

"Huh?"

"Did you _know_ the water would shut GIR down?"

Zim shook his head. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Well, did you?"

" _I don't know!_ Who cares? We won!" Zim shouted. What _was it_ with this woman and her obsession with his personal relationship with his SIR unit?

"Would you have let GIR die if it would allow you to defeat a pathetic human?" Gaz asked him.

The green alien stared at her for a minute or two, before groaning in his claw. "He can't die, Gaz-human. He's a robot, not an Irken. He can shut down completely, but it's impossible for him to die."

For what felt like a long time, Gaz and Zim just stared at one another. It almost seemed like they were reaching a silent agreement. On the outside, they were exactly the same. They both hated humanity, and they both wanted to conquer it. But on the inside….there was something different. One could say they were different on how they planned, or it could be said they were didn't share the same opinions on how to complete their goals. But when it came down to it, the huge difference between Invader Zim and Gaz Membrane was plain and obvious.

One of them knew how to feel. The other one didn't.

Sighing, Gaz grabbed GIR in her arms and headed for the base.

"Gaz-human!" Zim called, feeling angry that she had left in such an abrupt manner. Snarling, he hopped out of his Voot, putting it on auto-pilot so it would park itself in the base's roof.

"Dib-sister! Don't you do the dramatic walk-out on Zim!"

Gaz rolled her eyes as she entered the base. "What a twerp…"

"PORK CHOPS!"

The pale girl didn't move a muscle. "Welcome back, GIR."

The cute robot smiled with his tongue sticking out. "I FEEL TINGLY!"

Gaz rolled her eyes and dropped the deranged machine. "Oh GIR…just go to bed."

GIR's cyan eyes instantly turned blood red as he saluted her, "Yes, my mistress!"

_BANG!_

"DIB-SISTER!"

Gaz merely sighed. "It took you this long to reach the front door?"

"Why are you being so difficult?" Zim demanded to know, ignoring the small robot scampering by his feet.

"Why are you being so heartless?" Gaz scowled, finally turning to look at him.

"Maybe because I _am_ heartless!" Zim glared. "Although I have no idea what a human's source for pumping blood has to do with anything…"

Gaz took a deep breath. "Look Zim, I'm not a touchy feeling kind of girl. In fact, I hate just about everyone around me. I also know that affections and compassion isn't exactly a specialty of the Irkens…but GIR is loyal to you, and I think you should appreciate that." _Especially considering how I've never had a loyal friend in my life,_ she mentally added.

Zim rolled his ruby eyes. "Stupid Earth filth, GIR is _programmed_ to feel loyalty towards me."

"You honestly think his 'programming' works right? He feels loyalty towards you on his own, whether it's from stupidity or not. Don't you think you should-"

"No."

"What?"

"No. I am GIR's master. That's it."

"He considers you a friend," Gaz informed him.

"Irkens have no need for 'friendship'!" Zim scowled.

"A friend like GIR comes around once in a lifetime."

"Oh, because you're an expert on friendship!" Zim sneered.

"No, I'm not. I don't have any friends. I don't have and friends except..."

"Except who?"

"…GIR," Gaz stated. She almost smiled at the look on Zim's face. "Yeah space boy, _I,_ the cruel, scary human, care about GIR. He's stupid, hyper, and insane. But he's my friend. And if I care about him, then you should to!"

Zim shook his head at the girl's feelings. Who knew this scary human restrained such emotions. Perhaps he chose the wrong partner… "Listen human. _I_ am an Irken warrior. My affections are held only for world conquest. I don't need friendship, nor do I _want it._ Will I pretend friendship to reach my goals? Yes, I will. Will I put up with a human brat to keep my PAK safe? If I must. But if you think for a second that I would endanger my mission for a measly 'friendship' or 'relationship', then you're even crazier than your brother-unit!" Here he leaned in close to her face. "I don't care about Earth, I don't care about GIR, and I _certainly_ don't care about YOU!"

The two of them stood there glaring at one another. Finally, Gaz whispered, "I didn't ask you to care about _me,_ Zim. No one cares about me. It's been that way for years. But what do I care? And personally, I'd rather die than have you as a friend!" Finally, she straightened up. "I'm sorry, Zim. Obviously I asked too much of you. Apparently, you're not capable of love." Grumbling to herself, she made her way to the couch. "Good night," she muttered.

Zim growled when she walked past him. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S NOT CAPABLE OF LOVE!"

Gaz was quiet. So quiet, that Zim was scared that she would pull out a gun from under her dress and blast his brain out. He wouldn't be surprised if she did. Instead, all he got was a quiet, "I have loved Zim….I've loved more than you could ever imagine…"

Zim fumed as she walked away from him. So, his twisted partner and robot slave were friends now? And what did that make him? Did that make him, as humans say it, the third wheel? Well, that was fine with him! Let the Gaz-beast handle GIR's craziness! See if he cared! She was too short-tempered to handle his behavior for long anyway! Uh…who knew this human actually had _feelings?_ He certainly didn't!

He watched as she made herself comfortable on the couch. _Little Gaz….she's a wonder…IN A BAD WAY! IN A BAD WAY!_

* * *

Zita, and old classmate of Zim and Dib's, decided she should be heading home now. Malls had to close eventually, right? Although she wouldn't complain to being locked in! Smiling to herself, she made her way down the path to her house, carrying heavy bags with her.

She hummed to herself along the way, pulling at her scarf occasionally to warm herself from the wind. She really couldn't wait until she was fifteen and she could get her permit! Then she could ride in style, _and_ keep herself warm!

"Gaz…."

Zita's eyes opened in shock as she felt the Earth shake slightly underneath her. "Huh…"

"GOTCHA!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Zita screamed, as a cold, grey hand grabbed her by her hair, and lifted her off the ground. Her screams continued as she looked into the blood, red eyes of her captor.

One of the grey monsters shook his head. "This is not our Dark Source. She is too screamy, and she's not hanging around a green kid."

"I could've sworn I smelled her darkness," the other one grumbled.

"No, that's just this kid's perfume. Smells evil, huh?"

The grey monster shrugged before dropping Zita on the ground. "I suppose we'll just have to keep looking."

"We must hurry. Vesen is getting anxious. Young Gaz cannot hide from us forever."

Chuckling darkly, the two aliens crawled away into the darkness, leaving behind a petrified Zita.


	7. Quick! To The Mall!

" _Earth time: 10:00 A.M. Pak recharge: 100% Good morning, Zim."_

Zim slowly opened his ruby eyes. He yawned and stretched out his tiny body. Smacking his lips together, he pressed a button of the side of his pod, and waited patiently for the plugs to detach themselves from his PAK. _Another day, another scheme,_ Zim thought to himself, as the pod's main door opened up.

The tiny Irken marched towards his computer. "Computer! I require some Earth Co-FEEEEEEEE!"

" _Zim, you hate coffee."_

"That's ZIM'S problem!" the alien frowned. "I need it for my recovery!"

" _Recovery?"_

"Yes, that is what I just said." Zim frowned as his sarcastic machine poured him a cup of the disgusting, black liquid. "I'm still having nightmares!" He quickly grabbed the cup and began forcing the hot drink down his throat.

" _And coffee is going to make it better?"_

"Coffee makes EVERYTHING better! Or at least that's what the humans say," Zim said, trying not cringe as he drank more of the stinky stuff.

" _Hm…"_

Zim frowned and sat down his drink. "Well?"

" _Well what?"_

"Don't you want to know what I'm recovering _from_?" Zim asked. Seriously, he had an inconsiderate computer!

" _Not really."_

Zim glared before saying, "I _thought_ you might! Well, if you MUST know-"

" _-Which I don't."_

Zim angrily grabbed his drink again. "Look! I've got a lot to get off my chest, so listen up! Now-"

" _I'm your computer. Not your therapist."_

The invader gave a small pout before saying, "Can't you be both for ten seconds?"

" _That was not in the job description."_

"Come ON! It won't kill you! I never-!" Zim bit his lip, stopping himself from finishing his sentence.

 _Now_ the computer was interested. Did he detect…. _pain_ in his master's eyes? Fun. _"What do you mean, Zim? You never what?"_

Zim scrunched his brow, wanting to erase all evidence of loneliness from his face. He placed a single claw in his drink and began to swirl it, absent-mindedly. How the heck the drink hadn't somehow burned him yet, don't ask me.

"It's just….I never get to…I just never get to talk to anybody!"

And it was the truth. The sad, pitiful truth. He meant what he said last night about not needing any friends, but….a companion once in a while wouldn't hurt. Zim loved to talk. He loved to talk about his ideas, his people, his dreams….but who did he have to share them with? Computer didn't want to listen, talking to GIR was like talking to a wall, Minimoose (wherever that little bugger was hiding) was always hiding from him, and the Tallest always seemed to be busy when he called them up to 'just chat'. Zim would die a thousand deaths before admitting it…..oh wait, he just did….well, he hated to admit it, but he _was_ a little, tiny bit, sorta….lonely. One time it got so bad, he followed a kid he didn't even know just to vent his feeling out to him. It was embarrassing…..but at the same time, was _so_ wrong to want to chat with someone who shared the same interests as him? Was it wrong that he was tired of being his one and only companion? I mean, craving _one_ sane comrade…that didn't make him weak, right?

He frowned as he heard his computer chuckle at him. _"Aw, is poor Zimmy a lonely little Irken?"_

"SHUT UP!" Zim hissed, finishing up his coffee. "This is serious, Computer! If this keeps up, I'm going to start talking to myself!"

" _Um….Zim? You already do that."_

"SEE? It happened without me noticing!" Zim sputtered. "NOW YOU KNOW MY PAAAAAAAAAAIN!"

The computer sighed. _"Zim, why don't you just talk to Gaz? At least you two share a lot in common."_

Zim's mouth dropped open at his computer's words. After a moment of silence, he straightened himself up and said, "Computer? I require more coffee."

The computer rolled its eyes (wait, what?), and poured its master another cup of coffee.

The invader marched over towards the dark drink, and gave it a little sniff. "Is this decaff?"

" _I….think so…"_

Zim then shrugged and took a few gulps of the coffee…then spit it out all over the lab. Classic spit-take style.

"TALK TO THE DIB-SISTER? SHE'S THE REASON I'M _HAVING_ NIGHTMARES! FOOLISH COMPUTER! I NEED NOTHING FROM HER! NOOOOTTHHHHIIIIING!"

" _You need her partnership."_

"Well…yeah….but besides that, NOTH-"

" _And you need her dark temper tantrums."_

"Yeah, I guess those could come in handy…but other than that, NOTH-"

" _And what about her knowledge of Dib?"_

Zim's face went blank. "I'm leaving now," he said, then made his way to the 'house' of his base.

The computer groaned before picking up its master's unfinished cup of coffee. " _You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you waste this perfectly good cup of coffee! First thing tomorrow, you're finishing it! I don't care what planet we're on! Waste not, want not, Zim. WASTE NOT, WANT NOT!"_

* * *

Zim marched through his kitchen, grumbling a few Irken swear words that should not be said in a rated T fanfic. He was _not_ looking forward to seeing his partner, he was in a bad enough mood. He was still grossed out by the fact that he had….done the K-word with the human girl. It had been humiliating and gross and embarrassing and yucky and shameful and disgusting and…..awkward and ew.

Surprisingly, that wasn't the thing that bugged him the most. What bugged him…or really, _surprised_ him was the fact that she stood up to him. She had done it countless times, but last night really stuck to him. She really wasn't scared of the fact that he was an alien…..sure, the Dib-beast wasn't either, but _she_ …. _she_ genuinely didn't care. Didn't she know he could kill her easily if he wanted to? Or did she not care about that either? It was obvious that there was very little that the human girl cared for, but did include her very life? Did she not care if she was killed?

 _You know what? Why do I even care?_ Zim thought, shaking his head. The human wasn't disturbed by the fact that he's an alien, big whoop! He had more important things to worry about!

"HI MASTAAAAAAAAH!"

For example, how long could GIR survive in a closet? On Jupiter? "GIR, I see you have awakened."

GIR nodded, his tongue sticking out again. "I WAS JUST GONNE MAKE SOME DUMPLINS'!"

"I see, how are you feeling?" A soon as those words came out of his mouth, Zim slapped a claw over his green lips. Was that…. _concern_ that just spilled from his mouth? No…no surely not! No…he just didn't want to bother the Tallest by asking for a new SIR unit. Yeah, that was it.

GIR jumped up and down in glee. "I FEEL SWEATY!"

"That's technically impossible GIR," Zim muttered. "Anywhoo, prepare breakfast for me and the human. She's going to have her work cut out for her today, so-"

"Ya mean Gazzy?" GIR asked, tilting his head to the side.

Zim rolled his eyes. "No GIR, I'm talking about the _other_ human that lives with us."

"THERE'S ANOTHAH?" GIR wailed before quickly lifting up his master's foot to look under his boot. "IS IT HERE?"

Zim yanked his foot from his robot's grip before saying, "I was being sarcastic, GIR! Sarcastic!"

GIR gave him a blank look.

The invader sighed. "You don't know what 'sarcastic' means, do you?"

"I know it hurts."

Zim sighed. "Whatever. Just wake up the Gaz-human so we may-"

"Oh her? She left."

Silence.

"What?" Zim asked.

"She left awhiles ago," GIR smiled.

Another silence.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Zim bellowed. Fuming, the small alien marched over to the living room couch. Sure enough, the human girl was not there.

"Hey Mastah! How are you making smoke come out of yo antenners like dat?"

Zim paid no mind to the small bot, or the smoke detector that just went off. He was too busy having daydreams about ways to kill the sister of Dib. She had abandoned him. She abandoned him and left him for dead. She knew he would die if she didn't stay, and yet she got and left for NO REASON! Had this been her plan all along? Make him waste a few days on her, and then, as humans say it, 'fly the coop'? "She left AGAIN?" he bellowed. "WHY?"

GIR smiled his dopey smile. "She said it was none of my bee's wax!"

Zim shook his head. "That makes no sense! You don't have any bee's wax!"

"CAN WE BUY SOME?"

"NO! You KNOW how I feel about…. _the bees._ "

"…I do?"

"SILENCE!" Zim bellowed. "I should have known better than to trust that filthy human! She's just as bad as her brother! Well, FORGET HER! SHE CAN DIE WITH THE REST OF HER PATHETIC RACE! Seriously, I don't even know why she left! All I said last night was that I didn't care about her! What, now I'm supposed to believe she actually has _feelings?_ Well, fine! RUN AWAY LIKE A LITTLE SMEET, HUMAN! I DON'T CARE!"

"Are you done?"

"NO! I'm building up to…something…." Zim's tantrum died down as he recognized the monotone voice coming from behind him. He slowly turned his head.

There was Gaz, leaning against the door frame. Her face was unreadable, but that didn't stop a chill from running up the invader's spine.

"G-Gaz-human?"

"Zim."

"Um…how long have you been standing there?"

"Since smoke began to stream out of your antennas."

Zim began to sweat. "Uh…"

The girl shook her head and walked up to her partner. "Believe it or not Zim, I'm not out to kill you. That's my stupid brother's job. Now, I'm going to need you to do me a favor: Don't get clingy. I refuse to be by your side every minute of the day. You'll just have to survive without me."

"ZIM IS NOT CLINGY!" Zim shouted. "I just….where did you go anyway? Have you been assisting other invaders?"

 _Is he serious?_ Gaz thought to herself. "Zim, I refuse to believe that even _you_ know what you're talking about."

"ADMIT IT, HUMAN! You've been seeing other aliens! You've been going behind my PAK! Now who have you been working with, you unloyal, Earth-monkey?"

"You've got to be joking."

"I most certainly am NOT! I know we are not friends, but you don't see ME planning world conquest with any other humans! THAT'S JUST SICK! YOU'RE A SICK HUMAN!" Zim told her.

"First off," Gaz held up one finger, "I'm the only human you can tolerate. Second, if there was another invader within _miles_ from here, do you think I would be wasting my time with you? And finally, if it's truly killing you, I was just taking a shower."

"YOU UNTRUSTWORTHY LITTLE- wait, what?" Zim asked.

Gaz shrugged. "I needed a shower. I figured you didn't have one, due to your allergy of water, so I ran home to take a shower."

Zim felt his blood rush to his face, but decided not to believe her. "How do I know you're telling Zim the truth?"

Gaz sighed. "This is so stupid…just smell me! Honestly, you're getting worked up over nothing…."

Zim was hesitant, but he slowly grabbed some of his partner's hair and pressed it up to his face. He inhaled her scent. She smelled like lavender. Zim's eyes widened. He was surprised to find that he actually… _admired_ the scent. It wasn't at all like the other filthy human scents. "Wow! This is strong!" Zim exclaimed, continuing to sniff the human's hair.

Gaz opened her eyes in discomfort. "Um…Zim? You're making me uncomfortable."

The alien ignored her. He just discovered that this lavender scent wasn't just in her hair. He brought his face down to her shoulder and began to inhale her scent there. _Ahhhhh….the scent…so soothing…_

"Zim, knock it off. I'm not a scratch-and-sniff sticker." She growled as he ignored her request. "How are you even smelling me? You don't have a nose!" She gasped as she felt her blood run to her cheeks. Zim had just moved her hair, and now he was burying his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply. Giving a little roar, Gaz pulled back her tiny fist and slammed it into the invader's right eye. "I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!"

Zim grimaced in pain, and clutched his swollen eye. "Why is it always THIS eye you chose to punch?" he asked.

"Here, I'll even it up," Gaz said, pulling back her arm.

* * *

"GAZZY, WHAT'S YO FAVORITE COLAAAAH?'

"Why?"

"CUUUUUUUUUUUZ!"

Gaz sighed at her friend's high-pitched voice. "I guess black."

GIR picked up a black crayon and colored with it. He paused. "YELLAH OR GREEN?"

Gaz growled before saying, "Um…..green, I guess."

GIR smiled. "WATAH OR SPACE?"

"….Space," Gaz said, no longer looking in his direction.

GIR's smile grew. "Who has bettah hair? MILEY OR ELVIS?"

"Oh Elvis, definitely."

GIR chuckled. "SWAMP MONSTER OR GREEN MONSTER?"

Gaz groaned, getting _very_ annoyed by her friend's questions. "I don't know! A green monster, I guess! Now let me watch T.V!"

GIR was quiet for a minute, but soon he had another question for his mistress. "Where is Mastah?"

"Treating his eyes," Gaz smiled. "He'll be back in a few minutes."

GIR placed a little metal finger to his mouth. "Do you still hate ma mastah?"

Gaz was quiet for a minute before waving a small hand. "Eh, I'm getting used to him."

GIR instantly brightened. "SO YOU TWO IS FRIEEEEEEEENDS?"

"NO!" Gaz snapped. "GIR, that means I'm not surprised by his stupidity anymore! I still don't like him!"

GIR let tears well up in his eyes before returning to his drawing.

 _Oh great, here comes the guilt,"_ Gaz thought. "GIR…..why do you want us to be friends so much?"

GIR didn't look at her. "Cuz then we would be together foreva….we wud nevah say bye-bye."

Gaz opened her eyes, shocked by GIR's sudden deepness. It made her wonder…. _would_ she be with Zim forever? She knew that they planned on taking the world together after she was presented to the Tallest….but then what? They would rule it together…forever? Was she destined to be the crazy alien's partner for all eternity? How long were Irken life spans? What if she tried to kill him after the job was done? She was capable of doing it…..but no. She wouldn't. Despite popular belief, she wasn't completely heartless. Zim trusted her. He didn't like her, but he trusted her. She couldn't find it in her ice-cold heart to stab him in the PAK just because he was annoying.

But could she say the same thing for him?

What if he was planning on killing her as soon as the world was conquered? She wouldn't be surprised. Unlike her, he was evil through and through. Well….if he tried to kill her, she would just have to fight back. And she had a strong feeling that she would come out the victor in a battle of strength. Forget his technology, she had her hot, purple rage as her weapon…

" **ARE YOU TIRED OF THE SAME OLD CRUSTY PIZZA?"**

All the young girl had to do was hear the word 'pizza', and her mind instantly snapped out of her personal thoughts, and became directed at the T.V.

" **WELL, STOP BEING AN IDIOT! TRY OUR NEW PIZZA COOKIES! THAT'S RIGHT! PIZZA COOKIES!"** Gaz watched as an image of a cookie covered in cheese and pepperonis appeared on the screen. **"HOT AND FRESH TOO! IF YOU DON'T WANT THIS, YOU HATE PIZZA! WHY? WHAT DID PIZZA EVER DO TO YOU?"**

Gaz felt a roar erupt from her stomach. She opened her eyes to their full auburn glory. _Pizza…in cookie form…I have to have it…I have to have it or else I will die…I can't survive without it…._

" **HOWEVER, THIS LIFE SOURCE IS NOT YET AVAILABLE AT BLOATY'S!"** The announcer appeared on the screen. He was the only one on the planet that could beat Dib at a giant head contest. **"IN FACT, IT'S NOT AVAILABLE ANYWHERE…."**

Gaz growled, wanting to strangle the man who dared to play with her heart.

"… **EXCEPT AT THE FOOD COURT IN THE** _ **BEARPURSUIT**_ **MALL! YOU HEARD CORRECTLY! THE** _ **BEARPURSUIT**_ **MALL! GET IT NOW! THESE BABIES WON'T BE OFFICIALLY RELEASED UNTIL NEXT WEEK! GET THEM TODAY, OR WAIT FOR SEVEN MORE DAYS!"**

 _Well, that's not going to happen_ , Gaz thought to herself. She would have those pizza cookies...sure, most common people would think that cookies and pizza were a bad combo, but hey! They could combine her precious pizza with green beans and she would eat it! Today's mission: Venture on into the _Bearpursuit_ mall!

She grimaced as she heard an elevator rise from the kitchen. "Okay! I got my eyes to stop bleeding for more than five minutes…I'm going to take that as a go ahead with the day!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "You're such a whiner, Zim."

Zim scowled at her, and then winced due to the bruises around his eyes. "Whatever. We have much, oh sweet Irk _much,_ catching up to do in your training. We're going to have to skip out on Tallest 101 and get started with your combat training."

Gaz growled. No way was she missing out on brand new pizza for Zim's stupid training. She was going to the _Bearpursuit_ mall, even if she had to drag Zim with her, bound and gagged.

 _Preferably_ bound and gagged.

She looked over at her green partner. "Zim, I want to go to the mall."

"There's really no way for me to care less about that," Zim instantly retorted.

"But they have new pizza cookies, and they _will_ be mine!" the girl growled.

"Not today they won't," Zim sniffed. "We haven't even gotten started on your training! I'm not going to let you waste the day away just for some filthy Earth food!"

Gaz snarled. How _dare_ he think he can tell her what to do! "Who said I was asking for your permission?"

"Who said I won't do everything in my power to stop you?" Zim frowned at her. "You already find me annoying. You walk out that door and I swear, I won't give you a DAY of peace until you start listening to me!"

Gaz released another growl. She could easily just head down to the mall, but then Zim would make an extra attempt to annoy her. She had to make him _want_ her to go. But how? She had to think quick….

"Fine. Your loss," Gaz shrugged while lying back on the couch.

This comment perked Zim's interest. "And how is not going to the filthy maaaaaaaaall my loss?"

Gaz gave another shrug. "Well, everybody-well, every _human,_ obviously- knows that the mall holds all the files and secrets of Earth's strongest armies and militaries."

Zim's eyes widened, much to the human girl's enjoyment. "What? As in, their weaknesses, their numbers, top strategies, their PAPERVIEW PASSWORDS?"

Gaz nodded. "Yeah, why do you think so many people go there? They're constantly trying to find the files, but alas, they are nothing but stupid humans. They could never find them. But I'm sure someone with _your_ superior intellect would be able to able to track them." She couldn't help but let a little sarcasm seep into her words. "But you don't want to go so, oh well. Dib said he was going to try to find them tomorrow before you could get you greedy little hands on them anyway…" She chuckled, knowing the last part would seal the deal.

"WHAT?" Zim bellowed. "THAT IDIOT BROTHER OF YOURS THINKS HE CAN STEAL AWAY THE VICTORY OF THE GREAT ZIM?" Fuming, the small alien shouted, "GIR! PUT ON YOUR DISGUISE! WE ARE GOING TO THE HUMAN MAAAAAAAAALL!"

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!" GIR cheered. "CAN WE GET SOME TAQUITOS WHILE WE THERE?"

"N-MAYBE!" Zim answered. He quickly pulled out his wig and contacts and put them on. "Come Dib-sister! We are LEAVING!"

Gaz smiled evily, wondering not for the first time, how _he_ was supposed to be the superior race.

* * *

"So…..this is the mall?" Zim asked, once they reached their destination.

Gaz nodded. "More specifically: The _Bearpursuit_ mall."

The alien chuckled darkly. "Excellent. Now all we need to do is find those military files! Then, nothing can stand in our way for world domination! The Tallest will be so pleased! They might hold a ceremony for us, or present us with an award. OMG! They might even give us a promotion!"

Gaz was surprised to hear Zim say 'us' in a fantasy that seemed so important to him. It almost made her feel guilty for lying to him. Almost. "Yeah, whatever. As long as I get my pizza cookies while I'm in here, I'm happy."

"'Happy'? That can happen to you?" Zim smirked.

Gaz shrugged. "I have my moments."

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAH!" GIR cheered. "WE GONNA GET THE YUMMY FILES! CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!"

"GIR, SILENCE!" Zim screeched. "We do not want the humans knowing that their most precious secrets are in danger of being discovered." He then turned to his partner. "Now Little Gaz, let's go find us some TOP SECRET FIIIIIIIIILEEEEEEEES!"

Gaz considered bashing her head against the nearest wall, but she didn't want to eat her new pizza with a headache. "Whatever. Just try to stay calm and…..please, _for once_ try not to freak out?"

Zim scoffed and shook his head in endearment. "Please filthy human, there is nothing that this primitive mall can dish out that will cause the ALMIGHTY ZIM to 'freak out'."

* * *

**5 MINUTES LATER…..**

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF IRK IS THAT PIECE OF EVIL?" Zim screamed, grabbing onto his smaller partner for dear life.

Gaz hated Zim. "It's a water fountain, Zim. It's supposed to look pretty."

"Humans have no taste in beauty!" Zim growled. "And they-WHAT IS THAT?"

"That's an escalator, Zim. Earth's not that primitive."

"Well I suppose- AAAAAAH! WHAT'S THAT?"

"…That's an old man, Zim. Not shut up and let me go!" Gaz growled before pushing the alien off her. "Look, let's just get what we need and go, okay? Obviously you're too much of a baby to stay in a mall for very long."

Zim cleared his throat and straightened out his uniform. "Yes well, perhaps you are right. We must stick to the mission, and- okay seriously, why do they have a poster of that little girl hanging on their wall, and why are all the other human females trying to kiss her?"

"…That's Justin Beiber."

"Ah," Zim pondered. "Strange name for a female."

Gaz bit her lower lip. "Uh….Zim?"

"LOOK!" the alien pointed towards a store. "Look at that shop! It's called _Gamepause!_ I'll bet the files are in there!"

" _Gamepause?"_ Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Hm….yeah. I guess we could stop there. Let's go."

Zim nodded. "Come GIR! We are heading into the-GIR?" He turned his head to find his 'dog' trying desperately to reach up and kiss the picture of Justin Beiber. "GIR! STOP TRYING TO KISS THAT HUMAN FEMALE! SHE'S JUST A PICTURE…..AND YOU COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER!"

Gaz rolled her eyes before quickly rushing into the video game store. Her mood instantly brightened at the sight of walls of video games. Her precious, _precious_ video games.

"Oh yes, this is definitely a place where ignorant humans would hide their top secret files!" Zim's voice came behind her.

"Whatever," Gaz muttered before walking over to the Gameslave guidebooks.

Zim walked behind her all while keeping a close eye on the video games on the wall. He knew his young partner craved them more than life itself, so it made him curious to see what was so special about them. Sure, he had some back at the base, but they were just for show. He didn't have time for such mindless entertainment.

The green invader casually walked up to the wall and picked off the first game he saw. _"'Kingdom Farts?'_ Huh, one of the human's greatest hits."

"Yeah, I played it," Gaz muttered, looking through a _Toshimon_ guidebook. "It was cool, but the graphics sucked compared to _Last Legend._ Plus, they're always teasing us with in-between stories instead of giving the freakin' third installment!"

"Yeah, yeah, very interesting," Zim yawned. "So, you think they keep the military files in here?"

Gaz was about to tell him to buzz off, but then instantly changed her mind. She decided to mess with her egomaniac partner. "Well….maybe. The top rated 'secret codes' are over there," she said, pointing towards a lone guidebook on a desk by the corner.

"WHAT?" Zim bellowed. "They actually SELL their secrets? And with NO security? FOOLISH HUMANS! They're practically BEGGING me to take over their planet!" The Irken then squinted his blue contacts. "And they're selling them for only 5.99$? THE HUMULIATION!"

"Then why don't you take advantage of my race's stupidity and buy it?" Gaz sneered. She then noticed her robot friend was eating a 'rated E 10+' game. "GIR, don't eat that. It'll give you gas. Eat this," she said, handing him a 'rated M' game.

Zim's eyes quickly roamed around the room. "This could be a trap. Watch my PAK, Gaz-human."

"Hmmmm," Gaz hummed.

Slowly, Zim made his way to the other side of the room. He looked back and forth, making sure no human was planning on tackling him. Surprisingly, none of the filthy monkeys seemed to notice him. They were too busy looking at the games. It frustrated the small Irken. Didn't they know he was about to get their most precious secrets? He sighed. Oh well, a bigger advantage for him! Stupid worm-babies…

Carefully, Zim stretched out his claw to reach for the guidebook….only to have a small, blonde human child snatch it away right in front of him.

"Mommy! Mommy! I gots it! I gots it!" the cute child squealed.

Gaz looked up from her book. "Oh, this ought to be good."

For a minute, Zim didn't even turn to look at the child. In fact, his arm was still stretched out. He had cleverly avoided confrontation with any of the oblivious humans, and carefully made his way to the top secret files. And then…. _just_ when it was in his reach…this tiny human smeet snatched it right out of his grasp. He had been defeated, _not_ by a human security guard or manager, but a _smeet?_ The poor Irken could only process one thought.

Oh no she di-IN'T!

Zim scowled a deep scowl before turning to face the small girl. "Um…human smeet?"

The little girl looked up at him with big, blue eyes. "Yes Mistew?" she said in a dainty, baby voice.

Zim was unaffected by her cuteness, but he did wonder what a little girl was doing in a video game store in the first place. "I want that book you just grabbed with your ugly, little hands. Give it to Zim."

The little girl's eyes widened. "Whaaaaaat?" she whispered.

"You heard me. I want it! Hand it over, Earth child! I need that book to kill your people!"

The little girl brought the book up to her chest. "But it's mine!"

Zim leaned in close to her. "Listen here, brat! Don't think that I am above hitting children. If you don't hand that book over to Zim, I will wrap those little piggy tails around your neck and squeeze until your eyes pop out! Now, unless you do not want die a severely painful death at _such_ a young age, you _will_ hand those codes over to your future slave driver!"

The little girl stared at him.

* * *

"Stop laughing."

"Sorry, it was a pity laugh."

"That makes it worse."

"Not my fault."

"HOW can something SO small kick SO HARD?" Zim groaned, rubbing his torn arm.

Gaz shrugged and chuckled. "I don't know. One minute she was so cute and innocent, the next she was trying to rip your throat out…..literally. I think I saw her foam a bit too…."

"Okay, so you saw that too?" Zim checked.

"I think she was pretty," GIR smiled, blushing slightly. "She reminded me of a little yellow piggy."

Zim rolled his eyes. "Anyway, thanks for prying her fangs off my leg, Dib-sister."

Gaz shrugged. "It was funny at first, but when she started licking your leg to get the blood, it started to freak me out," she told the torn up Irken.

"Indeed," Zim mumbled, rubbing the bruise that was across his throat. "I just can't believe she ate the passwords before you had a chance to steal them from her."

"Don't worry about that. I have a feeling they were just a decoy," Gaz said, feeling slightly bad that Zim gotten hurt because of her prank.

Zim smacked his forehead. "Of course! Not even humans are stupid enough to sell their passwords and secrets to demon children! We must-"

Gaz waved her hand and walked on. "Yeah, yeah, we'll find those stupid files! Bur first, I want some pizza cookies! I'm so hungry my stomach is eating itself, okay Zim? Zim?"

"WHO IS VICTORIA?"

 _I should be used to his randomness by now,_ Gaz thought to herself as she turned to see her partner staring at her personal Hell. "Oh Zim, please no….."

"You heard me!" Zim screeched at her. "WHO IS VICTORIA AND WHAT IS HER SECRET?"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Zim, her secret is nothing that would interest you."

"Oh? And how do YOU know what secrets I want to know?" Zim frowned at her. "How do you know her secret won't help us with our plans for world dominations?"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "I doubt fluffy, pink bras will help us conquer the world."

Zim laughed. "Maybe in YOUR hands they won't, but I've had much more experience when it comes to tools of world domination! Watch me Little Gaz, as I conquer this 'bra' and use it to KILL ALL HUMANS! Bye-bye!" And with that, the small Irken raced inside the horribly girly store.

"Zim, come back! You're too naïve to experience a chick store!"

Oh, if only the stubborn alien had listened to her. For as soon as Zim entered, he wanted to gouge his eyes out. Everywhere he looked he saw a poster of a woman wearing unbelievably revealing armor. They came in many designs, including polka-dots, stripes, and just plain PINK! That's really what was making Zim want to run and cry in horror. He had never seen so much PINK in his life!

"GIR….I'm frightened," Zim whispered, tightening his grip on his robot's leash.

"Want me to hold your claw?" Gaz teased, appearing behind him.

Zim instantly straightened out. "No need, little baby human. Zim can handle the disgustingly girly armor store."

"….'Armor store'? Zim, this stuff isn't armor!"

"LIES!" Zim bellowed. He grumbled to himself as he marched over to one of the clothes bins. He picked up a pink bra with white polka-dots. "If this isn't an armor store, then how do you explain these soft breast plates, huh?"

"Zim…that's a bra."

"Ah-HA! One of the human Victoria's secrets, huh? Well, wait until she finds out that I, THE ALMIGHTY ZIM, have obtained some of her sickening armor! Won't she be heartbroken to discover that her creation led to the downfall of her people? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"….It's a bra, Zim."

Zim ignored her. "And just look at these soft panties! They must be used to enhance one's flexibility in battle!" he said.

"That would be underwear."

Zim blinked. "Under where?"

Gaz sighed. "Zim, if I buy you a bra to experiment on, can we leave? Like immediately?"

Zim checked his surroundings, and grimaced once again. So…..much…..PINK! He decided to take the girl up on her offer. "Fine. But make it quick."

Gaz scowled at him before grabbing a bra, and heading for the cash register. She sat it on the counter. "Can I buy this for my friend over there?" she said, pointing towards Zim, who was now stretching some underwear to test its elasticity.

The woman behind the counter blinked. "Um….isn't he a guy?"

Gaz shrugged.

Zim tapped his foot impatiently as his partner bought him a piece of Victoria's armor. He knew one thing for sure though. When the time came for him to use the 'bra', he was dying it black or red. He wouldn't be caught dead wearing pink!

"MASTAH!" GIR cheered, handing his master a small, purple bottle. "It smells like a dream. DREAM!"

"Is it a stink-bomb?" Zim asked, raising a non-existent eyebrow, and reluctantly grabbing the bottle. Slowly, he squirted the substance in the air. With much hesitation, he sniffed the air he had sprayed. His eyes widened at the familiar scent. _Lavender._ It smelled just like the Gaz-human. He quickly sprayed the air again and inhaled it deeply before exhaling contently. Oh yeah, he was addicted to this smell.

Making sure no one was watching, he quickly hid the wonderful smell inside his PAK. Yes, he was going to steal it. He _could_ just order the Dib-sister to buy it for him, but then she would ask questions, and he REALLY didn't want to tell her he was buying it because it smelled just like her _wonderful_ scent.

Deciding to wait for his partner outside (the pink was _really_ starting to hurt his eyes), he turned around, and began to walk away.

**SMASH!**

Zim toppled backwards as he crashed into something cold and hard. "HEY! Watch where you're-!" Zim's mouth dropped open at the sight before him.

It was a human. A human that was wearing Victoria-human's armor. But the human was obviously dead. Its skin was pale white, and it wasn't moving a muscle. That….and it didn't have a head. The human must have been long dead, for there was no blood seeping from its neck.

Zim checked for a pulse. Nothing. He grabbed the dead human's hand. It was ice cold…..so ice cold it felt like plastic. The invader shook his head.

Mistress Victoria must be a cruel dictator.

* * *

"Zim, I'm telling you or the last time: It was just a mannequin."

"Call it whatever you like, Earth-girl. All I know is that Mistress Victoria could be an AWESOME Irken invader!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Whatever, we're never going into that store again. And if I catch you trying this bra on later, I'll take pictures and send them to Dib."

Zim smiled a cruel smile. "I would actually like that. Let your brother see me in the armor of the merciless Victoria!"

Gaz smiled a dark smile. "Trust me, I will."

The alien gave a little shudder. "I just wish it didn't have to be so….PINK!"

Gaz opened one of her eyes. "Um…Zim? Isn't your Irken uniform pink?"

"FOOLISH HUMAN!" Zim scowled. "It's not pink! It's very, very, very, very, very, very bright red!"

"Whatever." Suddenly, the girl's eyes shifted towards a store coming up on their right. "Zim! We need to stop here!"

"Hm?" Zim turned his head to follow her gaze. What he saw was an extremely goth looking store with disturbing looking materials hanging on one side of the room, and cute and adorable ones on the other side. It was a strange combo, but it had enough customers. _"Hot Spot?_ Why do you want to go in _there_?"

"It's where I get my clothes," Gaz told him. "And let's not forget you just shopped in a chick store. C'mon, I want to head in there before I get my pizza."

Zim grunted, looking at the customers that dressed quiet similarly to the girl right next to him. "I don't know….I don't want to get mugged."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "You won't as long as I hold the bra. I just want to see if they have any new skull pendants."

Zim rolled his fake eyes, but decided to just go with it. "Fine, but let's make it quick."

Gaz sighed, and walked into one of the only three stores she could tolerate. She inhaled the scent of the place that helped her present herself as a social outcast. Not waiting up for Zim, she quickly made her way to the pendants.

When Zim entered the _Hot Spot,_ he was almost knocked off his feet by the sound of loud, heavy metal music. Almost instantly, he got lost in all the different materials perched on the shelves. Most of the images made him sick to his stomach, and not just the laughing clown pictures. There were T-shirts with super heroes, mouthless kittens, a young girl hanging onto a man who looked like he used WAY too much hair gel, and a skeleton with a scar-covered woman. He looked around desperately for the human who dragged him in here. "Dib-sister? DIB-SISTER! DON'T YOU LEAVE ZIM HERE!"

"OVER HERE, YOU WHINER!"

Zim quickly pulled GIR towards the sound of the dark girl's voice. He sighed in relief when he found her inspecting some skulls. "Dib-sister, you cannot just abandon us when we have no layout of the land!"

Gaz looked up from her skull. "Zim, you were right by the entrance…..and the store's not that big."

"SO? This is worse than the time Zim followed you into that pizza-filth cavern you like! I STILL have nightmares of those cave monsters!"

The pale girl checked her surroundings. "Zim, there aren't any cave monsters around here."

"THEY HAVE PICTURES OF MOUTHLESS CAT-BEASTS! HOW SICK IS THAT?" Zim wailed.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Are you talking about _Hello Kitty_?"

"And how is this 'kitty' supposed to say hello without a mouth?" Zim asked. "And I- hey, what's that?" he asked, pointing towards a collection of clothes.

Gaz followed his gaze. "Oh, that? That's the _Pimp the Conqueror_ collection _."_

Zim tilted his head. "Who?"

Gaz made her way over to the hoodies, T-shirts, and key chains decorating the walls. "It's a show that got cancelled a long time ago. It was pretty good. Funny, but a little disturbing. Just the way I like it."

Zim tapped his chin. "What was it about?"

"It was about a swamp monster named Pimp who was determined to take over his lake. He was pretty smart, but his ego always got in the way. Every time he got a brilliant idea, he would find a way to screw it up."

"What a loser," Zims shook his head sympathetically.

Gaz nodded. "Yeah, he was everybody's second favorite character in the show. Everyone loved his huge ego and his hilarious mistakes."

The Irken tilted his head to the side. "Hm? 'Second favorite'? Who was the first?"

"As awesome as Pimp was, he didn't compare to his cute robot-cat, Roar. Don't ask me how they got him underwater. He was always shouting random things, and obsessing over food."

Zim was impressed. Sounded like an awesome show. "Whatever happened to it?"

Gaz frowned. "It got replaced by a washcloth."

"You're joking."

"No, soon _Pimp the Conquerer_ was gone, and _Washbob Clothpants_ took its place. It was a tragic event."

Hm," Zim pouted.

"WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?" GIR wailed.

"HEY GAZ! TIME NO SEE!"

Zim grimaced at the annoying voice erupting behind them, but soon forgot about that as his partner's closed eyes shot open in….what, fear? He felt his nerves tense up as the girl began to shake violently.

"Um….Dib-sister?"

Gaz flinched. "He's coming! Quick! Hide me in your PAK!"

Zim took a few steps back. "What are you talking about? _Who's_ coming?"

" _Him!"_ the scary girl hissed. "That disgusting, ugly, annoying, pudgy-"

"HEY GAZ!"

The girl bowed her head in defeat. She should have made a run for it. "Hello Iggens."

Zim gave a soft chuckle. "Heh, 'Iggens'? Who is this-SWEET MOTHER OF IRK!" the alien screeched. Standing right before him… _had_ to be the ugliest human he had ever seen. He was short, with a blob of fat hanging over his pants. The boy's eyes were bulging from their sockets… _literally._ He had crooked teeth, and greasy green hair. He was scarier than anything this store had to offer.

This 'Iggens' boy gave the pale girl a little wave. "Hey BABE, whatcha' doin' here?"

Gaz grimaced at his flirting tone. "Just looking at the merchandise," she groaned.

Iggens giggled like a maniac. "I'm surprised you aren't out trying to steal someone's new video game! Or strangling a batch of kittens! Or scaring some babies!"

Gaz groaned, and covered her face with her hands. She thought that when she had stalked Iggens until he gave her his video game, and caused him to have a serious elevator accident, he would never want to see her again. Any _sane_ person would. But that fall must have done something to him, because as soon as he had pulled himself out of the rubble, he became _obsessed_ with the girl who had terrorized him. He loved her ways, her loved the way she dressed, and he loved her sharp words. He was smitten for the dark girl.

"Nope. Just shopping," she told him. The feeling was definitely _not_ mutual.

Iggens nodded. "You know Gaz, I just beat the Gameslave 3 last night! I know it hasn't been released yet, but you know, I know a few guys! I could order you one… in exchange for a little _alone_ time."

Gaz didn't bat an eye. "I can wait."

Iggens was about to try to sweeten the deal….but then noticed that his angel of darkness was not alone. He looked over the green boy was looking at him in disgust. "Um….who is _this?"_

Gaz looked over at her partner. "This is Zim."

"The ALMIGHTY Zim, thank you very much!" Zim announced. "Take a good look, worm-baby. This is the face of your future king!"

Gaz just stared at him. "How have you not been discovered yet?"

Iggens glared at the guy who was hanging out with _his_ Gazzy-poo. "I see….and what is he to you?"

"He's my partner…..in science," Gaz thought up. She quickly sent her partner a thumbs-up, silently asking him if he was good with that cover-up. Zim returned the gesture.

Iggens snorted. "Hm….he looks like a creep. Just looking at his face makes me want to puke."

Zim opened his mouth to remind the boy that at least _his_ eyes were in their sockets, but was interrupted by his young partner. "He's better looking than you."

Well, _that_ left the poor Irken dumbstruck. Not only had his partner complimented him, but she had _defended_ him. Obviously Zim knew he was better looking than the human before him, but to hear the girl who was supposed to hate him say it….it astounded him. Not knowing how to respond, he nodded his head in agreement.

Iggens scoffed. "Whatever! C'mon Gaz! Lose the zero, and get with the hero!"

"Oh, you did not just use that line."

"C'mon sweet THANG!" Iggens flirted, snorting a bit. He grabbed her hand with his clammy hand. "Let's go get some ice cream and see if we're a match."

"Boy, you better let go of my hand," Gaz warned. Her hair was staring to flicker with purple flames.

"C'mon! Who wouldn't want to date the hottest video game player in the world?"

"Me," Gaz said simply.

"I'll pay you to go on a date with me."

"I'm not for sale."

"Just ONE date!"

"No."

"Half a date?"

"No means YOU BETTER GET AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I SEND YOU INTO _ANOTHER_ NIGHTMARE WORLD!"

Iggens sighed in contentment. "Aw, you're so hot when you're bad…."

 _Okay, I can't watch this anymore,_ Zim thought to himself, swallowing the bile that had risen in his throat. He turned to his disguised SIR unit. "GIIIIIIIIR…..there are tacos in that human boy's head."

GIR's usually lazy eyes instantly locked onto the ugly boy. "TAAAACCCCOOOOOOOSSS! COME HERE, BABY!" And in another instant, the small robot had latched onto the huge boy's face.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Iggens screamed, releasing Gaz so he could try to yank the monstrosity off of his face. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! I'M ALLERGIC TO GREEN DOGS THAT CAN TALK!" he wailed, running blindly throughout the store.

Gaz sighed in relief. She turned her head towards her partner. "Thanks."

Zim gave a little smirk. " _No one_ deserves to be talked to by that human. Not even you, Gaz-human."

The dark girl raised an eyebrow, then smirked. "Stop it, you're going to make me cry."

* * *

"PWWWWWWEAAAASE GAZZY?"

"GIR, no."

"WWWHHHHHHHHYYYY?"

"I just have a strong feeling that I'm going to regret giving you all this junk food later."

But I neeeeeeeeeeds it! If I dons have it, I wills become dead!"

"Are you serious?"

"Don't let me die."

Gaz rolled her eyes, and pulled out another pizza cookie from her shopping back. "Fine, but just ONE more."

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" GIR cheered, munching into his tasty treat.

After ditching Iggens when he crashed into the water fountain, Gaz finally found herself in the pizzeria. She instantly ordered as many pizza cookies she could get her hands on. Zim had been disgusted by the scent of the pizza, and had refused to even enter the store. Of course, Gaz didn't let that stop her, and she had just went on without him.

Gaz bit into another pizza cookie, all while staring at Zim, who was leaning on a wall far from her and her food. "You know, most would say that cookies and pizza were never meant to be combined….but the pepperonis really compliment the chocolate chips."

GIR hugged the last bite of his strange treat. "I'm in loooooooooove."

Gaz smiled and patted the robot's head. "Me too, little guy. Me too."

From his spot on the other side of wall, Zim growled in annoyance. His partner and his SIR unit's new 'friendship' was really grounding on his nerves. GIR was insulting Zim's entire race by willingly spending time with the human girl, and as for the human girl herself…..wasn't she supposed to be EVIL? That's always the way the Irken invader interpreted her, yet lately….she just looked like a moody girl who wanted revenge on the planet that hurt her.

Zim quickly shook his head. Wow, how close had he been observing this human? It wasn't that he liked her because he STILL didn't…..it was the fact that she was SO confusing. She was like a puzzle he couldn't solve, and it was driving him NUTS! On the outside, she appeared to be a heartless, demonic human….but if that was true, then why did she befriend GIR? Why was she so concerned for his SIR unit? Why did she always seem to get emotional when he mentioned the human 'love' around her? WHY COULDN'T SHE JUST BE ANOTHER SIMPLE, EASY-TO-JUDGE HUMAN?

…But then he never would have teamed up with her in the first place, would he?

Zim grumbled and shook his head. He had more important things to worry about…like WHERE THE HECK THOSE MILITARY FILES WERE HIDDEN? Argh, he never should have underestimated this mall fortress! He should have brought some of his precious technology with him! They had been in this horrid place for hours, and he was starting to get…okay, he was _beyond_ frustrated.

His fake eyes slowly roamed over towards an obese human security guard eating one of the Earthly donuts. A sly grin appeared on the invader's lips. Maybe….maybe he didn't have to search the entire facility for his prize. Humans _were_ pretty stupid. He released a cruel snicker. _Humans are so gullible….I should have no problem with tricking one of them into revealing the location of their precious secrets! HA! Why did I not think of this before? I blame the blood loss from when that Earth child tore my flesh. It must have affected my brain._

Trying to keep a calm composure, Zim casually strode over to the human guard. He cleared his throat. "Hello fat human-worm."

The guard snapped his head to the right. " _Mother?_ Is that you? I TOLD YOU TO STOP FOLLOWING ME TO WORK!"

Zim's mouth dropped open in shock. How…How _dare_ he? "I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER-UNIT FILTHY HUMAN!"

The guard checked his surroundings. "Who said that?"

Zim gritted his teeth. "Down…. _here."_

The guard turned his head downwards to find a small, green child looking at his with murderous expression. "Oh….hey little guy. I didn't see you because you're so short."

 _You need him for information….you need him for information,_ Zim chanted to himself, trying to restrain himself for doing something he'll regret…possibly. He took a deep breath and said, "How does it feel, human?"

The guard raised an eyebrow. "Uh…what?"

Zim smiled, showing his zipper-like teeth. "How does it feel knowing that I, the GREAT ZIM, have found your precious military secrets?"

The guard tilted his head to the side. "Um….what?"

"You heard me! HA! Did your military lord honestly think he could keep those valuable codes from the unbearably awesome ZIIIIIIM?"

The guard gave Zim and 'are-you-crazy' look. "What? I don't work for the military! Heh, I WISH!"

Zim frowned. "Don't bother lying! It's futile! Go home and spend the last few minutes of your life with your mother-unit! For Zim will destroy you all with military information he found in the….?" He trailed off, hoping the guard would finish for him.

"What are you talking about? WHAT codes? Are you talking about the game codes in _Gamepause?_ Jeesh, what's with you nerds? I don't care what enemies you defeat in those stupid video games!"

Zim gave him a blank stare. This human wasn't frightened by the false information at all! He didn't even know what he was talking about! But…did that mean… "Are you serious?" Zim asked quietly. "There is no information about Earth's military in this fortress?"

The human guard laughed. "Are you kidding? Why would we keep information about the military in a MALL? There are teenagers EVERYWHERE! They'd get stolen in an instant!"

Zim's mouth once again dropped open. He felt his legs began to shake. Wasted. Another whole day…..wasted. He had wasted three whole days he needed to train the Gaz-human for-

_Gaz-human._

Zim quickly switched his gaze over to the human girl was eating another one her disgusting Earth treats. She lied to him.

She _lied_ to him.

She tricked him. She deceived him. She played him for a fool. And somehow….. _somehow_ …it hurt the green alien. Without even realizing it, Zim had begun to trust the human girl. Like? No. But still, he thought they were on the same side. He knew she would never cease trying to humiliate him, but he _foolishly_ believed she would be there when it got serious. He believed she would take their mission seriously, even if she didn't do the same for _him._ But she had lied. She had used _his_ undying crave to conquer the planet for her own personal benefits. He felt betrayed.

His vision growing red, Zim angrily clenched his fists. He felt something inside him snap. He had never wanted to kill the girl more than he did at that moment. One thing was certain: _This_ was the final straw. She wasn't worth. She just _wasn't_ worth it. It was time to take care of this putrid human once and for all.

Anger boiling his blood, Zim marched over to the girl who had been making his life a living nightmare for the past few days.

Gaz watched as her partner marched over to her with a scowl on his face. She swallowed her pizza cookie. What was _his_ problem? She smirked. "What? I thought the smell of my food made you-"

"WHY?" Zim screamed at her.

Gaz didn't flinch. She was used to his screaming by now. "Why what?"

"Why did you lie to me, human filth? Why did you drag me into USELESS mall?" Zim sneered.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Huh…..oh! You mean about the military files?"

Zim nodded slowly.

The pale girl grimaced. "Oh…you found out about that, huh?"

"YES!" the Irken snapped.

Gaz shrugged. "Well….I really needed to try this pizza cookie, and you weren't going to come willingly, so….I told a little fib."

"You LIED!" Zim bellowed. Did she not understand how serious this was? Didn't she know by now how he felt about liars?

"Yeah, so?"

Zim felt his blood boil once again. "What do you mean 'yeah, so'? What ELSE have you been lying to me about? Have you been secretly giving Dib information about my base? Have you been taking photos of me and sending them to your human government? IS THAT EVEN YOUR NATURAL HAIR COLOR?"

"Doubt it," GIR spoke up.

Gaz rolled her eyes. Why did this alien have to be so dramatic? "Zim, calm down."

Zim pointed towards the bra he had purchased. "I'LL BET THAT'S NOT EVEN REAL ARMOR!"

"Duh!" Gaz exclaimed. "Zim, will you just forget about it? This isn't the worse thing I've ever done to you. You just need to-"

"NO!" Zim snapped. "I don't care if my Tallest destroy me! I can't stand you for another minute! YOU'RE FIRED!"

"WHAT?" Gaz cried.

GIR's ears perked up. "Mastah say what?"

"YOU HEARD ME!" Zim screamed, attracting the attention of some random humans. "I want you out of my plans! I want you out of my base! I want you out of my LIFE!"

"Harsh," some random kid whispered.

Gaz's mouth dropped open in shock. She had no idea Zim would react _this_ badly over her trick. She knew he wouldn't be pleased, but she didn't expect him to actually _fire_ her. For a minute, she actually considered apologizing. She _did_ lie to him, and she should've known by now that he couldn't stand being lied to. And true, she _had_ been pushing the invader ever since they teamed up, and she really hadn't been doing her fair share of the work. She was clearly the one at fault.

But, _no._ Her pride wouldn't let her apologize.

"FINE!" she screamed back. "I don't need you! You're just as bad as my brother! I don't know how I put up with you for so long! Good-bye, 'almighty' Zim!" She gave him one last look before heading out the door.

But Zim wasn't letting her leave with the final word. "THAT'S RIGHT! WALK AWAY!"

"HAVE FUN GETTING KILLED BY YOUR TALLEST!" Gaz shouted back.

"I WILL!"

"THAT'S STUPID!"

"WHO CARES, I'M AWESOME!" Zim fumed as the girl walked out on him for the last time.

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" GIR wailed, tears streaming from his eyes. " GAZZY! COME BACK! WE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES YOU!"

Zim shook his head. "GIR, she's gone. Let it go."

GIR sniffed. "I feel dead inside."

"You're a robot, that's natural," his master sighed. For reasons unknown, Zim continued to stare at the door his (once again) ex-partner had stormed out of. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice a young human had walked up next to him, until he felt a tender hand on his shoulder.

"And just like that, she was out of your life," the man said. "I've been there, man. But don't worry, it's for the best. No amount of female expectations is worth a man's pride. Once, I had a wide named Dae. She was a beautiful woman. We were totally in love. She was a nurse, and I was a rock star. But one day, she came up to me and told me she wanted me to be a doctor. I told her that wasn't my dream, but she still insisted I go to medical school. Finally, I told her that she had to pick between my job and me. If she couldn't handle the fact that I was born to be a rock star, then there was no future for us. So, she called me a few hurtful words, packed her bags, and left. In the end, I lost the girl, but kept my job. Be strong. You'll get through this."

Zim gave the boy a blank stare. "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME? GET AWAY FROM ME HUMAN EARTH-WORM!"

* * *

_Stupid Zim….This entire planet is populated by idiots…why did I think he would be any different?_

Gaz shook her head angrily as she made her way…where? Back home? Had Dib ever taken notice that she was gone? Probably not. Was she really going to return to her neglectful family? Did she have a choice?

Gaz bit her lower lip. She was really all alone this time. Zim hadn't really been her friend, but he still put up with her. Sure, it was against his will, but still. Now…now she had no one. Not even GIR. Usually, she would like the isolation, but to be completely on her own….she needed her Gameslave.

Taking a deep breath, she began to rub her arms to provide warmth for her tiny body. Was this what it came to? She was so tired of being alone that she depended on _Zim_ to provide her with company? Heh, it was almost funny…. always _right_ when she decided that she didn't want to be alone anymore, she would find a way to scare off the only ones who would put up with her. It was sad really.

Well…so what? She was Gaz Membrane. She was independent! She didn't need anybody but herself! She pushed people away for a reason, and it was to be alone. And of course, she _knew_ this, it was just….

She never had anybody to talk to. No one understood her. No one shared the same interests as her. She was _way_ scarier than any of the other goths, so they usually avoided her. Hm, no wonder she didn't like to hang out with anyone. Where was she supposed to find someone who loved to talk about dark things, and killing the human race like she did?

 _Uh, you just ticked off the one person who DID,_ a voice said in her head.

Gaz quickly shook her head. Ohhhhh no. She may have begun to enjoy Zim's company, but there was no way she would want to start 'hanging out' with him. There was something oddly disgusting about the thought. He was….and she was…they couldn't possibly be….although they _did_ share a lot in common….and sure he was crazy, but didn't she one time admit to herself that it amused her?

Gaz stopped walking abruptly. A thought was starting to form in her mind. As isolated as she liked to be most of the time, she _did_ need a friend to be there when her family wasn't. Zim had been unknowingly doing that. Which lead to another thought: Why _didn't_ she accept Zim as a friend? If they put aside the different species thing….wouldn't the two of them be like, the perfect duo?

What was so wrong about having Invader Zim as a friend?

Before the girl could continue these thoughts, a warm hand suddenly clapped over her mouth. Gaz's eyes widened as she released a startled scream, but it had no effect. She squirmed and thrashed as she was pulled into a dark alleyway.

Growling in anger, Gaz bit down as hard as she could on her captor's hand. "LET ME GO YOU FREAK!" She winced in pain as a hand grabbed her hair and yanked it.

"Hold still, lovely. Vixen will be upset if his precious Dark Source gets hurt."

* * *

"GIR, stop whining."

"But I miss Gaaaaaaaaaazzzzyyyy…"

"Well, DON'T! She's pure evil."

"I knoooooowwww…"

"Stupid girl….what was I thinking?" Zim said aloud, as they walked out of the dreaded mall. "I mean, she's the sister-unit of the Dib-monster! Shouldn't that haven't given me a hint not to trust her?"

"But she was our frieeeeeeeeend!"

"No GIR, she was not _my_ friend," Zim frowned. "But who cares? I'm glad she's gone! Hiring her had been a mistake."

"LIAR!" GIR shouted.

"DON'T YOU STEAL ZIM'S LINE!"

"But…" GIR sniffed. "Pickles-"

"LET ME GO YOU FREAK!"

Both Zim and GIR jumped in unison at the sound of a very familiar voice screaming out in rage. They both turned their heads towards the nearest alley, knowing that it was where the scream had come from.

Zim tilted his head to the side. "Gaz-human…?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! ALIENS!" GIR cried out in horror.

"GIR, the only aliens here are us. That was just the Dib-sister….she sounds like she's in danger."

"Oh…" GIR whispered. He stood there. He scratched his ear. He played with his fake tongue. "It's warm tonight."

Zim nodded. "Yes, yes it-"

"OH NOOOOOOOOOO! GAZZY IS IN TWUBLE!" GIR wailed, his whole world obviously coming to an end. "MASTAH, SAVE HER!"

Zim snorted. "And why would I do that?"

GIR sniffled. "Because….you wuv her."

Zim stared at his robot for a minute before throwing back his head in laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice one, GIR! Whoo! Anyway, I'd say it's high time we went back to the base and-"

" _You're going to LEAVE her there?"_

Zim paused dramatically, as his eyes shifted wildly. "GIR…did you hear that?"

"Taco?" GIR looked up at him.

The Irken bit his lower lip. "I could've wore I heard-"

" _You know you need to save her, Zim."_

Zim clenched his teeth. "There it is again! WHO ARE YOU, MYSTERIOUS VOICE? SHOW YOURSELF TO ZIM!"

" _Zim, be patient."_

"Wow….your voice sounds retarded…" Zim muttered.

" _Well, there's a very good reason for that."_

The small invader coughed as a cloud of smoke appeared on his left shoulder. When he opened his eyes, he was thoroughly convinced he was just as crazy as his arch-enemy. There on his left shoulder was a miniature version….of himself! Only this tiny Zim was wearing a long, white robe and had a halo above his head.

Naturally, Zim freaked out a bit.

"WHAT IS THIS? WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME? AND WHY ARE YOU WEARING A DRESS?" he bellowed.

" _Zim, you need to chill, okay? Listen, I am your Shoulder Angel."_

Zim blinked. "I'm sorry, what? I have _angels_ living in my shoulder? Well….I guess that explains why I occasionally hear singing when there's no one around."

Zim Angel rubbed his arm nervously. _"Yeah…sorry about that. I like to sing when I take showers in the morning."_

"Wait…wha-?"

" _Zim, I represent the goodness in you. I represent the side of you that isn't tainted by evil."_

Out of all the insults Zim had received that night, this was the worst. "WHAT NONSENSE DO YOU SPEAK? THERE IS NO GOOD IN ZIM!"

His shoulder angel waved a tiny hand. _"Zim, there is good in everyone. There is no such thing as conscienceless being."_

Zim looked surprised. "Even the Dib-stink?"

" _Yes, believe it or not, there's good in him too."_

"Woah," Zim muttered. "So….basically….everyone has some good in them?"

" _Yes…..well, everyone except those fanfiction writers who have a good story going on, then they just stop writing it without any explanation! Those people have no souls."_

"Oh, well then-"

" **Don't listen to that wimp!"**

Zim jumped as another cloud of smoke appeared, revealing yet another miniature version of himself, but this time it he was dressed in a devil get-up. Zim frowned. "All right, how many demons do I have living in my shoulders?"

Shoulder Angel rolled his eyes. "That's your Shoulder Devil. He's the conscience you usually chose to listen to. He represents all the evil in you."

" **I don't need you to introduce me!"** Shoulder Devil sneered.

Zim nodded in acknowledgement. "Okay….but I've been alive for over a hundred years. How come you guys have never shown yourselves to me before?"

" **Didn't feel like it,"** Shoulder Devil said, while Shoulder Angel nodded in agreement.

"So why are you two here _now_?" Zim grumbled.

" _Zim, you have to save Gaz,"_ Shoulder Angel told him. _"She could be in terrible danger!"_

Zim rolled his eyes. "She can take care of herself! And besides, what do I care?"

" _If this was a human, then yes. She could easily stop him,"_ Shoulder Angel told him.

" **But it's not! She's been captured by another alien! Ironic, right?"** Shoulder Devil smiled.

 _This_ caught the Irken's attention. "What? Another alien? But how is that possible? I should-wait, aren't you guys like, part of me?"

" _Yep, pretty much,"_ Shoulder Angel nodded.

"Well, if I didn't know the captor was an alien, how did you?" Zim questioned.

A moment of silence before Shoulder Devil announced, **"Do not question your conscience."**

Zim grunted. "Whatever, I'm going home."

" _No Zim! You have to save Gaz! Who knows what these aliens want with her?"_

"Oh, so you _don't_ know that?" Zim scoffed.

" **Forget it, Zim! She's not worth your time! If she gets killed, so what? It's high time SOMEONE put that filthy human in her place!"**

Zim was about to agree to the comment, but was interrupted by his 'good' side saying, _"Zim, you can't just leave her! You have to admit, despite her disrespect, she's not half bad."_

" **Are you kidding? She's disrespectful, annoying, bossy-"**

" _She's DIFFERENT,"_ Shoulder Angel stressed. He looked up at body he inhabited. _"Zim, bossy and arrogant as she is, she is the only human on this planet with a brain and independence. Are you going to let a human like that die? Doesn't she have enough of your respect for you to rescue her from danger? And don't try to deny it, Zim. You respect her."_

Zim was surprised to find himself actually pondering the words of his conscience. He _knew_ the Gaz-human was different from the rest of her race. That was the main reason he had hired her in the first place. So…yeah, she _must_ have his respect. If Earth lost the one human they had who could actually use her brain….it would be a great tragedy. Did he really want the one human who had earned his respect to be gone forever?

"But….I don't save people!" he said aloud.

" **Great, now can we just go home and pretend like we never met her?"**

" _You're so insensitive, you know that?"_

" **DUH! I'm the bad side, remember?"**

" _Well, you can be the bad side, and still have some consideration for others!"_

" **Um…not really."**

" _Hm! Typical!"_

" **Hey, at least I don't go around wearing a dress!"**

" _It's not a dress! It's a robe!"_

" **Like that's any better?"**

" _YOU WANT A PIECE OF ZIM'S SHOULDER ANGEL?"_

" **Oh, real angel-like!"**

" _Don't think just because I'm the good side that means I can't fight you!"_

" **You can?"**

" _Uh….okay, no I can't."_

" **Knew it."**

" _But that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about it!"_

" **Ugh…baby!"**

" _JERK!"_

" **WIMP!"**

" _FIEND!"_

" **Seriously?"**

" _CRUDE!"_

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Zim suddenly bellowed. "Shut up now before I kill you both!"

" **You can't kill us, Zim. We're not even real. We're just part of a cliché, yet not recently used, conflicting emotions gag."**

Zim sighed in exhaustion. "Can you two please disappear now? I'll figure this out on my own."

" _Very well,"_ Shoulder Angel nodded. _"But Zim please…..follow your heart. For once."_

" **He doesn't have a heart."**

" _Oh SURE! RUIN THE DRAMATICLY DEEP EXIT!"_ And in another instant, they were both gone.

Zim sighed again as soon as they were gone. He _hoped_ he would be able to deal with this on his own. Funny, a few days ago he never even _considered_ saving another being other than himself. The Gaz-human….she was special. Annoying as dooky, but special. He groaned. "GIR…..what do I do?"

"LET'S SAVE THE PRINCESS!" GIR screeched, suddenly clinging onto his master's face.

Zim struggled to remove the annoyance from his face. "GIR! No, NO! GIR! RELEASE ME! THIS IS NOT HELP-!" He winced as he fell over, accidentally pressing a button on his PAK, causing the contents inside to scatter across the ground….which thankfully wasn't much. "Oh, nice GIR! You made me drop the 'bra'!"

"Dons forget the smelly good stuff!" GIR grinned.

Zim raised a non-existent eyebrow, before looking down at the ground. _The stink bomb!_ Zim thought to himself. He quickly grabbed the bottle that contained the smell of the Dib-sister. He was relieved to find it wasn't damaged. _Thank Irk it's all right! It's such a mysterious, unique thing….if anything ever happened to her…._

Zim's eyes widened at the slip-up….or was it just a realization? Looking down at the bottle once more, he eyes roamed over to the alleyway where the human girl had screamed in rage. "Gaz-human…."

GIR giggled. "You know Mastah, is a good thing this is not a fanfiction, 'cause this is probably the part where the author would leave the story in a cliffhanger! Hehe, I'd feel bad for those humans!"


	8. Getting Closer

"Ow, ow, OW!"

"Quit your whining!"

"She's GNAWING my hand off! I'll whine if I want!"

The Vesen rolled his eyes before pulling the young girl off his partner's wrist. "Now….play nicely, little girl."

"Not until I'm DEAD!" Gaz screeched, raking her nails through the hideous alien's skin.

He flinched, but didn't let go. Instead, he roughly grabbed her by her violet hair and slammed her into the ground. "I would gladly arrange that, but Vixen needs you alive for the draining."

"Who _are_ you freaks?" Gaz struggled to say. Her anger was starting to peak. She _did not_ enjoy being manhandled.

"Look who's calling who a freak," the first Vesen sneered.

The Vesen who had her pinned down chuckled darkly. "Worry not, Gazlene. You'll find out who we are eventually."

The first Vesen threw back his head in laughter. "Yes, we're the Vesen. Our job is to bring you back to Vixen to-"

"I just said she would find out _eventually,_ Vector! Not in five seconds!"

"Well, maybe you should have been more specific, Vyrice!"

"Uh…I _knew_ Vixen's experiments would mess up your head!"

"Oh, so you get to tell her THAT?"

"That you've been experimented on? Yeah."

"No, that Vixen is brilliant scientist!"

" _Why did you tell her that?"_

"Derp! I DIDN'T! YOU did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Did too!"

Gaz rolled her eyes as she struggled to remove herself from their Vyrice's tight grip. "All right, how many stupid aliens are hiding in my planet?"

Vyrice turned his attention back to her. "That's right….where's that little green friend of yours? I'm sure Vixen could use him to test some of his rather…. _hazardous_ experiments on."

Gaz leered up at him. "Forget it! You can't have him!" she found herself saying. Realizing what she just said, she struggled to keep the blush off her face. Why was she so concerned about him? He fired her and…..ahhh, forget it. She was tired of listening to reason. Plain and simple, she didn't want him hurt. She didn't know why. She didn't like the feeling. But it was true.

"So…you actually _care_ for that little idiot?" Vyrice grinned as her blush grew. "Hmm….that could be useful in the future…."

"But Vyrice, she doesn't _have_ a future!" Vector grinned cruelly.

"True enough," Vyrice snickered.

Gaz growled an animal-like growl. "Listen, you either pack your things and leave my planet, or else I'm going to-mph!" He words were muffled as Vyrice quickly threw a bag over head, tightening it so she couldn't shake it off.

"Hey, where'd you get that bag?" Vector questioned.

Vyrice didn't answer. "Good. We have her captive. Now all we need to do it get her on the ship."

"You did _not_ have that bag two seconds ago."

"And Vixen said she may be difficult to capture. What a fool."

"Did you like….pull it from behind you back?"

"Soon, her darkness will be drained, and then we will be free to roam and conquer the universe!"

"What else can you pull out of thin air?"

"What the-!" Vyrice screeched. He watched in horror as the young girl's body began to glow with purple flames. He shot back in fear. "Her power ….it's overflowing! Quickly! Grab the portable-drainer and get to work!"

"But…Vixen said _he_ wanted to do it…"

"Do YOU want to face her wrath once she burns away that bag…and more importantly, _my hands?"_

Vector fidgeted. "No…I love life."

"THEN DRAIN HER, DARN YOU!"

Vector gulped. "But….I don't even have a portable-drainer!"

Vyrice sighed before pulling one out from behind his back. "Here, make it quick! I can't hold her for much longer!"

Vector shook his head, muttering 'and this came from WHERE' before pointing it at the young girl. "Now hold still, young one." Pulling the trigger, a blue string of light shot into Gaz's body, causing her purple rage to decrease. They grinned as they watched her moan in pain.

"S-Sto-op…." her muffled voice groaned.

They threw back their heads in laughter.

"Insert heroic line here!"

Vyrice and Vector exchanged a look. "What?" they said in unison.

**ZAP!**

A strong beam of red light shot into the two hideous aliens, forcing them to release young Gaz, and cease their draining.

Feeling the Vesen's warm hands leave her arms, Gaz struggled to untie the filthy bag tied over face. She inhaled a gulp of clean air as it was suddenly yanked off her face. While taking deep breaths, she lifted her head to look into two blue contacts.

"Z-Zim?"

The Irken gave her a sly smile. "How's that for perfect timing?"

The pale girl shook away her dizziness. "You…you saved me?"

Zim slowly nodded. "Yes, it would appear so."

"Big mistake."

Zim and Gaz turned their heads to find the two Vesen regain their composures. Zim quickly helped his human companion to her feet as Vyrice said, "So…. _this_ is the Irken that has been meddling in our plans."

The Irken blinked a few times. "Um…when was this?"

"I don't know how, but these guys seem to know us from somewhere," Gaz muttered.

Zim chuckled nervously. "Oh….oh no! You must be mistaking me for someone else. You're talking about an Irken meddling with your plans? Yes, I believe a Miss. Tak said she was planning on doing just that. I suggest you execute her the minute you see her."

Vector tilted his head in confusion. "So….this is really her little Irken partner?" He had apparently ignored Zim's comment about Tak.

"Yes, what of it?' Vyrice questioned.

Vector shrugged. "It's just that…..I though the Irken was a boy."

Zim's mouth dropped open in shock. Gaz struggled to stifle her laughter. It wouldn't be right to laugh at her rescuer.

"See, that's what I was thinking," Vyrice agreed. "Maybe we read the job description wrong….."

"ZIM _IS_ A BOY, YOU MISERABLE CREATURES!" Zim bellowed.

Vyrice winced. "Oooh….that's sad."

Zim growled. "That's it! Zim's had enough of you ugly grey things! GIR! Now!"

There was a long pause.

Vector coughed.

Gaz looked at Zim and raised an eyebrow. The invader groaned and called, "GIIIIIIIIR? Remember the plan we went over 52 times? Yeah, IT'S TIME FOR THAT!"

They heard a voice come from around a corner. "Aw, do I have to do it now? I wanna watch the doggy make a tinkle on the mailman!"

Zim face-palmed. "GIR, I thought you loved the Dib-sister? If you don't do this, we're going to lose her!"

"But…DOGGGYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Oh for the love of-!"

"GIIIIIIIRRR," Gaz drawled. "GIR, these two grey crab…spider things have _tacos_ in their heads."

Vyrice shook his head. "Is it just me, or are these three unbelievably random?"

Vector nodded. "And who the heck is-"

"! Gimme."

The next thing Vector knew, he was pinned to the floor by a little robot. "What the-? GET THIS THING OFF ME!"

"How is he holding you down? He doesn't even come up to your KNEE!" Vyrice screeched.

"I dunno! Maybe 'tacos' is a keyword for- VYRICE! HE CHEWING MY HEAD! GET HIM OFF!"

Zim and Gaz watched in amusement as the two aliens struggled to remove the crazy robot. "So Dib-sister….should we fight or flight?"

Gaz didn't even stop to think about it. "Fight. Gaz Membrane doesn't run from a fight."

Zim gave a sinister chuckle. "And that's what I love about you."

The human girl froze after hearing the unfamiliar word come from her partner's mouth. Her eyes widened to their full glory. Did…he just…say…

Did he just say he loves something about her? He had complimented her. Not a grudgingly, reluctant compliment either, but a true, genuine word of affection.

Suddenly, she didn't even notice the two creatures in front of her anymore, nor the insane robot that was currently tearing of their faces. No one existed but her and Zim. For once in her life, she didn't think about her video games or pizza. All she wanted on her mind was her green companion.

No one had ever complimented her before. No one had ever given her praise. No one had ever said they loved _anything_ about her. But Zim just did. He didn't hate her. Well, at least he liked some things about her. And that was more than she had ever received in her entire life.

A foreign emotion suddenly bubbled up from the pits of her stomach. It was….strange. It was new. She wasn't sure she liked it, but she definitely wanted to act on it.

She wanted to make Zim proud. She wanted to show him that despite being a human, she could defend herself as well as any Irken could. Up until this point, she hadn't cared what the loud alien thought of her….but now, seeing him give her praise and even come to her rescue with a smile on his face….her wants rapidly changed. She wanted him to keep praising her. She wanted him to respect her, despite her species.

She wanted him to _like_ her.

OMG, she was going through some _serious_ character development. And it was making her uncomfortable.

"DIB-SISTER!"

Gaz was harshly snapped back into reality as the alien haunting her mind roughly pushed her out of the way of Vyrice's portable-drainer.

Said Vesen ground his teeth together. " _Cypto ,_ you stupid Irken!"

Zim pointed a tiny finger at his enemy. "Hey! Don't use that kind of language! I don't need GIR developing a potty mouth!"

Vyrice growled. "I don't care about- wait, 'GIR'?" He turned his head to look at the small bot still attacking his friend. "What does the 'G' stand for?"

"VICTORY!" Zim bellowed.

Vyrice shook his head. "That doesn't make any se-" But the hideous creature didn't get a chance to finish, for in another instant, he was pinned down by a very ticked Gaz Membrane.

She snarled. "Ready to die?"

"How did you knock me down? I'm like, ten times bigger than you!"

Her eyes grew slightly red. "Never question my abilities…." She pulled her hand back, ready to rake the horrible creature across the face…..but instead was instead knocked aside by a flying GIR.

"Ooof!"

"YAY! I BELIEVE I CAN FLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!"

Zim watched in horror as the human and robot crashed into a nearby wall, causing a sickening _crunch._ They had obviously not endured that attack unharmed.

Now, it was Zim's turn to experience a new emotion. Now, he had been angry before. Plenty of times. In fact, it was the one emotion he knew like the back of his claw. But it was either anger or frustration, nothing more.

But _this._ _This_ was something completely new. It started at the center of his sqeedily-spooch, and rose up into his throat, cutting of his air. Seeing the Gaz-human's blood seep through her beautiful hair, and GIR whimper at his busted arm….it made him see _red._ Violently shaking with rage, the Irken turned his steely gaze at the attacker.

After having thrown the little robot, Vector wiped the blood from his chewed up face. He scowled at his partner. "Hey, thanks for the help back there!"

Vyrice scratched his head. "You know, these kids sure take long pauses in between their attacks. I wonder if- OH! INTENSE PAIN!" He wailed as he felt sharp metal cut into his back.

Vector gasped. "VYRICE, THE IRKEN JUST CUT INTO YOUR BACK!"

Vyrice gasped in pain. "If I was an anime character….this is where I would fall in a comical fashion…."

His partner was about to make a comment, but was cut off as Zim's spider leg cut open his back as well. It wasn't enough to kill him, but that didn't mean it didn't leave a pretty deep wound. He glared darkly at the small alien who had dared attack him. "Why you little-"

"Leave this planet at once," Zim ordered, his voice deeply serious. "It is Zim's."

Vector chuckled. "We're not here to conquer Earth…..yet. We simply want the girl."

Without thinking, the Irken responded, "That's Zim's too!" He then activated his PAK's laser, using it to zap his enemies into the wall. He smirked when they groaned in pain. "Doesn't tickle, does it? That's right, suffer the wrath of the amazing ZIM!"

Vyrice growled. "That's it! I've had it up to here! Vector, get the girl! I'll handle this little punk!"

"Fine by me!"

Zim growled, preparing himself to protect the dark girl. They were out of their minds if they thought he was just going to let them take her! He was about to pull out his laser again, but before he could make a move, he received a sharp punch in his squeedily-spooch. As he winced in pain, Vyrice used his claw to grab the tiny alien by the throat.

The grey creature sneered. "Last chance Irken. Get. Lost."

Zim merely blew raspberry at him.

Vyrice shook his head in endearment. "Very well. You want to die so badly? Far be it from me to keep you from your grave," he grinned, before smashing him into the gravel.

By some ironic twist of fate, our favorite little goth's head finally stopped spinning long enough for her to focus on what was happening around her. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of a certain Irken being slammed into the ground. Releasing a feral growl, she tried to rush to his rescue….only to be reprimanded by the other Vesen.

"Going somewhere, dear?" Vector chuckled, trapping her in a headlock.

Gaz struggled to be released. "You'd better tell your little friend over there that he'd better release that Irken, unless he wants to be sent into a nightmare world!"

Vector frowned. "You know Gazlene, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a _thing_ for that Irken."

"WHAT?" Gaz screeched. She growled. This was the second time someone suspected them of being a couple! Why couldn't a boy and a girl have a relationship without people thinking they're dating? They weren't even the same species for crying out loud!

Her thoughts instantly snapped back to Zim as she watched him struggled to fend off the much larger Vesen. She had to help him. She knew he wouldn't be able to hold out for long. She struggled and thrashed in the hideous creature's grip. "LET. ME. GO!"

"Heh, as soon as you're locked up in our ship, no problem!" Vector chuckled, making his way out the alley. "Won't our Lord be happy to see you! You know, he's wanted to meet you since you were born! He's gonna-"

"AAAAAAHAHHHHAAAAAAAAA!"

Both Gaz and Vector turned their heads at the sound of a high pitched scream. For the first time in her life, Gaz saw someone in pain, and it did not make her happy. On the contrary, what she saw made her want to retch.

She was forced to watch Zim barely conscience, whimpering in pain. Vyrice, the evil alien, had the invader'sleg trapped under his crab leg, breaking every bone it came in contact with. Poor Zim tried to push him off, but that only made the Vesen ground harder. Zim released another cry of agony as tears of pain began to form in his eyes.

Gaz felt something in the one organ she thought had died a long time ago. She felt her rage hit it's breaking point. She felt her body glow with the familiar purple rage. It was the first time she had ever powered up on some else's expense. She felt her strength growing. Zim was immense pain and it was enraging her beyond belief. Now if she could just-

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

She watched in horror as a disgusting _snap_ echoed through the alleyway. Unable to take the pain anymore, the wounded Irken finally fell unconscious.

"Oooooh! He won't be able to feel that in the morning!" Vector chuckled.

Vyrice sent him smirk before pulling back his claw, getting ready to slice the Irken in half. "Oh, I love it when a plan comes together!"

"… **..Rrrrrrrrrrrr….."**

"Uh…..Vyrice?"

"Not now, Vector! I'm about to cut my greens!"

"But-"

"AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!"

Vyrice's head snapped up two seconds too late. In another instant, a raging human was scratching and clawing at his face, much harder than GIR ever could. She bit, kicked, punched, clawed, all while burning her opponent with her intense rage.

The Vesen tried to yank her off, but it was no use. He couldn't escape her rage. No one ever could. So, he used the last strategy he had.

He cried like a little baby.

"P-Please Miss. Gazlene! L-Let me go and I-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! PAIN! S-s-shall never return to your planet!"

But his please fell on deaf ears. Since when is Gazlene Membrane merciful? Finally, she sank her claw- I mean nails, into the creature's throat, causing him to gasp for air. Then she leaned in close to his face and whispered, "You will _never_ touch me or my friend again." That being said, she released him, and silently watched as Vector rushed to his side.

"VYRICE! NOOOOO!" He quickly ran over to his partner and grabbed his hand. "Vyrice, speak to me man! Don't go into the red light! You can make it! Don't leave me man! Don't g-"

Vyrice interrupted him by coughing up some blood. He weakly gazed at his partner. _"Why….why…are you b-being….such a WUSS? W-We….don't even….like each other!"_

Vector pondered on this for a second, then shrugged. "The girl just killed you to defend her friend. I'm feeling touchy."

Vyrice coughed up some more blood. _"There's just…one thing….I have to know…."_

"Shoot."

" _Why….oh WHY….did you…LET HER GO?"_

Vector snorted."Vy, when a cat gets ready to scratch you, you drop it. Not to mention her body was practically on fi- Vyrice?"

His partner didn't respond.

"Vyrice?"

Nothing.

Vector scowled. "Vyrice, that's just rude! Falling asleep while someone is talking? Geez, and I know you're not dead! You're eyes are still open!" He shook his head. "The gall of some people….well, the girl must've calmed down by now, so I'll just-"

His eyes widened as he realized that he and his partner were all alone. He quickly checked his surroundings. The girl, the Irken, and even the dog-thing were gone. No sign of them whatsoever.

Vector's jaw went slack. "She…she's gone! She disappeared!" His breath caught in his throat. "Or….was she never there to begin with? Was she just an illusion this whole time?"

He looked down as his unknowingly deceased friend. Flies were already covering his body. He started to reek of the scent of death. Vector shook his head.

"Vyrice….WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?"

* * *

Now, you've probably forgotten all about Dib. It's okay, most people do. But for those of you who _did_ remember him, you may or may not be shocked to discover that as his sister teamed up with his arch nemeses, rescued robots from mad dog-catchers, got captured by sinister aliens, and fought off said aliens….

…..he had remained completely oblivious.

Yep, Dib Membrane still thought his sister was on one of her grudge streaks and refused to come out of her room. Every night he would sneak some food under her door, shouting at her that he was only doing it because he could get in trouble for starving his sister. He would of course receive no answer.

"Why does she have to be so difficult?" Dib currently whispered to himself, not really paying attention to the _High School Musical_ playing on the screen. Or was it _Glee_? Eh. "This is the longest her tantrum has ever gone! HA! She still probably thinks I'll be the one to apologize first! Well, she is sadly mistaken. I'm done living in terror! I she wants to live the rest of her life in her room, then far be it from me to stop her!"

Those were the words coming out of his mouth….but in truth, he was really starting to miss his sister. He hadn't meant it when he said he hated her. But how much could one boy take? Absolutely _no one_ in the universe cared about him. His father didn't care, his sister didn't care, he had no friends….in truth, half the reason he kept chasing Zim was because he was as close to a friend as the boy was going to get. That _didn't_ mean he liked the little creature, because he didn't. It was just better to have Zim's company than none at all.

He was tired of being pushed around. He was tired of his father neglecting him, his sister hurting him, his enemy besting him….it was high time he put his foot down! This time, he was going to show his sister who was in charge. _He_ was the older brother! _He_ was the man of the house! _He_ the alpha male! _He_ was-

He paused his mental rant as he heard the door swing open. "Son? Son, why are you standing on the couch? Are you mentally monologing again?"

Dib spun around. His eyes lit up. "DADDY! YOU'RE HOME! YOU'RE HOME!" Like a little two-year-old, the boy rushed to his father's leg and grabbed a hold of it.

Prof. Membrane gave a throaty chuckle. "Ha ha, of course son. I was going to wait another….uh," he stopped to mentally count, "….ten months, but I feel like after that little spat I had with your sister, I should check in on you and make sure you haven't gotten rebellious on me!"

Dib looked up at his father. "Dad….don't you think you're a _little_ late with Gaz?"

"What are you talking about? She was born right on time!" He looked around. "Speaking of which, where is the little precious?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Locked up in her room again."

Membrane grunted. "Really? Too bad, I'll have to see her next time."

The young boy frowned. "Why don't you go and try to get her out?" He silently pleaded with his father to do it. Not only to prove he cared, but so he could have his sister back.

Membrane chuckled nervously. "And face off against her flesh-eating dolls? I already got the bottom half of my face ripped off! That's why I wear my collar over my mouth!" He pointed t said piece of clothing.

Dib's jaw dropped.

His father then released a throaty laugh. "Ho ho ho! I'm just kidding you boy…..but not really. Any who," he took a quick glance outside, "have child services….?"

Dib sighed. "They're still neglecting the fact that we're fourteen and living by ourselves."

The professor chuckled. "Don't you just love our economy?"

The boy shrugged before silently grabbing his father's hand. "I really missed you, Dad. It means a lot to me that-"

"Ssssh, son! Now's not the time for such irrelevant things!" The man waved a hand in his son's face. "Now is the time for action!"

"Huh?"

"Son, there's something very important I've been working on that I need to show you! It could very well be my greatest invention yet!"

Dib rolled his eyes. His father was a genius when it came to scientific research, but when it came to inventing…well, the devices he created were always….suckish. His greatest invention had been the Super Toast, which had somehow won a Nobel Prize. Still, his dad was finally including him in something so…. "What is it, Dad?"

Quiet abruptly, the man grabbed his son and tucked him under his arm like a football. "I can't just tell you boy, you need to see this!"

"Dad….I have the ability to walk."

"It won't be fast enough with those tiny legs of yours!" the professor exclaimed while running out the front door. "Quick! To the basement!"

Dib raised an eyebrow. "The baseme- HOW DID YOU GET YOU GET IT IN THE BASEMENT? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE!"

Pause. "Son, did anyone ever tell you that you question logic much too often?"

"Uh…"

"Now, let's not question how your father rolls, and head into the basement," he said before resuming his sprint.

"But…ah, life is so random."

* * *

_Tap._

"Mmm…"

_Tap._

"No…"

_Tap._

"No GIR….Zim does not wish to attend school….give me five more…years…"

_SLAP!_

"OW!"

Zim quickly sat up at after being sharply attacked across the face. "WHO DARES STRIKE THE BEAUTIFUL FACE OF…..Gaz-human?"

The small girl smirked. "Sorry about that, but you've been asleep for too long. I needed to make sure you were still alive."

Zim tried to sit up, but was instantly brought back down by a sharp pain in his leg. He let out a soft whimper. "What-"

"One of those aliens broke your leg," Gaz told him. "Almost every bone in there is snapped. Don't worry, I'm almost done wrapping it up."

The invader slowly turned his ruby eyes the young girl. When he had seen her hunched over, he had naturally assumed she was playing her game. Now that he focused on her tiny hands, he could see that she was in fact wrapping his leg up in gauze with surprising gentleness. He looked around, noticing they were back at the base, with him lying on the couch. He frowned. "What happened? Where are the Vesen?"

Gaz shrugged. "I doomed one of them and I'm pretty sure the other one will be having nightmares for the rest of his life."

Zim frowned at this. To be honest, he didn't remember half of the battle. The last thing he remembered was watching as Gaz and GIR were harshly throw into the hard wall, intense rage, and unbelievable pain as something crushed down on his leg. Had he done _anything?_ Or had the Earth girl saved them all? "Well….didn't Zim do anything?"

Gaz paused her work and slowly opened her eyes. "Yeah…" She slowly looked up at his face. "You….saved me." She should've felt angry with the alien for thinking she couldn't handle herself, or at least annoyed that she wound up needing his help. But she didn't. To her surprise, she discovered that she was actually grateful to him. He saved her, and he didn't have to. He could've left her to rot, especially after the fight they had, but he hadn't. He had come to her rescue. A _human's_ rescue.

Zim cleared his throat, trying to hide the heat that becoming quiet visible on his face. "It was no big deal."

"Then why did you do it?' she asked quietly. "You hate me. Why didn't you let them take me?"

The Irken grunted. To be honest, he had no idea. All he knew was that if he didn't save her, she would probably die, and that didn't feel right. In truth, he really just followed his squeedily-spooch. "I'm not sure," he finally answered. He would've made up an excuse, but, unfortunately for him, he couldn't think up one at the moment.

Gaz shrugged and returned to her task. "Well….thanks. I…. appreciate it."

An uncomfortable silence passed between the two. Gaz continued to bandage him, while Zim stared up at the ceiling. Finally, he spoke up. "I um…..appreciate your medical assistance, Little Gaz."

"Hm," she hummed.

More awkward silence.

A cricket chirped.

An owl howled.

A car crashed.

A man shot a guy.

"So…where's GIR?" Zim finally asked.

"Washing your disguise."

"GIR is touching my disguise?"

"I had to distract him somehow. He kept trying eat your leg."

"What? Well, I suppose this is understandable. Zim had been to known to be downright delicious!"

Gaz opened her mouth to speak, but decided against it and said, "There. I'm done. You may need travel by those spider-legs for a couple of months."

Zim scoffed. "Months? HA! And again, HA! Maybe for a human it would take so long, but I am an Irken invader! We heal at a much quicker rate! I should be back to my normal Zimminess in just a few days!"

Gaz nodded. "Good to know….well, catch ya later, I guess." She then turned and made her way to the door.

Zim instantly snapped out of his arrogant posture. He hadn't expected her to say _that!_ "Wait! What gives? Where are you going?"

The pale girl turned her head. "No idea. But you fired me, remember? Why would you let me live with you if I was no longer any use to you?"

Zim's eyes widened. During the whole ordeal with the Vesen, he had completely forgotten that he had sent the young girl away. He battled with his inner emotions. For some reason, he no longer wanted the young girl out of his team, home…or life. But could he swallow his pride enough to tell her that he had long forgotten her betrayal at the mall?

Seeing that he wasn't about to respond, the young girl turned to head the door. "Yeah well…tell GIR I said bye and-"

"Dib-sister, do not walk out that door!"

Well _this_ intrigued the little human. She once again turned her head to face him. "What? The arcade closes soon, and I want to-"

"I…uh, you're…you…"

"Spit it out green boy!" she hissed.

"You have my permission to stay," he finally spat out.

The girl opened one of her eyes. "Huh?"

Zim leaned his head back and growled. "I…I un-fire you, Dib-sister. All is forgiven…..I still wa- _need_ us to be partners." He braced himself, preparing for the young girl to laugh at him, or even reject his offer. It seemed like the kind of thing she would do. Kick an Irken while he's down.

But he did not receive a taunt or even chuckle. Quite the opposite in fact. His eyes snapped open as he felt a soft pat on his bandaged leg. The Irken was once again surprised by her gentleness. Was this really the same girl he had been living with for the past few days?

The young girl looked up at with a blank expression. Finally she said, "…..Cool. For a second there, I was afraid I was going to have to turn to Iggens."

And then, something strange happened.

For the first time, they smiled at one another. Not sarcastic smirks, or mocking grins, but true, genuine smiles. A true sign that things were not the same between them. Something had changed. They weren't quite sure what, but being around one another no longer repulsed the other. It was now tolerable.

Maybe even _enjoyable._

Zim smile shifted into a smirk. "You wouldn't of."

"Well I certainly wasn't going to go back to Dib!"

"You would rather live with that hideous human than your own brother unit?" Zim chuckled.

Gaz smirked. "Wouldn't you?"

"Between Iggens and Dib? I'd kill myself first."

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "In yet you can tolerate living with me? Touching."

"Well," Zim paused to release a loud yawn. "At least you're better to look at…"

Before the girl could ask what he meant about that, four wires appeared from the ceiling and plugged into Zim's PAK. The Irken was asleep in an instant.

Gaz gave a short chuckle. He was actually…cute, when he wasn't talking. Her mood instantly dampened when she realized that the tuckered alien had taken her only bed. She frowned. Well, she certainly wasn't going to sleep on the floor, and she had no idea where Zim's room was, so….that only left one option.

She slowly and carefully climbed onto the couch and rested her head on the other side it. Making herself comfortable, she watched the green alien sleep until she fell into the same state. She actually didn't mind sharing a couch with the green boy.

After all, he was the only friend she had.

* * *

"Woah…."

"Uh huh."

"It's…."

"I know."

"It's just so…"

"Yes?"

"So…SHINY!"

"Indeed!" Prof. Membrane chuckled. "Take a good look son! This is going to be my greatest invention yet!"

Dib could hardly contain his excitement. An invention as shiny as this _had_ to be worth something! "What does it do? How'd you make it? Can it help me defeat Zim?"

"Something amazing, with the greatest of science, and ho ho, you have such an imagination!" He quickly walked over to the silver, iron tube that was his invention. "My I present….. _The Change of Life!"_

Dib scoffed. "Well, somebody is a little conceited when it comes to their inventions."

"It's actually appropriately named, boy," the professor ran a hand over the smooth center. "It's can _literally_ change a person's life. It can change your species!"

Dib's eyes widened at this. Had he heard his father correctly? "Uh, Dad? How many celery sticks did you eat before you got here?"

"Now's not the time to be talking about my eating addictions!" Membrane told him hastily. "What you see before you is a DNA scrambler!" He opened a small door on the side. "You simply walk in here, insert the DNA of another species, press this pretty button, and presto! You are now that species!"

Dib's jaw dropped open. "Dad…are you serious? Okay, say I put a raccoon's DNA in?

His father nodded. "Yes, you would instantly become a raccoon!"

"And say I put a dinosaur's DNA in?"

"Then a dinosaur you shall be!"

"Okay….here's something out of random…..what about _alien_ DNA?"

Membrane sighed. "Well, I knew this was coming. Yes son, if you were to somehow _magically_ obtain an alien, you may become one as well."

" _Never in a million years,"_ Dib shuddered. Still, his mind was wheeling with conflictions. This weapon could very well help in his war against Zim….but how? He didn't want to change Zim into a human. Then what would he show to the people of Earth? He certainly didn't want to become an alien…..so what use was this thing? He wasn't quite sure he could use this, but he was sure once he did, it would change his life forever.

The boy had never been more right in his life. _  
_


	9. Spreading Gossip

_Mist. Haze. Grey dirt. Tiny, black insects crawling everywhere. A raven crowing in the background. The smell of raw flesh polluting the air. This is what he heard, felt, and smelled. This is where he was trapped. With all these senses surrounding him, only one thought was able to process through his mind:_

_What in the name of Irk did he drink last night?_

" _Helllooooooo?" Zim called into the abyss. "Anybody here? GIR?"_

_He was met with only the sound of the raven._

" _Gaz-human?"_

_Silence._

"… _.Dib-monster?"_

_Nada._

_Zim scowled. He hated being ignored. He huffed and began to ponder. He could've sworn he had just been at the base two hours ago. Hadn't he just fallen asleep? And wasn't his leg supposed to be broken? Where in the name of Irk was he? And how did he get here?_

" _ **Cah! Cah!"**_

_The small Irken growled. That raven was seriously getting on his nerves. He quickly shook his head and focused on the task at hand. Finding out whether or not Computer slipped something into his food last night. That had to be it. He could only think of two other solutions:_

_One, the Dib-sister had finally followed up on her threat and sent him into a nightmare world. Although he seriously doubted it. They had left on a rather peaceful note last night. And he'd like to think if she wanted to doom someone just for kicks, she would first seek out her brother. Or Iggens._

_Two, he was dreaming. Irkens were perfectly capable of having visions while they were recharging, but again, he seriously doubted it was one of HIS dreams. He was still only two feet tall. And Dib's corpse wasn't anywhere in sight._

" _ **Cah! Cah!"**_

" _Shut it, winged-beast!" Zim shouted at the noisy creature. The little Irken began to move onward. He knew eventually his head would clear up, Gaz-human would him go, or he would wake up. He just hoped he found something interesting by then._

" _ **Cah! Cah!"**_

" _YOU HAVE EARNED MY 'COLD SHOULDER', YOU INSUFFEREABLE LITTLE CREATURE!" Zim shouted over said shoulder. Unfortunately, the raven must have taken his words the wrong way, for in another instant, the bird was perched on his shoulder._

_Zim sharply looked at the miserable creature. "That was not wise what you just did, little foul."_

_The raven merely tilted its head and began pecking at the Irken's ruby eyes._

_Sputtering, Zim tried to swat the offending creature off him. "Remove yourself from Zim at once! I have no time for your ridiculous squawking!"_

_The bird merely jumped on the green man's head, digging its talons into his skull._

_Now, Zim was fuming. "I swear, if you release your stinkies on my gorgeous head, then we are so doing the 'bringing it on'!"_

_The raven lowered its head so it was right in between Zim's eyes. The Irken frowned. "Uh…"_

" _ **NEVERMORE!"**_

" _AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Zim screeched as the startling bird finally took flight. The Irken quickly picked himself up off the ground and watched as the raven flew off into the abyss. He remained silent for quite some time, then finally he said, "You know….even_ _this_ _universe has a limit on the randomness."_

" _Zim…."_

_Zim quickly turned his head to see who was speaking to him. He didn't see anyone. "Yeeees? Did someone refer to me in a sinister tone?"_

" _Zim…..come to me….come to me…..."_

_Zim blinked. "Uh….no?"_

" _Yes…"_

" _No, I don't want to."_

" _Come, Zim…."_

" _No."_

" _Now, Zim…."_

" _I don't wanna."_

" _Come…."_

" _No, I said."_

" _ZIM! GET YOUR LITTE GREEN HINEY OVER HERE NOW! …I mean, come to me….."_

_Zim gulped. "Okay….but only because I left my GPS at home…." That being said, he began to follow the creepy voice into the abyss._

_Several minutes passed, but they felt like hours to the loud Irken. His only company was the creepy voice leading him deeper in the mist. He gently rubbed his temples._

" _Mr. Creepy, am I there yet?"_

_ No, not yet Zim." _

" _But Zim needs to release his bladder!"_

"… _You should have done that before you came to me…"_

" _ZIm didn't have to go then!"_

" _ENOUGH!"_

" _But I cannot have an accident like some filthy human! Or GIR!"_

" _STOP! You are here."_

" _Oh, goody!" Zim checked his surroundings….and felt the overwhelming urge to scream. It looked as though he never moved an inch. He was trapped in the same misty haze he had been in fifteen minutes ago! The only difference was a single teddy bear lying in the dirt. The Irken groaned and picked up the tiny toy._

" _Well, I'm probably going to die out here, but at least I'll have this HUMAN TOY to keep me company!" Zim scowled in frustration._

" _What? Not good enough for you? Why don't you go hang out with the human then?"_

_Zim's jaw dropped. "AHHHHHHHH! Possessed toy thing!" He sharply threw the horrifying object on the ground._

"… _Ow."_

" _WHY?" Zim bellowed. "Why do you haunt me? Does this have something to do with my past actions? Because GIR'S piggy just HAD to go! I mean, how am I supposed to work with that thing staring at me all the time?"_

" _Do you KNOW how crushed your SIR unit was after the death of his piggy?_ _The teddy bear frowned._

_Zim nodded. "Yes, it was very funny."_

" _Heartless creature….but that is not what I'm here for!"_ _the teddy bear cleared his throat._ _"We need to talk about your character development."_

_Zim blinked. "I'm sorry…what?"_

" _You are changing Zim. You are changing deep within."_

" _You mean I'm finally getting taller?"_

" _I meant emotionally."_

"… _My emotions are getting taller?"_

" _No! I mean your emotions! They are rapidly changing!"_

"… _.Are they getting taller?"_

" _NO! NOTHING'S GETTING TALLER!"_

" _Then what's happening to me?"_

" _You're beginning to care!"_

"… _..About getting taller?"_

"… _Murdering is a sin….murdering is a sin…."_

" _Huh?"_

" _Listen to me!"_ _the bear growled. "_ _You're being deceived!"_

_Zim smirked. "You're telling me…"_

" _You have been living a lie! Everything you know is a lie!_

_Zim raised a non-existent eyebrow. "How so?"_

" _You are not TRULY an invader! You have been-"_

" _LIEEEEEES!" Zim instantly screeched. "How dare you! How dare you question the status of the almighty ZIM? You are nothing more than a human plaything!"_

" _Zim, you were sent on this Earth to die!"_

" _UNTRUE!"_

" _Your mission is a fake! YOU'RE a fake!"_

_Zim plugged his fingers into non-existent ears. "No! Zim will not listen! Lalalalalalalalala! Zim is not listening! Is someone speaking to Zim? I can't hear you!"_

"… _Real mature."_

" _Still can't hear youuuuuuuu!"_

" _Zim, you've been lied to!"_

" _Do the shalalalalalalala!"_

" _ZIM, YOUR TALLEST HAVE LIED TO YOU!"_

_Finally, Zim stopped his mindless rant. His mouth popping open in a little 'o' of surprise, he turned his head to horrid fluff thing. "How…how dare you…my Tallest….they have the upmost respect for me! They have been nothing but good to me! It's one thing to insult the great Zim with your words, but no one disses my Tallest! Not even Zim! If I were to say something offensive about my great leaders right now, Zim would slit Zim's throat!"_

_The Obiwan-Kanobe bear shook his fluffy head._ _ "Zim, they care nothing for you…..they only see you as a jest. A palace fool, if you will. They only keep you alive to laugh at you." _

_Zim shook his head in disbelief. No….this was not true. His Tallest care-er, respected him! Zim wasn't looking for their affections. Irkens had no capability of feeling such useless emotions. But he had their respect, certainly! He was one of their most prized invaders!_

" _And who are you to say such things?" the small alien questioned._

" _Because I am angel sent from Heaven above to guide you through your life quest,"_ _the bear told him, striking a pose as a heavenly light shone upon him._

_Zim's eyes widened. "Wow…really?"_

" _No."_ _The light shut off._ _"But I wish I was. I'm actually your subconscious, speaking to you through your dreams."_

" _Oh, so this IS a dream….wait, why are you in the form of a teddy bear?"_

"' _Cause it's funny."_

"… _..Ah."_

" _Zim, there are only two people who truly care about you in this world."_

_Zim blinked. "Excuse me, didn't you just say you were part of me? If you are really part of me then you should be showering me with the praise of me in….me…." He paused to think about his words._

" _Aren't you going to ask who they are?"_

" _Who?"_

" _The people who care about you!"_

_Zim huffed. "Ridiculous! No one cares for Zim! And Zim cares for no one!"_

_Teddy bear rolled his eyes._ _ "Well, the first one is obviously GIR-" _

" _Don't even go there," Zim hissed. "That little Macadamia nut is PROGRAMMED to like me!"_

" _Yes, normal SIR units usually have no choice in the matter, but GIR is a defect. His affections for you are by his own free will."_

_Zim scowled. "My SIR unit is not a defect! He is-"_

" _I'm part of you! What I know, YOU secretly know! So quit denying everything I say! It's getting on my nerves!"_

_Zim pouted. "Fine….but who's the other one?"_

_The bear smirked._ _ "Oh…..I think you can figure it out." _

_Zim began to ponder._

" _It's a girl…"_

_Still pondering…_

" _She has a weird obsession with piggies…"_

_Pondering…._

"… _.Her name rhymes with 'taz', c'mon! I can't make this any easier!"_

"… _.. ?"_

" _GAZ YOU IDIOT!"_ _teddy-conscience bellowed._ _"GAZ CARES ABOUT YOU!"_

_Zim took a few steps back, startled by this news. "What…Gaz-human can CARE?"_

" _She admitted she cared for your SIR unit, did she not?"_

" _Well yeah…but I just thought she was trying to make me mad! No! You are wrong! The Dib-sister has no emotions!"_

" _Then why did she patch you up after the Vesen attacked?"_

" _I saved her life! She owed me!" Zim sputtered._

" _She saved your life too, so do you owe her?"_

" _She…no! She didn't SAVE me! She AIDED me! And I paid her back by giving her her job back!" Zim said, giving a short nod of the head._

" _Zim, she saved you because she's staring to warm up to you! Zim, this MEANS something! It's not exactly easy to get on her good side!"_

_Zim began to sputter. "But…what….she's…you're….YOU ARE PART OF ZIM! SHOULD YOU NOT BE AGREEING WITH ME?"_

" _Zim, I have two identities! One of them is being the part of you that actually has a brain! Get over it! You and Gaz are starting to LIKE one another!"_

_Zim quickly shook his head. "No! I refuse to listen to this nonsense! We may have had a rather tender moment last night, but it was merely a momentary weakness! I'm sure if you asked the human girl, she would give you the same answer! We are PARTNERS! Nothing more! As if I could ever 'like' her! As if the fact alone that she's a human wasn't enough to repel me, she is also the sister-unit of the horrible Dib! I can personally guarantee you, fluffy, adorable version of myself, that she and I will NEVER be friends!" Taking a deep breath, he sat down on the ground, his 'nose' stuck up in the air._

_Teddy opened his mouth to speak._ _ "Ah-" _

" _NEEEVAAAAAAAAAAAH!"_

" _But-"_

" _Never."_

" _Well….you suck."_

" _Whatever. I'm rubber, you're glue! Whatever you say sticks back to you!" Zim sang._

"… _But I thought YOU were the one indulging himself in paste? And how can your PAK work properly if you are made out of rubber? And how is it possible to bounce off-"_

" _YOU ARE MAKING THIS LESS OF A WITTY COMEBACK!"_

" _Yes, Irk forbid if I did that…"_

_Zim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well…..say, what's your other identity?"_

_The bear glared. "I am also…..YOUR FATHER!"_

" _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

* * *

" _Zim…wake up! Zim! C'mon, recharge time long over! ZIM!"_

Zim sprang forward from his spot on the couch. "I WILL NOT JOIN THE FLUFFY SIDE!"

"… _.You know, even THIS universe has a limit on the randomness…."_

Zim ignored his sarcastic computer. Instead, he checked his surroundings with wide eyes. He was home! It really HAD been a dream! A horrible dream at that. He now _detested_ fluffed toy bears…..and for some strange reason, 1970's space movies.

" _Had a bad dream there, Sir?"_ Computer chuckled.

Zim took a deep breath. "Oh Auntie Computer! There's no place like home!"

"… _.What the Irk are you talking about?"_

Zim shook his head. "Sorry, still a little tired!" Scratching his head, his eyes slowly looked up at the clock above his TV. He gasped. "Computer! I am late for skool! Why didn't you wake me up?"

"… _.Didn't I JUST do that?"_

"Where is Gaz-human?" Zim asked while adjusting his wig.

" _Kitchen."_

"What is she doing?"

" _Reading."_

"Why is she reading?"

" _She finished breakfast."_

"When did she wake up?"

" _Two hours ago. And please, don't bother asking me 'who'."_

Zim grumbled while placing his contacts in. "Gaz-human!" he called.

"I'm in the kitchen." He heard.

"I know, come! We are late for skool!"

"I'm reading."

"I know, but we missed the bus! We will have to walk!"

"But I just finished breakfast."

"I _know_. Why didn't you wake me up? We are going to get the detention if we do not hurry!"

"I woke up two hours ago."

"I KNOW! GAZ-HUMAN! PUT YOUR GAMESLAVE HANDBOOK DOWN NOW! WE ARE LATE!"

"I'm not reading that."

"I KNO- Wait, say what?" Suddenly, getting to skool wasn't so important. What could that human girl possible be reading if it had nothing to do with her beloved gaming device? Scratching his brow, he entered the kitchen to see the human he hated the least buried deep within a book.

Zim's eyes widened. The book was HUGE! When did his partner even _receive_ a book of such epic proportions? "What IS that? A list of all the innocent beings you've doomed?"

Gaz smirked. "Oh, so now you think humans are innocent?" She gave a soft chuckle at the look on his face. "I would think you of all people should know what book this is, Zim. Aren't you the one who gave me it?" She held the book up for him to see.

Zim's mouth nearly dropped. On the cover read _Irken's Glorious History._ _Read or Perish._ He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't still sleeping. He wasn't. He was living something he thought would never actually happen…..well, not without a whip and some tacks anyway…

"Is that that the book Zim gave you?" he finally found his voice.

"Yah…"

"Why…why are you reading it?' Zim asked.

"Didn't you tell me to?" the young girl asked slowly. She mentally smirked. She obviously knew why he looked so shocked. This was the first time she had shown the Irken any sign that she cared about the mission. But she was having fun messing with him. He was actually kind of…cute when he was confused.

And right now, he was absolutely adorable. "Wha-when has that meant anything to you?" Zim screeched.

Gaz giggled softly, much to the surprise of her partner. "Like I said before Zim, I'm not out to get you killed. I'm just as serious about this as you are, and if this junk is _really_ going to help me out, then I guess it's worth a glance over. "

Zim frowned a bit. Although satisfied with the girl's answer, there were still a few things that didn't add up. Why was she only _now_ realizing the wisdom of his words? Could it be….could she…?

"Is that….all?" he asked rather hesitantly.

Gaz slowly closed her book and cleared her throat. "…Well, it's not like I _want_ you killed…I…don't want you to get in trouble with your tall guys….that would…..suck."

 _Oh sweet Irk…the fluffy spoke the truth!_ Zim realized. The Gaz-girl _was_ starting to develop affections for him! But that's not what disgusted him. What disgusted him was the fact that _he didn't care!_ He should be repulsed by the human's weakness…but he wasn't. This angered the Irken. She was nothing more than a mere human! How dare she like him! How dare she feel anything towards him other than hatred and respect? What did she hope to gain?

"Oh, real funny human girl! Har har har. Who knew you were such a card?" Zim said snottily.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Zim showed off his zipper-like teeth in a smug grin. "You acting as if you really care about me, HA! I laugh cruelly at this! Neither of us have the capability of feeling such trivial emotions! It just isn't in our DNA!"

Gaz frowned. "What….are you talking about?"

"Will you deny it? You've fooled yourself into believing that there's some sort of…. _pinkness_ between us!"

"'Pinkness?' Zim, I think you mean 'affections'."

"DO NOT TELL ZIM WHAT HE MEANS! YOU KNOW NOT HIS WORDS!" Zim bellowed, hating that she had corrected him once again.

Gaz was getting angrier by the minute. "Gah, you are such an idiot.'

Zim copied her emotion. "Better than you, human filth!"

The small girl became flushed in the face. "What about what happened last night? I thought that after the encounter with the Vesen-"

"What? That we would become friends?" He didn't care if he sounded cruel. He was going to make sure this human knew her place. "Flashing news demon girl: Just because you were 'kind' enough to patch me up, doesn't change the fact that you're a human! And don't think even for a second that just because I came to your aid that I give a _bejf_ about you! And if you're going to cry, please do it over my plants, CUZ they need waterin'!"

Zim took a sharp inhale after letting loose his feelings in a huge torrent. He looked over towards his partner, who hadn't said a word. This confused the Irken. Didn't she have anything to say? Did she even hear him?

"Gaz-human?"

Nothing.

"You're not responding. Is this a good thing? Did Zim win?"

Finally, the girl spoke. "We need to get to skool. Let's go." Without another word, the small girl grabbed her backpack and made her way to the front door.

Zim didn't follow. Something didn't feel right. For the first time since he met her, Zim had actually won an argument against the purple-haired girl. So where was his rush of victory? Where was his swelling pride? Why did he just feel like he done something….wrong?

"Uh, Gaz-human? Isn't this the part where you cause me pain? I've been bracing myself for the past three minutes!"

Gaz paused on her trip to the door. Without turning to face him, she said, "You know Zim, for a second there, I thought I actually saw something in you."

Zim smiled at this. "Really? You think you have x-ray vision or something? Because that could be useful!"

Gaz turned her head towards the Irken and glared. "But you really are nothing but a psychotic, unhealthy, unstable, idiot."

The green man's smile disappeared. "Hey! Zim is no idiot!"

Gaz shook her head. "I'm going to skool. Come with me or not, I don't care. Just stay out of my way." She then opened the door and made her way outside.

"BYE GAZZY!" GIR shouted to his mistress. "GETZ ME MY BISCUITS!"

"NO!" Gaz fumed.

GIR began to whimper. "But….my biscuits!"

"Get your own stupid biscuits!" she shouted as she finally left the front porch.

GIR stared blankly at the front door. "What?"

Behind the odd bot, Zim had begun fuming himself. What went wrong? He had told her her place, and she had left hating him again. He got what he wanted! What was the big deal? Why did he feel like something had gone horrible wrong?

"Human girl! Wait for Zim!"

He didn't know what these new feelings of doubt meant. But he knew he would never give the Dib-sister a minute of peace until he found out!

* * *

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!_

After Gaz had managed to lose her partner in the park, she found herself making her way towards her locker. She was mentally kicking herself the entire way there.

 _How could I have been so stupid? How could I have thought that we were actually becoming-_ Gaz shook her head in anger. She couldn't believe it. She just couldn't believe it. For once in her entire life, she thought she actually had a friend. She thought he had begun overlooking the fact that she was a human. She thought that's why he had saved her.

But no. It had all been in her head.

_Stupid!_

She threw her tiny fist into her locker, causing it to dent. _How dense am I? How could I actually let myself…not hate that little twerp? I've never not hated someone before! How dare he throw it in my face!_

Her rage started to peak as she angrily threw her locker door open. She muttered curse after curse towards herself for letting herself get attached. When would she learn?

_Well, it's all over now. I hate him. If I even so much as hear his name again I will-_

"Soo….Zim?"

… _.Someone's getting doomed. Or at least cut._

The girl turned her head to the side and grimaced. Four lockers down stood three barbies chatting it up. You know the ones. Those snotty girls who put on their make-up in class, stop in front of you to make-out with their boyfriends, constantly chew their gum with a sneer, and always hold their arms up as if they were holding a purse.

How Gaz loathed them.

Of course, if you didn't know that, then you're not a true Gaz fan. Leave my presence immediately if so.

The first Barbie stuck out her tongue. "Like ick! I wouldn't be caught dead kissing him! He's so, like, green!"

"Racist…" Gaz couldn't help but mutter into her locker. She didn't look at them. It's not like they had her attention.

Barbie number two snickered. "Ha! No one would kiss that freak! Not even that creepy Gaz girl!"

 _Now_ they had her attention.

Barbie #1's mouth dropped open, almost spilling her gum. "Gaz? You mean that ghost girl? I hear she's actually some walking corpse!"

 _I wish,_ Gaz thought to herself. Then she could remove her body parts. That would be cool.

Barbie #2 waved her hand in a typical fashion. You know the one. "I hear she actually talks to demons!"

Gaz's eye twitched. How did that mannequin know about Steppy?

Barbie #3 pretended to gasp. "That's nothing! I hear she's related to Dib!"

#1 placed a hand to her mouth. "Oh no, now that's a lie!"

#2 nodded. "Yeah, if I were Dib's sister I would've killed myself by now."

#3 pretended to faint. "If I was related to either of them I would've killed myself by now!"

As the three burst into giggles, Gaz was glaring them down. Oh, how she hated barbies. She remembered making them human sacrifices to flesh-eating dolls when she was little. (Rest assure, the actual toy barbies) She was also frustrated to discover that people were _once again_ placing her and Zim in a romantic genre. Whatever. It's not like she cared what they thought….in fact….she decided to go over there and _give_ them something to gossip about, just to prove how indifferent she was.

She casually made her way towards the trio and said, "Hi girls."

The identical females looked at her with wide, fearful eyes. They obviously were not expecting he presence. Good.

#1 whispered to one of her companions, "Barbie #2, it's talking to us!"

#2 turned her back to the goth."Don't make eye contact!"

"What are you talking about?" #3 whispered. "She doesn't have any eyes!"

Gaz rolled said eyes before saying, "I couldn't help but overhear you girls talking about my….ugh, _boyfriend._ "

Barbie #3 exchanged glances with her friends. "Um…your boyfriend?"

#1 gasped. "You're dating _Dib_?"

Gaz stared at her. "Don't go to sleep tonight. I'm warning you. No, I was actually talking about Zim."

#1 clutched onto one of her friend's arms. "ZIM? You're _actually_ dating Zim?"

Gaz gave them a fake smile. "Of course. We've been together since the dawn of time."

#2 raised an eyebrow. "Really? That long?"

The small girl nodded." That's right. Five years ago as of today."

"But why? Even _you_ can't be that desperate!"

The small girl shrugged. "Why not? I'm….eh, head over heels for that little…guy." _Oh gag. If only the little green idiot had heard me there._

Barbie #2 visibly paled. "Disgusting! What could possibly be appealing about that piece of spinach?"

Gaz had to take a moment to think. What was she supposed to say? Zim _didn't_ have any appealing qualities. She couldn't even begin to think up anything to give these girls. He was nothing but a nuisance through and through.

….Well…there was that _one_ thing…

"Well…he makes me laugh. Not many people can do that. It's like every word that comes out of his mouth is so ridiculous, that it's endearing. He's actually kind of…cute."

The three barbies looked at the smaller girl in silence and wonder, but the truth was, Gaz was no longer speaking to them. She was going over her own personal review of the alien.

"And yeah, his voice is incredibly confusing in regards to his gender, but there's something oddly adorable about it. And despite popular belief, he's actually very smart. If he didn't have such an ego, he could've killed us all years ago!" Gaz paused to let a small smile creep across her face. "He's just…different. He's not like other humans…he plans, he creates, he actually TRIES to be difference…granted, he drives me insane, but at the same time, he kinda grows on you…." She sighed softly to herself after finally letting her emotions out for a few seconds. It was kind of hard keeping her wall up all the time, especially while she was experiencing these brand new feelings. She cleared her throat and suddenly remembered she was in the middle of being social. "So…uh…what were we talking about?"

**RIIIIIIINNNGG!**

Gaz breathed a sigh of relief. Her archenemy, Dr. Earbust, had actually helped her today. She turned towards the three girls. "Never mind. This conversation never happened." She left, grumbling to herself as she made her way to class. She wanted to show she was indifferent to gossip by giving them plenty of fuel….but somehow the three demons had gained control of her mind and made her actually _praise_ her green partner! They would pay for their brainwash-ery!

As Gaz left, the three barbies looked to one another in shock and astoundment.

"Wow…that was really kind of touching!" #1 whispered.

Barbie #2 nodded in agreement. "Who knew the dead girl actually had feelings?"

Barbie #3 gazed in the direction Gaz had left. "Yeah…..I think I'll actually stop cheating on my boyfriend."

* * *

"Gaz-human! Gaz-girl! Reveal you presence to me at once!"

To say Zim was angry would be an understatement. The human female had already confused him enough by planting strange feelings of guilt into his PAK, but now she refused to even stop and talk to him about it!

"Stupid human female…." Zim grumbled while pushing the button on the water fountain. Nope, she wasn't there. "Making me chase her around like GIR does with….everything!" He quickly tore open a random kid's locker to see if she was hiding in there. Nope.

"I mean, how did she even dodge me in that park? She went behind a tree, and then, gone! Grr, she is actually taking advantage of the fact that my leg is currently out of commission! That's just sick! I'd be proud if it wasn't _me_ she was ignoring!" Sharply, he stuck his head inside the girl's bathroom and shouted, "HEY LADIES! IS THE GAZ-HUMAN IN THERE?"

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Wha-? No, no, no, no, no, no! Broken leg! BROKEN LEG! AHHHHHH!"

**CRASH!**

_Definitely_ not in there.

The poor, beaten Irken slowly crawled out of the torture chamber. He struggled to get back on his feet, whimpering the entire time. "Uh….Why are all Earth females so aggressive? And…touchy?"

"ZIM!"

The Irken quickly straightened out his posture at the sound of a familiar voice. His eyes squinted as he turned his sharply to face his foe. "Dib-beast..."

[Cue _The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly_ theme.]

Both enemies glared each other down. Dib sneered at the green menace across from him. Like a boss. "Zim…we meet again."

Zim nodded, all while squinting at his enemy with…malice, I guess. Well, everyone knows squinting at your enemy automatically makes you look cool, so… "Yes, just like we do every other day for the past four years. Why now do you choose to make such a dramatic entrance?"

Dib gave him a smug smirk. "I watched a lot of James Bond last night."

"You saw James bond with what?"

Dib quickly waved a dismissive hand. "Never mind! Also I, the amazingly amazing Dib, have a brand new machine that will help me finally rid this planet of your existence!"

Now usually Zim would freak out if such a threat was given to him, however after four years of fighting with Dib and four years of his so called 'brilliant' inventions…well, let's just say the Irken was starting to detect a pattern.

"Oh really? Huh, I've never heard that one before."

Dib instantly lost his cool composure. "Okay. Maybe I've used this line-"

"416 times? I counted."

"-A few times before."

"416 times."

Dib frowned at him. "BUT this is something even you've never thought of creating! But I did! And since I thought and created if first, I'll be the one to unleash-"

"Your father-unit made it didn't he?" Zim asked, knowing by now who the _real_ genius in the Membrane family was.

"No!" Dib pouted.

Zim smirked. "Yes. Daddy's boy."

"Well, you just better start saying your prayers alien scum!"

Zim stared at him for a minute before an evil smirk spread across his lips. He knew how to put the Dib-beast in his place. It was genius. It was evil. And frankly, later he was going to cause bodily harm to himself for not thinking about it earlier.

"Well….you won't be able to hurt me without hurting your beloved sister-unit. So I'd think carefully about you next move."

Dib's mouth dropped open in shock. Gaz? His baby sister who was supposed to be in her room throwing a tantrum? "G-Gaz? _What have you done with her you sick fiend?"_

Zim only smiled at him. "I don't know Dib-monster. What do _you_ think Zim has done with her?"

The human boy stared at him in horror. "I think you have her strapped her down to a table, where you not only experiment on her delicate form, but dine on her flesh to satisfy your hunger for the death of my race, while drinking her blood to satisfy your thirst. Then you peel her hair off strand by strand-"

"For Irk's sake Dib-stink! I'm an invader, not a barbarian!" ZIm screeched. Seriously, what did this boy take him for? He was evil, but he wasn't sick!

"There's a difference?" Dib chided.

Zim rolled his fake eyes. "Whatever. Zim does not fear your silly human machine. Use it if you must, but just remember that your sister-unit _will_ be getting involved!" he said without lying.

Dib scowled at him. "You keep your filthy claws off her!"

"Don't tell Zim what to do! For Zim is THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!"

"OH YEAH, WELL-wait, what?"

Zim blinked. "What?"

Dib examined his surroundings before saying, "What the heck? Did you just say you're the 'Prince of all Saiyans'? I thought I heard you call your race 'Irkens' once?"

The green boy looked just as confused as the human boy. "I…don't know what that was….it's like I was being channeled by an anime character with similar personality traits as mine."

"How do you know what anime is?"

"What's anime?"

"….."

"….."

"Yeah well…we're late to class."

"Yeah….yeah, we are."

"See you later?"

"Yeah, bye…..wait, what about Gaz?" Dib called, but the green boy had already left for class. The young boy ground his teeth together.

"Curses! Foiled again!" He blinked as he felt a paper ball bop him on his spectacles. Grinning, he shouted over his shoulder, "Ha! I'm wearing glasses! That didn't hurt a bit!"

**BAM!**

His moment of triumph was rewarded by a huge bowling ball smashing against his face, crushing his once protective glasses.

"Mother…is that you?"

* * *

Gaz-human, I understand you have grown rather fond of me, but-

Nope.

It's not like I can't stand your presence, you're actually quiet-

Nope.

Look. This relationship is supposed to be strictly professional. I agreed to share my advantages with you, I agreed to let you move in with me, but I never agreed to be your-

Nope.

Me Irken. You human. No work.

Zim grumbled to himself as he scratched out his latest reasoning. As soon as he had left the Dib-monster, the green Irken had made his way towards his desk and began coming up ways to explain to his Earth partner why he could never see her as more than a partner.

Which was turning out to be a lot easier said than done.

Zim growled as he ripped his paper into a bunch of tiny pieces. Why couldn't he do to Gaz what he did to Keef when HE tried to pursue a friendship with him? The small alien clenched his tiny fists in frustration, but quickly shook off the idea. Gaz was too smart to fall for his inventions and half the time he wasn't so sure the Earth girl even _had_ eyes.

Plus, something just seemed… _wrong_ about forcing her to avoid him.

The human girl trusted him, and unlike his situation with Keef, the idea of befriending the small girl actually wasn't so repulsive. They had a lot in common, and he rather…. _enjoyed_ the adventures they had shared for the past few days. Being her the Earth girl's friend….actually wouldn't be so terrible.

But he had his pride. He was an Irken, and therefore her superior. What would the Tallest think if they saw him affiliating with an Earthling in such a friendly manner? He'd be the laughing stock of the century! He was an Irken! He was her superior in every way! Where did she get the gall to think she was worthy enough to befriend the almighty-

"Zim! Stop thinking up ways to make up with your girlfriend! We're discussing how people who think giving birth is a 'beautiful process' are complete idiots! Ms. Bitters scowled at her green student.

Zim rolled his eyes at the woman's mind reading. It got annoying after a while. "Unless you wish to teach me a way to stop the human birthing process all together, I don't want to know anything about it!"

That's when a random boy with dark, green hair gasped and leaned in closer to Zim. 'Wait….so _you_ actually have a girlfriend?"

Zim frowned. He had no idea what a 'girlfriend' was, but he had been hearing the last part of that word quiet a lot lately. "Well, she's certainly not my friend!"

That was all the random kid needed. In another instant, he stood up and screamed to his fellow classmates, "HEY WORLD! ZIM HAS A GIRLFRIEND!"

The entire class exchanged a look before exclaiming in unison, "GOSSIP!" Everyone then crowded around the boy they always mocked and began begging for the deets:

"What's she like?"

"What does she look like?"

"Is she hot?"

"How old is she?"

"Is she hot?"

"Quantos se' anos?"

"Hot she is?"

Zim certainly did not like all the attention he was getting, but he was afraid if he didn't answer them, they would think something was wrong with him. He had no idea why they were all so curious about Gaz all of a sudden, but if it meant they would leave him alone…

"She's grumpy. She has purple hair and pale skin. Her skin gets hot when she's angry, if that's what you mean. She's fourteen Earth years. Her skin gets hot when she's angry, if that's what you mean. I don't know what the Irk you just said. Hot her skin gets when angry, if mean you."

"SILENCE!" Ms. Bitters screamed. "BY THE POWER OF THE UNDERWORLD STOOOP!"

Everyone quickly quieted down after that. They didn't need Ms. Bitters opening the gates of Hell. Again. Joey's parents were still in mourning.

"Now class, for some strange reason-"

**BANG!**

Ms. Bitters growled at having been interrupted _once again._ And seeing that it was Dib who had thrown the door open didn't make her feel any better.

"Sorry I'm late Ms. Bitters!" Dib exclaimed, holding an ice pack to his swollen eye. " _Someone_ threw a heavy ball at my face and I had to be rushed over to the nurses' office!" he said, shooting a glare at Zim.

Zim casually looked behind his shoulder at the classmates behind him. "Who threw the ball at the Dib-stink? I need to send you a gift basket!"

"Ms. Bitters!" Dib whined.

"Dib, on the way here, I heard a boy got ran over by a car. I actually got down on my knees and prayed it was you. Sit down before I start crying."

Dib didn't oblige. Instead he looked at the teacher that he had for the past few years. It was amazing how this lady managed to teach _every_ class he was in since he was ten. He would say she was stalking him, but he couldn't figure out the motivation.

"…Ms. Bitters? How much longer do you think you'll be alive?"

"Until the last rose in our town had died, Dib."

"But our town doesn't have any roses."

"I know. NOW SIT DOWN!" Once he finally obliged, the deranged teacher turned back to her class. "Now as I was saying before Dib decided to be a jerk, for some strange reason this class is going to see the musical, _Wicked."_

"The one with the cow?" random boy whined.

"No, that one was canceled to its copyright of _Home on the Range._ This is the one with the witch!"

Everyone burst out into cheers, whoops, and hollers. Everyone but Zim and Dib.

"Man, I hate that show!" Dib whined, pounding his fist into his desk. "Everyone knows you can't kill a witch with water you have to burn her at the stake!"

Zim scowled at his enemy. "Well, if the Dib-stink hates it, then I LOVE it!"

Dib was quick to pounce. "Please Zim! You expect me to believe that you've actually seen a musical?"

Zim's scowl turned into a glare. "What are you implying Dib-monster? That Zim is not good enough to see one of your Earthly musicaaaaals? Well, I'll have you know that ' _Wicked'_ is one of my absolute favorite musicals!"

"Oh yeah?" Dib smiled. "What's your favorite part?"

Zim's eyes went wide before he gulped. He chuckled nervously as he examined his surroundings. "Uh…the part….where the guy…..discovers he's wicked?"

"Ha!" Dib laughed. "The main character is a girl!"

Zim nervously noticed that the class was watching him. "Yes, but in my eyes….she's just as good as any man!"

All the girls and the random boy 'awwwed' at his sensitivity.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Oh whatever! Who's your favorite character?"

Zim blinked. "Uh….the wicked one?"

"There's like four wicked characters!"

"Oh….I can't choose between them! They're all so deliciously evil!"

"ENOUGH!" Ms. Bitters screeched. "Although I see nothing educational about a witch singing about her tragic life, the principle has decided it was 'too good' of an opportunity to pass."

Zim nodded. _I shall go this 'musical' and show the Dib-stink that I am worthy enough to view it! Perhaps it has some secret Earth info. I'm not sure what a witch is, but the information that this 'Wicked' will provide may be of great use to-wait, this skool has a principle?_


	10. We're Off to See The Wicked!

" _ **WICKED!"**_

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!"

"I can't wait!

I brought the tissues!"

Zim frowned as he noticed everyone getting so riled up. What was it about this 'Wicked' that had everyone bursting with excitement? Maybe Zim had been right before. Maybe 'Wicked' really _was_ a term used for an Earthling meeting. He grinned wickedly (no pun intended) at the thought. These silly humans were practically _gift wrapping_ their secrets to him! They were literally taking him straight into their fortress!

Zim's theory was confirmed as he entered the plaza where everyone was getting in their seats. It was pretty crowded and the room looked like it was prepared for royalty. The lights were set in a warming glow, the rug below his feet was made of the finest material, and the seats were pretty darn soft! But what really caught the Irken's attention was the light shining on the curtains.

Shining on the cloth that hid the stage was a map. A map with a shining green ring surrounding a certain area.

 _That must be where their head army is!_ Zim thought excitedly. True, he didn't remember Earth' s continents looking quite like that from what he had learned in class, but maybe this was a secret location that had been kept hidden from him? Yes, it had to be! He couldn't believe it! He had no idea why there was a giant statue of what humans call a 'dragon' above the stage, but who cared? He was about to learn all of he needed to know about Earth from this little trip he was given.

And it only took four years to get here!

Zim smiled as he looked for a place to sit. This was going to be great! If only the Gaz-human was here to witness this. She would probably love the opportunity to learn about her planet's military- what the Irk?

"Gaz-human?" Zim screeched at the sight. She was here! Right here, sitting in one of the seats with a bag of M&Ms. What in the name of the fallen invaders?

Said girl slowly looked up at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Zim was just about to ask that to you!" the invader said, rushing over to her side. "This trip is for Ms. Bitters' class! You are not in her class! Although that would be pretty entertaining…." His trailed off as he began to wonder what a Gaz vs. Ms. Bitters battle would be like.

Gaz merely shrugged. "Like I would miss out on a field trip. This is the perfect opportunity to get out of that dumb math test."

"Which I assume you didn't study for," Zim said in a teasing way.

Gaz instantly glared at him. "Don't assume anything with me, Zim."

"So….you did?" the Irken asked, a tad bit confused.

"Don't guess anything about me either!" she snapped, crushing most of her M&Ms.

Zim huffed before taking a seat beside her. "Well me-OW human girl! What's got you in an even worse mood than you usually are?"

Gaz opened her eyes slightly, just so she could intensify her glare. "Have you already forgotten what you did to me earlier?"

The Irken paused for a moment to think before he lowered his eyes sheepishly. "Oh….that."

The small girl shook her head. "Look, I already told you before, I'm not here to make friends with-"

"But it was just one kiss!" Zim interrupted. "It didn't mean anything!"

Snarling, Gaz punched her partner square in the shoulder. "Not THAT early! Grrr, I mean what happened this morning!"

Zim blinked in confusion. Oh yeah….that was a big issue for him an hour ago. "What? Are you _still_ upset about that?"

"I'm not upset!" Gaz said, her face flushing.

"Then what are you?"

"I don't know, you tell me!" Gaz growled, doing her best not to show how much the Irken had hurt her earlier.

Zim frowned. "Look, it's not like I'm not fond of you, I am! But I simply cannot overlook the fact that you're a human!"

"Shut up!" she barked.

"But-" His words were cut off as the small girl grabbed him by the front of his uniform.

"Listen Zim! _Wicked_ is the only musical that I can sit through without throwing up, so zip it! If you make me miss _Defying Gravity_ , you'll pay!"

**WICKED SPOILERS STARTS NOW!**

"But I thought we were seeing-"

"Sssh!"

Zim obliged, for at that moment, the lights had gone out. Zim smiled in delight. He couldn't wait to report to his Tallest. This was just too good to be true! Even the Gaz-human was excited to see the documentary! This was going to be-

**ROOOOOOOOAAAARR!**

Zim literally fell out of his seat as he heard trumpets begin to play, followed by a bellowing roar. As he got back up, he noticed the dragon above the map and begun to move….and breath smoke!

Zim became pale. Was this Earth's secret weapon? "Wha…What is this? It's alive!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Calm down, it's harmless. Just some special effects."

The Irken shook his head at the moving creature. He was _not_ comfortable with something that big moving above his head. Eventually though, the 'special effect' halted. A spotlight was cast and a single man in a monkey costume pranced on stage.

"Will he be delivering the information?" Zim whispered to his partner.

"What information?" the human girl asked.

Before Zim could respond, the music began to intensify as a group of people walked on stage. The Irken was once again startled as the map disappeared followed by the humans cheering their heads off.

Zim raised a non-existent eyebrow. What were these humans so happy about?

" _Good neeeeeeeeeews! She's deaaaaaaaaaad! The Witch of the West is dead!"_ The lights on the stage suddenly flew on as the humans began to perform a strange dance. _"The wickedest witch there ever was! The enemy of all of us here in Oz is deaaaaaaaad!"_

Zim's eye twitched. "Wha….why are these humans singing?"

"Well it _is_ a musical, Zim."

"Nobody told me there would be music in the musical!" he snapped. "And who is this witch that they are celebrating the death of? She must have been truly horrible if they are actually _singing_ about her death!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Are we seriously going to have a repeat of the mall episode?"

 _The mall?_ Zim pondered that for a minute before his eyes widened. "Victoria…." He whispered. It all made sense now.

"LOOK! IT'S GLINDA!"

Zim watched in amazement as a blonde human descended to the stage, carried by a circular…something. _She must be the one in charge. Hope she doesn't start singing too._

"Fellow Ozians," the one called 'Glinda' smiled. " _Let us be glaaaaaaad. Let us be gratefuuuuuuul. Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue, the wicked workings of you-know-who!"_

Zim shook his head. He wished he had an opportunity to meet the Victoria. She had a whole song number dedicated to her.

" _No one mourns the wicked!"_

" _No one cries they won't return!_

" _No one lays a lily on their grave!"_

The Irken was stunned by their words. For some reason, this verse made him think of his own life. What would happen when his PAK finally gave out and he passed away? Well….obviously his fellow Irkens would be crushed…right?

" _The good man scorns the wicked!"_

" _Through their lives our children learn…what we miss whenever we misbehave!"_

" _A goodness knows,"_ the Glinda sang, " _the wicked's lives are lonely. Goodness knows the wicked die alone! It just shows when you're wicked you're left only on your own!"_

 _Foolish female! We evil doers never feel lonely! We need no one's company but our own!_ Zim thought to himself. Was that what he was going to watch? A bunch of humans singing about the consequences about being evil? How pathetic! This was nothing his Tallest didn't already know!

"Glinda! Why does wickedness happen?" one of the humans asked.

_What?_

"That's a good question!" Glinda bubbled. "One that many people find confusifying!"

"This human…..is stupid! Even for Earth's standards!" Zim whispered.

"They're called barbies," Gaz whispered back.

"Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood. She had a father, who just so happened to be the governor of munchkinland."

_Munchkin?_

The next few minutes of…whatever it was he was watching, he wasn't so sure anymore…was basically the mayor and his wife singing how much they loved each other, before the mayor left for….something. Then the wife's look of affection quickly turned to disgust before she danced in the arms of another man.

This surprised Zim. He knew nothing of the human relationships, nor did he care about them. In yet it still somehow amazed him that they would go behind each other's back like that. If this was true, then why bother having 'relationships' at all? How did they know they could trust their mates? Did they simply not care?

Well, shortly after the other man left, the woman got really fat. Luckily, Zim _had_ researched over time how humans were produced, so the Irken was aware the woman was now "pregnant". He watched as everyone became ecstatic as the woman strained herself to deliver the newborn child. Yuck.

" _It's coming!"_

" _Now?"_

" _The baby's coming!"_

" _And how?"_

" _I see a nose!"_

" _I see a curl!"_

" _It's a healthy, perfect, lovely, little-"_

Zim nearly fell out of his seat again as the people on stage gasped in horror.

"What is it?" the mothe-unit asked. "What's wrong?"

They ignored her. _"How can it be?"_

" _What does it mean?"_

" _It's atrocious!"_

" _It's obscene!"_

The Irken found his curiosity getting the better of him.

" _Like a froggy, ferny, cabbage, the baby is unnaturally…GREEN!"_

Zim's mouth dropped open as he watched them lift up a plastic, green baby. He just couldn't believe it. How did the humans…how could they have….what did they know?

Sensing her partner's distress, Gaz slowly opened one eye and said, "Relax Zim, it's now an Irken."

"But! It's-!"

"I know, but she's supposed to be a witch. Witches are considered to be green on this planet, for whatever reason."

"Yes your brother mentioned those…what are witches Gaz-human?"

"They're powerful, ugly creatures who strike fear into children's hearts."

"Oh…"

"…."

"Dib-sister?"

"Yeah?

"Why aren't _you_ green?"

Gaz was about to open her mouth to release pain on his non-existent ears, but stopped when she saw the father reject his child, leaving her in the care of the nurse. She mentally roared at the sight. Having to see that father neglect and dismiss his child because she was different….it cut her deep. She glared at the stage, all while trying to fight back her rage. And maybe even tears. This did not go unnoticed by Zim.

He was about to ask her if he said something that bugged her, but was interrupted by the humans finishing their song up.

The Glinda girl was saying her farewells when one of the munchkins suddenly cried, "Glinda! Is it true that you were her friend?"

Everyone gasped in horror.

Glinda suddenly became nervous. "Well….yes." she winced as everyone gazed in horror. "Well it depends on what you mean by 'friend'. "

Zim rolled his eyes. _If I have to hear the F-word one more time…._

"I did know her. That is, our paths did cross. At school. But you must understand, it was a long time ago and we were both so young…"

The duo watched as the set was changed to where a bunch of young adults replaced the 'munchkins', including the green girl that Zim was now fascinated with. It was astonishing. The humans had created a girl who appeared to be the female version of himself! Sure, she had no PAK and she still had too many human features to be Irken, but still _…..a human who bore his skin color?_

His fondness of this character only grew as he watched her snap at the other humans for staring at her. So she was an outcast, just like himself. Oh, he had defiantly been made fun of for his skin color before. It was never the taunts that bugged him. He was proud of his skin. It was the fact that these humans had the audacity to mock him! He found himself silently rooting for the girl.

But apparently, her family did not. Her father, who had rejected her as a child, was now scolding her and reminding her that he loved his second child, the one who was in a chair for some odd reason, much more than his oldest. The Irken took notice that the second did not have green skin. He disliked her.

His dislike grew as he saw the father-unit give his un-green child sparkling shoes as a parting gift. That was unfair! He did not know much about how families operate, but why didn't the _green_ girl get anything? It was insulting!

The girl answered his question. "Well, what could he have gotten me? I clash with everything!"

Zim glared at his partner who had chuckled at the comment.

The duo watched as all the other classmates starteded to kiss up to the Glinda-girl, calling her their princess. The head mistress, Madame Morrible was not impressed with her. She was much more interested in the green girl's (who Zim was beginning to think was _not_ Victoria) sister. And, much to the Irken's dismay, she only looked at the older sister with disgust.

However, his mood was instantly lifted when it was announced that the Glinda-human and the green girl (whose name turned out to be Elphaba) would be roommates. That annoyed the green girl enough, but what really made her lose it was when the Morrible-lady wheeled her sister off to a private room. Elphaba began to panic as the stage lit up in a green light, with smoke blowing everywhere.

Zim hated to admit, but he was impressed. "Wow…."

Gaz shrugged. "Eh, I could do better…."

Although our favorite goth was unimpressed, Madame Morrible was. She told Elphaba that she would give her private lessons in sorcery, much to the girl's delight. Elphaba began to sing about how she would impress someone called 'the Wizard' and they would get to work side by side. Then the people of Oz would love her!

_ When I meet the Wizard _

_ Once I prove my worth _

_ When I meet the Wizard _

_ What I've waited for since, since birth! _

_How strange…_ Zim thought to himself. _It's like this girl is my clone. Not only does she look like me, but we share the same dreams too! One day I will show the Tallest the I, ZIM, am the greatest invader to ever be produced! Although I'll probably do it without the singing…._

Zim was surprised to see the Glinda join Elphaba shortly after her song….only to start a new song! This was one was about how the two different girls felt about sharing a room together.

" _What is this feeling, so sudden and new?"_ Glinda sang.

" _I felt the moment I laid eyes on you,"_ Elphaba responded.

" _My pulse is rushing."_

" _My head is reeling."_

" _My face is flushing."_

" _What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame. Does it have a name? Yeeeeeesssss…."_

" _LOATHING!"_

As the girls continued their song about hating one another and how they always would, Zim couldn't help but think about Dib. How fitting it would be if they just broke out into this song in the middle of skool? You know….if he had no pride…..But again, he found a song he could relate to. He would always detest the Dib-stink, and their war would never cease. Just like these two females. He hoped the 'Elphaba' would destroy the 'Glinda' girl.

Well, soon they were both in class where a giant goat was giving a lecture. He explained how he was the last talking animal in the skool, but nobody seems to care. Nobody but Elphaba that is. Personally, Zim found the goat's story boring. Basically he was sad about being different, Ephaba sympathized, the goat sang about how all animals are being forced not to talk, and Elphaba said they need to ask the Wizard for help. Personally, Zim thought he was just being paranoid, but his female-self seemed to believe him. Then again, she seemed like she was desperate for some positive attention, so….

Zim's boredom only grew as a new character was introduced. He was a pasty looking boy that Glinda called 'Fiyero'. He also noticed that others were worshipping him because…he had no idea why. Apparently the human was not that bright, for he began singing to his fellow classmates about how pointless skool was. And all the humans began to agree with him as he set up a party for everyone.

Zim did not like this idiotic human.

What got Zim's interest back on track was watching one of the munchkins named 'Boq' act nervous around Glinda. This confused the Irken. Did she scare him? Was she his master? Why was he bumbling like an idiot?

"Psst, Gaz-human. Why is that small human so shaky?"

"He's in love with Glinda."

"They're related?"

"No, he's IN love with her."

Zim blinked. "I do not understand. "

Gaz turned to him. "Do you even know what love is?"

"I know the love some warriors have for their superiors, as well as the fact that human families seem to experience this emotion for each other."

 _Most of the time,_ Gaz thought to herself. "Well, to be 'in love' with someone means that you care about a person of the opposite gender so much that you would do anything for them."

Zim was astounded. "Anything?"

Gaz nodded. "Anything. Sometimes, when you're _so_ deeply in love with someone, you'll even die for them."

This shocked Zim. He knew humans paired off with one another over time, but he had no idea that such emotions were behind it. He knew there was pathetic affection involved but….. _dying_ for one another?

"Dib-sister, have you ever been in love?"

"No, and I don't plan to. In the end, it just gets you hurt."

"Well I guess so, considering you're willing to lose your own life for the other."

"Can't get over that part, can you?"

"Noooo…"

Well, according to Zim's observations, the Glinda girl did not 'in love' with Boq back. Instead, she seemed to 'in love' Fiyero. This slightly confused the Irken. He watched as the Glinda girl asked Boq to ask Nessarose (Elphaba' sister) to the party.

"I would do anything for you Ms. Galinda!" Boq announced proudly.

_Huh, I guess the Dib-sister was right…_

The Glinda girl then made her way over to Fiyero and proceeded to 'in love' him. Zim smiled with pride when he saw that Elphaba was the only one unaffected by Fiyero's charms. Nessarose wheeled in saying how happy she was that Boq had asked her out. She told her sister that Glinda had set them up and began showering her with praise.

"Nessa is in love with Boq, just in case you missed that," Gaz told Zim.

"What?" Zim screeched. "So the whiny girl is in love with the short guy who's in love with the blond menace who's in love with the idiot?"

"Oh trust me, it gets a lot more complex," Gaz smirked.

"Do human ever feel mutual about each other's feelings?" Zim asked.

"No."

"Huh…this seems like a painfully complex emotion…"

"Welcome to Earth."

"Kinda late on that, don't you think?"

"Not late enough."

They then watched as Glinda received a black, pointed hat that repulsed her. Giggling to her friends, she gave to hat to Elphaba, telling her that the green girl deserved it more than she did.

The following event was of Boq trying to tell Nessarose that he was only taking her out to impress Glinda, but he chickened out at the last minute, instead claiming she was incredibly beautiful. Nessa was obviously pleased with the response.

Zim was starting to get bored again, until he saw the Morrible lady give Glinda a wand, much to her delight.

"How can I ever express my gratitude?" Glinda bubbled, much to the invader's annoyance.

"Oh, don't thank me. It was your roommate's idea, not mine!" Morrible droned.

"What? Elphaba?"

Zim instantly snapped out of his boredom at these words. "What? W-Why? _How could she?"_ He actually felt a little betrayed. Why would she help her mortal enemy? That was the whole part of the 'enemy'! He voiced his concerns to his scary comrade.

"She helped her sister, so she's returning the favor," Gaz told him.

Zim pondered this. "Yes, Zim understands what it means to be indebted to someone, but the blonde human did nothing for the green girl! Why does she feel the need to repay her?"

"Elphaba loves her sister, and wants her to be happy. Glinda made her happy. Therefor she wants to help her in return."

Zim shook his head. "That's ridiculous. If the blonde human was stupid enough to help the sister of her mortal enemy, then she deserves no 'gratitude'! She deserves to be taken advantage of!"

"Um…you helped me once. Aren't _I_ the sister of your mortal enemy?"

Zim rolled his eyes. "That's different! I didn't help you for my own selfish neeeeeeds!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "So wait….that makes _you_ the less dastardly one?"

"EXACTLY!"Zim finished, shrugging off the weird feeling that he missed something.

They turned back to the stage as it suddenly got quiet. They watched as the Ozians glared as Elphaba entered the party. She wore a dark green frolic along with the black hat given to her by Glinda. The music had stopped. Nobody was dancing.

But the green girl didn't let it get to her. Instead of running or hiding from this embarrassment, she began to by herself. With no music and no elegance.

"Well, I'll say this, she doesn't give a twig about what other people think," Fiyero observed.

Glinda looked sad. "Of course she does…she just pretends not to….I feel awful." Slowly, she made her way over to the lonely girl. "Uh…may I cut in?" She then danced alongside Elphaba, with equal awkwardness. The green girl seemed skeptical at first, she eventually played along. And the Ozians, seeing their idol dancing alongside the girl, soon joined them as the music resumed.

Before Zim could question what the Irk just happened, the stage moved to show the two girls sitting in their room together. The blonde one was jumping up and down. Zim struggled to prevent his eye from twitching.

"Let's tell each other secrets! I'll go first!" Glinda sqealed. "Fiyero and I are going to be MARRIED!"

"He already asked you?" Elphaba asked.

"Oh, he doesn't know yet."

After that, Zim learned that Elphaba was actually _ashamed_ of her green skin, much to his astonishment. And that the only reason her sister was in the chair, was because her mother chew milk flowers day and night to (somehow) prevent her next baby from being green. This caused the baby to be born early and her legs to become tangled up followed by the mother dying of childbirth.

Zim was unsympathetic. He thought if the woman and her child were too weak to make it out in perfect condition, then that was their problem. What really got the Irken's attention was that the Glinda girl was trying to comfort her!

"I do not understand! Why is she suddenly being so nice to her enemy?" Zim asked his partner.

"They're friends now."

"WHAAAAAAT?" Zim screeched.

"Shhhhh!" the audience hissed.

"But…but what about the song? I thought they said they would be loathing each other for all eternity?" Zim asked, hating to see the female version of himself befriending a human (or Munchkin. Whatever.) who was supposed to be her mortal enemy! It was as ridiculous as him and Dib becoming friends! Not only that, but she was offering to give her a MAKEOVER! Whatever the Irk that was!

"They've put aside their differences and decided to start anew. For _some_ people, it's not that hard," Gaz hissed.

"Oh, come off it, Earth girl!"

The show proceeded with the Glinda girl trying to make Elphaba 'popular', and quite frankly, Zim did not trust a word this girl said. She had to be playing the green girl for a fool as she pranced around the stage. She was just using this 'friendship' thing to reveal Elphaba as a witch! _Well nice try Di-erGlinda!_ he thought to himself. _Elphaba will always be on top!_

" _Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I_

_ And let's face it, who isn't _

_ Less fortunate than I? _

_ My tender hearts tends to start to bleed _

_ And when someone needs a makeover _

_ I simply HAVE to take over! _

_ I know, I know exactly what they need _

_ And even in your case _

_ Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face _

_ Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed! _

_ Follow me lead! _

_ And yes indeed, you will be…. _

_ Popular! _

_ I'll help you be popular! _

_ I'll teach you the proper ploys _

_ When you talk to boys! _

_ Little ways to flirt and flounce! _

_ I'll show you what shoes to wear! _

_ How to fix your hair! _

_ Everything that really counts to be _

_ Popular! _

"Oh sweet Irk, make it stop!" Zim begged, unable to handle the girl's…girlyness. He tugged at his wig furiously, hoping it would stop him from jumping on stage and strangling the female.

"Just imagine her head popping on one of those high notes. It eases the pain," Gaz whispered.

Apparently Elphaba couldn't take it anymore either, as she quickly ran off the stage the first chance she got. Zim felt a sense of pride swell inside him at the insulting deed….but it was instantly shattered as he saw the green girl had actually followed Glinda's advice, for the next day she was dressed a little more lady-like.

Zim placed a claw over his human partner's hand. "Don't ever come in my base looking like that, understood?"

Gaz couldn't help but smile a little.

The invader instantly grew bored again as the goat teacher announced he was being replaced. _About time,_ Zim thought to himself. Elphaba was distressed of course, especially when the new human doctor tells the class that animals should be locked away in cages and demonstrates with a lion cub. She then threw another magical temper tantrum, took the cage, and ran out of the classroom with Fiyero.

The two of them bickered for a while and then they….didn't. Fiyero left, leaving Elphaba in a daze. Softly she sang:

" _Hands touch_

_ Eyes meet _

_ Sudden silence _

_ Sudden heat _

_ Hearts leap in a giddy whirl _

_ He could be that boy _

_ But I'm not that girl _

Zim once again found himself terribly confused. "Uh…what's happening?"

"She's falling in love with him," Gaz informed him.

Zim's mouth dropped open. "WHAT? But he's a human-thing and she is a powerful Irk-I mean, witch! Why would she…HOW could she?"

"I don't know, just shut up!" Gaz hissed.

Zim was now beyond ticked. He thought this girl and he were one and the same! But even though he only knew about being in love for a couple of minutes, he knew Irkens would never do such a thing! That's why he had never heard of it! Shame on her for wasting time developing 'in love' with this filthy human, Munchkin or not! Besides, he loved the annoying, blonde girl. Zim hoped she snapped out of her foolishness soon.

Luckily the Morrible lady showed up to mark the end of her song. She told her that the Wizard has asked to see her and she was too depart for Emerald City immediately. Everyone came to say goodbye to her. Even Boq and Nessa, who were apparently still together. Fiyero said good-bye, acting like a nervous wreck in doing so. The blonde human changed her name to 'Glinda' (Wait, what was it before?), and Elphaba asked her to come with her to Emerald City, much to Zim's annoyance.

He instantly brightened as he saw the stage light up with brilliant green lights. He had to admit, it looked amazing. The humans were all dressed in green, the lights were shining green, everything was just so….green! _Yeah, when I take over the world, this is SO going to be the design for my palace!_

But the amazing effects weren't finished yet. The girls sang a bit about the city and their friendship (egh), and then came to meet the Wizard, who turned out to be a glowing animatronic head. Zim was exceedingly impressed, until a normal human came out of the magnificent machine. Wow, major let down.

The Wizard then sang to Elphaba….actually Zim didn't understand what exactly he was singing about. Something about wanting to be a father-unit. (Which was dumb in Zim' opinion. He was the ruler of the universe. What else could he want?) He then told Elphaba she had to prove herself if she wanted to work alongside him. He called for Madame Morrible, who was the Wizard's press secretary (Huh, small world), and she handed the green girl a book.

Elphaba slowly read the strange language in the book, causing a nearby monkey to sprout wings. Not just him either, a whole cage full of monkeys! Elphaba was horrified, but the Wizard couldn't be more proud. Apparently that animal story that Zim had neglected to listen to was important. The _Wizard_ had actually been the one in charge of the whole business with imprisoning animals. Horrified, Elphaba ran out with the magic book, Glinda and guards on her tail.

"Wow….that was an unexpected turn of events that strayed off the straight path," Zim muttered.

"It's called a twist," Gaz informed him.

Glinda was the first to catch up to Elphaba as she pleaded with her to apologize for her behavior. But Elphaba refused. She said she no longer cared about working with the Wizard. She was going to do things _her_ way from then on out. Glinda tried to change her mind, but the green girl would hear nothing of it.

" _I'm through accepting limits!_

_ Cause someone says there's so. _

_ Some things I cannot change _

_ But until I try I'll never know! _

_ Too long I've been afraid of  _

_ Losing love I guess I lost! _

_ Well if that's love _

_ It comes at much to high a cost! _

_ I'd sooner try defying gravity! _

_ Kiss me goodbye! _

_ I'm defying gravity! _

_ And you can't pull me down! _

Zim then understood why the Gaz-human liked this song so much. It was inspiring, and it made him think of his own leaders. He flashed back to what Tak had once told him, that he was nothing more than a mere joke to the Tallest. He knew it wasn't true but….why did he feel so defensive when she said that? What would he do without his Tallest's respect? What if they really didn't take him seriously? What he be able to break away from them like Elphaba was breaking away from her Wizard? It was something to be pondered.

The green girl asked Glinda to come with her, but she refused. They said they're good-byes ( _Good riddance!_ Zim had thought) and Elphaba then took to the skies. No really, she _literally_ took to the skies. She levitated above the stage as smoke blew around her.

" _So if you care to find me!_

_ Look to the western sky! _

_ As someone told me lately _

_ Everyone deserves the chance to fly! _

_ And if I'm flying solo _

_ At least I'm flying free! _

_ To those who ground me _

_ Take a message back from me _

_ Tell them how I'm defying gravity! _

_ I'm flying high defying gravity _

_ And soon I'll match them in renown! _

_ And nobody in all of Oz _

_ No Wizard that there is or was _

_ Is ever going to bring ME DOWN! _

**SPOILER BREAK!**

The curtains closed as Elphaba finished her song and was declared a wicked being by the people of Oz.

Zim blinked in surprise. "Huh, I guess the story's over." He stood up and stretched. "Well, I suppose all is right in that little Ozian world. I'm sure little Elphaba will conquer the Wizard eventually. Kudos to her. Let us be on our way now."

"Play's not over yet, Zim," Gaz informed her partner.

"Then why did they stop?"

"They're just taking a break."

"Yes, taking over the world does take a lot out of you," Zim agreed. "But I think-"

"HEY GAZ!"

"Oof!" Zim groaned as he was roughly pushed away from the goth human. He watched as a familiar human boy took his place beside the girl.

Gaz's eyes widened. " _Iggens?_ What are you doing here?"

"Same reason you as you, my little violent violet!" the bulgy-eyed human smiled.

"You're trying to get out of a math test too?" Zim asked, oblivious to his obvious flirting.

"You don't even go to the same skool as us!" Gaz growled at the idiotic boy.

"I have my ways," he said as he inched closer to her. "Sooo….are you enjoying the musical so far?"

"Go away."

"Why? Let's watch the rest of the show together!" he wheezed.

"Did you not learn the last time that this human girl does not enjoy your company?" The Irken sneered. For some unknown reason, he was annoyed that this human was trying to ignore his presence and steal away the Earth girl's company.

"Oh right… _you_ still exist," the human sneered. "Why don't you go chew on some vegetables?"

"HA! It is _you_ who shall be chewing on the vegetables when I am done with you! You do not speak to the almighty Zi-"

Iggens yawned.

Zim's mouth dropped open. "Oh, OH! You DID NOT just yawn at the great Zim! Ooooh! Oh! Things just got REAL!"

"Shut it Zim. You're not cool," Gaz told him. She then turned back to her admirer. "Look pig face, I don't have time for you. I want to be able to keep my bile down by the second act, so get lost!"

"But Gaz-"

"Enough Iggens boy!" Zima announced, as he wrapped an arm around the seething human girl. "The scary human would much rather spend time with the glorious _Ziiiim,_ because he has offered her something you never could!"

"What?"

"I said, 'The glorious _Ziiiiim_ has offered-"

"I know what you said, but what is-"

"A star."

" _What?"_ both humans exclaimed.

"That's right, squishy human. I, the GREAT ZIM, have plucked a star out of the solar system, and given it to this small human in exchange for her company."

"What the quack?" Gaz muttered.

"That's a lie!" Iggens growled, loathing the green menace in front of him.

"HONESTY! Not even the Gaz-human could resist a real, fire-blazing star! Something only _I_ could obtain for her!" Zim smirked.

Iggens glared. "Well I'll bet that I can get an even better one for her!"

"Oh really?"

"Sure can! Watch my smoke!" And then he was gone.

"That ought to keep him out of our hair for a while," Zim smiled before sitting back down.

"Um…thanks," Gaz muttered.

"Hey, he gave me The Yawn! The human either left or died!"

"Shut up. Story's back on."

**Spoilers resume**

Sure enough, the play resumed with the Ozians singing about the years of torment the 'Witch' had brought on them. _(But it's only been a few minutes!_ Zim thought to himself.) Glinda, Fiyero, and Madame Morrible appeared shortly after.

Glinda was now the right hand partner of the Wizard. Zim was infuriated. _This was her plan all along! Pretend to be friends with the Elphaba girl so she could steal her dream job! I knew it all along! Never trust a human who can squeal higher than an aquatic animal!_

Fiyero was now captain of the guard and had been searching years for Elphaba. Glinda announced to everyone that they were engaged, (whatever that meant) surprising the crowd as well as Fiyero.

What angered the Irken further was that the Morrible and human girl had made up a story of how it was _Glinda_ who had been summoned by the Wizard and Elphaba had attacked out of jealousy. Fiyero and the blonde girl both stepped aside to agree that they didn't like treating Elphaba as a villain, but they had no choice. Or rather, _Glinda_ had no choice.

Glinda then went on with her song about how sorry she was, but she was still happy, blah, blah, blah. Zim bought none of it. All this scene did was prove that he was right about the evil human and who knows what the boy was thinking….

The next scene came with the Nessarose and Boq, much to Zim's surprise. He had completely forgotten about them. Anyway, Elphaba appeared asking for her sister's help. She refused, stating that their father-unit was dead. Again, Zim felt no sympathy, but he was surprised that one of the characters were actually killed off.

Nessarose also revealed that she was bitter about how her sister never used her new powers to help her out of her chair.

" _All of my life I depended on you_

_ How do you think that feels? _

_ All of my life I've depended on you _

_ And this hideous chair with wheels! _

_ Scourging for scraps of pity _

_ And longing to kick up my heels…" _

Personally, Zim thought she was being selfish. Here she was whining about her own life, when it was her sister who was running from the law! Maybe she was in cahoots with Glinda. She sure had been kissing up to her in the earlier acts.

Despite Zim's inner protests, Elphaha cast a spell on the shoes she had received years ago ( _They still fit her?_ Zim thought), and they gave her the ability to walk. Zim really needed to get one of those books.

Apparently, Nessarose thought walking made her more attractive, because she instantly went to Boq, expecting him to ravish her with love and affections. However, Boq still seemed hung up on Glinda as he hoped to stop their engagement.

 _Interesting….when humans fall in love…do they feel that way forever? Even as years go by? Mental note: ask the Gaz-human more about love later._ Zim thought to himself.

Apparently, the Nessa-sister had become evil, as she was ruling the Ozians with an iron fist. She then took her sister's magic book and caused the Boq-thing to lose his heart. Zim was proud of her wicked deed, before she began another sappy song.

_ Save him please, oh just save him! _

_ My poor Boq, my sweet, my brave, _

_ Don't leave me 'til my sorry life has ceased… _

_ All alone and loveless here _

_ Just this girl in the mirror _

_ Just her and me _

_ The Wicked Witch of the East! _

_ We deserve each other… _

After that Elphaba left, claiming her sister was whiny brat who was never pleased with what she had. Or at least that's what Zim heard. Oh, and apparently she turned Boq into a robot so he wouldn't die. Cool.

Elphaba then sneaked into the Wizard's fortress, where…she was quickly discovered. The Wizard did the classic "join me" speech, but unlike most prideful villains, he did it through song.

" _They call me wonderful_

_ So I am! _

_ In fact, it's so much who I am, that it's part of my name! _

_ And with my help, you can be the same! _

_ At long, long last receive your due! _

_ Long overdue! _

_ Elphaba, the most celebrated  _

_ Are the rehabilated!" _

Zim watched in horror as Elphaba began to be sucked in to the Wizard's corny song. _No! Do not listen to him! Record this annoying song so you can use it or blackmail!_

At the end of the torturous charade, Elphaba agreed to the Wizard's invitation, as long as he released the flying monkeys in the process. He did so, but also accidentally revealed that he had imprisoned Dr. Dillamond. He could no longer speak and Elphaba turned on the Wizard once again.

"Woot!" Zim hooted.

The Wizard called the guards again, causing Fiyero and Fiyero to be reunited. Glinda arrived shortly, overjoyed to see her friend again. _(Yeah right)_ But that instantly changed, as Fiyero announced that he was going with Elphaba. They left, and the blonde was left with the Wizard.

Her true evilness showing its ugly head, Glinda told the Wizard to spread a rumor that her sister was in danger. Then Elphaba would come out and then they would have their captive. As if this wasn't enough proof on how evil the human girl was, she stole one of Elphaba's songs! That MONSTER!

Well, soon she was gone, and Elphaba and Fiyero took the stage. They were holding each other and singing softly to each other.

_ Kiss me too fiercly _

_ Hold me too tight _

_ I need help believing _

_ You're with me tonight _

_ My wildest dreaming _

_ Could not forsee _

_ Lying beside you _

_ With you wanting to me! _

_ And just for this moment _

_ As long as you're mine, _

_ I've lost all resistance _

_ And crossed some border line _

_ And if it turns out it's over too fast _

_ I'll make every last moment last _

_ As long as you're mine. _

"What's happening?" Zim whispered.

"It's just some mushy between Fiyero and Elphaba. They're admitting they're in love with each other, and…..that's pretty much it."

Zim's mouth dropped open in a comical fashion. "B-But-how? That human knows she's an Irk-I mean, a witch! I know the Elphaba girl had a strange emotional attachment towards him, but you can't mean to tell me that he is willing to look past her evilness and want to pursue a relationship with her!"

"Yeah. Love is crazy like that. So I hear," Gaz told him.

Zim shook his head. "Un-Irken-believable!" he muttered.

After the song, Elphaba and Fiyero continued to be 'in love', until the green girl claimed to 'feel' her sister in danger. Personally, Zim thought she was just making an exscuse to get away from the ugly human, especially after she told him it was a flying house out to get her sister-unit. However, his suspicions were dashed as the next scene showed a crushed house with a lone wheelchair beside it.

_The whiny human died? Huh._

"What a touching display," Elphaba sneered, as she entered the scene. The blonde human had been mourning the pathetic human, but instantly stood at the sight of the green girl.

"I don't think we have anything left to say to one another!" she huffed.

"I wanted something to remember her by, and all that is left of her are those shoes, and now that wretched little farm girl has walked off with them. So I'd appreciate some time alone with my sister!"

"What's her problem?" Zim asked.

"She's sad because her sister died," Gaz told him.

"Why?"

"You know how normal families love each other? Well, that love makes them sad when a member dies.

"Really? You and the Dib-monster don't seem that way."

"I said _normal_ families."

After the green girl's mourning, she decided to turn her sorrow into rage and she began to throw insults at the blonde girl. To which the blonde girl returned.

"What exactly have you been doing besides riding around on that ratty old thing?" Glinda glared.

"Well, we can't all come and go by bubble, Glinda! Whose invention was that? Was it the Wizard's? Of course, even if it wasn't he'd probably take credit for it anyway."

"Well, it seems a lot of us are taking things that don't belong to us, aren't we?"

Everyone in the audience 'ooooooooed'.

"Now wait just a tik tok. I know it may be difficult for that blissful, blonde head of yours to comprehend that someone like him could actually chose someone like me. But it's happened."

"Tell that conniving human!" Zim encouraged.

"And you can wave that ridiculous wand all you want, but you can't change it!"

"So true!' the Irken continued his rant.

"He never belonged to you! He doesn't love you, he never loved you!"

"Yes! Hurt her where it hurts the most!"

"He loves me!"

_Slap!_

The invader who had been rooting the entire time suddenly became silent. He could not believe his fake eyes. "She…..she slapped her! That blonde demon woman attacked her! PLEASE tell me the green girl goes enchanted on her hiney?"

Gaz didn't get a chance to answer, for Elphaba seemed to temporarily forget that she had magical powers. Instead, she decided to stoop to the Glinda girl's level and return her immature attack. This continued for a few seconds before the Wizard's soldiers came to break them up.

Elphaba finally realized that her so called "friend" had planned her capture. Zim was hoping _now_ the girl would bust out the big, creepy, glowing, special effects. However, that stupid human boy burst in and came to the girl's rescue, resulting in his own capture.

Apparently, this did not sit well with his female alter ego. The next scene showed the girl screaming in rage by what had occurred. She began to chant in…magic-nese? Who knew, probably one of the many Earthling languages. Not only that, but she found this an appropriate time to sing.

_ Let his flesh not be torn. _

_ Let his blood leave no stain. _

_ When they beat him, let him feel no pain! _

_ Let his bones never break, and however they try to destroy him _

_ Let him never die! _

_ Let him never die! _

Zim was instantly pulled in to this song as it dawned on him. This girl, this green, different, non-human, girl was _finally_ about to take over the world! About time! Zim didn't know why the capture of Fiyero was what triggered this change, but hey! He was finally going to see this girl do what she should've done since the beginning of this 'musical'!

" _No good deed goes unpunished_

_ No act of charity goes unresented _

_ No good deed goes unpunished _

_ That's my new creed! _

_ My road of good intention led _

_ Where all roads always lead _

_ No good deed _

_ Goes unpunished! _

Although Zim got annoyed every time she mentioned Fiyero, this was the only song that the invader thoroughly enjoyed. Mostly because every word was true. Doing good deeds was pointless. It only came back to bite you in the rear. He was glad the girl had finally learned her lesson.

However, the next scene became his greatest nightmare. All the huma-Ozians had formed an angry mob to come and get the witch. Not that Zim didn't think she could handle them, but the girl had a bad habit of not remembering the power she held. Even the Boq-boy, who the green girl had saved, was now turning against the girl. Ungrateful little metal man!

Oh, and now the blonde girl _apparently_ felt bad for getting Elphaba's sister killed and ruining her reputation. Oh, and it turned out the Morrible lady was the one who started the cyclone. So, Glinda ran to go warn Elphaba of her impending doom…though Zim had no idea why.

The green girl was apparently holding the shoe-stealing girl hostage, much to Glinda's dismay. Zim braced himself for the battle that was about to commence. Finally he would get to see a war between the two girls! Finally, there would be blood….

Not.

Right before the battle could commence, Elphaba got a letter stating the Fiyero-boy was dead. That annoyed Zim enough, but what made it worse was the fact the girl decided to SURRENDER! She GAVE UP without even starting the battle! Zim felt sick.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Zim growled. "Why does that boy have such a strong hold on that girl's decision making?"

Oh, but it got worse. Another song began after this announcement. And this one was by far the worse yet.

_ I'm limited. _

_ Just look at me. _

_ I'm limited. _

_ And just look at you _

_ You can do all I couldn't do, Gllinda _

_ So now it's up to you _

_ For both of us _

_ Now it's up to you _

"You're the only friend I've ever had," Elphaba told her.

"And I've had so many," Glinda sobbed. "But only one that really mattered."

" _I've heard it said_

_ That people come into our lives  _

_ For a reason _

_ Bringing something we must learn _

Zim couldn't listen any more. He could not believe after all the build-up, all the acts of betrayal…..they decided to make amends. And now they were finishing up with a mushy song? What a terrible ending! The Elphaba girl wasn't going to take over the world? She wasn't going to kill the blonde human? She wasn't going to get those oh-so important shoes? She wasn't even going to FIGHT?

Nope. As soon as the song was done, Elphaba sent her away and she LET the filthy Ozians pour water on her, and kill her. This convinced Zim that this girl was definitely a humanized Irken. She even shared his weakness!

Well, the Glinda girl pretended to be sad (Zim still didn't trust her) and then went back to the Wizard and Morrible. Despite his disappointment in this story, the Irken got a huge surprise once he learned the Wizard was the Elphaba's true father-unit. He even grew a shred of respect for the Glinda girl when she kicked him out of Oz and threw the Morrible in prison. Giving the boot to the ones who helped you reach fame? Sinisterly evil!

And what's more, the Fiyero-boy returned as a man made out of straw! And what's this? Elphaba had been hiding under a trap door? They decide to leave Oz and start a life together (Zim held back his groan), but not before one final song.

_ Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but _

_ Because I knew you _

_ Because I knew you _

_ I have been changed…. _

_No one mourns the Wicked!_ The Ozians belted out

_ Wicked! _

_ Wicked  _

_ WICKED! _

* * *

**Spoilers Over!**

"What do you mean she's not real? I just saw her!" Zim fumed as he left the building with his partner.

"It was just a story," Gaz groaned. She knew he was dense, but this was taking the cake. "You can't blackmail her into helping us take over the world."

Zim sputtered. "What makes you think I was going to-why not?"

"Because the person playing Elphaba has no real power."

"Not true! Lies! I saw her magic! Do not attempt to fool meeeeeeeee!" Zim screeched.

"They were just special effects, Zim. Nothing more," she argued.

"Nonbeliever."

"Sissy-boy."

"Creepy kid."

"Vegetable head."

"Square head."

"Zipper teeth."

"Girl-whose-hair-looks-like-open-snake-jaw!"

"VILLAINY!"

That one did not come from the duo. They turned their heads to see a certain someone that they both would like to choke.

"Stay out of this, Dib-stink! Can't you see I'm losing an argument with your sister?" Zim screeched.

The boy only fumed as he marched in front of his little sister. "I warned you to stay away from her Zim! Now you'll have to face the consequences!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow before pointing to the auditorium. "Did….you just come out of there?"

"Yeah, so?" her brother asked.

"Nothing, I just thought we would've run into you in there. Not often you and Zim are apart."

"Now's not the time for that!" Dib frowned, turning back to the alien. "I want you to let her go!"

"Yeah? Well, I want to open my own zoo full of Irish zebras! You can't always get what you want Dib!"

The boy shook his head. "What? Irish zebras? There's no such thing!"

"Now you see why it's so DIFFICULT?"

"Whatever Zim! I'm taking my baby sister-"

"I'm not a baby!" Gaz fumed.

"Until you pay rent, you are a baby to me!" Dib informed her.

"Hey! Who's the one who scared them into giving us more time?"

"Who's the one who picks up Bigfoot's _dung_ every afternoon to pay for the rent?"

"Well, who's the one who reads the comics every Sunday morning in the newspaper?"

The Membrane siblings turned their heads towards the Irken in confusion. He scratched the back of his head nervously. "Hahe, sorry. I was feeling a little left out there."

Dib shook his head and grabbed his sister's hand. "Gaz, we're leaving."

"No."

Dib froze. "W-What?"

"I said no."

"W-W-Why?"

"Well for one thing we need the bus to leave. Second of all, I'm not leaving my partner," she revealed to her overly-neglectful brother.

Dib peed his pants before whispering, "WHAT? What do you mean?"

"I mean Zim asked me to help-"

"Aid!"

"Shut up, Zim."

"Hmph."

"Anyway, I've been living with Zim for the past few days. We've been plotting to take over the world, and I gotta say, we've had some crazy adventures!" the pale girl sneered, enjoying the look of despair on her brother's face.

"This can't be….." Dib breathed.

"Oh, it be," Zim whispered in his ear.

The human boy sunk to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes," Gaz smirked. She marched over to her partner and grabbed his arm. "Let's go, Zim."

The green boy growled. "Stop yanking me, woman!"

"Shut up! I still haven't forgiven you for earlier!"

"Oh sweet Irk, LET THAT GO!"

"Keep it up, and YOU'LL be sleeping on the couch tonight!"

"What? How dare you…"

Dib had no choice but to watch on in horror as his sister walked off with his arch enemy. This couldn't be happening….his sister was cruel, but she wasn't _evil_ , right? No, there had to be a mistake!

"Gaz, you get back here this minute! I mean it! Gaz, I swear I'll break out the belt…..that's in my other pants! Gaz, I'm going to count to three! One….two…two and a half…..two and- GAZ COME BACK! GAZ? GAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!"


	11. Friends At Last!

" _Dad….I don't understand…._

_The professor sighed before running his fingers through his hair. He knelt down beside his son and placed both hands on his small shoulders. "Son….we've searched all we could, but…there's been no trace of her."_

_Dib shook his head in denial. No….there had to be a mistake! This had to be a dream! She couldn't be gone….she couldn't be…._

_NO!_

" _WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND HER?" The five-year-old boy wailed. "PEOPLE DON'T JUST DISAPPEAR!"_

" _Son, calm dow-"_

" _NO!" Dib screamed, tears streaming down his face. "I WANT MY MOM! SHE HAS TO COME BACK! SHE HAS TO!"_

" _DIB!" his father cried, shaking the boy's small form. "You need to get a hold of yourself! Crying hysterically won't bring her back!"_

_But Dib refused to listen to his father. "No! She can't be dead! The aliens must have gotten her!"_

_His father groaned. "Dib….we have reason to believe your mother was attacked. No one can find her body. I think-"_

" _Then how do you know she's dead?' Dib wailed._

" _Because we did find some of her blood. She was definitely wounded, and since we can't seem to find her…"_

" _NO! You're just not looking hard enough! She can't be dead! I won't let her be!" Dib sobbed, barely able to contain his voice by now._

" _Son, look at me!" his father exclaimed, tilting his son's head so that they were eye-to-eye. "You have to be strong! Your sister needs you! You have to look out for her!"_

_Dib's bottom lip quivered. "What about you?"_

_His dad nervously scratched the back of his head. "Well…you know I have work….but I'll be here when I can! Son, it's time for you to step up and be a man!"_

" _But I'm only five."_

" _And in another ten years, you'll be fifteen! You need to look after your sister, Dib. She needs you. You need to be there for her and protect her from danger. It's what your mother would've wanted."_

_Dib sunk his head in understanding._

" _And now that you're the man of the house, I think it's high time I treated you like one! Let me tell you where babies come from!"_

Dib shuddered before his flashback could continue. He had been sitting in his sister's room for over an hour now. It was a good thing she shut of her dolls before she left.

Left….

She left….

Dib sighed before taking a sip of the water he was drinking. Was he _that_ terrible to her? Was he so bad of a brother that she would run away to go live with someone she _knew_ was an alien? Well, obviously he was, considering the fact that he didn't even know she had left in the first place!

Not only that, but she had even joined forces with him! Who knew she was actually being serious when she said she would destroy the world? What was he going to do now? How could he bring himself to fight his own sister? She was practically the only family he had!

Dib growled as he felt his hatred for the green alien grow. Zim had stooped to a new low. He had taken his baby sister away. She must have been hurt from his harshness before, and the green creature must have manipulated those feelings into wanting to help him.

_Smash!_

Dib winced as he felt the broken glass that had contained his water slice his skin. But he didn't care. As he slowly looked at the blood flowing from his hand, he took the time to imagine it was the alien's blood. As he watched the liquid flow, he slowly came to a realization.

Enough was enough.

He was done messing around with Zim.

He was going to free his sister.

And then he was going to _kill_ the Irken.

He swore it on his mother's grave.

* * *

Meanwhile, far into the galaxy, inside the Irken mother ship, a very heated debate was going on. One that had been held on Earth for so long, that it somehow reached the leaders of the evil invaders. Unfortunately, they both had two completely different views of the situation, and neither was about to give in.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Red exclaimed to his partner.

"I kid you not!" Purple stuck his 'nose' in the air. "You sir, obviously don't know how to handle a situation like this!"

"You're crazy!" Red accused. "Bella and Edward! Happily ever after!"

"Please! Edward is way too emo! Not to mention he always looks like he's constipated!" the other Tallest retorted.

"Jacob is a selfish little brat!" Red told him. "And he's a show-off! He seems to have a serious condition that leaves him unable to keep his shirt on!"

"And you're saying Edward doesn't have his selfish moments?" Purple declared. "I'll bet-"

Both Irken leaders stopped their oh-so important debate, when their computer began to glow. A few seconds later, a deadpanned voice announced, "Sirs, Zim would like to talk to you."

"Finally!" Red exclaimed in joy, therefor confusing…pretty much all the living things inside the room.

"Um….Skoodge? Be a dear and release Red from wherever it is you are hiding him," Purple said uneasily.

"Pur, have you forgotten why I let Zim keep his life and have his little deal?" Red chuckled, while heading over towards the controls. "I wanted to see him make a fool of himself and maybe finally realize what a failure he is!"

"Oh yeah! I hope he gets down on his knees and _begs_ us to spare his life! Haha!" Purple exclaimed as he joined his friend towards the screen. He paused for a moment. Then he turned to the smarter leader and said, "Say Red….you ever get the feeling that we are complete and utter jerks?"

"Yeah…." Red smiled dreamily. "But we're tall, so we can get away with it!"

The computer suddenly flashed on, revealing a smiling tiny invader. He also seemed to be humming a strange little tune. "Greetings my Tallest!"

"He doesn't _seem_ crushed," Purple whispered to his partner.

"Sssh!" Red hissed, before turning back to the screen. "What is it Zim?"

"I apologize for my absence. I've been very busy as of late. I have gained more information about this putrid planet then I have in a long time!" the invader smiled.

Red gave him a blank stare. "Such as….?"

Zim cleared his throat. "Well, for one thing, Earthlings only have pet-beasts so they can imprison them and make them their slaves. I suppose it makes them feel superior. _Silly humans."_

"Go on."

"Well, apparently Earth has already been terrorized once by this warrior named Victoria. She keeps the corpses of her victims in her shop, where she likes to sell her armor….for some reason…"

"Oooh!" Purple awed, actually getting a little interested.

Red rolled his eyes. "Anything else?"

Zim scratched the back of his head, trying to think of something that would impress his red Tallest. "Well….I went to a musical earlier today."

"Ok, whatever that is," Red huffed. "And….what did you learn from it?"

Zim nervously shifted his eyes back and forth. Finally he said, "Um…..how to make you two…popular?"

The Tallest were silent. Purple was the first one to speak. "What?"

"You know, popular!" Zim smiled sheepishly. "I'll help you two be popular! I'll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to….boys! Little ways to flirt and flounce! I'll you what shoes to wear, how to fix your….hair. Everything that really counts to be popular!" Zim recited nervously.

The Tallest stared at him with a blank look on their faces, their mouths hanging open.

Everything went silent for a minute, before Purple announced, "I like it!"

Red shook his head. "Zim….this is sad."

Zim's eyes fell as he hung his head in defeat. "I'm sorry, sir."

Red went on. "I mean, coming up with this pathetic data to cover up the fact that you don't have a partner, is really-"

"But I do!"

Red's eyes snapped open. "Wait, what?"

Zim's down look instantly turned back into a smile. "I have in fact, obtained a partner!"

Red could not believe what he was hearing. "WHAT?"

"I have obtained a partner!"

"WHAT?"

"I have obtained a partner!"

"WHAT?"

"I have obtained a partner!"

"WHAT?"

"I have obtained a-"

"SOMEBODY MAKE THIS STOP!" Purple interrupted the two.

Red growled as he turned back to the screen. This was not supposed to happen! He had been looking forward to finally getting rid of the little annoyance! Who in their right mind was crazy enough to help ZIM?

"Who?" Purple asked, as if reading his partner's mind.

"Her name is Gaz. And let me assure you, she is-"

"Woah, woah, woah! Wait a minute!" Red screeched. "Did you say _she_? You're partners with a _girl_?"

"Yes, but do not let her gender fool you," Zim assured his leaders. "She is everything you asked me to find in my partner. She's vicious, cold-hearted, clever, brave…tough….scary…smart… _pretty…_ " Zim was now no longer looking at his Tallest. He was now off in his own little dream land.

The Tallest exchanged a look before clearing their throats.

Zim instantly snapped out of his moment of fascination, a small blush covering his face. "A-Anyways my Lords, I will have the girl transported to you in a few days tops. I think you will be pleased to welcome her into the Irken academy!"

"B-But-" Red stammered.

"Invader Zim, over and out!" And then, he was gone.

The two Irken leaders stared at the screen, mouths wide open.

Purple once again broke the silence. "Did….Did Zim just hang up on _us_?"

"Can you believe that?" Red exclaimed before sharply turning around.

"I know! He didn't even give us the tips on how to be popular!" Purple stated.

"No! I mean, he _actually_ found someone who is willing to work beside him! Not only that, but she's a GIRL!" Red fumed.

"So?" Purple asked, joining his partner.

"'So?'" He quickly looked around to make sure the servants weren't listening. "You know how much I hate allowing _girls_ to join the army! Why do you think I left Tak trapped during the power outage? I knew she was there, but I wasn't going have anyone come rescue her, so she could come join _my_ army!"

Purple blinked. "Uh…..sexist much?"

"I only do what's best for our planet!" Red sneered. "We don't need a bunch of frilly little girls doing _man's_ work!"

Purple shook his head as his partner made his way to the computer. "Man, I feel like….if someone was….I don't know…somehow _reviewing_ the conversation we're having, they would have a few choice words to say about you." He turned his towards the typing Irken. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just setting up a new mission for Zim," Red said, snidely.

"Um….why? We don't care about Earth," Purple asked, joining him by his side.

"No, but we do care about getting rid of Zim and his little gal pal!" The smarter Irken said before a figure appeared on the screen.

" _My Tallest?"_

"Ah, Invader Van! It's been awhile!" Red smiled.

" _It certainly has. How may I be of assistance?"_

Red snickered. "You remember Zim, don't you Van?"

* * *

_Have you ever had a boring dream? Where you were doing absolutely nothing? Heck, have you ever dreamed about being asleep? Not often, huh? Well, neither had Gaz._

_Until this night._

_Usually, Gaz would dream about piggies or pizza, but tonight…..nothing. For the first time in the young girl's life, her dreams were peaceful. She was lying comfortably in a field of grass. I know, cliché right? In yet, Gaz didn't seem to mind._

_She was at peace._

_She liked the way the grass tickled her nose. She liked the feeling of the wind blowing through her hair. And she definetly liked the scent of pollen dancing around her. Who knew she had such a soft side?_

_She smiled as she felt a claw run through her violet locks. It appeared she was not alone. She didn't need to turn on her back to know who it was. And surprisingly, she was happy he was here._

" _It feels nice out here, huh?" Gaz whispered, enjoying the feeling of alien claws on her scalp. "Funny, if the world we live in was more like this…I'd actually play my Gameslave less."_

_She didn't get a response._

_Gaz released a soft sigh. "Zim, listen…..I'm not an emotional person…but you really hurt me the other day. It's not easy for me to make friends, mostly because I don't want any….but…I don't know what you did, but you made me….like you. That's not easy for me to say." She sighed again. "Look…I'm not going to beg, I don't do that…but could you_ _ please  _ _try to look over the fact that I'm a human? We have more in common than you think."_

_Still no response._

_Gaz rolled her eyes. "Zim, I'm pouring my heart out here. The least you can do is respond."_

_Nothing._

_Frowning, the girl finally turned on her back. "Zi-" Her eyes widened as she gasped._

_This was not Zim._

_Instead, beside her was one of those Vesen creatures that had attacked her not too long ago. Only this one had long white hair cascading down his shoulders._

_Gaz shrunk back. All of a sudden, her peaceful spot was becoming dark and cold. "Wha-?"_

" _How touching," the Vesen sneered before grabbing the small girl by her chin. "This Zim boy means a lot to you, doesn't he?"_

" _Let me go!" Gaz screeched, trying to unleash her inner rage. It didn't work._

" _No," he said roughly, clutching her small body close to his. "Soon, my child. Soon you and I shall finally meet! After so long! My men have failed to capture you once, but we shall not fail a second time, my Baby Gaz!"_

" _Shut up! You don't know me!" Gaz screamed, struggling to free herself._

" _On the contrary, I am practically your father! I have watched you for years! You are mine! You will come to me!"_

_Gaz felt herself begin to suffocate in the creature's grip. "No! Let me go! I mean it! NOOOOOOOO!"_

"GAZ-HUMAN!"

The small girl instantly snapped out of nightmare at the sound of a prissy voice invading her turmoil. "Wha.."

"Gaz-human!" Zim zoomed into the living room, a trail of smoke following behind him. "Gaz-human! Awaken at on- oh, you're already awake. GOOD! Get dressed immediately! We have work to do!"

Gaz lazily rubbed a small hand over her eye. "What time is it?"

"Now is not the time for caring!" Zim announced, climbing on top of the couch to sit beside her. "We have a mission from the Tallest!"

The girl frowned. Usually she would pummel anyone who dared awaken her before she was ready, but considering the fact that she was having a horrible nightmare at the time, she let it pass. "Tallest? Aren't those your leaders?"

"Indeed! I told them about you yesterday, and this morning they sent me an e-mail giving you your first mission!" Zim squeled, bouncing a bit on the couch.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "What? But I haven't even completed my training."

"That's okay, they say I am to accompany you, in case you need assistance. They say they want to test you and see if you are Irken material!" Zim explained.

The human nodded her head slowly and yawned. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I'll get to it…..right after I finish sleeping." With that, she plopped back down on the couch and pulled the blanket over her head.

Zim was quiet as he stared at his lazy partner. Did…did she just…? Zim shifted so he was looming over her. "Gaz-human, this is your very first mission! This is your chance to prove yourself to the Tallest! You must get started right away!" Seriously, how could she _not_ be bursting with excitement? He was, and this wasn't even _his_ mission!

"I will in a sec," she muttered.

"A second has just passed!" He began to shake her, muttering to himself. "Gaz-human! Off the couch, now!"

"No."

"Don't you want make a good first impression on the Tallest? Don't you want to show them that you are superior to your race? Don't you see? Now's the time to put your dark, creepiness to the test! Now you can use your powers for the better good of evil! You can rise! YOU CAN SHOW THEM ALL!"

Gaz didn't respond.

Zim fell down on his rump. "I'll take you out for pizza afterwards. My treat."

Gaz instantly threw off her covers, her clothes magically changed and her hair somehow already brushed. "All right, off we go!"

Zim took in her appearance. "How…how did you-"

"There's nothing I can't do for pizza," Gaz said simply. She jumped off the couch. "C'mon, can't keep the Tallest waiting, right?"

The green alien shrugged before following the small girl out the door.

* * *

Space. The final frontier. The unending void of darkness. The holder of many mysteries. Then hole of-

Holy cow, this was boring!

Gaz growled. It was true she had a fascination with the space, but there was currently NOTHING to be fascinated with! All she could do was count the starts. She quiet after six. Not only that, but Zim was currently playing the most obnoxious song on the Voot's radio. It seemed like her mission was see if she could survive extreme boredom.

"Zim! Will you turn that racket off?" Gaz lashed.

"No! It soothes me!" Zim informed her.

"How so?"

"…I don't know. The lyrics calm my soul."

Gaz rolled her eyes as she was forced to listen to God-awful song. She thought she had escaped this monstrosity when she turned seven.

" _Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata, ain't no passin craze!"_

"What's the mission again?"

"It's a distress call. One of our strongest invaders is trapped in space, and it's up to us to come to his aid."

"Well, if he's so strong, why does he need rescuing?" Gaz asked.

"Irk if I know. I'm not even quiet sure who it is we are supposed to be rescuing."

"Well, what did the tall guys tell you?"

"The _Tallest,"_ he stressed, "told me to find the Voot next to fifth moon of planet Vex, or 'Jupiter' as you humans call it."

Gaz looked out the window. 'I don't see any Jupiter."

"We should be getting close," Zim informed her.

"How close?"

"Pretty close."

"Are you guessing?"

"So what if I am?"

"I just think that maybe we should pull over and ask directions."

"Please human, I do not need to ask directions to find a _planet._ "

"I think you're lost."

"HA! I laugh at your female judgment!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Here's a better question, why didn't the Tallest do this themselves? If I'm correct, your 'mother board' ship can travel insanely fast if need be. Why don't _they_ go rescue this invader?"

"Because they are generous enough to give this mission to you as a test," Zim informed her.

Gaz huffed. "Yeah, sure."

The Irken frowned. "Well what's _that_ attitude for? You should be feeling grateful that they gave you this opportunity!"

The small girl growled. "Zim, I've got to be honest, I think those tall guys sent us out here to get lost."

Zim smiled. "That's another good test! Survival! Getting yourself out of a bin-"

"Zim, I think your 'oh-so-generous' leaders set us up!"

The Irken turned to her with wide eyes. "What? What do you mean?"

"I just get the feeling that they just sent us into space so we would lose our way, and never return," Gaz stated, saying it as if it was no big deal.

Zim however DID find it a big deal. "What….What are you IMPLYING?"

"The Tallest are scum."

The alien gasped in horror. "Don't even say such a thing, Little Gaz! The Tallest are the superiors of my race! They are full of generosity, wisdom, intelligence-"

"They're named after colors. They can't be _that_ great if they have such lame names," Gaz huffed.

Zim could not believe his antennas. How could Gaz not understand the magnificence of his leaders? "Gaz, how can you not adore them? They're so…..tall!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"SO? So….that means they're superior!" Zim tried to explain.

"Wait. So you think they're stronger, smarter, and pretty much _better_ than everybody else because they're _taller_ than everybody else?" Gaz screeched.

"You act as if the concept is ridiculous!" Zim frowned.

"It _is_ ridiculous!" Gaz said, raising her voice a bit. "Height has nothing to do with a person's worth, human _or_ Irken. I mean, look at us. I'm shorter than you, but I'm also a lot smarter."

Well _that_ seemed to get under the Irken's skin. "Stupid female! You are foolish if you think your intelligence can ever compare to mine!"

" _You're_ the one who takes orders from overgrown celery sticks!"

"Lalalalalalala! Can't hear you! Zim did not just hear you say that!" The Irken sang, covering up where his ears should be.

"Zim, knock it off! You can't believe everything these guys say! They can easily take advantage of you!" Gaz warned, not knowing that this had already occurred many times in the past. Gaz frowned and sat back in her seat. "I thought you were the kind of guy who would never take orders from others. I thought you saw _yourself_ as the supreme being of the universe."

"I _am_ the supreme being of the universe! I am second only to my Tallest!" Zim scowled at her.

Gaz huffed. "You don't know how disappointed I am to hear you say that."

"Why does it bug you so much?" Zim demanded to know.

"I don't know…..I just thought you were better than that," she said sadly.

A moment of silence passed between them before a scream erupted from the back of the Voot. "STOOOOOOPPP! I CAN'T STAND IT WHEN MOMMY AND DADDY FIGHT!"

Both sighed in unison. "And remind me again why we brought GIR?" Gaz asked.

"I don't trust him alone in the base," Zim answered.

Suddenly, the Voot lurched forward sharply, causing GIR to fly to the front of the ship. "Owie."

Gaz frowned and she looked around the controls. "What was that?"

Zim scratched the top of his head. "I don't know….I think something has latched onto the Voot, therefor intercepting our travel."

Gaz opened her eyes slightly. "Yeah…I think I hear something on the roof."

Zim quickly grabbed a space suit from under the control panel. He quickly scanned over the controls. "Hm…I can't see anything…." He said, referring to the screen showing the outside of the Voot. "Looks like I'm going to have to take a look," he said, slipping his suit on. "GIR! Come with me."

"Okie-dokie!" GIR smiled, grabbing some gum before heading towards his master.

Gaz frowned. "What about me?"

"There's only one suit, and neither of us can breath in space without the proper equipment. You'll have to stay here while we go check this out," the Irken informed her. "You can watch us from this monitor. We'll be back in a few minutes tops. It's probably just some asteroid trying to catch a ride."

"Whatever," Gaz muttered, before pulling out her Gameslave.

Zim shook his head. "C'mon GIR," he said, before quickly teleporting himself and the small robot to the top of the Voot.

As soon as Zim reached the top of the Voot, he did a quick scan of his surroundings. He couldn't _see_ anything. Odd, was his Voot malfunction a technical difficulty? He could have sworn something had latched onto the back of his ship.

"Hmm…I wonder where the disturbance is coming from," Zim pondered out loud.

"I'M DISTURBING!" GIR announced and began running around like the mad little creature he was.

"GIR! Keep still! We need to figure out the problem with the-"his words halted as he saw the little robot crash into what seemed like an invisible force.

Zim's eye widened.

GIR was now flat on his back, looking up to the sky. "HEY! WE'RE IN SPACE! YOU THINK WE'LL SEE ANY ALIENZ OUT HERE?"

That seemed to snap Zim out of his trance. "What the Irk?" he muttered. He marched over to where his SIR unit had fallen, and began feeling the air. It didn't take him long to find where the solid force that was being concealed. "How is-"

"Do you like it? I created it myself. It's a chip that allows my Voot to become invisible at will. Hmhm, I certainly hope it isn't _too_ much for you limited mind."

Zim's eyes widened at the sound of the incredibly droll voice behind him. His left eye began to twitch. "No…it can't be…"

"Oh, it certainly can be, my dear fellow."

Zim sharply turned around to find his worst fears confirmed. In front of his was an Irken that was a few feet taller than him. He wore a blue uniform with a long tail coat, completed with a golden rim air helmet. He had long antennas that were slicked back And if all that wasn't enough to tell you he was a snob, he bore a very heavy British accent.

"Hello, old friend," the Irken sneered.

Zim's bottom lip began to quiver. "I-Invader….Van?"

_Flashback:_

_100 years ago…._

" _No, PLEASE! Have mercy!" Zim begged before he was once again submerged in the dooky._

_The Irken comrades laughed maliciously as Van ignored the small Irken's plea. "Oh Zim, you're so adorably pathetic. I think it's time you went crying home to the Tallest!"_

_Zim gulped as he looked at the Irken Academy official bully. The pompous Irken was constantly plotting on how to make the smaller Irken's life miserable: wedgies, getting dunked in dooky, getting mugged, and not to mention endless taunts and acts of humiliation._

" _Why do you have to be so mean?" the young Irken-geek asked._

" _Because I am better than you in every sense of the word," Van smirked, tapping on the braces that lined Zim's teeth. "And really, it's just TOO easy."_

" _Well…one day I'M going to be ruler of the universe! And when that day comes, it'll be I who dunks YOU into unidentified substances!" Zim whined._

_Van chuckled, along with the rest of his peers. "Of course, SURE you will Zim…..but until then..." He laughed out loud and he grabbed Zim by his underpants and pulled it over his head._

" _AHHHHHHH! HELP! I'VE BEEN BLINDED!"_

" _AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

_End flashback_

"Uh, Zim? Helloooo? You know it's awfully rude to have a flashback in the middle of a conversation!"

Zim shook his head, forcing himself to come back to reality. Good thing too, because the next part of the flashback was terribly sad. "What are you doing here? Why are you here?"

"My Zim, I see you finally lost the braces!" Van smirked. "In yet, you're still incredibly short. How sad." He mock pouted.

"Were you the distressed Irken the Tallest asked us to find?" Zim asked, fighting to stay out of the feetle position from the reminder of his childhood.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am," Van drawled, taking a step closer towards the Irken. "However, as you can plainly see, the only one distressed here is _you._ "

Zim took a step backwards. "You mean you lied to our Tallest?"

"'Lied'?" he chuckled. "More like, _teamed up_ with them!"

"What?"

"Zim, you're so adorably naïve!" he said, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. "Can't you see the Tallest sent me here to eradicate you? You've been set up! They knew how I was your tormentor during most of your childhood, and they sent me here, as well as a fake SOS, to get me to eliminate you and your new partner."

Zim gasped. "LIES! YOU SPOUT A STRING OF UNTRUTHFULLNESS WITH YOUR DISGUSTING MOUTH!"

Van shook his head. "I see you still do the whole screaming thing…"

"I should report you to our leaders for telling such fibs about them!" Zim glared at the other Irken. "They won't appreciate-"

"Zim, if I'm lying, how do I know that you have acquired a partner?"

Zim bit his lower lip, unsure of how to respond to that. How ironic it was that his small partner had told him her negative opinion of his leaders not long before this moment. Was everyone trying to turn him against his beloved leaders today? They had been nothing but kind to him since the first day he was created! Sure they had dismissed him more times than once….sure they made a bad habit of ignoring him and his brilliant ideas….but…well….

No.

No!

Zim would never stray away from the word of his Tallest! His whole life depended on them! He didn't care what was right on front of his face! His leaders had his eternal loyalty!

"I don't care what you try to force into my mind, you are nothing more but an insect who is so jealous of my amazingness that you made up a false story to get me to ruin my awesome relationship with the Tallest! So let me ask you, who is the sad one now, huh? Who I ask you? WHO? I'll give you a hint. IT'S YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Van barely blinked. "Sure Zim, whatever makes life easier on you. Can we just skip to the part where I destroy you?"

Zim smirked, feeling awfully superior at the moment. "You know what? My partner and I are awfully busy at the moment, so I think I'll let you off with a warning. I see no reason to fight you. Anything we do at this point will just make you look like an even bigger fool. So be gone with you." He said, waving a hand in dismissal.

Van was about to give a sharp retort, but instead simply smiled at the invader in front of him. "You're right," he smiled. "I have no business being here. I need to be on my way."

"Exactly," Zim smirked, getting ready to leave.

"We should just let the past be the past, right?" Van continued.

"For the time being," Zim nodded.

"I see….by the way Zim…do you remember that donut you had during your second year at the Irken Academy?"

Zim halted and turned back around to face his foe.

Van gave a wicked smirk. "You were right….it _did_ look good on the mantle!"

Zim's mouth dropped open. "T-THAT WAS YOOOOOOU?" Zim released his metal spider legs. "PREPARE TO DIEEEEE!"

Van extracted his own legs. "Jolly good then." Smiling wickedly, he charged at the smaller Irken, intending to knock him off the ship. However, Zim merely extended his legs so he was out of reach. The invader then took one of his legs and slashed it against Van's right cheek.

Van growled before extending himself headfirst into Zim's squeedly-spooch, effectively knocking the air out of him. Holding his torso in pain, Zim fell down from his perch and crashed onto the "ground." He was about to get back up before something hard crashed down onto his chest. He struggled to lift his head so he could get a good look at the offensive piece of metal. His eyes widened.

"HI Matah!" a certain robot squealed.

"GIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

GIR'S eyes turned crimson red. "SIR! I am simply assisting the fight!"

"Yeah, assisting Van! GIR, you should be throwing your metal butt at HIM!"

GIR's eyes instantly turned back to a bright blue. "Okey-dokie!" Turning towards his master's opponent, the small robot glared. "For the Irken Empire, and for the POWER PUFF GIRLS!" he cried, throwing his little self at the opponent.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_Thwack!_

"OH NOOOOOOOOO!"

Zim gasped as he felt his SIR unit crash back onto his chest, causing him to wheeze in pain. Grumbling to himself, the Irken pulled the idiotic bot off him. "Why can't you ever *cough* go commando when I need you to?"

"Oh…I wonder where I go when that happens…"

"Never mind! Get back in the ship! I'll handle this myself," Zim said, turning back to glare at his opponent.

"Okay! I'll go get Gazzy!" the bot squeaked.

"No!" Zim ordered without thinking. "Keep her out of this GIR!" Had Zim thought more carefully, he would've realized that Gaz could probably handle herself in this situation, at least teamed up with him. But after the painful blow he had received not too long ago….no, he wasn't dragging her into this. He…he didn't even want this jerk _looking_ at her….for some reason.

"Oh no! Go get the little partner my Tallest spoke of!" Van chuckled. "I was hoping to fight him to….or should I say 'she'? Ha, didn't see that coming. Well, bring her out here so I can show her the wrath of an Irken!"

Zim glared at his opponent. "Shut it." he hissed.

Van's playful smirk instantly disappeared. "Bring her out here Zim. Bring her here so I may cut her up like I'm about to do to you!"

In another instant, Zim was on top of the Irken clawing at his face. He was sick of playing games, this freak had to go _now._

Growling, Van tossed Zim away with his legs. He pulled out his lasers and began to take aim at our protagonist. Luckily, Zim managed to dodge most of his attacks, keeping a determined look in his face the whole time.

Van was getting frustrated as he clenched his teeth. "Hold still you little pimp!"

Zim did, only to block off his next attack with one of his metal legs. "You will not bring harm onto my partner."

Van raised a non-existent eyebrow. "You sure are upset about that little threat I made towards her…what's up with that?"

Zim merely frowned and pulled out his own laser from his PAK. Both Irkens were now staring each other down, both standing on their own two feet.

Van chuckled softly. "Why Zim….is this love?"

Zim clenched his teeth. "Fool! What I feel for you is the opposite of-"

"Not me! The girl! I believe you are, how do your humans say it, in love with her!"

The smaller Irken sneered. "Shut it!"

"I didn't hear a no!" the stuck-up Irken sang.

"I do not-she's not-why do you care? Why have you hated me for so long? Why did you torture me all those years? WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO MY DONUT?" Zim demanded.

Van shrugged. "I'm a jerk that way."

"No! You are nothing more than a nuisance! You put on an act to make everyone think you're refined when you're truly nothing but a sham! I always told you I would be you superior one day, well now I'm going to prove it! You can do what you want me with me, but you struck my SIR unit and threatened my partner!" His laser began to glow. "NOW I'm going to make you dead."

Van's own laser began to glow. "Well, don't keep me waiting, Nerd."

Meanwhile, GIR had finally found his way back inside the ship. Gaz hadn't left her spot. Her eyes were fixed on her Gameslave screen as she heard the small robot enter. "Hey."

"Hi there!" GIR said.

"Where's Zim?" she asked.

"He said not to bring you in!" the bot informed.

Gaz actually looked up from her screen at this. "Um...bring me in what?"

"He said leave you out of Van….or…wait a minute…" GIR fumbled, trying to remember his master's exact words.

Gaz put her game away. "Wait, what van? Are you saying a van latched onto the ship?"

**BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!**

" _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That….that was a cheap shot!"_

The human girl's eyes widened at the sound of the ruckus on top of the Voot. "What's going on up there?" She looked down at the idiotic robot. "GIR?"

GIR instantly went into commander mode. "Ma'am, my Master doesn't want you involved. He wanted me to keep you out of his battle with the Irken thug."

"What? Battle? Irken thug? Keep me out? He wanted? Out of the battle? _Ma'am?_ " The small girl ran over to the screen that showed the outside of the Voot. Sure enough, her alien partner was locked in battle with a taller looking Irken. They both had scratches and burn marks decorating their skin, but Zim seemed to be the worse for wear.

"Aw no," Gaz breathed, actual concern clutching at her insides. She had to do something. She couldn't go out there without dying from the lack of air, but maybe….

"GIR, I have an idea! I need you give a message to your master…."

Back on the Voot's roof, Zim was starting to have a hard time standing up. He was giving all he had, but the other Irken was given more advanced technology than he was, not to mention he was taller and more composed.

But he wouldn't give up.

Invader Zim never gave up!

He once again charged at the taller Irken (he had run out of ammo for his laser), but was quickly intercepted by Van's metal legs. Chuckling, he scratched Zim straight in the eye, taking pleasure as he hissed in pain. He then grabbed the small Irken and threw him across the ship.

Zim hacked as he tried to sit back up…only to be slammed back down by Van's boot. Said Irken gave Zim a cruel smile. "What was that you were saying Zim? Did you say you were going to 'conquer' me? Well, how is that working for you?" He moved his boot to the Irken's throat.

Zim was about to retort when a certain robot teleporting back onto the battle ground stole his attention. "What the-"

"Hi Mastah!"

"GIR *hack* what are you doing?"

"Gazzy said to hold on!"

"What?' both Irkens said in unison.

As if to answer their question, the ship suddenly lurched to the left, causing them to tumble, and Van to release Zim.

"What the poppy?" Van screeched.

Zim unsteadily climbed to his feet. "What the Irk is she doing?"

"WHEEEEEEEEE!" GIR squealed in delight. "Do it again!"

As if by the robot's request, the Voot suddenly lurched to the right. Zim, remembering GIR's warning, latched onto the roof with his spider leg, watching as his enemy tumbled over to the right of the ship. Apparently, he hadn't payed any heed to the SIR unit's warning.

Van struggled to get back on his feet. He glared at the Irken, who was hanging on to the ship by his PAK. "You heathen! I will eliminate you! Do not think a rocky battleground will stop me!"

"What I want to know is how the heck this Voot got big enough to _have_ a battle!" Zim genuinely questioned.

Before Van could offer a situation, the ship suddenly tilted back to the left, actually causing Van to stumble off the side of the ship. **(AN: Oh…so many science flaws…)** Van growled up at the Irken who was still hanging for dear life. Van glared at the front of the ship. He knew how to handle this.

With much difficulty due to the constant sharp turns and tilts, Van threw himself onto the window of the Voot, coming face -to -face with the female who was causing him trouble. He was surprised to see how ugly she was. Shaking his head, he gently knocked on the glass.

Gaz looked up from the controls with an unsurprised look. "Why hello there," she said.

Van's glare slowly turned into an evil smile. "I'm sorry dear, I'm afraid I didn't hear that," he said honestly, "allow me to make it a little easier for us to talk." That being said, the blue-clad Irken took one of his metal legs and smashed the window to the Voot.

The effects were immediate. Gaz's eyes widened as she desperately grabbed at her throat, struggling to breath. She began panting heavily as she collapsed onto the ground.

Van released an evil cackle as he made his way back to Zim. _Now that I am free of any distractions, I can finally put that little worm in his place._ As soon as he reached the top of the Voot, he announced, "All right Zim…I am ready to cut your-"

_SMASH!_

Well, it seems karma decided to strike our poor Van today. For as soon as he had reached the top of the ship, Zim had zapped the air helmet right off of his opponent.

Van's eyes widened as he began to lose oxygen. He began to cough and hack as he looked at the small Irken with wide eyes. "You little-"

"AM NOT!" Zim screeched before pushing his opponent off his ship, and then watching as his lifeless body floated off into space. Van was no more.

GIR came up to his master. "That was…dark."

Zim shrugged. "We've actually done worse. Let's just be thankful I actually got away with killing someone off for once!"

"Huh?"

"C'mon, let's get to Gaz!" Zim changed the subject.

"OK!" GIR smiled. "Let's go through the window!"

Zim frowned. "Window?" Furrowing his brow in confusion, Zim ran up to the front of the Voot and looked down. His eyes widened. Sure enough, there was as gaping hole in the front of the ship. There was no air inside the Voot…

Zim began to breath heavily. "GAZ-HUMAN! NO!" Without thinking, the small invader quickly climbed down into the Voot. His eyes extended in horror as he saw the small human girl, lying on the floor and blue in the face.

Zim began to sweat as he rushed by the girl's side. He didn't know what was happening to him. He was afraid. He was panicking. Sure he had felt these things before, but never for somebody else other than himself.

GIR soon joined his master's side. "Mastah, what is happening to Gazzy? Is she sleeping?"

Zim ignored the bot as he nervously pulled out a tube from the wall's emergency-kit. Taking one end, he plugged it into the side of his helmet, while putting a breathing mask on the other end. With trembling fingers, Zim placed the mask over the girl's mouth while holding her head. He anxiousness only grew as the girl remained unresponsive.

"Dib-sister…..wake up….I…I COMMAND IT! You will not die! The almighty Zim will not allow it!" Zim screeched, his voice betraying his real emotions.

"…Gazzy?" GIR whimpered, actually understanding the situation before him, now that he saw his master's distraught features.

Zim began to breath heavily. The human girl….she was….leaving him? No…she couldn't! Surprisingly, Zim wasn't thinking about what would happen to him if the Tallest found out…all he could think about were the crazy adventures he had shared with this girl for the past few days. The battle with Gor, saving GIR from the pound, their trip to the mall, the battle with the Vesen, their enjoyment of the Wicked play….they…they were fun.

He had fun.

In fact, it was the most fun he had…in quiet a long time.

He liked spending time with the human girl.

He liked her company.

He liked _her._

"Gaz…" Zim pleaded, his voice cracking. "You…you cannot leave….you are the only friend I have. Do not make Zim….do not make me lose you…"

GIR's eyes filled with tears at his master's words. "Such a better love story than Twilight…."

Zim paid no heed to his silly bot. The only thing that existed right now was his partner….his _friend._

* * *

Inhale…

Exhale…

Inhale…

Exhale…

Oh, how she would never take breathing for granted again.

Inhale…

Exhale…

She had forgotten how much air smelled liked pizza.

Inhale…

Ex-

Wait a minute.

"I think she's coming to!"

Gaz's eyes fluttered open at the sound of a familiar voice. The first thing she was saw was Zim leaning over her, concern in his eyes, and pizza in his hand. "Zim?" she whispered, once she found her voice.

"Are you all right?" Zim asked, helping her sit up.

"I think so….are you going to eat that?"

Zim smiled before handing her the greasy substance. He knew using her favorite food would get this girl breathing again.

Gaz took a bite out of her pizza before saying, "What happened?"

"Van damaged the ship, causing it to lose the air you required," Zim informed her. "I shared my air with you until we got back to the base. You've been out for four of your Earth hours."

Gaz stretched. "Van…so that was his name….where is he now?"

Zim shrugged. "I killed him."

"You got away with that?"

"Somehow I did!"

Gaz checked her surroundings, never having felt so glad to be back in the base. "So…the mission?"

Zim bit his lower lip before answering her. "….Van tricked the Tallest. He sent out a fake SOS."

The Earth girl had her doubts, but she decided not to pester him about it. She looked down at the small table in front of her and smiled. "You got me some pizza?"

"I promised I would, didn't I?"

Gaz shrugged before taking another slice. "Well…thanks."

Zim gave her a sly smile. "For the pizza or for saving your life?"

"Pizza _is_ my life," Gaz chuckled. She turned her head towards him. "So…you really let him have it, huh?"

Zim's smile grew. "Of course I did! Although your tactics sure helped turn the tables, Gaz."

The small girl instantly began to choke on her pizza. She hacked as the small Irken began to pound her on the back. After she regained her breath, she said, "W-What?"

"What?" the Irken asked, confusion written all over his face.

"Did you just call me 'Gaz?"

Zim nodded slowly. "Yeeeeees…..that is your name, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but you've never called that before! It's always 'Gaz-human', or 'Earth girl', or 'Dib-sister'!"

Zim pondered this for a minute before hopping off the couch. "I dunno…I think I'm done reminding you what race you are."

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Okay…who are you and what have you done with the real Zim?"

The small Irken smirked before turning around to face her. "I no longer wish to call you by your race…..because it no longer bothers me."

Gaz opened her eyes slightly, but surprise was evident in them. "Really?"

Zim smiled and shrugged. "Hey, I chose you for a reason right? You are not like your race….after all, I would not befriend just any old human, now would I?"

This time, Gaz didn't try to hide the surprise on her face. Had….had she heard that correctly? Did he…. "Zim, are you aware of what you just said?"

"You are unpleased?"

"No, it's just…" she fumbled with her words as she joined him on the ground. "You mean it?" she said, trying to hide the subtle feelings of excitement fluttering in her stomach.

Zim gave a small laugh before extending his hand. "Friends?"

Gaz stared at his hand for a minute before turning her gaze to his ruby eyes. This was the first time she had ever been asked that question. A slow smile creeping across her face, the small girl grasped his hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Friends."


	12. Dib Is Not Pleased

"Okay, who was the very first Tallest to ever take control?"

"Um….don't tell me….hold on…"

"Need a hint?"

"No… I got this….wasn't it….Invader White?"

"CORRECT! Well done! You're knowledge of the Irken Empire has increased by-"

"Yeah, whatever. Give me pizza cookie. NOW!"

Zim sighed as he reached into a bag to give the girl the horribly unhealthy treat. He would never understand how the girl could eat so much and still remain so thin. It was a secret of hers that he planned to unravel as soon as possible, She claimed it had something to do with her "metabolism", but Zim wasn't buying it. Mostly because he had no idea what that was.

Nevertheless, they helped motivate the girl into getting into her studies, so for now, Zim would have to endure the putrid smelling things.

Gaz couldn't help but smile smugly as she munched on her treat. "I'm really getting good at this. I got 758,670,231,690 out of 800,000,000,000!"

Zim nodded proudly. "Yes, it shan't be long now! Soon you shall be ready to present yourself to the Tallest, so that they can-"

"So they can try to kill me again?" Gaz couldn't help but sneer. She still had her suspicions with Zim's rulers. She knew that no matter what planet you were on, superiors were always trying to manipulate you. She recalled how seeing a photo of the Tallest was enough to make her skin crawl. And her skin didn't crawl easily. Yeah, there was definitely something wrong with those guys.

Unfortunately, Zim was still not convinced. "Gaz, are you still on that? You're being ridiculous. Why would the Tallest want you gone?"

"I don't know Zim, you tell me. All I know is that I don't trust those guys," she told him.

"Well, I trust them and you trust me! So can I trust you to trust them?" Zim insisted.

While the two bickered over the powerful leaders, GIR made notice to check on them from time to time while watching his TV show: _Wonderfulville._

_A man wearing a strange suit walked into the house smiling widely. "Sugar, I'm home!"_

"Gaz, they are part of my home! Why would they want to hurt me?"

_A beautiful woman who was doing the dishes came over beside him. "Hello Dear! How was your day?"_

"HELLO Zim! From what you've told me, they seem to mock you every day!"

_"I had a great day! My boss was amazing!"_

"I have a great reputation back on Irk! My Tallest are amazing!"

GIR blinked before turning back to his show.

_The woman squealed. "Did you get your promotion?"_

"Did they praise you for your past accomplishments?"

_"Not yet! But I'm sure I'll get it soon!"_

"Sure they did….well, they implied it!"

_A little boy ran up to his father. "Dad! Dad! You're home!"_

_The father smiled a cheesy smile and embraced the small boy. "Hello boy! What have you been doing today?"_

"GIR!" Zim snapped, turning his attention to the small bot. "What are you doing? Will you turn that down? Can't you see I'm arguing with the human?"

GIR didn't respond.

Zim frowned at the lack of response. "GIR! Do you hear me? Obey your master!"

_"I hope you had a good day son! It's important to obey your father!"_

_"_ GIR! Answer your master!"

_"Your father!"_

Gaz rolled her eyes. "GIR, just answer your stupid master."

_"Son, it's important to listen to your stupid father!"_

Now Zim was really ticked. "GIR! I AM YOUR MASTER!"

_"Your faaaaatthhhheeerrrr…"_

_Zzzzzzzttt!_

Something clicked inside the little robot. Something that was not about to be undone anytime soon.

By now, Gaz was getting real tired of her friend's screaming, so she got up and turned off the television. "Zim, I think he gets you're his master."

"B-But he was ignoring me!" Zim complained. "He's the one who started this!"

"I don't really care who started it," Gaz told him. "I just want peace and quiet so I can focus on the-"

"Daddy."

Both Zim and Gaz's head snapped in the direction of the little robot. They tilted their heads to the side in unison. "What was that horrible sound he just made?" Zim asked, never blinking for a second.

GIR slowly turned his head to face the green alien. A little drool fell from the corner of his mouth. "Daaaaaddddyyyyy…."

Zim shrieked before moving away from the seemingly possessed robot. "W-What did you just call me?"

GIR stood up and reached his arms out for the green alien. "Daaaaddddyyyy…"

Zim continued to scamper away. "GIR! What are you talking about? I'm not your parental unit! I am your master!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Wow, I knew TV was bad for you, but I didn't know it was _this_ bad."

"Daddy!" GIR squealed before pouncing on the green alien. "Daddy, can we go to the moooooon?"

Zim's PAK was now pressed against the door. "Begone! I don't believe in you!"

Gaz shook her head. "GIR, you're making your master scream like a girl. Knock it off!"

GIR turned his stupid grin over to the purple haired girl. "Mommy! Let's go get food!"

The small girl opened her eyes a smidge and shuddered. "Uh, no GIR. No, no. I never want to hear those words come from your mouth agai-egh!" The human's muscles tightened as the small bot wrapped his little arms around her body.

ZIm frowned. "GIR! Release the female!"

Gaz shrugged. "I've actually been through worse. This guy kissed me once."

Zim blinked. "Repeat?"

GIR smiled. "Mommy, I want a brother!"

The small girl instantly shoved him off. "Okay, Daddy and I need to go to skool. You go ahead and play with Mr. Piggy."

"Iz Daddy gonna bring home da bacon?" GIR asked.

"I'm allergic to bacon!" Zim protested.

Gaz shook her head. " _I'll_ bring the bacon. You go play."

"Nyeeeeeh!" GIR smiled, skipping away. "I love you, Mommy and Daddy!"

Zim glared at his friend. "We are _not_ bringing home bacon!"

Gaz quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door.

* * *

"Okay….I think we took a complex enough path where he can't follow us. Did you zig zag like I told you to?"

Gaz shrugged. "I went around a bush once."

Zim sighed as he and his friend made their way through the maze of lockers. "What has gotten into that child? When have I ever displayed father-like emotions towards him?"

Gaz repeated her shrug. "You neglect him, you berate him, you treat him like dirt…sounds like the everyday father to me."

Zim groaned as he watched the small girl work the lock on her locker. "This could turn into a serious issue."

"'Issue'?" Gaz parroted without looking at him.

"If GIR thinks I'm his parental-unit, his affections for me will sky rocket and he won't leave me alone!"

Gaz couldn't hide her smirk. "So…basically he'll be the same except he'll try to kiss you?"

"Precisely!" Zim shuddered.

Gaz finally opened her door and grabbed the books she needed to make a pillow. "Chill, will you? You think I'm pleased with GIR calling me 'mommy'? No girl my age wants to be called that. But I'm not going to worry about it. This is just another one of GIR's crazy glitches. It'll wear off in time."

She had a point. "You think so?"

"Hey!"

Zim and Gaz both paused at the voice. Both took a deep breath, trying hard not to cry.

"What are you guys talking about?" Dib growled, running up beside the duo. "What are you doing" What are you planning? Why do it on a weekday?"

Zim smirked at his frantic questions. "Gaz and I are parents."

Dib's mouth instantly dropped to the ground. "WHAT?"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Great. Now am I going to be part of your constant interrogation?"

Dib rapidly shook his head. "No! No, no! You don't just say that and change the subject!"

Zim quickly got tired of this joke and said, "Relax. It's just GIR. Can you go now?"

Dib glared. "NO!" He aimed his glare at his sister. "Gaz, I don't want us to be enemies, but you're leaving me with no choice! My weapon is just about ready. If you don't come back to the sensible side, I'll have no choice but to use it on you!"

Gaz grimaced and turned to Zim. "You put up with this every day?"

Zim nodded sadly. "He had a megaphone once."

Dib groaned. "Gaz, you're better than this! I don't want to hurt you!" he pleaded with her.

Gaz shrugged. "You won't. You've failed to barely lay a finger on Zim, and you've been trying for years. What makes you think you can hurt _me?_ "

Zim gave a sly smile. "Personally, I can't imagine him laying a finger on you. Taking the life of his own species? Sounds a bit….backwards, do you agree?"

"Don't refer to me in 3rd persons point of view when I'm standing night here!" Dib snarled.

"Then let me not refer to you at all!" Gaz stated, trying to move past her brother.

However, Dib was having none of it.

He grabbed his little sister by the arm and said, "Gaz, no! So help me, I will fix you! I won't let you do this! I won't let you embarrass Mom!"

Gaz's breath hitched at her brother's cold words. Instantly, images of her mother appeared in her mind. Her mother…her friend…..embarrassing her? Was she embarrassing her?

Zim noticed his friend's unsettled expression. He raised a nonexistent eyebrow at this. What was the deal with the mother-unit? Did Gaz even _have_ a mother-unit? He had never seen her father-unit, but he knew of his existence from the Dib-human's bragging. Hmmm….odd.

Gaz took a deep breath. "…Let me go."

Dib shook his head. "No, not until you wash your hands lean of the alien!"

Gaz tried to pull he arm back. "I said let me go!"

Dib only tightened his hold. "Gaz, I'm not playing with you! Stop acting like a baby!"

Zim frowned at the situation in front of him. He did not appreciate the way the Dib-stink was manhandling his sister. It reminded him too much of how the Vesen treated her. "She said to leave her alone," he warned the human.

"Stay out of this Zim! You're the one who brainwashed her!"

Zim prepared his PAK. "Listen human, I will-"

The alien was interrupted as the small girl bit Dib in the arm.

"AAJFGJLGJFFLJF!" Dib garbled as he released his sister.

Zim slowly nodded in approval and stood up straight. "Well done, Gaz."

Gaz shuddered as she watched her brother tend to his wound. "We were _this_ close to making that a cliché, sexist plot."

Zim cocked his head to the side. "But I've already saved you on-"

"THIS close!"

Dib finally snapped out of his stupor and glared at his sister. "Gaz, why won't you listen to me? You know what he's done in the past! Why can't you go back to being indifferent?"

 _Oh, NOW you want me to be indifferent?_ Gaz couldn't help but sneer in her mind. Quickly turning to her brother, she finally said, "He's my friend, Dib. The only one I've got."

Dib paused. His eyes shifted back and forth between sister and alien. His eyes twitched. He drooled a little. "What?"

Zim smirked and marched over towards the human. "The human girl and I have entered a 'friendship' relationship, and we do much things that 'friends' do."

Dib glared at his enemy. "You popped the eyeballs out of the last friend you had!"

"How could you know that?" Zim asked. "You were barely in that episode!"

Dib paused for a minute before saying, "Don't ever try to put logic in our universe again!"

Zim rolled his fake eyes. "Well it doesn't matter. I'm not positive your sister _has_ eyes half the time!"

Gaz frowned, but decided to ignore the last comment. "Where was I during this eye-popping adventure?"

Zim shrugged. "Where are you usually when I commit an evil deed?" he asked, honestly wanting to know.

Finally, Dib snapped. "Okay! That's enough! Gaz, please don't do this!"

Gaz frowned at her brother before turning around. "It's already been done, Dib," she said epic-ly. She then made her way to her classroom, leaving Dib in a stump.

The boy couldn't believe his eyes. Or his sister. Or his life. How could things have gone so terribly wrong? How did his sister go from a useless side character to being evil buddies with the Zim….of evil? How could-

"Yeeeeeeehhh!" Dib squeaked, feeling intense pain in his back area. He turned his head to see the slimy alien had his underpants in a death hold. The little booger just gave him a wedgie!

Dib grumbled and pulled himself together. "I swear Zim, if some unknown powerful force ever gives me the opportunity to destroy you, you better bet your vegetable rear I will take it!" he fumed, making his way towards class.

Zim scoffed at his words. "So…nothing's changed?"

"You will die, Zim! And not a single a tear shall be shed for you!"

* * *

"All right class," Ms. Bitters announced, "Today I made the mistake of looking at myself in the mirror, so I had no time to plan our lesson. I will now pick something of random from this book to choose from." She flipped through the book until she landed on a page. She looked down at it. "No." She flipped again. "No."

While Ms. Bitters 'randomly' flipped through her book, Dib was glaring hatefully at his enemy, who was tinkering away at another one of his devices. God, this creature was horrid. It was bad enough that he was trying to take his planet, but now he was dragging his sister into it. He always wanted his sister to join the war, but not like this. They were supposed to be standing side by side in this.

He wasn't stupid. He knew what happened. He had hurt his sister with his words before. He practically disowned her from siblinghood, and didn't even notice when she moved out. Yeah, imagine his horror when he checked the house and realized his sister's toothbrush and shampoo was gone. He had driven his baby sister to this. He had failed his mother. He caused his sister to seek comfort In the enemy.

Yes, he knew why his sister left. The question was, what did Zim want from his sister? Did he have a plan to use his sister against him? "What is he planning? Why does he need Gaz? He'd better not be planning on placing her in some sort of…showgirl choir, or something!"

His eyes widened as the small alien turned his head towards his enemy. "I'm planning on completing my homework, I need Gaz for her companionship…and what's a show-girl choir?"

Dib bit his lower lip. How much had he said out loud? He hadn't meant for the alien to hear his inner monologue…..then again, when _didn't_ people wind up listening to his inner thoughts?

"ENOUGH!" Ms. Bitters announced. "According to my randomization, we're going to talk about friendship and companionship! I am sure there is nothing convenient or coincidental about this whatsoever."

"Oh no, Ms. Bitters!" Dib cried out. He quickly stood up on top of his desk.

"Oh no," a random kid whined. "Not another Dib moment, am I right Zita?"

Zita only shuddered and rubbed her arms. "B-Big…b-b-b-b-ig monsters…"

Random kid shook his head. "You've been acting really weird lately. Almost as bad as Dib."

"This is a very important lesson!" Dib continued. _"Disney_ has lied to us!"

The classroom gasped.

"Dib!" Ms. Bitters sneered. "You're rants have always hurt us physically, but that's taking it too far!"

Dib chose to ignore her. "Friendship doesn't just happen! There are complications! Therea re issues that forbid two people from starting any form of a relationship! Take this from someone who has never had a friend in his life! It's not easy!"

"What are you talking about?" a kid groaned. "Get down from there!"

Dib, once again, chose to ignore his peers. "Take for example…would you befriend an alien?"

Ms. Bitters winced. "Sweet mercy, where's my pistol?"

"I'm just saying!" the boy continued. "Don't you agree that human and people of _other_ species should never be friends? It's not natural! There are differences that forbid such relationships from happening! It's unnatural! It's horrid!"

For a second, the class began to murmer to one another. Dib smiled as they seemed to consider what he was saying. He didn't know what he was hoping to accomplish by getting them on his side…it would just feel nice for once, he supposed.

He looked over at his rival to find an unimpressed alien sitting in his seat. "Really? This is what you're coming at me with?" He paused for a minute before clearing his throat. "RASCIST! THIS MAN IS RASCIST!"

The class instantly stopped their murmering and gasped in horror.

"You monster!"

"Who do you think you are?"

"The devil will claim you soul!"

Dib squirmed as sweat began to drip down his face. "No! I'm not rascist! I'm a species-ist!"

Zim turned on his crocodile tears. "Why Dib?" he pretended to wail. "Why can't we be friends? The color of your skin doesn't matter to me! Just as long as we can live in harmony!"

The class began to sniffle and sob.

"That was…beautiful!" a child from Texas cried.

"Wha-? W-Wha-? H-He's quoting a _War_ song!" Dib stuttered.

"Why should we listen to the racist?" some girl shouted.

"Racists are stupid!" random kid shouted. "Right Zita?"

"T-T-They were….huge…"

Dib growled. "I don't care about his race! It's his species I can't stand!"

Zim leaned back casually in his chair. "And what makes you think I'm from another species?"

"Well, for one think you're green."

"So you say I'm an alien because I'm now a white boy?" he broke out into more fake tears. "When will the hate end?"

"Dib, no one will ever love you!" a classmate sobbed.

Dib took a deep breath. "You know…I'm starting to detect a pattern with this class."

"DIB!" Ms. Bitters screeched. "I have no soul, and even I found your outburst cruel! For your despicable behavior, I sentence you to Hell!"

"WHAT?" Dib shouted.

"That's right! To the cheerleading tryouts, NOW!"

Dib groaned as he made his way out of the classroom, glaring at Zim's snickering form the entire way.

_This isn't over, Zim….not even close._


	13. A Touching Moment

Night had once again fallen in whatever-town, and everyone was fast asleep. Well, the adults were. Lord knows were the kids were. However, one particular kid was fed up with a certain metallic being.

"GIR! Do I like Rosie Jetson to you? I am _not_ your mother!" a certain purple-haired girl growled as she stormed out of the house.

"Does that mean I'm adopted?" GIR asked. Unfortunately the poor little bot hadn't broken out of his 'family' illusion and was now striving for his master and mistresses' attention. Even more unfortunately, it was getting on his 'parents' nerves.

"No, you're manufactured!" Gaz shouted, making her way down the street. "I'm taking a break."

"Bring me back a hot pocket!" the small bot shouted.

"Oh, I'll make _your_ pocket hot!" she growled, making her way towards the park. She didn't think the little bot's sudden crave for a family would bug her so much…but there was something about being a parent with Zim that utterly disturbed her. Not to mention 'mommy' was not a title she would like to bestow on herself.

After some time, she finally found herself in the middle of the park. She took a deep breath at the sight of the serenity around her. She really needed to start taking the time to gaze at her surroundings…nah. That would make it look like she was getting soft. Still…it was actually…nice out…when there were no humans to pollute the area.

She sat down and took a look at the stars above her. Her fascination with space was taking over her cold heart once again. She breathed steadily and curled her legs into a ball. Her imagination was beginning to sky rocket. She didn't know what the deal was with the clear sky nights lately, but she wasn't complaining. She began to wonder what Zim's life before Earth was like. Maybe now that she was closer to him, she would ask him.

She wondered what it felt like to be an alien. She looked down at her fingers. To have three fingers like Zim…what must that feel like? Is it hard for them to hold things? And to have your life in the form of a shell on your back…She gently touched her own back. Gosh, was it painful..? Was it heavy?

"There you are!"

Gaz sharply turned her head to find the visitor of Earth fuming at her small form. She struggled to contain her laughter. His anger was really starting to come off as amusing.

"How dare you leave me with that family-obsessed robot!" the small alien growled.

Gaz smirked and leaned back on her arms. "You know the saying 'survival of the fittest'?"

Zim gave her a blank stare. "No."

Gaz instantly deflated at his words. "Well, now you do, _invader._ "

Zim brushed off her words and instead began to grumble to himself. "'This will wear off in time'," Zim quoted, trying to make his voice sound like hers. "Yeah, sure…"

"I hope that wasn't me you were trying to imitate," the human warned.

Zim shrugged and checked his surroundings. "So are you just sitting our here… _.without_ your Gameslave?"

Gaz shrugged again and looked up at the stars lighting up the sky. "It's nice out here," she said quietly.

"…How?" the green alien asked. He obviously didn't see what was so nice about being in the filthy, human park.

Gaz smiled. "It's just….peaceful."

Zim raised a non-existent eyebrow. "Um…peace…full?" What was this 'peaceful' the girl spoke of?

Gaz chuckled softly. Of course her violent friend wouldn't know the meaning of such a word. "Peaceful means 'calm', Zim."

"….'Calm'?"

"I'm not angry or anxious," the goth said, looking down at her feet.

Her foreign friend frowned. "Zim does not understand. How does looking at our galaxy make you feel full of peace?"

Gaz sighed and ran her fingers through her purple locks. How could she put this? "I…. actually really like space."

Now _this_ was interesting news to the invader. He sat beside the girl with a questioning look on his face. "Really? I thought you had no interest in life beyond your planet…at least before our partnership."

Gaz laid on her back and smiled a bit. "I don't know….it's like…I want to see what's out there…but I don't care about meddling with it. Do you understand?"

Zim gave her a blank stare, as if he was trying to read her mind. "….Absolutely not."

Gaz laughed slightly. She really wasn't good at explaining herself…but then again, when did she have to? "I guess…I just like to… _imagine_ what out there. Just leave it my thoughts."

Zim scratched his head. "…You would rather 'imagine' your victory?"

This made Gaz actually laughed. "I know it sounds weird. But to be fair, this is the only creative thing about me."

Zim shrugged, not seeing why she needed creativity to be an invader. Still, he couldn't understand why his friend would rather _imagine_ her dreams than actually work to discover it. He just decided to chalk it up as her laziness getting the better of her. But he was still curious. "So….when you finally saw an alien?" he asked, referring to himself, of course.

"I was thoroughly disappointed."

"Hey!" Zim growled, taking a moment to pause at her words. "Gr, how did you find out I was an alien anyway?"

Gaz paused for a moment before answering. "…You weren't into Kelly Clarkson."

Zim snapped his fingers. "Dang it! Of course! She's the object of affection for all human males!"

Gaz smiled affectionately. A moment of silence passed between them, as they watched the stars together. The human girl couldn't help but think how romantic this would be if it was anybody else but Zim. She quickly shook her head at her thoughts. Romance? What did she care about that? She was Gaz Membrane. She didn't believe in romance. And she knew her partner didn't either. Not that she cared what he thought about romance.

…Actually she did. Zim being a hopeless romantic would be downright hilarious.

"…Gaz?"

The girl quickly snapped out of her thoughts when the alien called her name. "What?"

Zim paused for a minute before fiddling with one of his antennas. He didn't know why he was about to ask this, but…he had to know. For some weird reason. "Have I….been doing good.…with this 'friend thing?'" He felt embarrassed to ask….but he never had a real friend before, and had never been one. He wanted to know if he was doing an adequate job.

Gaz smiled. "I think you've been doing great. I've never had a friend before you, so I'm no expert."

"I thought you said GIR was your friend?" he reminded.

Gaz nodded. "Yeah…but I care about him like I care about a goldfish. You're the first actual companionI've had."

Zim gave a small smile. "Why do you think that is?"

The Earth girl paused at this. That was a good question. Gaz had always had a strong dislike for those around her. Why was Zim so different? He was certainly annoying when she first met him. What changed? Why did she allow him to get so close to her? Why was she no longer annoyed with him?

Sure, she still found his rants ridiculous and over the top, but now she found them also endearing. She did admire his determination and intelligence, and he was the only one who understood her dislike for the human race.

"Good question," the girl finally answered. "I guess…we have a lot in common."

Zim paused for a moment and then slowly nodded his head. "Yes…I suppose we do."

Gaz smiled. "….I like you, Zim."

This caused the Irken to become dark green in the face. "W-W-Well….of course you do! I am Zim!" He didn't really know what to say. No one other than GIR had ever expressed affection for him, and he didn't know how to take it. Especially from the seemingly emotionless girl.

Unfortunately, the girl had more. "You're different than everybody else. You may be dumb at times…but you're determined to complete your goals, no matter what everyone says. Plus, you actually have a personality, unlike the rest of my race."

Zim looked around rapidly, feeling panic swell inside him. "W-Why are you telling me this?"

Gaz shrugs. "Just letting you know why I like you. I'll probably regret inflating you ego, but I just thought you should know…for some reason."

Zim scratched his head. Was he supposed to tell her why he liked her now? Was this part of the 'friendship' thing? Seemed a bit mushy for him, but Invader Zim always made sure to excel in all his titles! Even one as complex as this.

"You…are different….as well," he began. "You actually have a brain. I am…rather fond of you. It's quiet hard to believe. You must obviously be an Irken in disguise and not one of those brainless monkeys."

"You got me," the girl replied, trying to keep the slight blush on her face.

Zim, stunned by her answer, began to poke her in her side.

Gaz pushed his hand away. "I was just kidding. We sure showed Dib today huh?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

Zim, glad that they were done with the emotional stuff, nodded proudly at her comment. "Yes, I do enjoy making your brother miserable! We were despicable!" He paused for a moment once he remembered how his friend had actually frozen up at one point. It had piqued his interest and still haunted his mind. "Except when Dib mentioned your mother-unit. What was up with that?"

Gaz's small smile instantly disappeared at his words. She sat there quietly for a minute, not believing he had brought that up. No...no way. She had already dealt with this once today. That was enough for one year. Shaking her head, she got on her feet and began to depart from the beautiful spot.

This caused the invader's antennas to stand up straight. He certainly wasn't expecting her to leave him in a huff! He had spent enough time with the girl to know when she left him, she was angry with him. This was displeasing to him.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

Gaz shook her head. "Zim…we need to head back."

The invader wasn't buying it. His human was upset and he needed to know what was capable of doing that. Why did her mother-unit make her stiffen? "I believe I have hit what you humans call a 'touchy subject'. What is wrong?"

Gaz glared at him. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"…It hurts too much to talk about."

"Apparently, but how does talking about something hurt someone?"

Gaz sighed. "Have you ever had such a tragic thing happen to you that it physically hurt you to talk about it?"

Zim paused for a minute to ponder this. Slowly, he shook his head. "No, I like talking about myself."

The Earth girl shook her head. Should she tell the invader? He wouldn't care. He would find her stupid for caring so much about another being. But then again, he wouldn't ask her to tell him if he didn't care, right? He may not understand, but he was willing to listen. And it would feel nice to finally get it off her chest.

Her musings were interrupted as she felt herself once again being poked by her alien friend, but this time, in the face.

"Tell the invader about your mommy," Zim pretended to pout.

Gaz pushed his hand away and returned to her seat beside him. "You'll call me weak," she warned.

Zim smiled. "Oh, now I _must_ know about this!" He had thought this human many things, some not always pleasant, but never had he thought her _weak._ At least not as a person.

Gaz rolled her eyes. She took a deep breath before beginning, "…My mom was the only one who ever understood me. I used to be…happier. I was strange, but I was happy." She took another deep breath. "My mother was my best friend…and a few years ago….she died."

Zim blinked. "So?"

"'So'?" Gaz echoed, annoyed with his reaction despite expecting it..

"Death happens to us all, Gaz. Why should it affect you in the slightest?" Zim asked.

The small girl sighed. "Well, how would you feel if your Tallest died?" she asked, trying to apply her problem to his world.

The green man shrugged. "I'd accept it. I actually killed my last Tallest." _By accident,_ he added in his head. "I respect my leaders, but when it's time for them to go, it's time for them to go." It was true. He held his leaders in high regard, and he enjoyed being one of their top invaders, but why in the world would he care if they died? He would just continue to service to the next Tallest.

"So death has no effect on you?" Gaz concluded.

"Well, your close call was kind of-" Zim abruptly stopped his words once he realized what he said. He bit his lower. Zim had been around for many years, and he had definitely seen his fair share of deaths. Not one of them had ever fazed him. In fact, he thought they were beautiful. However, when his human friend nearly died…he felt his chest hurt. Badly. He got…scared. And he wasn't in any danger. It was a baffling and frightening experience.

Gaz blushed a bit but quickly hid it. "She meant a lot to me," she continued. "Her death cut me deep. Her death…hardened me."

Zim cocked his head to the side. "Are you telling me death can change a person?" This was new information to him. Who knew death was so important?

"It can," Gaz nodded.

 _What would have happened to me if the Gaz-girl had died?_ The thought sprung into the alien's mind unintentionally, and he didn't like it. He decided not to dwell on it. "How did your mother-unit die?" he asked.

Gaz took a shuddering breath. This was downright painful. She looked down at her shoes before beginning. "To be honest? I really don't know. She went out to go s hopping and she never returned. I remember staying up late, waiting for her to come home. I had a picture I wanted to show her. I was starting to fall asleep when Dad put me in the car. He told me we were going to find Mom." She bit her lower lip to restrain her tears that were threatening to spill. "We searched for hours….we never found her…all we could find was her smashed up car sitting by a building. There was blood all over the seat…and ahold in the window. I don't know if she was shot or…"

"Alive?" Zim finished.

Gaz's eyes widened at his words. That's not what she was about to say. "What?"

Zim shrugged. "Did you ever see her body?"

Gaz shook her head. "No, I just said we never found her."

"Then she could still be alive," the alien said simply.

The human shook her head at her friend's optimistic words. She had no idea how he would react to her story, but this was baffling. "That's impossible."

Zim smirked. "You and I are invaders! Nothing is impossible!"

 _You and I…invaders,_ she smiled softly at the title given to her. But she knew his conclusion about her mother was probably created out of his arrogance. "Zim…"

"Do you value your mother-unit?" Zim challenged.

Gaz glared at him. "Of course I-"

"Then you need to seek her out!" Zim shouted, getting up on his feet and striking at arrogant pose. He looked up at the sky. "So hear me- uh, what's her name?"

"….Tif."

"HEAR ME TIF MEMBRANE!" Zim bellowed into the night. "THE ALMIGHTY ZIM SHALL FIND YOU! THERE'S NOWHERE ON THIS PLANET YOU CAN HIDE!" The alien raised his claw in the air. "The almighty Zim will search this planet top from bottom! He shall find you and return you to your daughter-unit and undeserving son!"

Gaz felt tears well up in her eyes. Wow…he actually _cared._ He didn't laugh at her sore spot. He didn't understand it, but he respected it. Heck, he even wanted to make it better. No one had ever cared…about what she had to say. It stunned her in to silence.

Zim smirked, unaware of his friend's teary eyes. "The almighty Zim can do anything! Finding your mother-unit shall be-"

He was suddenly cut off by a pair of slim arms wrapping around his neck.

Zim paused at the human girl's actions. He knew that this act was what humans called a 'hug'. Humans used them to express affection. He didn't know what to do. Did his speech make her do this? He meant what he said. Gaz was a loyal companion. She had earned his help. He would be sure to find her mother-unit as soon as they pleased the Tallest.

And this caused her to do the 'hug' on him? What should he do? Should he-

Without completing his thoughts, Zim slowly pulled his companion away, unable to handle the awkwardness.

Gaz fiddled with the tip of her bangs and moved away. "Sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I know you like to be touched…especially by humans."

Zim suddenly felt guilty for pushing the girl away. Struggling, he awkwardly attempted to wrap his arms around the girl to return the embrace. After several sloppy attempts, he instead settled with shaking her hand.

Gaz laughed, something that she had never done until she met the invader. "Thanks Zim. It…means a lot to me that you care enough to help," she smiled.

Zim shrugged. "Well, to be honest, if losing your mother-unit is what toughened you up, I'm glad it happened."

"Aaand the moment died just like that," Gaz deadpanned.

Zim was about to retort, but instantly swallowed his words once he heard a loud clap of thunder above their heads. He gulped as the once clear sky quickly became covered in clouds. This was just great. Thunder was the death rattle of rain.

"Oh Irk.."

"Oh Irk indeed," Gaz muttered.

Zim smiled nervously at her. "Listen Gaz, usually just command it, but I know by now that would just be pointless. And considering the fact that we kind of had a tender moment back there, I feel like I shouldn't have to…"

Gaz gave him a disapproving look.

"…Please?" Zim begged slightly.

His partner shook her head before lifting her arms up. Zim then grabbed her and positioned her as an umbrella to keep him safe from the oncoming rain. Just as he did many years ago. Smiling, the invader carried his umbrella/partner all the way to the base.

* * *

How many times had he sat here, musing about his enemy? How many times did he threaten to use his dad's machine on his hated enemy? When was he going to get out and use it to his advantage?

He sighed. Because although turning Zim into a human had its appeals, it would in no way help him complete his mission. How could he get Zim on the dissection table if he wasn't an alien? Humans were banned from the dissection table two months ago.

He had a powerful weapon...but he had no idea how to use it.

All he knew was that his time was running short. He knew how evil his baby sister could be. With the two devious minds working together, the Earth didn't stand a chance. With the betrayal of his sister and the demise of his planet soon at hand, Dib had despair galore bottled up inside him.

So, he decided to handle his pent up aggression in the best way there was.

"Aaaaaand submit!" Dib announced as he clicked his mouse. He nodded in approval at his latest fanfiction, _Boy Kills Alien._ Ah, he felt better already! This was one was going to be a hit! It was the story of how a typically gorgeous boy killed the horrible green alien who had kidnapped his ungrateful sister. It was rated M. Oh yeah, let the reviews pour in!

"So, it that how you plan on enacting your revenge? Writing a story about it? I'm a little disappointed in you, boy."

"What the-" Dib sharply turned his head and compressed a shout. Lying on his bed was a seven-foot-tall grey crab. Its snow white hair reached past its shoulders. Its eyes were blood red and seemed to be glowing with malice. It had a pair of claws and a pair of muscular arms, both seemed to be able to crush any human with one flick of the wrist claw/hand.

This creature was definetly not from this planet.

Dib removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Oh man, what did Dad slip in my lunch?"

The alien gave a throaty laugh. "I am real, Dib. As real as that green menace that lives a few doors down."

Dib's mouth dropped open. "You…you're an alien?"

The Vesen chuckled darkly. This human was slow. "Well, it depends on how you look at it, yes? To me, _you_ are the alien."

Dib shooed away his comment with his hands. "Yeah, yeah, sure….mind sitting there while I….get my camera….?"

Vixen shrugged, carelessly. He could kill any human who tried to take him. "Sure, go ahead. Take pictures of me and send them to that Swollen Eyeball Agency of yours."

The boy's eyes widened. "W-What? H-How did-?"

"I know much about you, Dib. To the point where it's inappropriate." It was true. Studying and observing Baby Gaz had automatically caused him to learn about the Earth boy as well. Not that he was any interest to him.

Dib, used to hearing creepy and unnatural phrases such as that, dismissed his last comment and asked, "Why would you let me take photos of you?"

Vixen got up from his seat on the bed. "I care not if my race is discovered. I have nothing to fear from your race."

Dib gulped. "Y-Yeah okay." He slowly grabbed his camera and pointed it at the alien, praying in his mind that he wouldn't change his mind. "I…What do you want from us?"

Vixen shrugged. "I want nothing from you humans. I only seek the destruction of the green menace." It wasn't a total lie. He did want the celery stick gone. When his trusted soldier reported to him, saying that the Irken had killed one of his men, he was beyond humuliated. Who knew the little booger actually had the strength? It then became apparent to the Vesen leader that if he wanted his Dark Source, he needed to make sure the Irken was out of the picture. And who better to turn to for assistance than the one who had been obsessively watching him for four years?

Oh sure, he could chop the boy up if he wished, but with his weapons on limit (due to the lack of the Dark Source), the boy could match up to him, laser to laser. He needed this boy to give his some pointers….

He grinned as the human boy's mouth dropped open. "W-What? You mean Zim?"

Vixen frowned. "Is that his name? Zim? …Hm, I knew you would know his name."

Dib frowned. "What do you want with him?" He wasn't concerned for his enemy, not in the slightest. But he as curious as to who else held a beef with him.

Vixen shrugged. "Does it really matter? The point is I want him gone, off this planet!" Here he gave a wicked grin. "And I know you want the same."

Dib's frown deepened. NOW he was starting to get disturbed by this guy. "So?"

Vixen sneered. "So…I have the technology and the man power to take him out…I just need some…information about him," he said, trying to act friendly.

Dib, now fully invested in the conversation, unconsciencly set down his camera. "Wait, you know all this about me, but not him? When did I become more interesting than _him?_ "

"I don't see him as interesting. I see him as a monster. I can make him disappear, but I need to know some of his weaknesses."

Dib huffed. "I have it under control."

Vixen raised a white eyebrow. "Really? Is your sister befriending that monster 'under control'."

The boy bit his lower lip. "Huh?"

Vixen smiled at the boy's dubious face. "Help me, Dib. Help me get rid of this menace and save you sister."

Dib thought about the alien's words. Should he trust the guy? Nothing about his frightening appearance seemed trustworthy….but he didn't know what else to do. Heck, he had to leave his fanfiction on a cliffhanger because he didn't know how to end it! What to do…

"You're not going to tell me _why_ you're after Zim, are you?' Dib questioned.

Vixen smiled as he leaned in close to the boy. "It's not relevant."

For a while the two had a stare off. Both trying to read the other's minds. When finally-

"You'll help me save my sister?" Dib frowned.

"Of course," Vixen lied.

"And how do I know I can trust you? I mean, you ARE an alien after all."

"I want to kill Zim. What else do you need to know?"

"…."

"…."

"Deal."

Vixen chuckled darkly. "Excellent."

"And now I must pee!"

"W-What?" Vixen stuttered.

"Decisions give me a weak bladder!" the boy announced before rushing out of the room.

Vixen shook his head at the boy's oddness. This was going to be a difficult partnership.


	14. Thank You

_hey gaz! look what i lrnd 2 do!_

_Who are you?_

_Iz me! zim!_

_Zim? How did you get my number?_

_Waz_ a _peez of cake. Just chekd yo cellular fone!_

_Creep. Well, I see you learned how to text._

_Thiz iz how humanz talk 2 each otha now!_

_...Where did you get the impression all human text like they have mental problems?_

_Iz text tawk! Lol. We can comunikate like tiz between claz lol._

_Do you even know what 'lol' is?_

_Lozerz often lie. Idk why peeple say that, but itz what the humanz do!_

_Whatever._

_C u l8ter!_

_I'd kill your source of information if I were you._

Zim shrugged and placed his newly acquired cellular phone in his PAK. She was just jealous that he could learn more about her world than she could his. He made his way to his locker and grabbed whatever books he required for his next class.

Very soon. Very soon he would be ready to present Gaz to his Tallest. They would praise them, probably throw them a banquet, and then they would be sent on their merry ways to conquer this filthy planet

And kill Dib. They were going to fix killing Dib somewhere in the mix.

 _Speak of the piggy,_ Zim thought as he caught sight of the big-headed human. He watched as Dib shuffled through his locker, a concentrated frown on his face. Zim saw him, but did not approach him. After all, he won didn't he? The fight was over. He no longer needed to torture the human. He could silently bask in his glory and watch as the human quietly accepted defeat. There was no reason bring their past conflicts up anymore.

...

BWHAHAHAHA! YEAH RIGHT!

"What's up stinky human?" Zim said smugly as he walked up to the horrible human.

Dib didn't say a word.

Zim frowned at this. "Do you wish to know where I learned that expression from? 'What's up'? I learned it from your SISTER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-I burned you."

Still, the human said nothing.

Zim rolled his fake eyes. "Sweet Irk, you can't even receive insults correctly!"

"I'm done Zim," Dib finally said.

Zim chuckled. "Well YEAH! But I'M supposed to tell YOU that."

"No, I mean I'm done with this game!" Dib growled while slamming his locker shut.

"Oooooh," Zim whispered. "You're mad, I can tell."

"I'm sick of playing this game with you! I'm done pointlessly yelling at you!" Dib said, pointing a pale finger at him. "I'll admit that I had some fun times chasing you over the years. It was actually kind of cool that I could finally study something I knew existed all along!"

Zim's eyes widened. "Why Dib, I never knew I caused you such joy," he said, fake emotion lacing his words.

Dib leaned in close towards the green alien. "But now, you've crossed the line. You brought my sister into this! And I swear on my mother's grave that I will make you pay for that."

Zim paused, remembering his promise to Gaz. "Your mother-unit is not dead."

Dib blinked. He wasn't expecting his enemy to focus on THAT part of his statement. "What?"

Zim shrugged. "Your sister told me about the unknown whereabouts of your mother-unit, and I do not believe she is dead."

Dib was shocked. He honestly couldn't compute what was being registered to him. "Gaz...told you about Mom?" How...how was that even possible?

Zim nodded, enjoying the shocked look on the human's face. Then again, when DIDN'T he shock the human these days? "Yes, I know about your mother unit, and I have decided to find her. Not for you, mind you, but for your sister."

Dib's eyes widened at the alien's words. "Did...Did you actually tell her that?"

"Yes-"

"You SLIME!" Dib roared. He grabbed the alien by the front of his shirt. "She's GONE! ALIENS TOOK HER! OF COURSE SHE'S DEAD! HOW DARE YOU PUT THAT FAKE HOPE IN HER?"

Zim paused before giving him a sly smile. "I thought you said you were done yelling at me?"

**BAM!**

Everything grew quiet. The kids in the hallway all stared. A cricket chirped but then wisely decided to shut up.

Dib had just punched Zim square in the face.

"YOU STAY AWAY...from my family," Dib said, starting to lose his bravado.

Zim was holding his claw over where his nose should be. "Did...Did you just HIT Zim?"

"Yeah...so? We've done a lot worse to each other in the past!" Dib defended.

"Yes, but we always fought each other like little girls! With sissy slaps and lady kicks! You just flat out PUNCHED me! How dare you actually fight like your own gender!" Zim screeched.

"Look-"

"I think you broke something!"

"Okay, I'm sorr-wait! No I'm not! You deserved that!" Dib growled. "And there's more to come! Be prepared alien!"

Zim was about to retort but was interrupted by the final bell. "We'll settle this later, human!" he growled before making his way to class.

"That's what you think!" Dib called instinctively. He nodded to himself as Zim left, not yet registering that he was going to be late for class. "Now that I have an alien army with me, I'll be able to take him down very soon!"

**"Ugh! That's all I ever hear! 'Soon, soon, soon,'! When is it going to be NOW?"**

Dib's eyes widened followed by him groaning. "Aw man, I'm hearing voices again!"

 **"See, there's a reason for that."** A puff of smoke burst around Dib's head, and a couple seconds later, a small version of himself wearing a devil get up was on his shoulder.

Dib blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Again. "Wait...are you-?"

 **"That's right. I'm your shoulder devil!"** the small figure said.

Dib shook his head. "But how is that possible? There's not a drop of evil in me!"

" **Don't be ridiculous. You're a teenager. You guys are practically the source of all evil."**

The boy couldn't argue with that. "Well, what do you want, 'bad side of me'?"

 **"I want you to stop saying you're going to do something, and oh I don't know, DO SOMETHING!"** the evil conscience yelled.

Dib frowned. "Listen, I'm strategizing for-wait, aren't you my bad side?"

**"Ya."**

"So...why are you encouraging me to kill the evil alien? That's a good thing. Shouldn't that be something my good side would say?"

_"DId somebody call my name?"_

Another puff of smoke and another version of Dib magically appeared on his right shoulder. This version of him was dressed in an angel get up and was...

"Wait, are you my good side?" Dib asked fearfully.

 _"That is correct,"_ the little angel sang.

"WHY THE HECK ARE YOU A GIRL?"

Sure enough, the angel Dib had long black hair and a woman's figure. Dib Angel (or Dibette) frowned. _"What's wrong with that?"_

Dib glared at her (of gosh _her)_. "I'm a man, you are part of me, therefore you should be my gender!"

Dib Angel shrugged. _"Well, your good side is a bit...girly. Therefor I am, in fact, a girl."_

Dib shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "This is so messed up..."

 **"I don't think so,"** Dib Devil said, giving the angel a wink.

Dib's mouth dropped. "No! Nuh-uh, stop!"

 _"Dib, leave the alien boy alone,"_ Angel Dib pleaded.

"What?" Dib screeched. "Forget you! I'm giving into my bad side!"

 **"Sweet, I barely said anything,"** Devil Dib laughed.

 _"Dib, this war has to stop. Your sister cares about this boy. Why would you hurt the only friend your sister has?"_ Angel Dib said.

"She's been brainwashed!" Dib growled. "She doesn't know what she's doing."

_"You don't give your sister enough credit. She's a smart girl."_

"She's EVIL, that's what she is!" Dib argued.

 ** _"Amazingly evil,"_ **Devil Dib purred.

Dib glared at him. "Again, you are a part of me. Leave my sister alone!"

 _"She's HURTING , Dib!"_ Angel Dib pleaded. _"Zim is the only one who understands her!"_

 **"KInda sad if you think about it,"** Devil Dib said.

"Zim doesn't understand her, he's USING her," Dib argued. "He's even using our mother as a bargaining tool!"

_"Your sister is not stupid, Dib. She knows your mother is gone. She's just happy to have a friend."_

"I could be her friend!" Dib exclaimed.

Both angel and devil exchanged a look before erupting with laughter. _ **"YOU WISH!"** _they both cried.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Whatever, what's your point...angel... girl version of me?"

 _"You need to make peace with Zim!"_ Angel Dib exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, I remember you spouting that nonsense," Dib grumbled. "Bad me? Your retort?"

 **"Waste that sucker!"** Devil Dib cheered.

Dib nodded. "Can't beat that. Bad me wins."

Angel Dib's mouth dropped. _"But he didn't even make a case! I'm actually talking to you, he just inserted snide comments every now and then!"_

 **"You're right,"** Devil Dib said. He looked up at the original Dib. **"This is what you really want to do."**

Dib nodded and turned towards his good side. "Be gone with you."

Angel Dib stamped her foot. _"FIne! Ignore the good one!"_

 ** _"_ Relax babe," **Devil Dib smiled, giving her a wink. **"How about I take you out and get you something pretty?"**

Angel Dib shrugged her little shoulders. _"Can we get some ice cream?"_

 **"Sure honey, I'll take you anywhere you want,"** Devil Dib said.

Dib watched in shock at the two's exchange. "What the heck is going on?"

_"Oh you always know how to make me feel better, teddy bear."_

**"What can I say? I've been touched by an angel!"**

"YOU. GUYS. ARE. ME!" Dib screeched. "Knock it off! My two sides are flirting with each other? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"

The angel and devil shrugged before disappearing, leaving Dib feeling disgusted by the whole experience.

* * *

Meanwhile, on a ship far away, Purple had his arms filled with donuts as he made his way down the hallway. He munched on a red velvet one as he hummed a merry little tune. It was such a good morning! He got to execute five small fries, got to install a new smoke machine, and now had all the donuts his little squeedely smooch desired! This day couldn't be any better!

 _"It's a beautiful day in the galaxy, it's a beautiful day for a victim. Won't you be mine, won't you be my victim?"_ he sang as he entered the computer room. "Say Red? I got us some donuts!"

Silence.

Confused, the tall alien made his way into the room and looked around. "Um...Red? You around?" He frowned as he continued to search around the small room. "Look, if you don't show up in the next two minutes I'm going to eat-"

"Ooooh."

Purple jumped at the sound of his companion groaning. "Red? Kinda creeping me out now."

"The horror..." Red moaned.

Purple perked up at t his. "Oooh! Where?" He quickly zipped to the front of the room and turned around the giant chair.

There Red was, groaning in misery and holding a small communicator to his chest. "The...pain..."

Purple glanced over his partner. "You look fine to me. Why are you being so dramatic when there are donuts that need to be eaten?"

Red didn't say a word, but instead handed his partner the communicator.

Curious, the tall alien pressed the start button and watched as a holographic image revealed a certain short annoyance.

_"Greetings my Tallest! I apologize for not reporting to you sooner, but I became distracted with my partner. I'm still a bit on the busy side, so I fear I must leave you a simple message this time. Unfortunately, I bring sad tidings. Invader Van was a traitor and tried to eliminate my partner and I. Luckily, with my AMAZINGNESS I managed to destroy him. My partner and I are safe and well, and are bracing ourselves for our trip to your base. We shall be there in a couple of days! Until then, Invader Zim, signing out!"_

Purple's mouth dropped as the message ended. "ZIm? He's..?"

"Still alive!" Red wailed as he banged his head on the computer counter. "Invader Van failed, and now we're stuck with Zim and his little girl companion!"

Purple groaned as he pulled out his own communicator. "Hey Joc? We're going to need jelly filled."

"What are we going to do?" Red asked. "Not only do we have to let Zim live, but we'll probably have to let this foreign alien become an invader!"

Purple shrugged, "Maybe it won't be so bad?"

"'NOT SO BAD?'" Red yelled. "She's going to know all our Irken secrets! Heck, who knows what he's telling her even as we speak!"

* * *

"I'm not going to taste anything, just so you know."

"You say that as if I'm not trustworthy."

"Silly Daddy, you are not worthy of trust!"

Zim glared at GIR before continuing to lead his friend deeper into the underground section of his base. A place he had snapped at her for entering almost one week prior.

"Can I take this stupid blindfold off now?" Gaz asked as Zim continued to pull her along with him.

"Not yet, impatient one," Zim said.

"What is this even made of?" she asked, pulling on the blindfold with her free hand.

Zim quickly removed her hand. "Why is that relevant?"

"Because it feels like rat skin."

"NOT RELEVANT!" Zim covered as they continued on their way.

"Whatever. This just better not be something stupid." Honestly, she couldn't imagine why Zim would want to take her down here, especially considering how badly he reacted the last time she was here. If he needed to show her something from the computer, he could just print it out and show her. Besides, she really needed some time to herself. She liked Zim, but she wanted some alone time. She had been planning to go to the mall and get the new Gameslave, but instead she was with Zim in his underground lair.

...Oh gosh, she was with Zim instead of getting her new Gameslave!

What was the deal?

Is this what happened when people got lives? It was unnatural!

"Zim, you have ten minutes to show me what you wanted to show me, and then I'm gone. Something really weird is coming over me."

"Are you sick?" Zim asked.

"...I think so."

"Well, please refrain from leaving your filthy germs anywhere, please and thank you," Zim said.

"Does Mommy need a tissue?" GIR asked.

"No, Mommy-gr, I need this rat skin off my eyes! What's going-"

"Here we are!" Zim cried, as he removed the "blindfold" from the girl's eyes. "What do you think?"

Gaz cautiously eyed the room she was shown. The walls were black with hints of purple thrown here and there. The bed was small, but very comfortable looking. There was a poster with the vampire piggy slayer on it hanging on the left wall. All her dolls and personal items from her old home were neatly placed around the area. There was a giant computer that was currently on a Gameslave site, showing the one she was pining over a couple of seconds ago. There was also a strange looking machine in the right corner.

Gaz was speechless. "What...what is all this?"

Zim took pride in the girl's wide eyed expression. "Your room. As promised."

"You were actually serious when you said you were going to make me one?" Gaz asked.

"Yes...well, at the time it was going to be more like a storage closet, but Zim decided to go all out!" Zim announced. Excitedly, he grabbed his friend's hand and led her to the computer. "See this? This computer hacks into all the sites that have your precious Gameslave. It allows you to see all the stores where they are selling and at what time they are released. You can also use it to communicate with me wherever I am. Even if I'm out of the base."

He then pulled over to the strange looking machine. "This is an automatic pizza maker. Just pour in a few ingredients and you may have the disgusting pizza whenever you desire it. You may also add ingredients from other foods, so you may make strange combinations like the pizza cookie."

Gaz looked in wonder at the room bestowed upon her. "You did all this...for me?"

Zim paused. "Yes," he said, sounding pretty surprised himself.

Gaz didn't know what to say. No one had ever taken such consideration in her before. No one had ever payed any mind to what she wanted, only writing it off as unhealthy habits. No one ever cared...

But Zim.

"Why?" she finally asked.

Zim pondered this. He knew the Gaz girl was now his friend, but what made him go to extreme lengths just to give her a nice room? He had started by making her a bed and getting her stuff from her old room. But suddenly that hadn't been enough. He made sure her walls were an appropriate color. Then he made sure she had a way to reach him and her Gameslaves. Then he added the pizza maker, just because he knew how much she would like it..

Was this new feeling to please her part of the friend thing? It was so bizarre...he was pleased even though he didn't receive anything. He just gave his friend an amazing room. Why did that make him so happy? Because he liked her? It was all so strange...

"I'm not sure," Zim said, hoping she wouldn't be angry with his answer.

Instead of anger, however, a smile grew over Gaz's pale face. "Thank you Zim...I mean, a lot."

Zim felt a surge of pride and glow shoot through him at her words. He wouldn't be surprised if he had a blush on his face. If this feeling was really part of the friend thing, he wouldn't mind doing things like this for Gaz in the future. He liked this feeling, whatever it was.

"Zim?"

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts as she still sported the smile HE had created on her face. "Do...do you want to go get the new Gameslave with me?"

Zim took a brief pause but then nodded. "Sure." May as well see what the big deal was with these Gamelsave things.

* * *

"I wish you had told me these silly devices were being held at the putrid MALL!" Zim complained as the duo entered the building.

"For future references, EVERYTHING is sold at the mall, and stores just try to rip it off," Gaz informed him.

"Whatever, I just don't want a repeat of last time, so do please refrain from doing so!" Zim huffed.

Gaz frowned. "What did I do? All the bad things that happened to you in the mall pretty much happened because of your hyper curiosity. In fact, nothing bad even really happened to you except in _Game Pause."_

Zim shrugged and placed his hands behind his back. "Zim is never guilty of anything. I always perfect everyth-DOWIE!" The alien stopped his words as he slammed into the back of a rather large human. This instantly got the small green man fired up. "Hey! Watch where you're going!"

The human slowly turned to reveal a pale face and bloodshot eyes. " _Shhhhhh,"_ the creature before him hissed. _I have been waiting in line for this Gameslave for twenty-four hours straight.I haven't had any food, water, or bathroom breaks. My pants are literally filled with pee right now, and I just ate the guy in front of me's hat. I am in no mood for grey skinned kids sassing me. So...DEPART."_ With that, the creature that was once a human slowly turned back around, gazing back at the long line of humans in front of him.

Zim's mouth was wide open and his fake eyes were bulging. Were these...were these his friend's people? They were horrifying...which fitted Gaz's department pretty well, but these humans were disgusting looking! And Gaz was pretty.

He slowly turned to his friend who hadn't even noticed the exchange. She was too preoccupied with something on her phone...which she apparently had. "Gaz?"

"Huh, what?" she said, finally lifting her head.

Zim pointed towards the line in front of him. "I'm assuming this is line for your Gameslave thingy?"

Gaz looked ahead of her and grimaced. "Are you kidding me? What time is it? How can the line be so packed? I knew I should have skipped skool for this! Or at least have headed straight to the mall afterwards!"

Zim's eyes widened. "Wait, are you saying that we have to wait our turn after all these humans? UNACCEPTABLE! I SHALL NOT BE SERVED AFTER THESE WORMS!"

This earned him glares from everyone standing in line in front of him.

 _"All in favor for killing the grey kid after this say 'aye',"_ the guy he talked to before said. All the mutant children raised their hands and said, " _Aye!"_

Zim frowned. "I'm not grey!"

_"Well how would I know that? I CAN'T TELL COLORS APART ANYMORE!"_

"Uh-huh, Gaz is this really worth it?" Zim asked his friend.

Gaz looked behind her shoulder distractedly before saying, "Uh...yeah. Say Zim, would you mind staying in line for me while I go get something really quick? It should only take a couple of minutes."

Now, normally Zim would be outraged that she would leave such an unbearable task to him when it was HER Gameslave they were trying to get. However, he actually had a plan of his own, so he excused her without a fuss.

"Go ahead, Zim shall wait."

Gaz smiled. "Thanks, be back in a sec." And with that, she left.

Zim took a minute to wonder to himself what Gaz needed that was more important than her Gamelsave thing, but he didn't dwell on it long. There was no way he and his friend were going to end up like the poor creatures in front of him. Chuckling darkly to himself, he pulled out a laser from his PAK and zapped the humans in front of him with it.

**BZZZZT!**

The humans cried out as they felt their muscles tighten and their legs freeze. They all began to verbally panic as they were prevented from reaching their beloved games.

_"Nooo!"_

_"How is this happening?"_

_"My Gameslave!"_

_"This has to be a nightmare!"_

_"I can't get the game! Why couldn't I have gotten diabetes instead?"  
_

_"I'm gonna die!"_

_"Call the SWAT!"_

Zim took a moment to soak in their misery before making his way to the front of the line, much to the dismay of the other humans. But what did they matter? They would probably do the same thing if they had a paralysis laser. HAHA! They wished!

The game producer seemed unfazed by his distressed customers as the small green alien made his way to the counter. "One new Gameslave, please!" Zim said in a sickening, sweet voice.

The man rolled his eyes. "Well, duh! That's why you stood in line for so long, right? It wasn't to come see me right? Because that would actually be considerate, right?"

Zim gave him a weirded out look. "Uh...Gameslave?"

"GET A LIFE!" the guy yelled as he threw the new bright green Gameslave at him.

Zim, not bothering to pay (not that the guy cared at this point), proudly made his way out of the line.

"ZIM?"

The invader's eye twitched at the sound of a familiar voice. He groaned. It sounded just like him...but really...AGAIN?

"YOU like Gameslaves? You don't seem like a real player to me!" the fat, bug-eyed boy screeched as he came up behind the alien.

"...Iggens," Zim simply said.

"You're no gamer! Admit it! What's the deal?" Iggens yelled, saliva flying everywhere.

Zim rolled his eyes. "I do not need to answer to you."

Iggens glared at him, which looked really weird on his face. "It's for Gaz isn't it? You've been hanging out with her a lot, and you probably got that game for her!"

 _Why am I wasting my time with you?_ Zim mentally asked. "Yeah, so?"

Iggens looked like he was going to throw a temper tantrum. "Well, KNOCK IT OFF! Gaz is mine! She's my pretty girl, and I want you to keep your creepy three-fingered hands off her!"

Now, Zim had already run into this human two times before, and it was very clear that this human was "in love" with his friend. He already knew this human was super clingy to her and wanted her all to himself. He had already seen this two times before, and he had just shrugged it off as creepy behavior from a creepy human.

But now...now for some reason, his words enraged him to no end. Something stirred deep within him, along with emotions he was quiet familiar with, such as anger, hatred, disgust. He wanted to make sure this human never said those words agains. No, he wanted to make sure he never talked about Gaz again period. Saw her. THOUGHT about her.

"I'd zip your human mouth if I was you," Zim growled, his face dead serious.

"And if I don't?" Iggens growled.

Zim was about to grab the front of the human's shirt like he'd seen in movies, but decided to refrain from touching the disgusting creature. "She is not yours! She is-" He stopped himself just in time from saying 'mine'. That's not what he wanted to say...no.

Iggens leaned in close to the alien's face. "Stay away from MY Gaz!"

Zim's scowl deepened. He reached inside his PAK and pulled out a human sneaker. "Say Iggens...are you still looking for that star?"

* * *

Gaz was surprised to walk out of the store to find her fellow geeks paralyzed and panicking. They couldn't move and were frozen where they stood. Gaz rolled her eyes. She knew exactly who did this.

Zim...that clever son of a gun.

She tightened the grip on her shopping bag before making her way to the front of the line. Eventually she found Zim standing by himself with the Gameslave in hand.

"Nice work," Gaz complimented as she took the game from his claws to examine it closely. "Did anything happen while I was gone?"

Zim casually placed what remained of the sneaker in his PAK before saying, "We won't have to deal with Iggens anymore."

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Iggens? He was here?"

"Nobody can prove that, _"_ Zim said. He then gave her a look. "Where did you go? What was so important that you didn't kill all those humans in order to get you precious game?"

Gaz reached into her shopping bag. "I read on my phone that it's going to rain soon. I got you this." She pulled out a dark green rain coat, with a hood and poncho. "It'll keep you dry."

Zim grabbed the coat and looked up at her with a sad expression. "Water hankie armors already exist?"

Gaz gave him a confused look before taking his coat and pulling it over his body. "It fits like this, see?" When she pulled his hood up, she accidentally pulled his face closer to hers, causing both of them to blush at the proximity.

They both looked each other in the eyes for what felt like a long time, neither understanding why. The two most untouchable people in the world's faces were now inches away from each other...and it wasn't weird in the slightest.

With Gaz still holding his face close, Zim finally spoke. "Thank you."

Gaz slowly released him before saying, "You too."


	15. Meeting Vixen

Dib had to take many deep breaths to prepare himself for the task ahead of him. For once he was glad that his dad was so neglectful, so he had no way of knowing his spare tools had been stolen.

The boy worked fervently on the cables in front of him, all while trying to contain the butterflies that were erupting in his stomach. This was it. Tonight was the night. Tonight Zim was going to pay.

These aliens known as the Vesen had pulled him away from his homework to tell him that their plan was ready to begin. They took him to their vessel and asked him for all he knew about Zim.

Dib didn't hesitate to give all the information he had, including all the secrets he had learned about Zim over the years and all his weaknesses. He was a little put out when the leader, Vixen, had laughed at the fact that the boy had all this information and STILL couldn't defeat the alien, but he decided to let it go.

He was now in the vessel (which was currently disguised as a plane) and they were flying through the town, searching for the alien. Dib had asked how they were going to find him if he wasn't home. Vixen had responded that he would be with his sister, and they could find her with ease.

Dib didn't really know how to respond to that, but decided that finding humans must be a breeze for these advanced aliens. He continued to tinker with the machine he was instructed to work on, even as he was approached by Vixen.

"How are you doing, human boy?"

"It's going well," Dib informed. "But why do you need this to be linked to everyone's TVs?"

"Not 'everyone's'," Vixen chuckled lightly. "Just everyone in the area...especially those in high places."

"But what for? What even is this?' Dib asked.

Vixen gave a dark laugh and gave the boy a soft clunk on the head with his claw. "You ask too many questions. Soon all your problems will be solved." He smiled and looked out the window. "In fact, I believe we're approaching your nemesis now..."

* * *

"What about th is one, DaddY?" GIR (disguised as a dog) asked his master.

"GIR, I don't care which hydrate you use, just PICK ONE!" Zim bellowed as he tightened his grip on the robot's leash. "AND I AM NOT YOUR FATHER-UNIT!"

"Don't yell. I told you we should have just waited until morning to let him out," Gaz said as she bit into some Chinese food she bought along the way.

"He would've scratched at the door all night and you know it," Zim huffed.

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Just another one of your brilliant inventions, right ?"

"No, the Tallest created him, not me," ZIm informed her.

"Of course they did," Gaz said, slurping one of her noodles. "And I suppose they assigned him to you as well?"

Zim frowned. "Your point?"

Gaz sighed. She wasn't going to have this conversation with him again. She just wished he could see how he was being played. "Speaking of the Tallest, when are we dropping in on those guys?"

Zim gave her a wide grin. "Tomorrow!"

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Gaz demanded.

"Zim just did," the alien said.

Gaz shrugged. "Fine, we're leaving tomorrow. Will we ever come back to Earth?" she asked, not really sure why she cared.

Zim nodded. "Of course, we still need to take over this puny, filthy place. We will arrive there, present you to the Tallest, show you around a bit, then be on our way."

Gaz took a bite out of her pork bun before allowing a small smile to spread across her face. "You know what Zim? I'm actually a little excited. Seeing a new planet...this'll be kind of cool."

Zim gave a proud smile. "Of course you are excited! Why shouldn't you be? THIS SHALL BE THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU! YOU WILL COME BACK A CHANGED HUMAN!"

Gaz gave a little shudder. "I guess I should be a little worried that we're going to an entire planet filled with aliens just like you."

"Remember, when we get there, YOU shall be the alien!" Zim reminded her. "You will be the only human who- GIR! NOT ON THE CAR!"

Gaz shook her head. "That'll definitely be something." Finally finishing her food, she reached into the bottom of the carton. "Fortune cookie time!"

Zim squinted an eye. "'Fortune cookie'? Are these like your pizza cookies?"

"No, they're these little cookies you add with Chinese meals. They have little papers inside them that have wise messages on them."

Zim frowned. "Are you saying they put trash in their cookies?"

Gaz shrugged. "I guess so." She then took her little cookie and popped it open. She read the message with a confused look on her face.

"What does it say?" Zim asked.

 **"ZAGR RULEZ! PLANT A KISS ON HIM FOR THE FANS!'"** Gaz read out loud.

Both invaders exchanged a look. "What the Irk does that mean?" Zim asked.

"I don't know know...must be some gang logo, like 'Zebras and Gorillas Rock'."

"Or 'Zealous Ancient Gig Reunions."

"...Yeah, that's probably it." Stuffing the paper somewhere safe, the girl turned back to her friend. "So we meet your Tallest tomorrow? I can't wait to give them a piece of my mind."

Zim frowned at her. "You shall do no such thing. You must put aside your foolish distrust in them and treat them with respect."

"Because they're taller than everyone else, right?" Gaz deadpanned.

Zim was now glaring at her. "I mean it Gaz. You are part of the Irken colony now. They're your rulers too."

Gaz scoffed. "I'm not part of the colony until the 'almighty Tallest' say I am. Who knows if they'll even accept me?"

Zim's glare instantly melted into one of his cocky smiles. "No need to worry, Little Gaz. You will not only impress them, but strike fear in the hearts of the other invaders!"

Gaz was caught of guard by this. "Zim, you really think I could scare your race?"

Zim shrugged, "Well, I certainly was scared of you at one point."

Gaz was about to respond to his kind words, but went quiet as a long wire shot out of a nearby plane and began heading straight towards them.

"Look out!" Gaz yelled as she pointed towards the sky.

But Zim didn't turn around in time. In another second, the wire had latched onto his PAK and had sent electric bolts all along his body. His wig stood on edge and his fake eyes twitched violently. Finally, the small alien fell unconscience and was pulled into the plane by the wire.

"ZIM!" Gaz screamed. She quickly grabbed the leash Zim dropped and pulled GIR towards her. "C'mon GIR! We have to get him!"

GIR"s eyes instantly turned red and he said, " _Yes, Mother Dearest!"_ Quickly, he stripped himself of his dog suit and ran underneath Gaz, preparing to launch off.

"Up, up, and away!" the bot cheered as he took off towards the plane, Gaz barely hanging on.

* * *

"WE DID IT!" Dib cheered as the unconscience alien was brought onto the ship. "We did it! Zim is ours! He's finally been defeated!" The boy did a quick little dance before pulling out a pair of poms-poms. "GO EARTH! GO EARTH!OH YES! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! THAT'S RIGHT!"

Vixen gave a dark chuckle. "Yes, and now we may commence-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, one second!" Dib then knealt down next to the knocked out Irken, and took a picture with himself on side, showing a thumbs up. "This is the greatest night of my life!"

Vixen gave an eerie smile. "That's good to know...then YOU can kill him."

Dib looked stunned but then gave a wide grin. "Really?"

Vixen nodded. "Yes, I have more...urgent things to deal with right now. He's yours for the taking." He swiftly handed the boy a knife. "Enjoy."

Dib looked down at the weapon in confusion. "Isn't this a bit primitive for a technologically advanced race?"

"No need to waste precious technology on the shrimp. Please, enjoy your vengence. I must leave," Vixen said as he headed for the door.

Dib frowned as he continued to look down at the sharp blade in his hand. "Just like that, huh?"

Vixen turned around with a sharp glare. "Is there a problem?"

Dib quickly shook his head. "No! Just...sorry to bug you."

The Vesen shook his head before heading out the door. _Just let him have his fun,_ he thought to himself. _Let him have his fun, and then you may kill him._

Dib gave a bit of a nervous laugh as he flipped over the small alien, so his PAK was exposed. All he had to do was break the shell and Zim would be gone. He didn't even have to break it to pieces really, he just need to cut a few wires so it was beyond repair. The PAK was Zim's entire life force...and it was his for the breaking.

The boy slowly raised his knife, ready to break his way through to the center of Zim's life. This was it. He was about to win. He was about to save his planet. He was about to destroy Zim, and then he could show his planet's scientists the body to prove he wasn't crazy! He was about to complete what he had sought for four long years!

...

Then why did he feel like crap?

Why couldn't he bring himself to finish the job? Why did he feel like something was terribly wrong about this? But what could be wrong? He had spent days gloating about how he was finally going to win, so why wasn't he finishing the job? Did he feel guilty? If so, for what? Zim was the villain! Dib was the hero!

Was it because this was too brutal of a deed for a hero? Just cutting into an unconscience foe? Was it because he DID know this was as close to a friend as Gaz was ever going to get? Did Dib actually feel sorry for the freak?

...

Or was there some part Dib that actually-

"DIB!"

Dib quickly snapped out od his thoughts when he heard the voice of his sister. His head snapped towards the window where his sister was glaring at him with a dark aura surrounding her.

Dib gulped. "Gaz!"

"DO IT AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!" she screamed, giving the window a hard push.

The lights began to brighten to extreme proportions, and the machines in the room began to roar with energy. "W-What's going on?"

"The Dark Source is powering my ship."

Dib turned to see Vixen had reentered the room, a sly grin on h is face. "I had a feeling the dear would follow her little friend. And now I get to see her face to face."

Dib was confused. "'Face-to-face'? What do you mean?"

Vixen chuckled darkly as he made his way onto the wing of his ship. "My baby Gaz...come to me..."

Dib's left eye twitched. "Oh, what have I done?"

* * *

"No need to bang on the glass my dear, I'm happy to let you in."

Gaz glared at the figure that approached her, all the while trying to keep her wind-blown hair out of her eyes. "Oh great, you guys again!"

Vixen chuckled. She was so cute. "Why don't you come inside and let me talk with you?"

"How about I just rip your face off?" Gaz snarled. She quickly turned to GIR. "GIR, get in there and help Zim. I'll handle this freak."

"K." In another instant, GIR was flying over the ship to the other side.

"YOU COULD'VE JUST GONE THROUGH THIS WINDOW!" Gaz screamed after him. She face-palmed before turning to the large alien. "Stupid space products..."

Vixen shook his head in endearment. "Ah Gaz, as bitter as always. Won't you come in for a drink? No need to stand outside the ship."

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "'Ship'?"

Smirking, the threatening-looking alien turned a knob on his wrist watch-that he suddenly had- and removed the disguise that was hiding his ship.

Gaz gave a small nod. "Ah, clever."

Vixen chuckled darkly. "Indeed. Now, will you come in willingly, or shall I carry you?"

Gaz glared at her foe. "Why do you want to fight me in there? I'm perfectly fine taking you out right here."

Vixen raised his hands. "I'd rather not fight you at all. I'm sure we can talk peacefully, can't we?"

"I have the bruises to prove that you guys are anything but peaceful," the human girl said. "Besides, look at you! You look like you were built to kill!"

Vixen lazily touched his claw. "This is just in case our research goes wrong. We Vesen will stop at NOTHING to gain the information we need."

Gaz glared. "Why do you guys want to know about the Irkens? Are you planning to conquer them or something?"

At this, Vixen released a booming laugh that practically shook the ship. "On no my dear! You are mistaken! I'm not after the ones you call 'Irkens', I'm not even after your own race!" Here he took a claw and raised Gaz's face up by her chin. "I'm only here for you."

Gaz snarled and pushed his claw away. "Never touch me. Well, if you don't want Zim, why did you hurt him?"

Vixen scoffed."You really are a strange child. I just told you that I want you, and you jump back to that green thing."

Gaz shrugged. "I'm not worried. You'll never be able to take me."

"I would already have you if that mutant turtle hadn't come to your rescue."

Gaz's eyes narrowed. "His name is Zim."

Vixen chuckled. "My bad. Zim, then."

"Listen, I'm actually not in the mood to doom anyone today, so just let me get my friend, and we'll leave you with just a punch in the left eye."

Vixen extended his claws. "I didn't want us to get violent over this...but I suppose you leave me no choice."

Gaz let her dark aura flow. "For me, there is no other choice.

* * *

Dib watched in horror as Vixen began to attack his sister. What was he doing? What was going on? The boy began to pound rapidly on the window, hoping to get the monster's attention.

"Hey! What are you doing? This wasn't part of the deal! Leave her alone!" After his hands became too sore to use, he began to panic. What could he do? Vixen was too large for him to defeat! Evil or not, he couldn't stand to see his little sister hurt. This wasn't what he agreed to do! Grr, he should've known better than to trust an alien!

"What am I going to do? What am I-"

"YYEEEEHHAAAAHHH!"

Dib quickly turned his head as Zim's crazy robot smashed through the metal doors of the room. He gave a cute smile before saying, "THEY WAZ NEVER ABLE TO GET ME!"

"Zim's robot!" Dib exclaimed. "How did you get in here?"

GIR grinned. "It was just like playing video game! Smash into all the doors and lil' minions!" The little bot then waddled over to his master. "I'm gonna wake up the princess now. The princess is my master."

Dib was about to protest, but shut his mouth as quickly as he had opened it. He couldn't stop Vixen...but maybe Zim could? He was the one who had the alien gizmos and gadgets! He knew the menace wouldn't waste his breath trying to save his sister...but to save his own skin? Yeah! In order to get out of here, Zim would have no choice but to fight the ugly lug! But there was no way he was going to help Zim directly...not this time...

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that!" Dib told the small bot before giving him a not-so-subtle wink. "But I need to keep working on that machine over there. So...I'm going to TURN AROUND and work-"

**Pow!**

GIR punched Dib's lights out.

The small bot then released four chargers from his head and plugged them into his master's PAK. "Recharging 10%...20%...30%...40%,...50%...60%...70%...80%...9 0%...100%!"

Zim's eyes snapped open before he jumped to his feet in a fail karate stance. "I'M WARNING YOU! ZIM IS A CRAZY!"

"Hey Daddy!" GIr said, retracting his chords.

"NOT A FATHER!" ZIm screamed on instinct. Blinking, he finally looked down at the little bot who had saved him. "Ah GIR...well done...a bolt of lightning must of hit me or something." The green alien then took a moment to examine his surroundings. "Where the Irk are we?"

GIR smiled. "WEZ GOT ABDUCTED!"

Zim groaned. "Again? Geez, out of everyone on this planet, why am I the only one who ever gets taken against his will?" He took another look around the room."Hey...is that the Dib-human? What is he doing here?"

"Turning around."

Zim shrugged at this answer before pulling out a camera from his PAK. He lifted the human's nose up so it looked like a pig's and snapped an embarrassing shot of it. "HA! Stupid pig-nosed human!" He smiled a triumphant smile before letting it disappear."Where is Gaz?"

GIR merely pointed out the window.

Zim quickly scurried over to the glass where his friend was fighting one of those beasts they had encountered once. While the monster had a few good hits on him, Gaz was in a far worse state. She had blood on her face and dress and was holding her right arm. Zim, though worried, was not surprised. Gaz was strong, but this thing was huge and looked like it was built to fight. Despite her condition, there was no fear in her eyes. Just annoyance. He felt a surge of pride for the human girl. No amount of pain inflicted on her would cause her to shrink away in fear.

That was so hot.

His eyes widened as he saw the monster slap the girl across the cheek with his normal hand, knocking her to the ground. He then grabbed her with a claw and made his way to the front of the ship.

"GAZ!" Zim cried. Without any word to GIR, Zim quickly climbed through the mess the small bot had made. He breathed heavily as he ran through the wreckage. He didn't know why, but these things were after his friend. The thought made his blood boil. He should've demanded where their leader was the minute they attacked the girl. Now they were both stuck on this ship and who knows what they had planned for her? He had to get to her in time!

"Hey!"

Zim tried to ignore the voice, but to no avail as something sharp grabbed him by his ankle. He was suddenly lifted upside down to the see the face of one of the monsters. "Was that your robot that just destroyed half our ship?"

"Yes," Zim answered.

"...Well, that was rude!"

"So's kidnapping someone. I'd say we're even!" Zim said.

The Vesen growled and smashed the small alien into the ground, pinning him down. "I don't like even."

The small alien struggled. He couldn't get anything out of his PAK for his back was currently crushed to the ground. "Let me go of Zim you ugly looking thing!"

The Vesen sneered. "Now, do you think that's wise? Insulting the one who can crush you in a heartbeat?"

"What's a heartbeat?"

Instead of answering, the Vesen pressed Zim even farther into the ground, causing his PAK to make a crunching sound. The Irken began to sweat. If his PAK actually broke, it was all over for him. It had already been short circuited once, which he had been able to fix (what help?), he didn't need it to be crushed to pieces!

"Where's your super impressive alien technology now? Hahahaha-OW!" The Vesen released the alien to grab his eye which had been struck by...the Irken's eye? "What the-"

Zim smiled before chucking his other contact at the alien's face, causing him to be blinded in both eyes. "AHHH! WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS? THEY FEEL LIKE ROCKS!"

"Contacts are never meant to be comfortable!" Zim said as he removed his wig and stretched it out so it could tie up the legs of the ugly creature. He smirked as the Vesen struggled. "If there's one thing we Irkens are, it's AWESOME!"

Chuckling darkly, the Irken opened his now free PAK to reveal a laser. He aimed right for the Vesen's forehead and-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"GAZ!" Zim cried. She had screamed. Not in anger or battle thirst, but in fear. What on Irk could scare Gaz? He cursed himself for forgetting what he was running for and quickly ran, the Vesen completely forgotten.

Luckily the Irken didn't have any other Vesen try to stop him as he made it to the front of the ship. He frantically examined the two doors that were ahead of him. One was black and said "Control Room", while the other was red and said "Gazlene Room."

Zim bit his lower lip. "Gaz...I want to save you, but I need a hint in which door you're behind! I don't have time to run in to anymore of these freaks!"

His ruby eyes shot back and forth between the two doors. Gazlene Room...Control Room...Irk, which room could she be in?

"Well..the Gazlene room...is red. Red is my favorite color. So THERE!" Quickly, he smashed through the red door...and halted.

There was his dear little friend...sitting on the floor. Her back was turned to him, so he couldn't really tell what she was doing. The room was dark, with only on or two lights to illuminate it.

Without wasting a second, Zim ran over to the girl and shook her. "Gaz, what are you doing? Are you unharmed? ANSWER ZIM!"

Gaz didn't respond. Her eyes were wide and bulging and her small mouth was wide open in shock. She seemed to be looking straight ahead at something.

Seeing his friend like this really unnerved Zim. She was even paler than usual. Nothing was supposed to be able to scare this human! Zim followed her line of vision...and his eyes widened.

There were thousands, THOUSANDS of computer screens decorating the room. Each one held pictures or videos of Gaz from different stages of her life. When she took her first steps, when she first went to school, when she spent time with her mother, when she stalked Iggens, when she made the deal with Zim, and so much more. There were thousand of purple haired girls playing different parts of her life. There was no part of the room that wasn't covered with her pale face

"Wow, someone is a HUGE fan of yours!" Zim said, snapping Gaz out of her daze and earning himself a glare.

"I guess you could see that." The duo looked at the right corner of the room as one the alien freaks stepped out the shadows. He looked just like the other freaks, except he seemed to be the largest and had long white hair.

"WOAH! That was so creepy!" Zim cried. "I didn't see you there! You just slinked out here like out of nowhere! I mean, how long were you standing there? That's true dedication!"

Gaz finally got to her feet and said, "Vixen."

Zim blushed and waved his hand. "Oh Gaz!"

"No! Him! His name is Vixen!" Gaz said, pointing a small finger at the alien.

Zim took a moment before erupting into a fit of laughter. "AHAHAHAAHA! OH! That's so sad! This big huge antagonist has a girly name!"

"Says the green been with the high pitched voice," Vixen said, finally losing his smug smile. "Why are you even here? The human boy was supposed to finish you off!"

Zim frowned. "What? You mean Dib? YOU WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO LET THAT FILTH KILL ME IN MY UNCONSCIENCE STATE? You sir, have broken the alien code of honor!"

Vixen scoffed. "There is no such code."

Zim rolled his ruby eyes. "Yeah, well, but that's only because I just made it up in my head two seconds ago!"

Vixen rolled his own red eyes. "Well, as your little friend said, my name is Vixen. I am the leader of the Vesen army. We are the perfect combination of brains and brawn. We are-"

"I've never heard of these Vesen!" Zim cried. He was caught off guard as the demon-like thing struck the Irken in the face, causing him to crash into a screen.

"Zim!" Gaz called as she ran over to help him up.

"Do NOT interrupt me," Vixen said darkly.

Gaz stood up and glared at the alien. "Who are you?"

"And DON'T make me repeat-"

"No, I don't care what race you are. Who ARE you? How do you know me?" She gestured towards the screens. "What is all this?"

"And why would you be so desperate as to hire Dib?" Zim added.

Vixen's smile instantly turned back into a grin, revealing sharp, white daggers. "As I said, we Vesen are technologically advanced, but they need a certain energy to power them up. The Dark Source."

Zim snapped his fingers. "I get it! And you want Gaz to retrieve this mysterious source!"

Vixen shook his head. "No. She IS the source."

The duo's eyes widened. "I'm a source?" Gaz whispered while Zim poked her in the arm.

"You have such dark fury burning within your soul...it's delicous. When extracted from your body, it will bring our weapons to their full potential!"

Zim scoffed. "You couldn't think of something easier to get? Like batteries?"

"Dark strength requires a dark power," Vixen said.

Gaz glared. "Why are you coming after me now? After fourteen years?"

"We knew that the more pain you went through in life, the darker our source would become. I've loved watching your suffering throughout the years. I can only imagine the power we will obtain from it. Your father's negligence, your brother's lack of understanding, your mother's disappearance-"

"You piece of-"Gaz growled as her aura began to grow. How dare he bring her mother up so lightly?

However, this only seemed to excite Vixen further. "Yeesss..let your anger grow!"

Zim glared at the man before placing a claw on Gaz's shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. "So you have been watching her non-stop?"

Here Vixen frowned. "Well...almost. We have no cameras in your house and my scanners seem to experience...difficulties when trying to see through it. So...all the time Baby Gaz has spent in your little house is unrecorded. That's why I hired the human boy. I know he's your rival, and he would be able to give me tips on how to get rid of you."

Zim, however, seemed to ignore the last part of Vixen's explanation and did a little dance. "HA! Irken securityat it's finest! 'We're the perfect combination of brains and brawn'!" Zim mocked, making his voice (more) high pitched. "Yeah, right!"

Here Vixen growled. "Well, once I have the Dark Source, my equipment will be flawless!"

Gaz took a step towards the alien. "So say I'm an idiot and Iet you sap me of my energy...what happens to me afterwards?"

Vixen gave a pitiful smile before reaching over and scraping off some of the dry blood on the girl's face. "Unfortunately...draining your aura will also come with draining your life...once I'm done, you will become nothing but a shriveled, lifeless shell."

Before Gaz could respond, Zim jumped in front of her and swatted the creature's hand away. "Not going to happen crab man. See? I can mock you based on your physical appearances too! HA!"

Vixen rolled his eyes. "You know... I was going to wait until you were eighteen to drain you, but your little partnership with this turtle-thing has caused me to cut in early. Can't have you leaving the planet."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "I was gonna come back, geez."

Vixen shook his head. "Can't risk it. You hate this planet, so what's stopping you from making a home out there? I want those celery sticks to be completely surprised once I invade them."

"But I'm going to tattle on you," Zim informed him.

Vixen waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry, you won't be leaving here alive. Now," he made a grab for Gaz, "let's start that draining process, shall we?"

Again, before Gaz could even respond, Zim scooped her up in his arms, extracted his claw legs and zoomed out of the room. "Hang on Gaz!"

"GET BACK HERE!" Vixen screamed. "THERE'S NO WHERE TO RUN! THIS IS MY SHIP!"

"It's my ship too!" a small voice said in the background. "I love ZAGR!"

* * *

"Zim! Put me down!"

"Not a chance, that ugly thing wants to KILL YOU!"

"I heard! But it's not like I'm going to let him! If he tries to mess with me, I'll doom him for all eternity!"

Zim only hastened his pace. "No! Grrr, his minions almost took you out! These Vesen are obviously very strong! And saying that caused me to compliment someone other than myself, so you know I'm serious!"

"Hey, I was the one who finished those things off! And what about you? You got knocked out! And why are we even on this ship? Because he knocked you out again!"

"Who's the one who had blood all over her?"

"Who's the one who was sent flying from a mere slap?"

"Who's the one I'm carrying?"

"I told you to put me down!"

"Who's the one not listening?"

'''Wha-"

The duo's bickering was cut off as group of Vesen came thundering after them. Zim's eyes widened. "Oh-"

"Perfect!" Gaz cried as she jumped out of the Irken's arms. "You stalkers are going down!" she yelled as she charged after them.

"Gaz, heel!" Zim yelled after her. Seeing that she had no intention to listen to him (what else is new), he ran over with him metal legs to join her in combat.

Gaz was already shredding through as many Vesen as she could het her claws on. She left some good marks on them, but was unable to finish off any due to her already weakened state. "I AM NOBODIES LAB RAT!"

Zim groaned but warded off as many Vesen as he could with his laser. He wanted to destroy every one of the freaks, but Gaz had already been wrecked by Vixen, who was only ONE Vesen. How was she going to take out a whole group with only half her health? He had to get her off this ship. They could kill these guys later, but right now he had to protect her.

And, shockingly, her safety was more important than his crave for battle.

He quickly scooped her up as she was almost crushed by the claw of a Vesen. This caused the girl to glare hatefully at the Irken. "What are you doing?"

"You are going to get yourself killed!" Zim yelled at her.

"Zim! Stop treating me like a baby! You know I can handle myself!" Gaz screamed while struggling in his grip.

However, Zim kept a firm grip on her. "In your regular state? Absolutely, these guys would be dooky in an instant! But you are hurt! You can barely move your right arm!"

"THESE GUYS HAVE BEEN STALKING ME! THEY NEED TO PAY! NO ONE MESSES WITH ME AND GETS TO LIVE!"

"And they will! But right now we have to get out of here! We need to heal you and better prepare ourselves!"

"Zim, I swear-"

"I can't _lose_ you Gaz!"

Well, THIS stunned the girl into silence. She looked at the Irken with wide eyes. He had a dead serious look on his face that she rarely ever saw. Serious and...pleading? She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a Vesen claw grabbing her around the neck.

"GA-ghkk!" Zim's words cut off as he was given the same treatment. Both struggled in the Vesen's grip as the leader of the hideous aliens stepped forward.

"Oh Baby Gaz...you should know better than to run away from Daddy Vixen. Now you got yourself and your friend in a rather tight spot, huh?"

Gaz glared at him before shifting her gaze over towards her struggling friend. She hated to admit it, but the freak was right. She took a deep breath and said, "Listen...you got me. Here I am. You won. Now let Zim go. There's no reason to keep him here."

"Gaz!" Zim protested.

Gaz couldn't look him in the eyes. That was the first time she ever placed misfortune upon herself for someone else's sake. It was an odd feeling...but she had experienced many odd feelings since befriending Zim. After this...sure, she could die for her friend. She could lose her life, if that's what had to happen next. But she could NOT lose Zim. Not without her giving her last breath to prevent it.

Unfortunately, Vixen only gave a haughty laugh at her request. "I don't think so. He'll just keep pestering me to let you go. I'll never have a day of peace! His fate must be sealed."

Zim glared at the Vesen. "So, you wish to kill the almighty Zim?"

Vixen growled. "I already tried to get the human to do that, and he failed. Typical, really. But luckily he wasn't completely useless. For you see, I was trying to be merciful and give you a quick death. However, I have a fate for you far worse than death!"

Chuckling, he pressed a button on a wall and a small video camera-like machine descended from the ceiling. "Your older brother helped me with this one, Baby Gaz."

"It looks like a video camera," she said.

"Oh, it IS," Vixen said, an evil grin spreading across his face. "A video camera that is linked to every television screen in the world!"

Gaz's eyes widened. "So...wait-"

"Oh yes," Vixen jeered, his grin now splitting from ear to ear as he turned the camera on and pointed it at her green friend. "Earth, meet INVADER Zim!"


	16. Introducing Gaz

Agent Booty sighed as he took a sip from his coffee mug. It was another late night att he Swollen. Eyeball Agency. Everyone else had given up and gone home for the day, but Booty did not easily quit! He knew there was something evil and paranormal going on in this little area. An evil dinosaur brought from the past was using abnormal abilities to hypnotize and control little children to play with him, and then once he was finished, he gobbled up the children and got new ones. He knew what the dinosaur was up to..he just couldn't belive he was doing it on television and no on e was stopping him!

His fellow coworkers left, saying the show was too horrifying for them to watch any longer. Booty agreed, but it was his duty to track down these monsters and eliminate them.

He took another sip of his coffee as another episode started on his television. "I'm watching you dino...I know the reason you have new children every episode!" He was about to take another sip of his coffee, but stopped as his TV began to static. "Huh, what?"

His eyes widened as he saw an image of a green alien with wide ruby eyes . He shook his head before inhaling the scent of his coffee. "Hmmm...clean..." he muttered to himself. Reaching in between the coushins of his seat, he pulled out a folder that read TOP SECRET: HIDE WELL. He opened it up to reveal a rough sketch of the average alien, as drawn by a third grader. Booty stole it from him with good intentions.

He closely examined the stick arms and bulging eyes. He then looked at the alien that was squirming on the screen. It was a perfect match! His skin even matched the green/yellow crayola that was colored in the picture! Then that meant...

"An alien!" Booty cried. He quickly pulled out his cell phone and called his number 2. "Agent Fannie! Get over here right now! We have a real live alien on our planet! ...Turn on your TV! He's right there! ...that isn't a costume!Look how nervous he is! He's sweating bullets! He knows we're onto him!...Just gather a team together immediately!" He looked down at the sketch drawing again and saw the alien drawing had a speech bubble that said 'I'll kill you!' in huge letters.s

"And hurry up! He's hostile!" Booty warned. After the call, he quickly got up to get his gear, then mentally cursed when he remembered what he had been doing previous to the alien exposure. Right. The dinosaur.

"Grr...I'll have to get you next time Barney!"he spat before leaving the room.

* * *

"Oie! Take a look at this!" Agent X called to the rest of his S.M.A.C.K team. The other three members quickly raced towards the television, grateful that they now had something other to do other then playing with their play do.

"What is it boss?" Agent 4 asked. "Did the Tigers win?"

"No you dimwitt!" X said, pointing towards the tv. "It's an alien! We've got ourselves an alien!"

"What?" 4 cried, pressing himself against the screen.

"Ah, it's probably just some teenagers expressing their fandoms again," Agent Kangaroo said, making his way back to his freshly made play do cookie.

"No, this is the real deal guys!" X announced before he pulled out his gun from under his laundry.

"How do you know?" Agent Iris asked.

"Because the guy holding the camera said so!"

The other three members instantly straightened themselves up. "WHAT? Then what are we waiting for? WE'VE GOT OURSELVES AN ALIEN TO ELIMINATE!" 4 announced.

X smiled. "Finally, and people said we were becoming useless due to 'lack of extraterrestrial activity'. This'll show them! Kangaroo, go get the choppers! Iris, go get our special armor! 4, go get our tanks! The password is "told ya you would need us'." He tilted his head and shouted up to the celing. "MOM! WE'RE GOING TO HUNT US DOWN AN ALIEN!"

"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE OUT OF MY BASEMENT?"

X rolled his eyes. "AS SOON AS THEY GIVE US BACK OUR SECRET HEADQUARTERS!"

"EITHER GET MARRIED OR GET OUT!"

"I told you, I'M MARRIED TO MY WORK! DO YOU WANT ME TO CHEAT ON MY WORK!" X growled as he looked at his uneasy comrades. "So then...off we go?"

* * *

A large, unhygienic man watched the television with a blank look in his face. So, the aliens were real huh? He pulled himself out of his seat and threw down his can of Poop soda. "Hon? I'm going to go join the cause."

''Yeah, sure Bob, whatever you say."

Bob then reached between his cushion seats and pulled out a pocket knife. "See you later, dear...maybe."

* * *

"Oh sweet Irk!" Zim cried as he struggled to remove himself from the Vesen's grip. "Let me go! Let me go now or I'll...I'll expose YOU in front of everyone!"

"Go right on ahead," Vixen chuckled. "I do not fear these humans. With my army, I could easily overpower any of them! You, on the other hand, are clearly outnumbered! Take one foot outside my ship and these pathetic humans will be all over you in a second."

Zim glared hatefully at the creature. No one kept the amazing Zim prisoner! His ego was too huge to contain! "These humans are too incompetent to understand-"

"Attention loyal people of Earth," Vixen cut him off, now speaking to the humans through the camera. "I present to you...Invader Zim! Some of you may know him as the strange green student who the boy named Dib would constantly obsess over. Well, it turns out, he wasn't as crazy as you assumed him to be! Here is the true Zim! An alien freak!"

Zim's eyes widened to the size of saucers. ''D-Don't listen to him! He's crazy!" He looked over towards his friend. "Did they hear me? Could they me here from here?"

"Of course they can!" Gaz hissed. "You seriously are asking me how video cameras work?

ZIm frowned. "Well, we don't have those on my planet!"

"ZIM! They can hear you!"

"IRK!"

"Believe nothing he says!" Vixen continued. "He's out to kill us all! If he catches you, he won't hesitate to probe your brain to get all the information he needs about Earth!"

A thoughtful look crossed Zim's face. "Huh...why didn't I think of that?"

"ZIM!"

"OH, DOOKY BITS!"

Vixen gave Zim a fake sympathetic smile. "Now you have nowhere to hide, green thing. I'll release you, and you'll have no choice but return to whatever backwater planet you came from! There's nothing left for you on Earth...just defeat." Here he smirked. "Just be grateful that you have an option to live."

Gaz frowned. "So wait, killing Zim was Plan A, and exposing his secret so he'll be hunted down like a fugitive was Plan B?"

Vixen shrugged. "Either fate works for me." He turned to Gaz and gently tilted her head up by her chin. "And...without any distractions...I shall finally obtain my Dark Source and destroy the universe."

Gaz raised a thin eyebrow. "Destroy it?"

Vixen returned the expression. "Surely you must've known that was my intention."

"You're not supposed to destroy it!" Zim yelled. "You're supposed to conquer it! Make other planets your slaves!"

"I will make new races, new planets," Vixen responded. "Every race in this galaxy is weak, excluding my own. I shall purge each and every one of them, create new races in their place, and rule them all with a straw finger, but an iron fist!"

Zim rolled his eyes. That sounded like WAY too much work. "And how do you plan on creating new life, smart guy?"

Vixen shrugged. "Electricity."

"...Oh yeah, that makes sense..."

Gaz, who had been quietly thinking through Vixen's speech about his plan, finally said,"Okay, so you plan on playing God...but I still have one important question."

"Hmm?"

"What's going to happen to the biscuits?"

"...What?" both Zim and Vixen said in unison.

Gaz shrugged (or as well as she could being held by a Vesen) and said, "Biscuits are the moat important life source to humans. Without them, my people would lose the will to live!"

A puzzled look crossed Vixen's face before Zim snapped his head towards the girl. "Why have you never told me this? Don't you think that information would be useful in our conquest?"

"Do you think I'm a fool?" Vixen said in a mocking voice. "Humans do not rely on stale bread to survive. I'm not even sure why you said that. Was that supposed to change my mind? I...isn't is pizza you should be protecting?"

"I like biscuits too," Gaz pouted, which Zim involuntarily thought was adorable.

Vixen smirked and shook his head with endearment He leaned in close to her face and said, "Well, Baby Gaz, I regret to inform you that all the biscuits in the world shall perish along with those who created them."

The Vesen only caught a glimpse of Gaz's evil smirk before something metal collided with his head, forcing him to fall back. "Wha-What the-?"

"MAAAH BISCCUUIIITS!" the metal thing cried as he bit into Vixen's head.

"GRAAAAH!" Vixen bellowed, losing his calm demeanor. "Someone get this thing off me!"

Unfortunately for Vixen, all the men considered themselves the "someone" and began fighting to remove the bouncing and biting robot, lest Vixen bit off a part of _them_ later.

With their captors distracted, Gaz and Zim quickly ran away from the scene. "Well done GIR!" Gaz whispered. And these guys were supposed to be highly intelligent..

The small girl's eyes shot open as Zim blasted a hole in the side of the ship, giving them a way out. Luckily, they still hadn't reached space...they were just 100 feet from the ground. No biggie...

...in Zim's mind.

"Let's go!" Zim said.

"Without GIR?" Gaz asked, her hair blowing rapidly from the wind.

"He'll be fine!"

"Yeah, but he's our ride! How can we get down there without him?"

Zim looked at her with an evil smile.

Gaz backed away in horror. "Zim...I know that look...please get us out of here without doing something insanely stupid!"

Zim's grin only widened as he grabbed her shoulders. "I heard nothing after 'get us out of here'!" With that, he scooped the girl up in his arms, and threw them out the hole.

Gaz, instead of screaming, sighed annoyance as they plummeted to their deaths. "Great. I escaped an evil alien over lord, only to have my friend succumb to his madness and kill us both."

Zim smiled as they plummeted towards the ground."Worry not, Little Gaz. We Irkens are very accurate with our landings. I'll simply grab the telephone pole, leap over to the street lights, propel us over to-"

CRASH!

Zim winced as he felt his PAK come into heavy impact with the roof of a car. Luckily, it wasn't enough to smash it, but it was certainly enough to make him dizzy enough to question his identity for a few seconds.

Gaz, who had landed on Zim's squeedly-spooch, shook her head to fight off her own dizziness. "Well, that could've gone better. Thanks for breaking my fall, Zim."

"Yeah...don't mention it..." Gaz gave a half smile before helping the Irken get back on his feet. "Are you well?" the Irken asked.

"Better than you," the small girl said, shaking her head. "Zim, what are we going to do?"

Zim firmly placed his claws on his hips and gave her a determined look. "Don't worry, Little Gaz. It'll take time for the gossip to spread. I should have enough time to make a device that'll wipe the memories of the few individuals who saw-"

"Look! It's the alien!" The duo turned their heads to see a human pointing towards them. "It's the alien, and Dib's freaky sister is working with him!"

Suddenly, the streets began filling up with humans, screaming is shock and horror at the sight before them. Some carried cameras while others carried bats and kitchen utensils. One was carrying an autograph book, but he was quickly pushed out of the way.

Zim's jaw dropped at the mob of humans that now filled the streets. "Oh sweet mercy..."

"Yeah, you really underestimated the power of television," Gaz said quietly.

The crowd was now roaring in rage and horror.

"It's hideous!"

"I knew there was something wrong with that Zim guy!"

"He's trying to kill us all!"

"Killl him!"

"Pluck out his antennas!"

"Send him to Texas! They'll know how to punish him!"

"JUST GET HIIIIIIIIMMMM!" one particularly annoying boy said. However, the crowd decided to listen to him (shocker), and began to charge for the green being in front of him.

Instantly panicking, Zim scooped Gaz up in his arms and pulled out his metal legs from his PAK, only furthering the humans' horror. "Quick! We must leave!" He then ran as fast as his metal spider legs could carry him, mentally begging that something would just make him disappear.

What was he going to do? His worst nightmare was coming true! The humans knew his secret. What was next for him? A tank? The dissection table? Sweet Irk, what if the mob really DID send him to Texas?

Once they finally reached the base, Zim quickly tossed his friend inside and locked the door. "We are in a heap of trouble, my scary friend!"

"Hey GIR," Gaz said nonchalantly.

Zim quickly snapped his head around to see his small robot slave watching television. "When the heck did you get here?"

"I... left?" the small bot asked slowly.

Zim shook his head. "Never mind. We need to get our of here! Our cover has been blown, GIR!"

GIR scoffed. "'Bout time."

"Where will we go?" Gaz asked.

"To Irk! We can't stay here!" Zim said as he ran into the back to grab some things.

Gaz's eyes widened. "What? Zim! Are you telling me you're GIVING UP?"

Zim scoffed as he grabbed as many of his hidden weapons as he could. "I'm not 'giving up', Gaz. I'm retreating!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Come on, just make a new identity! Start fresh!"

Zim continued to throw his things into his toilet so it could reach his underground base. "Are you kidding? The Tallest have been growing impatient with me for not making any progress since I got here! That's why I had to get a partner in the first place! If they find out I have to start my Earth life from scratch, they'll tear my PAK apart for sure!"

"So what's the plan? Go home to the Tallest and then what?" Gaz demanded.

"I don't know! All I know is that I need to get off this planet!" Zim yelled.

"No, you don't! If you would stop overreacting-"

The human girl almost jumped as the Irken suddenly appeared right in her face. "And how, Little Gaz, am I OVERREACTING?" He said in a dep, dark tone, as opposed to his usual high pitched, enthusiastic one. "The humans aren't out to kill YOU. They want to destroy me, don't you get it? IT'S. OVER. Zim's life on Earth is OVER! These pitiful humans have actually BEATEN me! I'm...I'm not even sure I can take over Earth anymore..."

Gaz was silent for awhile as Zim finished his rant. "...Well, technically Vixen beat you."

Zim sighed. "Listen Gaz...I know you entered this partnership in order to conquer your stupid race...and now I can't promise you that it will happen. So, if you wish to leave and exit...all of this...I understand."

Gaz was a bit taken aback by the alien's words, but was even more surprised by the look on his face. Gone was his mixed expression of panic and anger, and replaced with a look of...sadness? Forlornness? It was an expression that the alien rarely wore, and it caused a chip in the Earth girl's usually inpenatrable heart. She gave a soft chuckle. "Zim, I'm not going anywhere. You're not just my partner, you're my friend. So, I kinda owe you my loyalty. If I don't show up with you, your Tallest will think you don't have a partner, and then they'll just kill you anyway, right? I need to come with you so I can _save_ you."

It was the shocking truth. She no longer really cared if she got to destroy the world or not. She had a friend in Zim, and he offered her a whole new world to learn about, and a new crazy adventure every day. She cared about him...a lot, actually. She would do whatever she could to keep him out of trouble. She'd stay with him not only to save his life...but because she wanted to.

"Besides, it's not safe for me right now anyway," Gaz said. "Vixen is looking for me. I'm in just as much trouble as you."

A smile instantly spread across the alien's green face. "Of course...good! We shall depart immediately!" He quickly grabbed her hand and threw her in the toilet. He then quickly pulled the chain and she was instantly flushed down into the underground base.

Gaz soared through the pipes before landing with an 'oof' on the floor. Although a little dazed, she quickly moved out of the way before the Irken could land. "Come! To the Voot!" He grabbed her hand again and led her towards his small ship. "We'll go by Voot Jetstream, so it should only take us one day to reach my planet."

"Wait!" Gaz said, pulling back before Zim could place her in the Voot. "So, like, are we NEVER coming back to Earth?"

"Possibly," Zim said hastily. He then paused and widened his eyes. "Oh...don't worry! We have plenty of video games up there, and I'll see if I can find a way to make you some pizza." He frowned as her face continued to look hesitant. "Is...that what's bothering you?"

Sure it was, but there was something else that bothered her too. Her mind couldn't help but flash to a certain sibling she would be leaving behind for good...She quickly shook her head to erase any lingering thoughts of him. "Uh, yeah. Let's go now."

Giving her a warm smile, Zim grabbed her hand and led her into the Voot. "You're going to love it on Irk, Gaz. Zim will make sure you do."

"ROAD TRIP!" GIR called as he hopped in the Voot.

"Hang on!" Zim said as he started the engines.

Gaz held onto her seat as the Voot rose, rose until it departed from the roof of the house. Gaz cautiously looked out the window to see the mob of humans banging on the front door screaming, "KILL THE BEAST! KILL THE BEAST!" The idiots hadn't even realized they left via roof.

"TIme to erase the evidence!"

Gaz quickly turned her head towards the alien. "What?"

Zim hit a button on his contol panal. _"The base will now self-desruct."_

 _"_ Oh wow," Gaz muttered before looking out the window again. Sure enough, in a few seconds the base and blown up in a ball of fire. This caused the mob to scream in...horror or joy, she wasn't quiet sure. She took a moment to inhale. Oh yeah, it was horror.

Beside her, GIR began to sniff. "Good-bye old friend!"

"GAZ!" Zim called to his human friend, finally drawing her attention from the window. "Put this on. Not only will it help you blend in with my people, but it'll give you the ability to breath on it too."

Gaz grabbed the clothes in his claws and unfolded them. It was a silver Irken suit, complete with gloves and boots. "This'll help me breath?"

"There's some wires in the back where a PAK would usuallybe. Attach them to the thin head phones here, and it'll provide you with your Earthling oxygen."

Gaz raised an eyebrow before doing as she was told. "I'm going to look like a freak, aren't I?"

Zim gave a small chuckle. "Now you know how I felt for the past four years."

* * *

Dib shook his head as he finally came to. "What...what happned?" He straightened out his glasses before looking around at his surroundings. He was still on Vixen's ship. Something obnoxious had knocked him out. But...where was Zim?

Groaning, he got back on his feet and lazily looked out the window. His eyes widened as he saw Zim's Voot take off into the sky. His heart leapt into his throat as he saw a flash of purple zoom by with the Voot.

"GAZ!" Din cried. He couldn't belive this. She was actually leaving the planet! He instantly felt his heart break. No, he hadn't meant it! He still loved his little sister! He wanted to still be part of her life, no matter how cruel she could be! She couldn't leave! Especially with Zim no less! Sadness turning into fury, the boy quickly ran to the front of the ship in order to find...well, a smaller, less noticable one! He was going to follow the two to wherever it was they were going!

"You're not going to take her from me Zim!" Dib shouted."Not again!"

* * *

**24 hours later**

"Gaz, Gaz! Wake up sleepy human!"

The small girl slowly opened her eyes to see Zim's ruby eyes staring back at her. She stretched in her seat with a small groan. "Are we there yet?"

"As a matter of fact, we are approaching the home base now." He handed her a hankie. "Here. You drooled a bit, you disgusting human."

Gaz glared at him before wiping her mouth. She sat up and straightened herself out."So, we're going to meet the Tallest now, right? It's a good thing they were already expecting us."

Zim nodded. "True, but they hadn't summoned us yet." He paused for a minute. "Then again, they said we had a week, and it's certainly been a week now."

Gaz shrugged. "Whatever." She stood up and straightened out her Irken uniform and hid her thin headphones in her hair. "How do I look?" she asked, although she truly didn't care. She still didn't trust the Tallest, let alone like them.

Zim coughed a little in his claw. "You look decent." He didn't want to tell her that she had blown him away when she first put on her Irken uniform. Sure, he thought she was actually pretty for a human before, but she became something unimaginable when she dressed like the invadershe secretly was.

Gaz shrugged again before taking a look at the Irken Mother Ship. She had to admit...to herself...it was impressive. It was massive in size and had many other Voots going in an out of it. She noticed the giant Irken symbol at the front of the ship. "So wait...your planet is a ship?"

"We do have a home planet out there, we're just all residing here for Impeding Doom 2." He left his pilot seat to approach his human friend. "Are you as excited as I am?"

She gave him a mocking look. "I don't think ANYONE can get as excited as you, Zim," she said.

Zim could only nod in agreement before walking back towards the control panal. He pressed a few buttons and pulled out a little microphone. "Invader Zim signing in. I request an audience with the Tallest."

 _"The Tallest are currently having a meeting with rest of the Irken tribe."_ a voice said back.

"Excellent! I'll be there in just a minute!" Zim quickly placed his claw over the microphone. "I'll just present you to the entire Irken community at once!"

Gaz huffed. "No pressure or anything."

_"Invader Zim, I don't think the Tallest will appreciate-"_

"Zim does not care to hear the end of your sentence!" With that, the Irken cut off the transmission. "Here we go!" Zim called as he rose the Voot into the Mother Ship.

Gaz gave a small smile. "And you're not at all embarrassed to be presenting a human as your partner?"

"Any other human? Yes," he turned to her with a grin. "But not _you._ My people will be blown away when they see you!" _  
_

* * *

"Holy Irk!"

"What IS that?'

"It's disgusting looking!"

"I think it's about to die, look how pale it is!"

"Something purple is trying to eat it's head!"

Gaz growled to herself as they made their war through the wave of Irkens. "6...7...8..."

"Counting to control your temper?" Zim asked, being very experienced in the excercise.

"No, I'm counting how many Irkens are going to lose their lives by the time this is over," she said, once again adjusting her thin head set.

"Just keep your cool. They've never seen a human before, so they'll probably stare at you for awhile."

Gaz nodded. She wasn't upset that these aliens were staring at her, it just kind of...annoyed her. To her, THEY all looked like the freaks. She was also surprised to discover that Zim was really the best looking out of all the Irkens. They all came in different, awkward shapes, and while all of them were taller than Zim, they all looked clunky and strange compared to him. Then again, she didn't know how this planet worked. Maybe Zim was really the strange looking one.

Zim. She really had to take a minute and appreciate what he'd been going through the past four years. Oh, she was used to feeling like the odd one out. She was used to being considered the freaky goth girl. But here...here she was literally an alien. She was the true freak of the planet. Again, it didn't upset her, but it sure did grind on her nerves. And Zim had to put with being gawked at like this for four years? Geez. At least back on Earth, instead of being stared at for her weirdness, Gaz was just avoided.

"What's going on over there?" a voice called out at the front of the crowd.

Gaz's attention instantly snapped towards the source of the voice. Zim smiled and dragged her there...she noticed he had been holding her hand a lot lately.

"My Tallest!" Zim cried. "It is I! Invader Zim! I have returned!" In one swift movement, Zim leapt onto the stage and pulled his small friend along with him. Now the girl finally saw the "all amazing" leaders in person. Well, they were definitely tall (although they also hovered above the ground, so she wondered if that counted), and looked just as they did in the pictures she found on Zim's computer. The one on the left was completely decked in red armor, to match his red eyes, while the one on the right was completely decked in purple armor that matched his eyes. Other than that, they honestly looked like identical twins.

Gaz rubbed her arms as she felt that foreign tingle go through her body. It was the same feeling she got when she saw their pictures almost a week ago. There was something about these two that just wasn't right. They gave her chills, as if they knew something she didn't know. She had no idea where these uncomfortable feelings were coming from...maybe it was because, as much as she loathed to admit it, these two figures actually did look pretty intimidating...

"Zim! What're you doing here?" the one in purple cried.

Oooooohhh...never mind. Nothing with that voice could ever be intimidating. He sounded like an 15-year-old American fashion artist who wanted to prove he was better than everybody else.

"We were just in the middle of explaining why we need to cut paychecks in order for us to buy more red velvet treats," the one in red said.

Oh yeah, the chills were gone now. All was good.

Zim smiled, placed a claw on his chest, and gave a humble bow. "It's an honor to be in your presences again after so long." After a few seconds, he nudged Gaz once he realized she wasn't doing it with him. Gaz shook her head. She was SO not bowing for these losers. But for Zim's sake, she supposed she could try to be...ugh, polite.

"Hey," she said to the Tallest directly. "It's uh...nice to meet you guys in person, Zim has told me a lot about you guys. Apparently you guys are the best Irkens around...good for you. So, uh. if there's anyone you need me to doo-ZIM! I am not bowing to them, no matter how many times you nudge me!"

Red squinted his left eye as he inspected her. "Yeah uh, thanks...so, what are you exactly?"

Before she could answer, Zim quickly cut in. "My Tallest, may I present to you Gaz Membrane! My partner!"He paused while striking a dramatic pose, as if he was expecting a round of applause.

Instead all he got was silence. Oh, except for a snicker here and there.

Now both Tallest had a confused look on their face. "And I repeat: WHAT is it?"

Gaz was about to give him a harsh retort, before Zim but in. "She's a human, my Lord! A very intelligent human!"

Red's eyes widened in shock by this revelation. "WHAT? A HUMAN?"

Purple looked hopelessly confused. "Zim...you mean to tell us you teamed up with a member of the species you're trying to conquer?"

"You never mentioned she was a resident of Earth!" Red growled angrily.

Zim waved his small hands. "Let me explain, my Tallest! Gaz has betrayed her race in order to help me! She can't stand her race, and has agreed to join the Irken army!"

Gaz frowned. "Well gee, when you say it like that..."

"How did she find out you weren't human?" Red asked suspiciously.

Zim gave a nervous laugh and tugged at the collar of his uniform. "Uh...she's so clever she was able to see through me!"

Red then turned to Gaz. "And you miss...Gaz. How did you handle knowing that there was an alien invading your planet?"

 _Not surprised,_ the girl answered in her head. Instead of replying with that, she said, "I was happy. I finally got to meet someone who hated humanity as much as I do."

Red turned back to Zim. "And how do we know we can trust her? What if she's planning on stealing our secrets and feeding them to her human military?"

Gaz shook her head. "They wouldn't be able to figure them out." She took a few steps towards them. "Look, I know we come from two different species. I get why you wouldn't trust me...actually most people on my own planet don't trust me either. But we both have something in common: we enjoy destruction. We enjoy making sure no one crosses us. Just like Irkens, I strike fear into the hearts of those I meet. I punish those who try to do me wrong. Yes, I'm going against my race, because they have done nothing but disappoint and disgust me. So I'm here to make sure they pay. _Or at least I was going to,_ the girl thought to herself. She was probably never even going to go back to Earth again. She really was only here to keep Zim alive.

Both Tallest were quiet for a minute before Purple finally spoke up. "What's that's thing on your head?"

Gaz lightly touched her thin head gear. "It's to help me breath on your planet."

"No, no, I mean that purple thing."

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "My...hair?"

Purple lightly touched it, causing Gaz to have to resist snapping his claw off. "What is it's purpose?"

Gaz shrugged. "No real purpose. Almost all humans have it. It's kind of like your antennas.:

Purple straightened back up and nodded. "I like it. I want some hair! How does one obtain it?"

Gaz felt her dark aura grow. _Didn't this idiot hear a word of what I said a minute ago?_

"Not now, Purple!" Red growled. He then looked down at the small girl. "Weeeelllll...I suppose we can let you join our club. IF you can pass the initiation."

Gaz raised both her eyebrows at this. "'Initiation'? Uh...sure? What do I have to do? Give you some of my blood?"

Red gave her a sly smile. "You could say that." Here he raised his arms to the crowd. "MEMBERS OF THE IRKEN RACE! THIS SMALL FREAK OF NATURE SHALL JOIN OUR HUMBLE HOME...IF SHE CAN PASS THROUGH THE TEST OF HOPING TO SURVIVE!" Here he gave a cheesy smile. "NOW I KNOW NONE OF YOU REMEMBER HAVING TO TAKE THIS TEST TO GET INTO THE IRKEN ARMY, BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE I JUST NOW THOUGHT OF IT! OUR LITTLE HUMAN GAZ WILL FIGHT OUR FIERCEST PET IN ORDER TO PROVE HER WORTH TO THE IRKEN RACE!"

"What?" Gaz hissed to her alien friend.

Zim's eyes widened. "I...was not expecting this."

"WE SHALL NOW OPEN THE ARENA!" Red continued. "FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH WEAK STOMACHES, PLEASE GET KILLED WHEN YOU LEAVE HERE! NOW, PREPARE FOR-Oh sweet Irk! I can't keep this up!" the Tallest said, coughing into his claw. He went to Purple and leaned on him. "This caps lock speech is killing me! Finish up for me!"

Purple took out a remote control from his PAK before saying, "Everyone stand back!" As everyone did, Purple hit a button that revealed an arena hidden underneath the floor and seats for everyone to sit on behind a glass. "Oh yeah! Look who made good use of his free time!"

Gaz now glared at her friend. "Zim!"

"I didn't know they were going to make you fight!" Zim cried.

Gaz sighed and rubbed her eyes in exhaustion. "Alright, whatever. I'll be back in a couple o f minutes."

Zim couldn't help but feel concern for her. "Will you be okay?"

"...You have three seconds to rephrase that sentence."

"You WILL be okay! You are Gaz Membrane after all!" Zim said eagerly.

Gaz gave him a wicked smile. "That's more like it." The crowd gasped as she hopped into the arena. "Let's get this over with."

Purple placed a laurel wreath on his head before yelling, "UNLEASH THE BEAST!"

The crowd quickly hopped into their seats in the safety zone before a huge monster appeared out of the floor. It walked like an ape, had razor sharp teeth, had what looked like the trunk of an elephant, and eyes like an owl's.

"HI PRINCESS!" Purple called.

" **ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!"** the beast bellowed.

Gaz let the darkness in her body flow. "Roar."


	17. AAHHHHHHHHH!

Zim squirmed nervously in the seat he was given. He couldn't believe how...concerned he was. It was a feeling he was certainly not used to. His palms were sweating (which made his rubber gloves very uncomfortable), his legs were kicking back and forth mindlessly, and his teeth were clenching without his knowledge He had never felt such anxiousness for anyone before he met Gaz. Now it seemed like every time the girl's life was threatened, his body would automatically clench up. He mentally sighed. What a sap he was turning into.

"Dont worry Daddy," GIR said as he took a seat next to the green alien. "Mommy is really tough! She'll be able doom that beast."

Zim blinked rapidly, trying to comprehend what just happened. "Wait...are you telling me you actually know what's going on?"

"Of course! I love monster truck shows!" The small bot then raised a hand-made sign that read **GO GAS**! "You got it, Momma!"

Zim took a look at the sign and shook his head. 'Gas' was strong, there was no doubt about that, but she wasnt immortal. She had almost been killed plenty of times. However, she had also saved _him_ from death many times. She was the toughest, most intimidating creature he ever met. She would be okay. He was sure she'd be okay.

_Be okay, Gaz-friend._

* * *

Gaz watched as the huge beast approached her. Boy, was it ugly. What did that purple lover call it? 'Princess?' Wow, these Irkens had a sense of humor.

Her mind suddenly flashed back to when she and Zim stood side by side to face the school bully, Gor. Wow, that felt like ages ago. She recalled how they had both taken turns protecting one another from the bully's attacks. A small smile crept on her face. Heh, even back when they hated each other they still had each other's back. But now, she had to fight this monster alone. Oh, she wasn't scared. She was Gaz Membrane. She knew she could handle this freak, because if she didn't, she would be kicked off the planet. Then Zim wouldn't have a partner.

...Then he would die.

With a determined scowl, Gaz readied herself as the monster pulled itself on its hind legs. It then bellowed an Irk shattering roar, causing many of the home residents to scream in terror. Of course, Gaz wasn't like the rest of them. She didn't so much as blink as her purple hair blew wildly from the monster's screech. Instead, she ducked underneath the beast and came out behind it. She then bared her sharp nails and sank them into the flesh of the beast's rear.

The beast let out a loud roar as it kicked back its right leg and struck the small girl in the face, sending her almost crashing into the wall. She ignored the cries of excitement from the Irkens as she let her purple aura swarm over her. More excitement from the inhabitants.

The beast bared its teeth before grabbing a huge hunk of the floor and flinging it at the small girl.

"No Princess! Not the floor!" Purple cried from the safety of his hovering stage. " Bad Princess, bad!"

Gaz opened her eyes slightly at the flying concrete. Timing it just right, the small girl lept onto the tip of the debris and kicked it square into the beast's face. While it was dazed, the girl silently charged at the beast and threw a flaming fist at it.

The beast, enraged at this point, threw back its meaty arm and the swatted the girl across the room, causing her to actually hit the wall this time. She tried to get back on her feet, but was instantly slammed back down by the beast's fist. Growling, the small girl bared her teeth and bit the fist that was holding her down.

The beast screeched in pain before flinging Gaz in the air. The small girl gave a smirk before gracefully landing on the creature's back. What she didn't expect was the beast flipping itself over and crushing her beneath it.

"Oooh," most of the Irken tribe groaned in mock pity.

Red looked down into the arena. "That it? She gone?"

The beast suddenly roared in pain as it shot up off the girl, who was now bathing in purple flames. The beast snarled at her, giving Gaz the opportunity she wanted. Letting her dark aura flow, the human girl swiftly jumped into the mouth of the beast.

The Irken audience all murmured amongst themselves in confusion. All except the Irken who was partners with the girl-made-dinner. "Gaz! The point was to AVOID the mouth! This isn't one of your Earthly video games, you don't have any more lives!"

A hush fell over the crowd as the beast began to thrash in pain. It gave a soft roar as it suddenly spit out the small girl, who was now holding something sharp. "Got your tooth," the girl said smugly. Sure enough, the small goth had managed to burn a fang from the beast's mouth.

The monster growled before reaching for Gaz with its trunk. The girl jumped and then ran up the trunk of the beast until she met its forehead. Swiftly, she pulled the tooth back and sank it into the monster' s skull.

The crowd gasped as the beast's expression went blank before collapsing to the ground. Before it reached its destination, Gaz used it as a leverage to hop onto the Tallest's stage. As the beast finally met the ground, Gaz gave a satisfying smirk to Red and Purple (the latter looking like he was about to cry) and said, "Invader Gaz, reporting for duty."

With that, the crowd burst into applause and cheers. Everyone cheering for the foreign creature who defeated the beast in such a horrifying way. They all began chanting her name in unison. "Invader Gaz! Invader Gaz! Invader Gaz!"

Gaz couldn't help but allow a small smile to form on her face. She was actually a little...touched. Although they had all mocked her when they first saw her, they now looked a her with admiration and respect. They saw her inner self...her creepy, supernatural aura...and they liked it. The girl sighed as she felt herself slowly warm up to these aliens. Finally, she was among people who LIKED that she was scary and dangerous when angered. She was no freak here, but someone who should be respected. Oh yeah, she could get used to living here.

The young girl jumped slightly as she felt two thin arms wrap around her waist and lift her up in the air. What the-?

"Gaz, you were magnificent! I couldn't believe my eyes! Your creepiness prevailed over a monster ten times your size! It was like, DAAAAAH!"

Gaz turned her head to look down at her giddy, green partner. "You must be really proud, Zim. You're actually hugging me."

Zim's eyes snapped open as he instantly dropped his friend. "N-No! I uh, no! T-That was a...victory lift! Zim does not hug! I mean, we don't-"

Gaz smiled softly at his nervousness. How did this alien go from being teeth-grindingly annoying, to kind of endearing in his own special way? Throwing caution to the wind, she said, "Ah, come here you." She then pulled her green friend into a hug, silently grateful for his words of praise. She knew he was not one to give those out to other people.

Zim froze, once again caught in that awkward position of being hugged. His instincts told him to back away again, but something else inside him told him to embrace this...well, embrace. Taking a deep, dramatic breath, the invader finally wrapped his arms around the girl, enveloping her in a hug. He was hugging her. And sweet Irk, it felt nice. Her warm body pressed against his...her sweet smelling hair against his face...hey, maybe touching humans wasn't so bad! Or at least this human anyway...

"A-HEM!"

The duo broke away as Red cleared his throat in irritation. Gaz, trying to cover for Zim, said, "That's how we humans congratulate each other on Earth."

Red frowned. "Yeah, well Zim is an Irken. And we're on Irk." He was obviously very upset about her winning.

Gaz rolled her eyes. "So, when do I start?"

"You don't!" Red growled.

Gaz returned the frown. "Excuse me?"

"Yes, you won. But that doesn't change the fact that you're a human and-" he was cut off by the crowd giving their loud protests.

"Boooo!"

"She won fair and square!"

"Let her in!"

"Think of the planets she could help us conquer!"

"She's so hot and strong and hot!"

Red's mouth dropped as the crowd turned against his sentence. No Irken had ever dared defy him! He was one of the Tallest! How could they chose the small foreign girl over HIM? He watched as the she gave him a smug smile. "You were saying?"

He growled. The little brat was taunting him! Oh, how he wanted to wipe the smile off her face. Grumbling, he finally muttered, "Go clean up in the East Wing of the ship. Dinner starts in an hour."

The crowd then cheered and applauded as the duo made their way to their rooms. Zim was enjoying every second. "Oh YEAH! Who just destroyed that monster? ZIM'S partner! Zim's! Not yours!"

Gaz turned her head and gave Red another smug smirk. "Bye, my Tallest."

"Oh shut up," Red said as the Irken tribe began to return to their individual stations, Red shot Purple a menacing look. "I could've used a little help back there."

Purple only sniffed. "The Earth girl killed Princess..."

"Purple focus!" Red snapped. "Not only does Zim get to live, but he gets to be known as the hero who brought a powerful alien to join our race!"

Purple nodded sadly. "Our plan backfired big time."

Red sighed. "What sucks is that he's not even the first Irken to go to that planet..."

"What?" Purple cried. He paused for a minute. "Oh right, Invader Fob. Kinda wish we believed him now. He was less obnoxious than Zim."

"Fob was an idiot. That's why we didn't believe him." Red gave a tired sigh. "Let's retire, Purple. I need to dunk some donuts." He began to leave before Purple even answered.

"I agree," Purple said. As he was following his partner, he said, "Hey, did you ever look at that present Fob gave us? You know, from Earth?"

"No, I did not, for Fob was an idiot."

* * *

**Meanwhile, outside the Irken vessel...**

Bing!

"Hey! This is Dib! Dib Membrane! Y'know, that kid you all used to tease and at times, threaten. You all thought I was crazy! You all believed I was simply mad when I accused my classmate Zim-Z-I-M! Write that down- of being an alien. Well, he took off in his little spaceship, and I did the brave thing and followed him. And well, look what I, Dib Membrane, found!" The boy turned the camera towards the Irken vessel, capturing all its glory.

"Do you see NOW?" Dib cried in a high voice. "I was right all along! About everything!There ARE aliens out there! I have a risked my life to get you this information, and I think I at LEAST deserve a parade in my honor. Or a holiday named after me, either one works." Dib then put the camera away as he took a moment to bask in his own glory. He knew he would find out where Zim lived eventually. And it only took him four years! Forget those Vesen (whatever happened to them) he got Zim all by himself! Now to find his sister, and rub his victory in the face of his race! With that thought in mind, the human boy smugly proceeded to make his way towards the vessel.

Completely unaware of the horror he was about to witness.

* * *

"A-And then you were like, 'Invader Gaz reporting for duty'! And then everyone went crazy! It was pure genius!" Zim cried as he literally bounced off the walls in excitement.

Gaz rolled her eyes, despite having a smile on her face. "I know Zim, I was there." She looked around the small room. "How do Irkens clean up anyway?"

Zim shrugged carelessly. "We just change our uniforms."

Gaz looked down at her now filthy Irken uniform. "Huh, too bad I only have the one..."

Zim waved his claw dismissively. "We shall get you more...now that you're part of the IRKEN ARMY!" Zim pumped his small fist in the air. "Gaz, we did it! Not only are you part of my tribe, but they consider you like a godess from another planet!"

Gaz gave a small smile. "It is pretty cool, huh? Did you see the look on the Tallest's faces when the crowd started cheering for me?"

To her surprise, Zim threw back his head and released a loud cackle. "I know! The look of their faces was PRICELESS! They thought you wouldn't be able to handle yourself against that beast, but you DID! Hahahahaha!"

Gaz gave her friend a sly look. "If I didn't know any better Zim, I'd say you were glad I got the better of your leaders."

Zim's laughter instantly stopped in its tracks. He waved his claws back and forth rapidly. "What? No, no! Zim is not saying that! I'm just relieved the Tallest have seen your worth."

Gaz sighed. "Zim, just admit they're jerks."

"I do not wish to hold this argument again, Gaz."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Alright, whatever. So what does Irken food taste like?"

Zim scoffed as he went through a rack of Irken uniforms, trying to see if he could find one in Gaz's size. "Much better than your Earthly food."

"Yeah right," she huffed. She looked around with a curious look on her face. "Speaking of food, I wonder where GIR ran off too?"

"I dunno, but his piggy is in my Voot, so he has to come back for it eventually," Zim said, giving up on his search to find a uniform that could fit the shape of a human.

Gaz simply shrugged before she leaned against the wall and let herself slide to the bottom. "So Zim...I really am going to be living on Irk now, huh?"

Zim nodded. "Yes, as long as you wear that head gear, you will always have enough oxygen to keep you alive. Unlimited air supply. Yes I am just that brilliant."

Gaz gently fingered the said object. "But can we really stay here, Zim? Aren't the Tallest expecting you to take over Earth? I think even they'll notice that when we don't return there."

Zim shrugged carelessly. "Fear not, small friend. I shall come up with an excuse as to why we need to stay on Irk for awhile. My Tallest believe everything I say. They have so much trust in me that it blinds them at times."

Gaz gave a disheartened nod. "I see...you know, I'm surprised you're not more upset about leaving Earth. I mean, that's four years down the drain."

Zim shook his head. "Oh, trust me, I'm devastated, not to mention humiliated beyond belief," here a comical grin spread across his face, "buuuuuuuut, I keep getting distracted by the ecstasy I feel when I think about what's in store for us!" He quickly ran over and slid down beside her. "Gaz, think of all the planets you and I shall explore together! With my intelligence and your power, we shall be unstoppable! We will conquer anyone who dares question us! We will be a team! We will be-"

"ZAGR?" Gaz asked, finally finding a use for that strange code she found in her Chinese.

Zim frowned. "'ZAGR'?"

"Zim and Gaz rule," Gaz said simply.

Zim took a moment to ponder this. "I was going to say Gazim, but ZIm decides yours sounds more intimidating!" The little green man put his claws behind his head and leaned against the wall. "All the adventures in store for us...this is going to be...uh..."

"Fun?" Gaz finished for him.

Zim scoffed at this. "'Fun'? Invaders don't have fun! We keep our minds strictly focused on our mission!"

Gaz shrugged. "I had fun with you this past week."

Zim snorted. "Well, you're a human. You do not yet understand how keen and narrow-minded we Irkens-"

"Did you enjoy yourself this past week?" Gaz cut him off.

The Irken game a small shrug. "Well, yeah-"

"Then you had fun," Gaz concluded. "And that doesn't make you less of an invader."

The girl giggled as Zim began to sputter incoherently. "I-doh-wha-since when are you an expert on emotions anyway?"

Gaz gave a soft sigh. "Actually, after meeting you...I realized there are more emotions out there besides anger and content."

"I didn't know I was _capable_ of having the emotions you've shown me," Zim muttered softly. For a period of time, the duo looked away from each other, neither wanting the other to see them blush. Neither could resist sneeking peeks at the other though. Both were fighting through emotions they were far from used to. Both wanting to say _something_ important at this moment, but neither knowing what it was.

Gaz mentally cursed herself. Why was she suddenly becoming so tounge-tied? It was just Zim! Her green, strange friend. Why did she suddenly want to say something really...touching? She wasn't a touchy person. Or was she? Hadn't she become a lot more wiser and, dare she say, more open since meeting Zim? Was she even the same girl she was a week ago? These thought ran through her head as she snuck another glance at Zim.

And then another thought hit her. Out of the blue, completely out of nowhere.

Zim was... _attractive._

She never thought the green alien look would be appealing in her eyes, but here she was, ogling the alien beside her. She found herself wanting to touch his emerald green skin, and look harder at his ruby eyes. Inspect the little twigs that were his antennas. Explore what was underneath those black gloves. She felt her mind go hazy as she took in the mysterious beauty that was her friend. She had never felt this way before. Not for one human on her planet. She gulped as she felt her face flush...oh no...she had been staring at him longer than a peek by now! How could-

"Sweet Irk, you are way too beautiful be a human."

The words caught them both off guard. It would appear that Zim's thoughts were not far from her own. She watched as a dark blush consumed her friend's face. She didn't hold it against him. Her face probably looked the same.

The human girl found herself leaning into her green friend. "So...you're saying you find me attractive?"

Zim didn't say anything. He just continued to stare at her, the dark slash dancing across his face.

Neither knew who started it. Neither were planning on doing it. But the next thing either of them knew, their lips were pressed against each other's.

* * *

Dib hummed happily to himself as he drove his ship around the Irken vessel, attempting to find a way in. He was practically jumping in his seat. He knew he would become famous when he showed the film of the massive ship from the inside. Just think of how he would be worshipped if he got some film of the actual aliens! He would be a hero! He would be elected for president! The first fourteen-year-old president! Dib Membrane!

_If you're so confident in yourself, why did you let Zim live?_

Dib shook his head rapidly. "Angel me? Was that you? Do NOT take this from me with your voice of reason! I let him live because he'll be needed for experiments! He's no use to me dead!" The boy sat in silence for a minute. "I just yelled at my conscience...yep, nice to meet you rock bottom. My name is Dib."

He broke out of his musings once he saw a flash of purple through a window at the side of the vessel. He really had to take a moment to thank his sister for having such out-there hair. Grinning to himself, he flew by the window, determined to get her to come home with him. He just wouldn't take no for answer...which of course would lead to him spouting more blood than a fountain does water, but he was in such a good mood, he might be okay with it. He peeked through the window. He was so close to completing his mission...all he needed was to rescue his sis-

-taaaaaaaaaahh?

Dib's brain couldn't make a complete thought. He left eye twitched uncontrollably at the sight before him. He swore some foam was spilling from his mouth. His baby sister...Zim...t-they were...k-k-k...

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Dib roared as he slammed his hands over his eyes to prevent them from bleeding. Of all the horrifying, disgusting things to happen to him! Why, why WHHYYY?

He began to swing his arms wildly, hoping to fight off the nightmare that was now tattooed to his brain. However, he didn't watch where his fists were going and wound up slamming a button on the side of a wall. His eyes widened as he felt the small ship began to shake.

"Oh come oooooooonnnnnnnnnn!" Dib cried as his ship shot through the sky at rapid speed.

* * *

"Hmmm..." Purple hummed as he placed a black piece of rug on his head. He looked at himself in a little hand mirror. "Huh...not as good as the human's, huh Red?"

But Red was not paying attention to his partner. "Did you see the way that human looked at me? Did you see that smug look on her...smug face?"

"Mmm hm," Purple hummed distractedly, trying to adjust the rug.

"Who does that little weasel think she is?" Red growled. "I'll tell you what, she thinks she's better than us! She doesn't think we're god-like or superior at all!"

"Oh, so she saw through us and realized we're just a couple of jerks in power?" Purple asked, still not looking at his partner.

Red gave Purple a dead panned look. "Purp, take it off."

Purple placed his claws over the makeshift wig protectively. "NO!"

"Purple!"

"I like it!"

"Irkens don't have hair!"

"You're just jealous 'cause I'm pretty!"

Growling, Red gave up and turned towards his computer screen. "I wonder what she's doing right now. Probably talking bad about us behind our PAKS!" He began to type furiously into the computer, his eyes fixed hungrily at the screen.

"What are you doing?' Purple asked.

"I'm tapping into the room they're in. I want to see what that human girl is telling Zim!"

Purple rolled his eyes. "Red, by obsessing over her like this, you're letting her win! I mean, she's strong. Shouldn't we be glad she's on our side? I mean-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Red suddenly screamed.

"What?" Purple cried. "What are you freaking out abou-" he paused once he saw what was on the screen. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"OH SWEET IRK!" Red yelled. "THEY'RE EATIING EACH OTHER'S FACES!"

"TURN IT OFF MAN!" Purple wailed. "TURN IT OFF!"

"I CAN'T! I'VE BEEN BLINDED!"

Purple hastily grabbed a chair nearby and flung it at the monitor that showed duo, breaking it instantly. "Oh...oh Irk..." he moaned, taking deep breaths.

Red reached up a weak claw. "Cold, unfeeling robot arm...help me..."

* * *

Gaz had never kissed a boy before. How could she, when she hated everyone on her planet? Plus, dating and boys had never been the first things on her mind. Or the second. Or even third. But now that she was currently experiencing it, she had to say it was a rather enjoyable experience. It made her feel light in the head, as if she couldn't exactly pinpoint what was happening to her. It was what one would call an "out of body experience." It was a new feeling to her, one of many that she had been feeling this past week. She never was one to get close to others, but to be sitting there kissing Zim...

...Kissing Zim...

Holy crap she was kissing Zim!

The small girl instantly shot back with a horrified look on her face, not too surprised to see Zim now had the same look on his face. The duo stared at one another for a moment before...

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" Zim screamed.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Gaz screamed back. This was the loudest her voice had ever been in her life.

"WE...WE JUST-"

"I KNOW WHAT WE JUST DID!"

"WHY DID WE DO THAT?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I'VE NEVER EVEN KISSED A GUY BEFORE!"

"IT'S NOT EVEN SOMETHING WE DO ON MY PLANET!"

"HOLD ON!" Gaz took a deep breath before continuing. "Let's just take a few steps back here..." The girl placed a hand on her heated face. "You said you found me beautiful."

Zim winced at this. "I...w-when I said that...I mean, on Irk it's uh-"

"Zim, it's okay," Gaz saud, raising a tiny hand. "I...actually find you good-looking too."

ZIm was silent.

"Did you mean it when you called me beautiful?" the girl continued.

Zim gulped. This was an incredibly awkward situation for him...but he knew it was for his friend too. That made him feel a little better. "I...yes," he finally said. "Yes...you are...beautiful."

Gaz gave a small smile. "Thanks..."

Zim frowned. "Okay, so we find each other good looking. Is that what triggered the Earthling kiss?" He began to grumble to himself. "How did I even do that without realizing? Kissing is not part of my instincts. I didn't even know what it was a week ago!"

Gaz gave a small shrug. "Did you hate it?"

Zim turned his attention back to her. "What?"

"The kiss...did you hate the experience?"

Zim stared at her for a couple of seconds before saying, "I want to lie to you. I want to say that it was absolutely disgusting, but I have the strangest feeling that you would be able to tell that my response is false. No Gaz...Zim did not hate it."

"Is it anything like the first time you kissed me?"

Zim's eyes widened. "I did WHAT?"

"Remember when we went to rescue GIR from that crazy dog catcher?" Gaz asked. "You kissed me to trigger my wrath. Was it like that?"

Zim frowned as he recalled the experience. He remembered how it took everything he had not to vomit after the repulsive deed. But now...now he felt...light. As if nothing could touch him. It was strange...but what WASN"T strange when it came to this girl? "No...no this is very different."

"Oh."

"My turn to ask a question," Zim said, his voice almost sounding a bit accusing. "Did you enjoy our kiss? Did you find it a good experience?"

Gaz paused, but not for long. "Yeah...yeah, I liked it. A lot. I kinda want to do it again, to be honest."

Another awkward pause fell across the two, neither knowing what to add at this point. Both wishing there was an easy way out of this situation. But how easy could a kiss between a creepy goth human and a crazy alien be?

It was finally Zim that broke the silence. "Gaz?"

"Hmm?" the girl hummed quietly.

"Are we doing the in love?"

Gaz's face couldn't get any redder. She moved her head to her friend couldn't see her. "N-No, we just...I mean, UGH!" She buried her face in her small hands. Zim? In love with Zim? Surely she wasn't! But then what? She kissed him. She wanted to kiss him again. That means she was attracted to him, right? Oh gosh, was she actually admitting she was attracted to an alien? An alien she couldn't stand a week ago? How long had she known Zim? Four years. She had pretty much ignored his existence for four years,and in one week she had gone from that to considering dating him?

"UGH!" Gaz cried again, practically yanking on her hair. She turned to glare at the green man. "How? How did you do this to me? I was all by myself! I was bitter, unapproachable...now here I am wanting to kiss you...be in your arms...have...tender moments with you...how could you get me to want that?"

"Hey! You were the one who insisted we start a friendship!" Zim said, his voice laced with anger. "What about me? At least humans are meant to have these emotions! I am an Irken! We do not wish to hold and kiss and affectionately touch other beings...we are meant to be emotionless soldiers! If I truly care about you as much as I think I do...my PAK may be broken! I may be a broken Irken!"

"Don't think that," Gaz said quickly. "You are not broken. Don't let anything those tall losers say make you think otherwise. You're the best guy I know, and I think that has nothing to do with a malfunctioning PAK." She paused, remembering another thing her friend had said. "How much...do you care about me Zim?"

The alien's eyes widened at her words before he shuffled his boots with a bit of a huff. "I...you are the only being I would risk my life to protect."

Gaz felt her icy heart warm (Oh darn, she had a thing for this guy, she really did) before walking over towards her...oh, she didn't even know anymore. "This is confusing for both of us Zim...we're not used to feeling positive emotions, especially not for other people. But if we can get each other to feel these...mushy feelings, then there must something special between us. Whether it's attraction or...something more, I'm not sure. All I know is that I do care about you...a lot. You are the only being in this universe I will ever say that too. I will never feel for anyone like I do for you. You are...my important person."

Zim tilted his head. "'Important person'?"

"That's all I know for now," Gaz said simply. "We...we can talk about it more tonight. Who knows? Maybe we can really turn out as something..more than friends."

Zim's eyes widened. "You mean...love pigs?"

"Uuh...sure."

Zim shook his head in bewilderment. Here he was, an Irken invader actually considering doing an Earthly relationship with his Earth friend. He wanted to say no way. Irken soldiers did nothing of the sort. He had no business doing something so...not Irken. But sweet Irk...he wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to be closer to her. He wanted to keep holding her small hand. He liked being her important person.

Having Gaz as his love pig meant (according to Earth customs) that she would be by his side at all times and prize him over all other men. No matter how many ways he looked at it, he couldn't find a downside to having a relationship. He would stay with Gaz and no one could get as close to her as he could. That sounded good.

Yeah, being Gaz's love pig sounded good.

* * *

"Sooo uh, tell me what happened exactly."

Purple leaned back on his sofa and draped an arm dramatically over his head. "Oh...it started about...five minutes ago. Now, I've never liked Zim. No sane person would. But to see him do something so...I just can't..." Purple covered his eyes. "Tell me the truth, will I ever be able to eat like I used too?"

"Purple! Get over here and help me figure this out!" Red snapped from across the room.

"In a minute!" Purple yelled back. "I'm with my shrink!" He looked down at the small Irken taking notes and chuckled. "It's funny because you're so short."

"Purple, this is serious!" Red raged. "One battle and our entire planet respects her! Zim is allowing her to eat his face! And what's worse, is that she doesn't woship us!"

"So what 's your point?" his partner asked.

"What if this is just the beginning? What if our people turn against us and start seeing _her_ as their supreme leader? What if the Irken council decide to make her the next Tallest?" Red panicked.

"C'mon," Purple snickered while using his shrink as an armrest. "You know the council has a strict rule about aliens becoming the supreme Tallest. Plus, she's really small. Even smaller than Zim!"

Red bitterly massaged his temples. "The point is that girl will not fall under our control. She will do things her own way and never give us a second glance!"

"So?" Purple asked nonchalantly.

Red zoomed to his partner and leaned into his face. "SO...I will not have an invader who doesn't worship the ground I float on!" he said through clenched teeth.

"Relax," Purple said. He honestly was more traumatized by the face eating then the human's behavior. "At least we still have Zim to push around."

Red nodded. "Yes, but for how long? He seems pretty attached to that human girl...did you see the way he wrapped his arms around her? And now this face feast? Why is he performing what can only be Earthly rituals? She obviously has a tight hold on him. If she can control Zim, probably our most loyal soldier, then what can she do to the rest of our race?"

A thoughtful look came across Purple's face. "I dunno..."

Red angrily snatched off his partner's wig. "And let's not even begin on what she can do to you!" In a fit of fury, Red zoomed back to his computer. "Stupid Fob...why'd he have to tell us about that stupid planet? Why'd I have to put that sticky note on map?" He furiously began typing into the computer.

Purple finally got up from the couch. "Woah Red, calm down Red. There's no need to-"

"Where's that stupid gift of his?" Red growled as he ignored his partner. "It had better be a device to kill those things, or information on the dark fire that shoots from their bodies, or..." He let his words drift off as a tube began to descend from the ceiling. Attached to it was a sticker that read, **"2 mi TallEst."** As mentioned before, Fob was an idiot.

Both Tallest gazed at the contents of the tube with wide eyes. "Say Red," Purple finally said. "doesn't that look an awful lot like-"

"Yes Purple, yes it does," Red said, nodding his head slowly.

"So what does this mean?"

After a short pause, a sinister smile slowly spread over the Red Tallest's face. "It means...we have a welcoming present for our dear Invader Gaz!"


	18. Up And Down The Hallway

_"Son, my devices are not meant to feed your young, crazy fantasies."_

Dib groaned before looking down at his communicator again. "Dad, this isn't a fantasy! I'm really in space!" He hushed his voice as he hid behind a wall. Two Irkens passed by, oblivious to his presence. "I'm on an alien vessel," Dib whispered, trying to show his Dad his space suit through the tiny screen.

 _"Where on Earth did you get that?"_ Membrane asked.

"Not on Earth, from the Vesen's Voot I stole. There was one in the back. How lucky am I?" Dib asked with a smile.

_"Diiiiiiib, haven't I ever taught you that stealing is wrong?"_

"Dad, we have bigger issues here! I'm going to take out this ship and I need your help! It's the only way to save Gaz!"

_"And what's wrong with her again?"_

"She's been kidnapped by Zim! He manipulated her into trusting him, and then he took her to his planet-or ship or whatever- and then he brainwashed her into kissing him!"

_"Wow, I'm surprised your sister agreed to go along with your little game, let alone to be the damsel in distress. "_

"Dad, are you even listening to me? Your daughter made out with an alien!"

" _Ho, ho, ho! Dib, your sister doesn't 'make out'. She must have been trying to bite him."_

Dib rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just go to my desk, get the DNA I have taped under my bed. go to the DNA changer thing-"

_"You mean The Change of Life?"_

"Fine, The Change of Life. Put an animal, I don't care what kind, inside. Then use the DNA and send the creature to me."

_"Now how on Earth am I supposed to do that if you're in space?"_

Dib bit his lower lip. He hadn't thought of that. "Uh..."

" _I'm just kidding, son! Your father is a genius! I'll figure it out. Just send to me your communicator number and I'll do the rest."_

Dib typed in the number and said, "Thanks Dad."

_"Lucky you had that thing on you, huh son?"_

Dib scoffed. "Dad, I never leave home without my communicator. That would be like leaving one of my kids at home!"

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"..._ I'm hanging up now," Dib mumbled before signing off. He jumped as he heard thunderous cheers come from a room across the hall. Curious, the boy tip toed down the hall and pressed himself against the wall by the entrance. He looked up at the sign above the room, but was unable to tell what it read due to it being...alienese. He quietly peeked into the room to see what the ruckus was about.

Inside was a swarm of those green freaks cheering and clapping for...his sister?

* * *

"ONE! MORE! ONE! MORE! ONE! MORE!"

"Gaz, stop! You must need a drink!" Zim cried as he watched his friend stuff another _finipe X_ in her mouth. They were very common fruits on Irk, but they were dangerously spicy. Many times worse than any chilli pepper or salsa back on Earth, Zim had explained to his friend once they entered the cafeteria. It was impossible to have one without a drink nearby. Gaz, being who she was, accepted the challenge and was now on her 16th f _inipe X,_ without a single drop of a beverage.

"Just feed me another fruit, green one," Gaz demanded, holding out her small hand for another.

Zim winced before handing his friend another one. He didn't understand how she was doing this! He himself, the amazing Zim, couldn't have HALF of one of those things without something to wash it down! He was afraid she was going to keel over at any minute. But on the plus side, if she hadn't been popular before, she was certainly, as Earthling's say it, the Queen Bee now!

"You're mad, woman! MAAAAAD...I like that," Zim said in a husky voice.

The small girl gave him a subtle wink before tossing the fruit in her mouth.

The crowd let out another roar of applause. All were mesmerized by such a pain resistant alien.

Zim sent his friend a small smirk. "Watch this." He turned to the crowd. "Well everyone, that was fun, but Zim's partner needs her scary sleep, so she's going to have to leave you all here now."

The green man smiled as the crowd began to protest. "No human! You can't go yet!" one Irken shouted.

"Surely you can go further!" a female Irken wailed.

"You can't go to bed without your drink! You must need one eventually!" another shouted.

"C'mon, show us what you can do!" the crowd cheered in agreement with the one who spoke.

Gaz scoffed. "Easy crowd." These Irkens sure were easy to walk on...still, it felt nice being wanted by her peers for a change. "Alright, I can do another ten more."

The crowd again cheered in excitement.

"A-HEM!" The crowd turned to see that their Tallest had appeared on a platform that had risen from the cafeteria floor. Red had a very displeased look on his face while Purple looked like he was trying to hide a smile. "I see that you're all celebrating and throwing your praise...at someone who is NOT us. How nice," Red said through gritted teeth.

Zim bowed his head and clenched his right fist on his chest. "My Tallest! What an honor to have you join us lesser amazing Irkens here!"

Gaz rolled her eyes before sending Red a coy smile. "Yes Dear Tallest, won't you join us peasants? It really would be _such_ an honor," she said in a mocking tone. Gaz was perfectly aware of the silent battle between her and the Red leader. Neither wanted the other to think they were more superior. Red knew she had no respect for him, and Gaz knew he didn't want her around. Both were determined to make the other feel inferior. And Gaz sure felt like she was winning.

Red sent her a fake, pleasant smile. "No thank you, Invader Gaz. I just ate."

Gaz stuck out her bottom lip in a mocking pout. "Aw, but you look so skinny. Come shove some of these yummy fruits down your throat."

Red chuckled. "How kind of you. Would you peel it for me?"

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "No, but I would be more than happy to shove it down your throat for you."

Red sneered and opened his mouth to retort before Zim said, "Zim will peel it for you, my Lord. Though I must admit, I don't know how it'll taste without its outer skin." It was apparent that the small man hadn't caught on to tension between his leader and friend.

"Actually," Purple but in. "We have a uh...gift for you, Invader Gaz."

Red's mood instantly brightened. "Oh, oh yes! Almost forgot why we came here."

Gaz made a rude noise. "'A gift'? For lil' ol' me?"

Zim's jaw dropped. "A GIFT? Gaz! Surely you must be bursting with honor...that you feel!" The crowd of Irkens nodded in agreement.

Red waved a claw. "Oh, it's just a little something that we've kept stored away for a couple of years. Consider it not just a gift from us, but from the Irken population in general."

"Especially Zim!" Purple quickly added.

Red nodded. "Yes, this is a gift from him too."

Gaz looked over at her friend."You got me a gift? When?"

Zim frowned. He didn't remember planning a gift or surprise with his Tallest...but he liked being responsible for making Gaz happy (even if it wasn't true) so he said, "Uh...s-sometime on the Voot."

Gaz shrugged at this. "Alright, let's see it."

Red snickered to himself before pressing a few buttons on his arm plate. "Here we go." In another instant, a huge tube began to descend from the ceiling, causing the swarm of Irkens to grin in excitement. Red gave a wicked smile as the tube landed beside him for everyone to see. "BOHOLD!" Red announced. "AN ADULT HUMAN SPECIMAN!"

"Oooooh!" the Irkens said in unison. They were all fascinated to see another of the mysterious human creatures. They all watched in wonder as it floated lifelessly in the liquid-filled tube. It obviously wouldn't perform any miracles like their new human invader, but it was certainly fascinating to look at.

However, Gaz had a much different reaction.

"WHAT?" she screamed in horror. Her heart raced as she took in the purple hair floating around the pale skin that was wrinkled from overexposure to the liquid in the tank. And the face...it was the face that was displayed on the nightstand by her bed. All those years thinking about her...all those years wondering exactly what happened to her...and now...she was here...she was...

"MOM!" Gaz screamed as she ran up to the tube. She breathed heavily as she placed her small hands on the glass that separated her from her mother. "MOM! MOM, OPEN YOUR EYES! IT'S ME, GAZ!"

Red gave her a pretend sympathetic look. "Oh I'm sorry Invader Gaz, I'm afraid this human who you call 'mom' was taken from Earth years ago by one of our invaders. Unfortunatly, she didn't survive teh abduction." Red placed a claw on the glass. "She looks just like you, Gaz. I hope you two didn't have a bond of any sorts." His voice indicated that was exactly what he hoped was going on.

Gaz slowly pressed her head against the glass as she felt tears run down her cheeks. "Mom," she whispered to herself. "You're here...you're here but you can't even talk to me!" This couldn't be happening. Really? THIS was the answer to the mystery of her mother's disappearance? She was taken by aliens? THESE aliens? Here was her mom...the one person who actually loved her...and she was now an art display for an alien race.

"Of course, experiments will need to be performed on your gift, Invader Gaz," Purple interrupted her thoughts. "I hope you don't mind."

Gaz's eyes snapped open as she grabbed the Purple leader's arm and yanked him down until he was eye level with her, causing the Irken group to gasp in horror. " _You...will...not...TOUCH her!"_ Gaz hissed at the Tallest, her dark aura beginning to spill out of her.

"Oooh touchy," Red chuckled while holding his claws behind his back."Invader Gaz, what's wrong? You're shaking, my dear."

Gaz glared hatefully at the smug Irken while Purple straightened himself out. "Yeah Gaz," Purple said. "Please explain to us. We don't understand what your human body signals mean."

Gaz growled as her tears continued to flow. She listened with hatred in her heart as the Irkens began to question her.

"Invader Gaz, what's wrong?"

"Why are your eyes leaking?"

"Don't you like the gift the Tallest got you?"

"Invader Gaz, why won't you let us experiment on her? We want to know what her insides look like!"

 _Idiots,_ Gaz thought nastily to herself as her dark aura grew. _They're all idiots..._ Oh how she wanted to doom them all. They all deserved to die. Treating her..mother...as a lab rat. She wanted to rip them all limb from limb...but she couldn't. With her burning rage came too much sorrow...she could hardly breath, her chest hurt so bad. For some reason, she felt so...batrayed. But why?

Suddenly, her eyes snapped over to Zim, who hadn't said a word since the reveal. He had a horrified look on his face, and his mouth opened and closed as if he was trying to find something to say. Finally his ruby eyes met hers, and she allowed him to take in the hurt and heartbreak etched over her face.

Finally, unable to take in the sight of another alien, she sprinted out the room, ignoring her friend's desperate cries for her to come back.

* * *

Dib somehow found the strength to press himself against the wall as his sister stormed out with Zim following close behind her. He didn't move again for another three minutes. He felt like the was going to vomit. He _wanted_ to vomit.

He clenched his teeth as he felt his hatred for Zim and his entire race reach its peek. He wanted to scream. He wanted to kick the wall. He wanted to beet his fists. But most of all, he just wanted this entire race dead. He wanted _Zim_ to be dead.

Oh, he always knew his mother had been abducted by aliens. Call it a strong hunch if you will. But he had no idea that Zim's race...his mother was floating lifelessly in room right next to him...all because of that alien's heartless people. Dib squeezed his eyes shut as he felt tears begin to spill from his cheeks.

And what's worse is Zim had known. He had said that he had helped with the 'surprise'. Dib felt his blood boil with infuriation. Zim had teased his sister. He said he was going to help find her, and he knew she was dead and on his planet all along! He had manipulated her, used her, betrayed her, and played her as a fool.

Snarling, Dib got to his feet and stared down the hall the duo had ran through. "You're dead, alien." His eyes drifted over towards the right hallway. "Now where do you freaks keep your weapons?"

* * *

"GAZ! Gaz, Gaz, Gaz, Gaz, Gaz, Gaz, GAZ!"

The human girl finally stopped running so the alien could catch up with her. She kept her back facing him, even as she heard him struggle to catch his breath.

"Hah...hah...y'know...I never have to worry about getting out of shape with you Membrane humans," Zim huffed.

Gaz tried to stop the tears from flowing down her face. The last thing she needed was for him to see her in an emotionally wrecked state. _No one_ was allowed to see her this way. Not even him.

Especially not him.

She winced as she felt a claw rest on her shoulder. "Gaz, listen-"

"How long?" Gaz finally spit out.

Zim was confused. "W-What?"

Gaz suddenly snapped her body around, her dark aura crackling around her. "HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW THEY HAD HER?"

Zim winced before waving his claws frantically. "Gaz, you are misunderstanding this situation!"

Gaz cringed as more tears dripped off her cheeks. "You MORON! These are your LEADERS! How could you not know they had my mother dead and trapped like some kind of animal?"

"The Tallest never told us!" Zim tried to reason with her.

But Gaz wasn't listening. She was too blinded by her rage and grief to see Zim had been played just as she had. "So what was all that before, huh? 'She could be alive out there', 'I'll-I'll help you find her', what sick game were you playing?"

Zim bit his lower lip. Here he was, once again feeling an emotion he never felt before: guilt. He felt awful that this had happened to his friend. He was just as stunned as she was to see a human descend from the ceiling. His shock, however, instantly turned to horror when he saw his friend call out to her and refer to her as 'mom'. Seeing these messy things that humans referred to as 'tears' run down his friend's face sent Zim into shock. When she had looked at him, so distraught and broken, he had wanted to kill the source of her pain. What worried him was the source of her pain was his leaders.

Gulping, Zim placed a claw on his friend's shoulder. "Gaz-"

Angrily, the goth swat his claw off her shoulder. "Don't you touch me."

"Gaz, I swear I didn't know!" Zim cried. "I know what I said back there, but you know I'm as honest as a children's story puppet!"

Gaz glared at him. "Then why _did_ you say you knew what they had?"

Zim shrugged. "I liked the idea of having a gift for you. The Tallest called me out! I just went along! Honestly, I thought they were giving you a SIR unit or a sandwich or something!" Seeing that his words were having no effect in healing the girl's emotional wounds, Zim said in a firm tone, "Gaz. It was not my intention to hurt you. I swear on my people-"

"Don't even mention those idiots to me," Gaz hissed.

Zim's eyes widened. Now his concern was turning to anger. "I beg your pardon?"

Gaz glared at the Irken. "You heard me. Didn't you hear them back there? Talking about my mom like she ws some kind frog you find in the science lab?"

Zim was quiet for a minute before shrugging his shoulders."Well, technically to them, that's exactly was she is."

Gaz's eyes widened in shock at his words. Snarling, she turned around, giving Zim her back. "Wow Zim...wow."

Zim frowned at her cold refusal to look at him. "You think your race is any better? I can guarantee you if I was in one of those tanks, your people wouldn't even bother asking another Irken's permission to do experiments, they would get started and be finished by your Earthling dinner time!"

"I know that, that's not the point!" Gaz shouted, turning back around to face him. "The point is your people KILLED. MY. MOM. And those stupid Irkens-"

" _I_ am an Irken, Gaz," Zim harshly reminded her. "You might want to remember that as you dish insults to them."

Gaz scoffed at him. "Oh great, so not only are you crazy and loud, but you're a hypocrite now too."

"Why are you angry with me?" Zim snapped. "I told you I didn't know they had her!"

"I don't believe you, Zim!" Gaz snapped back.

"...Why not?" Zim said, a note of hurt in his voice. They were friends...wasn't trust an igredient in the friendship formula?

Gaz, not having a good enough answer, simply growled and kicked the nearest wall. "Those Tallest...that stupid Red...they planned this...they actually-"

"They obviously didn't know she would have such value to you. They thought you would like the fact she resembles you so much."

Gaz paused. Her right eye twitched a bit. No...surely he hadn't...Spinning around to face Zim again, the human girl grabbed the Irken by the front of the shirt and screamed, "YOU'RE _STILL_ DEFENDING THOSE FREAKS? AFTER WHAT THEY JUST DID TO ME? ZIM THEY DID THIS TO HURT ME!"

"My Tallest respect you!" Zim cried, beyond fed up with this conversation. "They wanted you to feel at home, so they showed-"

"Oh I can't take this!" Gaz cried, releasing him. "Zim, how stupid can you be? Do you honestly think they like me? Or you, for that matter? All they care about is themselves! They already tried to kill me with that monster, and when that didn't work, they decided to hurt me with my mother! Not that you can care, since you've been blinded by foolish adoration! You need to open your eyes Zim, and see the cold, hard truth: They HATE you! They care nothing for you! They're using you as a pawn for their sick enjoyment! I'll bet you're not even really an invader-"

"SILENCE!" Zim screamed, infuriated by the girl's words. "YOU ARE SIMPLY JEALOUS BECAUSE ZIM IS WORSHIPPED ON HIS PLANET WHILE NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY ON YOUR PLANET! DON'T JUMP DOWN MY THROAT BECAUSE EVERYONE HATES YOU BACK ON EARTH! MY TALLEST HAVE THE HIGHEST RESPECT FOR ME, BUT YOU? YOU HAVE **NOTHING!"**

Gaz was stunned for a minute before a monstrous glare appeared on her face. She threw her hand back, ready to strike the Irken across the face. Zim winced and braced for impact.

But the pain never came.

Zim hesitantly opened his eyes to find Gaz lowering her small hand. Her flames had died down, and her tears had stopped. She was back to her cold, emotionless self. The only that gave hint to her outburst a minute ago was the small, sad frown on her face.

Zim blinked. "Uh...Gaz?"

"...I'm going home, Zim," she finally said.

Zim was startled by this."W-What?"

Gaz shook her head slowly. "I...I don't belong here, Zim. Just...just tell your Tallest I had to go cover some work back on Earth. Make them believe we're still... I...I just can't do this alien stuff anymore..."

Zim was silent for the longest time. His face looked like he was having an inner war with himself. Finally he said under his breath, "Fine. You'll find some Voots around that corner."

Gaz winced, hurt that he hadn't even tried to say anything to keep her there. Maybe she really had just been a means to an end all along. She sighed. "Well then, good-bye. Tell GIR that-"

But Zim had already turned and left before she could finish her sentence.

 _So eager to get rid of me, huh?_ Gaz thought bitterly as she felt a new wave of tears form in her eyes. She held them back though, for the sake of her pride. If he wasn't even going to blink at the thought of her leaving, she wasn't going to shed one tear for that selfish alien. As she turned to leave, she kept chanting in her head the words she had chanted all her life.

_I don't need anyone...I can take care of myself...No one deserves my tears...I need no one..._

_..._

_...Zim, how dare you make me care for you as much as I did?_

* * *

_Stupid, stupid, stupid...STUPID EVERYTHING!_ Zim screamed in his head as he marched down the hallway. He had to bite his lip to prevent himself from punching the wall. He was infuriated. Infuriated with Gaz, the Tallest...and even himself.

He didn't want her to go. He had wanted her to stay with his people...with him. But his pride would not allow him to beg for her to stay. He wouldn't beg...he could go back to life without her...it's not like she had become essential to his life or anything...

_Stupid Gaz...how could she not believe me? How dare she say those things about my race! BAH! I should've known she wasn't eligible to be my partner. She's a human, and humans are ALL emotional messes!_

Zim took this moment to stomp his feet repeatedly to push out his anger. It was sad really. He knew how to vent out anger and fury. Stomp your feet, yell, kick a wall, punish your robots. But what was he supposed to do to heal the strange pain in his chest? The pain he only seemed to feel when he couldn't see Gaz.

Zim growled to himself. Why did this have to happen? Everything was going so well! He really liked having her with him...he loved it even. He was happy. She was happy. So why did everything have to fall apart? They were getting along so well!

Zim gently fingered his lips as he recalled what had transpired between them only an hour before. They were getting along very well indeed...

Suddenly all the anger Zim felt towards Gaz disappeared. No longer was she the focus of his hatred and fury. Emotions were her weakness, just as water and grease was to him. Her emotions had been severely damaged and she had become a wreck afterwards. She didn't deserve his anger...no, his anger belonged to the ones who had damaged his human in the first place!

His mind going blank from any thoughts other than confrontation, Zim ran the rest of the way to the cafeteria, where his Tallest were still showing off their prize and answering questions.

Red was the first to notice Zim's presence. "Ah Zim, what are you-"

"WHAT THE IRK WAS THAT?"

The room got quiet as all eyes turne Zim. Everyone watched in shock as the anger from the invader seemed to roll off him in waves. Finally, Purple spoke up, "Uh, what are you-"

"Why did you show her this?" Zim growled as walked over towards the case that held Tif Membrane. "What did you hope to gain?"

Purple put on a pretend apologetic look. "Gosh Zim, we were only trying to surprise her. How were we supposed to know they knew each other?"

"Because they look like CLONES!" Zim growled. Deep down, he knew Gaz had been right. His Tallest had done what they did out of pure spite. "Why did you do this? I know you showed her this to hurt her, but WHY? Why did you want to hurt my partner?"

Purple was about to put on another act, but Red placed a claw on his shoulder. "Okay Zim, you're right. We did this to hurt her. We wanted to break her little Earthling emotions."

Zim snarled. "And WHY did you decide to do that?"

Red simply shrugged. "'Cause we didn't like her." He turned to another invader. "Hey, can you go fetch me some donuts?"

Zim was shocked. "Ju-wha-you-ge, is that all you have to say for yourself?" he stuttered.

Here Red glared. "What do you mean 'say for ourselves'?"

Zim returned the glare with equal fervor. "You need to find a way to make this up to Gaz."

"You are forgetting your place Zim!" Red warned.

"Do you think you can just get away with this?"

"And what are YOU going to do make sure we don't?"

A heavy pause fell between the two. Zim felt himself deflate. His mind was beginning to clear up. Who was he kidding? These were his Tallest. They were evil and manipulative, but they were his leaders. What could he possibly do to even _touch_ them? "Nothing...my Tallest."

Red studied him before giving a smug smile. "That's what I thought." He turned back to the invader he had begun speaking to before. "Now about those donuts..."

Zim sighed as his Tallest turned around, forgetting he was there. What was he supposed to do now? Gaz was going to leave...she was actually going to leave him.

''Daddy..."

Zim turned to see GIR standing behind him with a sad look on his face. "Where on Irk have you been?"

"Daddy...where's Mommy?" the small bot asked, rubbing his eyes.

Zim sighed in defeat. "She's...she's upset GIR." He didn't even bother to correct the SIR unit for calling Gaz his mom.

"Is she gonna leave us?"

Zim paused at this. Now that his mind was no longer clouded by anger, Zim was able to think about what would happen if she left. This girl was his friend...his best friend...maybe she was even more than that. She understood him. She usually didn't agree with him, but she understood him. They both shared similar views of the world, and both had a dark sense of humor that the other could relate to. Added to that, she was loyal to him. Not mindlessly like GIR, but if he needed her, she'd be there for him. She was a true companion in every sense of the word.

A determined look crossed the Irken's face. No way was he letting this girl go. Although she would probably deny it if he said it to her, but she was _his_ Gaz. He cared about her, and he was no longer ashamed by it. Gaz was amazing. Who wouldn't care about her after spending a week with her? She could charm anyone with her frightening personality and lovely looks. Even an awesome, fantastic, unbelievably handsome genius such as himself couldn't resist her! He may be superior to all in every way, but he was still a man.

"Daddy?"

"No GIR," Zim said in a serious tone. "She's not leaving us." With that, he quickly ran down the path he had taken to get to the cafeteria. "Stay here GIR!"

"Daddy, where you going?" the small bot called.

"To get Mommy back!" Zim called over his shoulder.

* * *

Gaz sighed heavily as she sat against the wall. Her Gameslave was in her hands, but she had yet to turn it on. She didn't know why she hadn't gotten on the Voot yet. Or why she kept replaying her fight with Zim over and over again in her head.

 _Just get on the stupid ship and go home! Just forget everything that happened this past week and go home,_ she thought to herself as she gently fingered the controls on her game. It was unbelievable, really. She had her game in her hands, but her mind was stuck on her green companion. How she had actually restrained herself from hitting him. How deeply his words had hurt her.

...Though to be fair, she did kind of start it. She knew Zim had nothing to do with her mother's death, and was it so hard to believe that the Tallest had kept her a secret from Zim? Heck, even the rest of the Irkens sounded shocked at what they saw.

She thought back to how even after what they did, the Tallest were still perfection in Zim's eyes. She should've expected it though. Zim thought his entire race was perfect. They could do no wrong in his eyes. Though it's not like Zim didn't _care_ about what had happened to her. She saw the look of concern on his face. He understood that she was in pain and had wanted to find a way to make it better.

Gaz sighed and brought her legs up to her chest. As much as it killed her to admit it, she had made a mistake. She took her anger out on the wrong Irken. She had been completely unfair to the only friend she ever had. A small smile appeared on her face. Hah. Now she actually cared about being fair.

Gaz stood up and began to make her way through the hallway. She wasn't sure she'd be able to apologize, but she would definitely need to talk to him again. A million thoughts raced through her head. Could she stay here? Knowing that her mother was a test subject now? Knowing that she was a zoo exhibit for these people?

...Yes. If she could be with Zim, she would stomach this horrible race. But they were NOT keeping her mom. She would steal her body away and put it somewhere she could rest in peace.

The girl stopped in her tracks as a bright light shined behind her. She quickly turned her head to see what was the source. Her eyes bulged our of their sockets at what she saw. "You..."

"Ta-daaaaa! I think you and your friend have seriously underestimated my sneaking ability."

Gaz slowly backed away from the crab-like alien. "V-Vixen." Here she growled. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Vixen pulled out a gun and pointed it at the small girl. "Simple. This gun. It doesn't work. My weapons. They don't work. I need your aura to make it work." Vixen glanced at his surroundings. "And I see your little celery-stick isn't here to help you out this time. Pity."

Gaz shook her head in disbelief. "How did you even get here?"

Vixen shrugged his shoulders. "Simple, once I saw you two take off, I had my men send over our mother ship. We boarded it and followed you two. Surprised you didn't see us, really. We then staked out this Irken Vessel until we could catch you alone. Then I beamed down here to come fetch you. Now, here I am."

Gaz frowned. "Seems like a lot of work done in 24 hours."

"You're not the only one who's on the jetstream plan," Vixen said. He extended a claw. "But enough about that, time to get my source."

Gaz flared up her dark aura, ready to rip the creep apart. Her anger almost faltered however, when a dark smile crossed VIxen's face. "Why thank you," he said. "That was just enough dark energy to give my weapon here a little juice." He then pointed the gun at the small girl...

* * *

BAM!

Zim's eyes widened at the teeth-shattering boom at the end of the hallway. _Oh no...I hope Gaz didn't destroy a Voot out of anger!_ The small alien quickly ran the rest of the way to the hallway, hoping to stop Gaz before she caused any more destruction.

When he saw what was at the end, he instantly wished for a thousand broken Voots.

Vixen chuckled darkly as he picked up the unconscience, injured Gaz from the floor, holding her in his left arm like a baby. "Finally...Baby Gaz is coming home..."

Zim's ruby eyes flared up. "Get your filthy hands and claws off of her!"

Vixen's eyes snapped up to the quickly approaching Irken. "Oh no, you...Vivin! Beam me up!" The Vesen leader had just enough time to give Zim a smug smile before he was beamed through the Irken vessel and into his own ship.

Zim, who had leapt at Vixen before he disappeared, crashed into the ground. HIs eyes were now staring at the empty spot where Vixen and Gaz had been. Gaz.

Vixen had taken his Gaz!

Instantly the Irken was back on his feet. "NO!" Zim cried. He began to panic. There was no way to follow the crab-like alien. "DON'T TAKE HER! TAKE HER BROTHER! THERE HAS TO BE SOME POWER SOURCE IN THAT FAT HEAD OF HIS!" The green invader wasn't surprised when he didn't get a response. Zim cried out as he tugged on his antennas. "Sweet Irk...she's gone...what am I going to do?"

"DIEEEEEE!"

ZIm pouted to himself. "Well I don't see how that's going to...wait-"

BAM!

Zim winced as he felt something heavy land on him and something cold pressed against his forehead. He quickly opened his eyes to find...quiet possibly the last person he was expecting to see at the moment.

"Dib?"

Dib gave a wicked laugh as he pressed the laser further into the invader's forehead. "Yesssss Zim, it's me!"

Zim took a moment to process what was going on before glaring at the human. "How on Irk did you get on this vessel? And steal one of our weapons? And get that really cool looking space suit?"

But Dib only laughed maniacally in response. "You gonna die now Zim...you gonna die and I gonna like it...me enjoy this big..."

Now Zim was starting to get uncomfortable. "Um...Dib-human? Are you okay?"

Foam started to form in the boy's mouth. "Nooooo...what makes you say that? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oooookay, you're freaking me out now," Zim murmured.. He gently placed a claw on Dib's shoulder. "Zim is just going to put you on a Voot and take you to a place full of ponies and asteroids. It'll be fun."

Dib angrily swatted Zim's claw away. "You kissed mah sister...and you killed mah momma...YOU NO LONGER LIIIIIVVVVI-"

SMACK!

Dib blinked, stunned from the sudden slap across the face. He blinked four more times before staring down at the alien he was on top of. "...Zim?" he finally said.

Zim gave him a mocking concerned look. "Come back to me, big-headed human."

Dib took a moment process what had happened to him in the past ten minutes. The last thing he remembered was crying over the fate of his mother...and then the next thing he knew, he was sitting on top of Zim with a gun pressed towards his forehead.

...Honestly, not a bad position to wake up to.

"What happened to me?" Dib asked, mostly to himself.

Zim answered anyway. "I think you kind of went crazy...er."

Dib snapped out of his musings and looked down at the Irken. "Zim...you kissed my sister! And you killed my mom!" He got ready to pull the trigger. "YOU NO LONGER LIIII-"

"Oh get off me!" Zim cried as he pushed the human off him. He quickly got to his feet and brushed himself off. "I didn't kill your mother-unit. Someone else from my race did."

Dib growled. "You-"

"And I didn't know!" Zim cut him off.

"You hurt her Zim...you made her cry!" Dib snarled.

Much to the boy's surprise, Zim's face fell in what could only be described as defeat. "Yes...I know."

Dib was confused. He had expected Zim to be proud of himself, to gloat for tricking Gaz into thinking she had a friend. But instead, he actually looked...sad? "What-"

"But we have more important issues right now!" Zim cut him off. "Those things that YOU teamed up with just came in here and took her!"

Dib blinked. "Who, Gaz?"

"No, Ms. Bitters. YES GAZ YOU IDIOT!"

DIb scratched under his chin. "Yeah, now I remember. That Vixen guy tried to hurt her...so he came in here and took her?" he said. "You know that's two intruders in one night, right? You guys need to up the security in here."

"DIB-HUMAN!" Zim shouted. "Focus! Your sister was taken by that mutant crab-thing!"

"Was she taken..."Dib muttered to himself. He then sneered at the alien and pointed an accusing finger at him. "Or did YOU hand her over?"

"Oh for the love of-" Zim marched over to Dib and leaned in close to his face. "Listen, I'm evil, you know that. I still want to take over your planet. I still hate all humans. If we are ever being chased by zombies hungry for our flesh, you bet your Earthling rear I will trip you!" Here, he sighed. "But...when it comes to your sister...you don't need to worry your giant head. I...don't want to hurt her. Emotionally or physically."

Dib was stunned by this. Zim was actually...trying to put his mind at ease? Who was this guy? Was this part of his evil plan to...to do what actually? Grr, it didn't make any sense! "How do I know you didn't kill my mom? How do I know I can trust you around my sister?"

"Because I'm going to rescue her!" Zim declared. "This is their home base, so I'm going to get my Tallest to send out our best invaders, and we're going to stop those Vesen once and for all!"

Dib shook his head in disbelief. There was no way this was the same alien he had been trying to defeat for the past four years. Here he was, announcing that he was going to get his people to help him defeat the Vesen army. And for no other reason than to save his sister? "You can't be serious."

Zim glared. "You want to know how serious I am? While I'm here thinking up a plan to save Gaz, you're busy going on about how untrustworthy I am. Now, I'm willing to put our rivalry and hatred for one another aside for Gaz's sake. So..." Zim shuddered before continuing. "I want you to come with me. You worked with Vixen for a short time, you must know some of his secrets. If we work...eck...together, and with the aid of my people, we can destroy this race and get your sister-who by the way he's planning on killing-to safety. So...what do you say?"

Dib paused before saying, "I hate it when we have to work together...but, for my sister...I will help you." He extended his hand. "For Gaz?"

Zim stared at the hand before rolling his eyes and reluctantly shaking his hand. "For Gaz." He made his way down the hallway. "Now come, we must report to my Tallest. Sweet Irk! I can't tell you how many times I've went up and down this hallway tonight!"

"Wait!" Dib called. "I still have one more question!"

"Grrr...what?"

"Why do you care what happens to Gaz?" Dib asked.

Zim took a long pause before sighing. "If I tell you, will you just do what I say and stop asking questions?"

"Maybe."

Zim groaned before looking down at his boots, a look of annoyance etched across his face. "I...Gaz...isn't just...my partner okay? She's important...to me."

Dib's eyes widened. "Wait...are you saying you care about her?"

"Sssshhh!" Zim cried, waving his claws. "Do you want the whole Irken army to know?"

Dib shook his head in disbelief. Zim...Zim actually...no, no way. He wasn't capable! "Wait...so when you kissed my sister..."

"It was because I wanted to," Zim said, getting a little enjoyment out of how uncomfortable Dib was getting.

Dib's mouth dropped in horror. "Wait...so...are you and my sister _dating?_ "

Zim blinked. "You mean are we love pigs? No...not yet anyway." Here he frowned a bit. "If she would forgive me for what happened..."

Dib shook his head, now dizzy with the information he had. "Let's...let's just talk to your leaders."

"No fight there," Zim said as they made their way down the hallway. He knew his Tallest didn't like Gaz, but hopefully they had enough respect for him to help out.

Dib turned to Zim. "By the way, I have pics of your vessel I want to show the government when this is over. Just a heads up."

Zim shrugged. "Go ahead. Everybody knows my secret now."

Dib stopped walking. "Wait...what?"

"Oh yeah, when you were knocked out, Vixen kinda blew my secret to everyone. I'm a wanted man on Earth."

"..."

"...Dib-human?"

"I've been trying to expose you for four years. I fall unconscience for a short time, and someone takes over the job for me...and suceeds."

"Pretty much."

**FLOP!**

"Dib **!** Dib-human! Now is not the time to faint in a girly manner! Get up!"


	19. Zim and/vs Dib

**In the Irken control room**

Red gave a contented sigh as he leaned back in his chair, sucking on a straw from a foreign drink. He finished with a satisfying "AH!" and smiled a smug smile. "Purple old friend, things are finally back to the way they're supposed to be. And do you know why?"

Purple shifted uncomfortably in his own chair. "I'm still trying to figure out how we can sit down with our long legs and wardrobe choice."

"It's because we're clever," the Irken leader said. "We're sneaky, evil, sadistic, manipulative, clever leaders."

Purple bit his lower lip. "We did kind of behave like jerks."

Red waved a claw. "Woah, we don't need to go that far. In all honesty, we did nothing wrong. All we did was restore balance to the Irken world, and remind our people of the respect we deserve."

"By making a small girl cry?" Purple said.

Red gave him a look. "Yes. By making a small girl cry."

Purple shrugged and grabbed a nearby donut. "So what are we going to do about her?"

"What do you mean? She's going to leave!" Red said.

"But what if she doesn't?"

Red shook his head. "I'm confused, why would she stay?"

Purple frowned. "The real question is, why did she come in the first place?"

Red rolled his eyes. "She said something about wanting to destroy her planet..."

"And she needed us for that? She took out my Princess!"

Red groaned. "You know what, I don't care! She's gone! I made her despise our race!" Red leaned back in his chair. "Now, if you don't mind, I never want hear that Earth girl's name again..."

**BAM!**

As if on cue, a certain small invader barged into the control room. "GAZ HAS BEEN TAKEN!"

Red groaned in exasperation. "You've got to be kidding me..."

"Zim, what are you talking about?" Purple asked, raising a non-existen eyebrow.

"It's Gaz! She's-" Zim turned his head behind him. "Dib-human! This way!"

"Ssssh! Don't let them know I'm here! We need the element of surprise!"

Red and Purple exchanged looks as Zim groaned. "Why do we need that? We're here to make a request!"

"And if they refuse, I'll spring out and attack!"

" _Attack?_ You can't even fend of the cheerleading squad!"

"Hey, those dance moves are practically martial arts!"

"Um...Zim?" Red said slowly. "You've got something you want to show us?"

"Shhh!" a voice said. "We can still make this work if-"

Zim pulled the human into the room by the collar of his jacket. Dib frowned and shrugged. "Or not!"

Red and Purple both jerked back in their seats. "Oh no, not another human!" Red wailed.

"Zim, I thought it went without saying that you're not supposed to bring home the inhabitants of the planet you're trying to conquer!" Purple cried.

Red pointed a finger at Dib. "I don't think I've ever seen anything as ugly as this thing before!"

Dib gave him a long, hard look. "You...You know you've seen me before right?"

Red cocked his head to the side. "What?"

Dib pointed at Zim. "Through his computer? I even talked to you guys!"

The two Tallest gave a long pause. Finally Purple said, "Nope."

"Yeah no, you don't ring any bells," Red agreed.

Dib gave an offended look before shaking his head. "I hate aliens. I really do. Mm hm."

Red shook his head. "Anyway, why is he here?"

"Don't worry about him. We need to talk about-"

"You freaks killed my mother!" Dib interrupted. He pointed a finger at the leaders. "You two don't deserve to live!"

Red frowned. "When did we do this?" he whispered to his partner.

"What's a mother?" Purple whispered back.

"Okay!" Zim exclaimed, throwing his claws up. "It's a sad day when there's a group full of people, and I'm the only one not concerned with my own problems!"

Red waved a claw. "Yeah, before we get to whatever it is t hat's bothering you, can we get rid of this human? Like, with something that can hurt him?"

"No...maybe later. Right now, we need to get some of our best invaders in their Voots STAT!" Zim cried.

"I'm in!" a random Irken said, who had been previously typing on a computer nearby. "I'll go get my uniform!"

Zim rolled his eyes. "Hed! Not you! There's a reason you work on computers for a living! YOU SUCK AT LIVING!"

Hed lowered his head. "Aw..."

"And why do we need to gather our men?" Red asked.

Zim turned to him. "There's a strange race called the Vesen. They are a prime example as to why humans and crabs should never breed together."

"Tell them about the eyes and the skin!" Dib whispered.

"Yeah, they have these weird red eyes and cold, grey skin-"

"Where are you going with this Zim?" Red asked.

"It's Gaz!" Zim cried. "They snuck onto our ship and took her!"

This got both the Tallest out of their seats and onto their levitating feet. "WHAT?" they cried in unison.

"So you see?" Zim said. "We have to do something!"

"Darn right we have to do something!" Red cried. "This is unbelievable!"

"Hed!" Purple called. "Gather our best men and very few women we have! We need to take these guys out!"

"Make sure they cover every bit of our vessel!" Red added. "Not one inch of our ship should be unguarded! I'll go get the lasers!"

"It's ALWAYS lasers with you," Purple muttered.

"Well, I seriously doubt smoke is going to stop them, Purple."

"We could blind them or something-"

"Uh, my Tallest?" Zim pipped in. "They uh, they're not on the ship anymore."

Both Tallest looked down at him. "Huh?" they said again in unison.

"They're not here anymore. They took Gaz and...left."

"Oh," Red said, with a hint of relief in his voice. He looked over his shoulder. "False alarm, Hed!" Both leaders resumed lounging in their seats, pretending like nothing had just transpired.

Zim's mouth dropped. "Um...my Tallest?"

"Zim, I don't even know these guys and I expected this," Dib said.

Zim ignored him. "My Tallest! Did you not hear me? She is-"

"Did you not hear us before, Zim?" Red asked in a bored tone. "We don't like that girl."

"But I do!" Zim blurted out, surprising everyone in the room, including himself. He hadn't meant to tell his leaders that.

Red's eyes widened at this revelation. "Oooooh, so THAT'S what this has been about, huh?"

Zim gulped. "Uh...what do you mean?"

Red stood up and gave him a reprimanding look, as if he was his father ready to scold him for being disobedient. "You're constantly praising this girl, and are always obsessing over her well-being! Not to mention she's lead you to speak out against your Tallest. I kept thinking that it was because you had a deep admiration for her dark abilities, but now I see that it's more than that: You _care_ for her!"

Zim gave a soft huff. "Well can you blame me? I mean, look at her!"

Both Red and Purple gasped in shock. "And you ADMIT it?" "Red cried. "How dare you admit it?"

Zim blinked. "I'm sorry, was I supposed to deny it?"

"No, we would've seen right through you!" Purple hissed.

"Um..." Zim hummed.

"So let me get this straight," Dib said. "These two nutjobs...are your _leaders?"_

"This is great!" Red cried, ignoring the human. "It all makes sense! You're a defect! That's the only way you could have such pathetic emotions!"

Zim gasped at the Tallest having revealed his deepest fear. "I am not a defect!" Zim cried. "So I like one human, is that a crime?"

"I'm pretty sure it is actually," Purple muttered.

Dib shook his head. "I'm sorry, what's a defect?"

Zim rolled his eyes."As you know, my PAK is my entire life and personality, and my body is just a shell that carries it."

Dib's eyes widened. "WHAT? What makes you think I knew that?"

"Remember when you stole my PAK, then you tried it on and you started to become me?" Zim asked, as if it was common knowledge.

Dib raised an eyebrow. "Uh...when was th is?"

Zim groaned. "Ugh, 'Ten Minutes to Doom', remember?"

"I don't think that episode was ever finished-"

"OKAY!" Red yelled, now reaching the peak of his anger. "A PAK is what an Irken is, and when they have a glitch in their system, that's what makes them a defect."

Dib frowned. "Why? Because he cares about my sister?"

"Irkens don't care about other living beings, " Red told him. "It's not written into our PAKS!"

"What's a sister?" Purple asked.

"I'm NOT a defect!" Zim yelled. "I'm just...different."

"You're BROKEN!" Red grounded. He turned his PAK towards the small Irken. "No wonder you're such a screw-up!"

Zim jerked back a bit, hurt by his leader's words. "Wha...what are you talking about, my Tallest? I'm your top invader! You sent me on a secret mission to-"

"Wow, you never catch on, do you Zim?" Red sneered, turning around to once again face the smaller alien. "Do you honestly think we consider you an invader? Or _anything_ for that matter?"

Zim felt his a lump rise in his throat and sweat begin to drop down his face. "W-W-What do you mean, my Lord? I'm...Of course you do! You wouldn't have sent me to Earth unless-"

"We were trying to get rid of you!" Red cut him off. He waved his claws in the air. "We could never get you to shut up and go away unless we sent you on a stupid mission! Sweet Irk Zim, we didn't even know if there was a planet for you to find!"

"We were hoping you would die in space," Purple confessed.

Zim backed away from the duo he had looked up to for years. He felt like his whole world was crashing down around him. "I...no...this can't be true..."

Red ignored the smaller Irken's pain. "Man, why did you have to find a partner? We had to perfect excuse to kill you off!"

"Yeah, your routine was getting old," Purple said in a bored tone.

Zim's eyes widened. "Wait...routine? What routine?"

Red gave a cruel laugh. "The one good thing about you. Your transmissions were hilarious! Thinking you were actually on a mission? And all those stupid plans you came up with to conquer your planet? We, as well as the rest of our race, loved basking in your stupidity!"

Zim shook his head in horror."You two...you two made a fool out of me?"

Purple shook his head and laughed. "No, no, no, YOU made a fool out of yourself! We just basked!"

"Much basking was done!" Red added.

"No...you...you can't mean that!" Zim cried.

"'Hi, I'm Zim! I'm going to drive Mars into Eaaaaarth'!" Purple sang in a mocking tone.

"'Won't you come to Earth for a visit? I made sandwicheeeees'!" Red added. The two Tallest then threw back their head and howled with laughter.

Zim's whole body began to shake. His mind flashed to everyone who tried to warn him of the real intentions of his leaders. Tak, Van, and most of all, Gaz. Gaz. She had been right all along. She could see the treachery in the Tallest before she even met them. And the glorious him? He had known them for years, and never once did he think they weren't taking him seriously. He thought back to every transmission he had been given in his four years of...of what? His mission? What mission? He had been DUMPED on this Earth? All his efforts and plans...all his transmissions...they had been a waste! They were a joke to his Tallest...HE was a joke to them.

Something snapped inside the irken's mind.

And Dib? Dib surprisingly felt bad for the invader. He knew what it was like to be laughed at and mocked by his race when all he was trying to do was help. He thought back to all of Zim's evil plans that he would fight against. While some of them were rather far-fetched, a lot of them were, he had to admit, pretty clever. And to find out they had all been for nothing? His leaders actually wanted nothing to do with the planet? And now they had the gall to laugh at Zim to his face? It was cruel even for them!

Dib glared and took a step towards the Tallest. "Hey, listen you jer-"

Zim suddenly roared and grabbed the cackling Tallest by their arms and pulled them down to his eye level."SHUT UP YOU OVERGROWN MORONS! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC, DECEITFUL WAYS!"

Both Tallest's eyes widened. "Zim," Red started. "How dare-"

Zim only gripped them tighter, using his metal spider legs to help latch on. "NO! You two are going to listen to ME for once! The best person I've ever met in my very long life is in danger, and WE are going to get some of our best soldiers, and we ARE going to save her! Am I understood?"

Red tried to struggled out of Zim's grip, but to no avail. "And what gives you the right to command the almighty Tallest?"

Zim glared and pulled on the arms he had trapped. "Because I accidentally killed out last Tallest! They were set ablaze during my massacre in Impeding Doom 1." A dark look crossed the Irken's face. "If I did that on accident, imagine what I can do on purpose! And don't even think about banishing or executing me, for both of those things have been tried on me by the Irken council, and guess what? I'm still here! Now, do we have an undserstanding?"

The Irkens occupying the computers looked on in horror at the sight before them. Dib watched on in awe, silently wishing he had the guts to do the same thing with Ms. Bitters.

Basking in their panicked expressions, Zim released the Tallest, causing them to stagger back a bit. Purple rubbed his arm in pain. "Y'know, you guys could've helped out," he huffed to the Irkens in the room.

Red cleared his throat nervously and spread out his arms. "Um, after much talk and discussion and us bossing him around, we have decided to accept Zim's request and save this unworthy Gaz girl."

Dib frowned. "Why are you still trying to act like you're in charge? We all just saw what happened."

Red leaned in close to the boy. "Why are you still here?"

"Okay everyone,. let's get our best soldiers!" Puple announced making his way out the door."We've got a human specimen to save!"

Red rolled his eyes and followed the other Tallest. "Just send out the girls. They're at least expendable."

"Red, ssshhh! You need to stop that!" And with that, both the Tallest were gone, leaving the Irkens inside to call upon the best invaders on the ship.

Dib smiled at Zim. "I have to say, that was really well done Zim! You really stood up to those oversized freaks! I think I'm actually beginning to respect you!"

Zim nodded proudly. "Thanks. Now it's time to save mah lady," he said in a smooth tome as he made his way out the door.

Dib frowned. "Aaaand there it went. Bye respect, nice knowing you."

"BRING BACK BACON!"

Dib jumped at the sound of a familiar, obnoxiosu voice. He spun around to confirm his suspicions. "Zim's robot!"

GIR gave a dumb smile and waved. "Hey wazzup?"

Dib remained silent for a minute. His eyes shifted back and forth as he said, "When...did you...get in here?"

"I waz in dat corner the whole time!" GIR squeaked, pointing begind him.

Dib frowned. "And where have you been for the past hour?"

GIR pondered this for a minute. "Um...I think...well...maybe...it's possible...I mean considering-"

"Oh geez," Dib wailed. He quickly rushed out the door. "Zim! Don't you leave me with him!"

* * *

"My little darling, you may as well stop struggling, These restraints were built especially to withstand your power."

Gaz let out a roar as she tried to free herself from the metal straps holding her down to the cold table. "I swear, when I get out of this, you are so-"

"Doomed?" Vixen finished for her. He gave a cruel chuckle. "Baby Gaz, you know by now that's exactly what I want." He motioned towards a giant laser hovering above her imprisoned form. "Behold. This useful invention will drain you of all the angry, violent energy you have built over the years. With your energy powering our weapons, the Vixen will finally be ready to take over the galaxy!"

"Right. You get my energy, and I shrivel up like a used caccoon," Gaz sneered.

Vixen gave her a long, sympathetic look before he crawled over to her and smiled. "You know I love you, Baby Gaz."

Gaz gave him a look of disgust. "You don't love me, and you know it. You only love the darkness in me."

Vixen chuckled and tapped a long, grey finger on the girl's forehead."Not true. I love the dark, troubled vessel that comes with my Dark Source. It's what makes the energy that much more...delicious."

Gaz was about to retort, but was interrupted by a nearby computer turning on. " _Commander! There's an emergency!"_

"'Emergency'?" Vixen frowned. "What kind of emergency?"

" _An alien tribe that looks like a bunch of turtles are attacking the ship!"_

Vixen snorted. "You call that an emergency? It's just those pesky Irkens." He gave a small frown. "Still, I didn't think a whole army would come. Zim I was expecting, but an army?" He shook his head. "No matter. They shall be dealt with immediatly and painfully."

_"Shall we send out-"_

"Send out whomever you like," Vixen cut the other Vesen off. "It doesn't matter. I'm not leaving Zim in my men's hands any longer. I'll deal with him myself." A sinister look crossed his face. "And this time, Zim shall lose more than an identity."

 _"Be careful Commander!"_ the Vesen warned. " _They're being led by this tiny, shrill woman who won't stop laughing like a mad-lady!"_

Vixen nodded. "I understand." As the computer turned off, he looked down at Gaz, who had a thoughtful look on her face. "Well," he finally said. "It seems your knight in shining armor approaches. I shall go dispose of him now." HIs nose in the air, Vixen made his way towards the door.

Gaz scoffed at his arrogance. "Yeah, good luck out there!"

Vixen stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her with a smug covered face. "Oh, don't think just because I'm leaving that you're out of trouble." With a snap of his wrist, Vixen flipped a switch that caused his pointed machine to send a painful beam though the girl's body, ready to steal every bit of energy she had.

* * *

**Outside the ship**

Dib's eyes widened at the sight of Vesen mother ship ahead of them. "Zim...this is unbelievable!" It almost looked like the upper half of an expensive go-cart. It was a dark shade of grey, and black where it was pointed in the front. "I've never seen a vessel this impressive!"

Zim frowned as he worked the controls to the Voot. "Need I remind you that you just left the GLORIOUS Irken home base?"

Dib shrugged. "Sorry, I think the Vesen may have you beat. This looks like something straight out of a video game."

Zim glared at him. "I will throw you out th is window, watch me do it!" He grumbled to himself as he turned his focus back on the Vesen's ship. "Don't even know why I let you on my Voot."

Dib pouted. "No one else would let me ride with them."

Zim rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Once we blast our way through these pitiful Vesen defenses, we will be able to save Gaz and destroy their not-as-impressive-as-mine home base once and for all!"

Dib frowned. "Wait, wouldn't the most logical course of action be to sneak in?"

"We have an entire army out here, Dib-human! I think at least one Vesen has looked out the window and seen us. Besides, how do you propose we sneak an army in?"

The human boy scratched under his chin. "Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I question whether or not we really needed an army. Can't we just use our stealth to save Gaz?"

Zim shook his head. "No. We need to take out the entire base! The Vesens must be put away once and for all!"

"I'm not saying we shouldn't destroy them!" Dib said. "I'm just saying we could do it subtly!"

Zim glared at him. "Are you saying that my race isn't strong enough to take out the Vesen?"

Dib gave him a mocking look. "Probably not. Did you see those guys? They're huge! And they're smart!"

"I WISH I WAS HUGE!" GIR cried from in between them.

"Ow! Small robot, do you have to shout everything you say?" Dib groaned. He sighed and leaned back in his seat. "I don't think this Voot is big enough for three people."

"Watch what you say, Dib-human. GIR isn't the first one on the list of expendable passengers," Zim warned.

All three heads turned to the control panel as a voice emanated from one of the speakers. _"Zim Sir, we are approaching the enemies' main base. What are your commands?"_

Zim grabbed the thin microphone attached to the board and pointed it towards himself. "Open fire. We're taking this base down!"

_"Yes Sir, we shall-"_

"No!" Dib cried, and pulled the microphone towards himself. "Don't shoot, we're sneaking in!"

_"Uh..."_

Zim growled and pointed the mic back at him. "What are you doing, human boy? I am in command here!"

Dib glared and returned the mic back to his side. "Look, I want to kill these guys just as much as you do, but we need to focus on Gaz! If we blow this th ing out of the sky, Gaz will be blown with it!"

The mic was turned as each boy defended their decision. "You're even crazier than I thought if you think I'm going to risk MY FRIEND getting hurt in any way. My men know she is to remained unharmed."

Dib glared. "They don't know where MY SISTER is! We need to sneak in , get her out, and then we can blow everything up once she's safe!"

"They probably already know we're here!" Zim shot back. "We can't sneak an entire army onto this base! We need to kill every Vesen in sight and then go in and save Gaz!"

"Who told you to bring an army?" Dib shot back."Why do you aliens think the violent way is always the best way?"

"Oh, that's rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me for four years!"

"I never tried to kill you, I was trying to thwart your plans and get proof of your true identity!"

"So that your Earthling scientists could kill me."

"And by the way, most of my tactics were stealth based!"

"Yeah, and how did that go for you?"

 _"Uh, sir?"_ the voice called. _"We need a command."_

"ATTACK!"

"SNEAK IN!"

The two boys exchanged a look before they both dived for the microphone. They began to struggle with it, each trying to gain power over it. "We're...attacking...NOW!" Zim said through gritted teeth as he struggled to pull the mic towards himself.

"No...we're...NOT!" Dib groaned, also struggling to get the mic pointed at himself.

Now, while this was going on, little GIR turned his attention towards the dashboard. In the center of all the controls was a big, red button. It was a pretty red button. GIR liked pretty red buttons. He wanted the pretty red button. But should he take it?

A puff of smoke appeared and a tiny version of himself in a devil get-up landed on his right shoulder. "TACOS!"

Another puff of smoke appeared and a mini GIR in an angel get-up appeared. "PIGGIES!"

Well, that settled that.

Throwing back his arm, little GIR cried, "I LIKE BIG BUTTONS AND I CANNOT LIE!" He then slammed on the button with all his might.

Zim and Dib stopped their quarrel as the Voot began to shake. Zim quickly pushed Dib away from him and rushed to the controls. "GIR! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

GIR only smiled. "Mwaha."

Both Zim and Dib lurched off their feet as the Voot suddenly charged forward at sky-scraping speed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" the boys cried in unison. Dib quickly grabbed onto Zim for support. "Oh no, we're going to die! In space! No one could ever find my body in spaaaaaaaac-"

**CRASH!**

**BOOM!**

The duo slowly opened their eyes after the harsh impact. The Voot had smashed against the roof of the Vesen base. The Voot was now wrecked, but luckily there was enough room for the the three to squeeze out of. Zim looked on in horror at the state of his beloved Voot. He covered his mouth and sank to his knees. "Nooo...no, no, not my Voot! Noooooo...why? Oh why sweet merciful claw...I hate it when this happens," he sobbed.

Dib winced a bit and hesitantly tapped the alien on the shoulder. "Uh...Zim?"

Zim's mood took a dramatic turn as he turned his head to give the human a deadpan look. "You know, none of the Earthlings would have bothered looking for your body."

Dib shook his head. "Wow, not even the loss of your Voot will-"

"Ooooooh!" GIR cried as he pointed towards the sky.

Zim followed his robot's finger and instantly paled. "Oh no! No, no, no, no! That wasn't a comma-"

Like a meteor shower you would find on Earth, Irken Voots came crashing into the Vesen base, causing enough damage to make dents, but certainly not enough to seriously damage and break the outer parts of the base.

Dib groaned and face-palmed. "What the heck was that button even for?"

"In case I need to shoot my Voot forward in neck-breaking speed," Zim said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He pulled out a laser from his PAK an aimed it under his feet. "Come, I'm going to cut us a way in. We have to be quick."

Dib pointed towards a burning Voot. "Your army blowing themselves into the sides of the ship didn't break this metal. What makes you think your laser can do anything?"

Zim tapped his lower lip. "You have a point. I need something...more thick to break this armor." Swiftly, he grabbed Dib by the collar of his jacket and began slamming his giant, helmet covered head against the roof.

**WAM!**

**WAM!**

**WAM!**

"Shoot! Didn't work," Zim huffed as he threw the dizzy boy aside. "Maybe we need something even bigger..."

Dib shook his head, trying to shake the stars floating around his vision. Getting back to his feet, Dib gritted his teeth and reached out his arms to strangle the green alien.

"Hey look!" Zim's cry snapped Dib out of his murderous thoughts. The trio watched as a giant opening appeared in the center of the roof and a swarm of Vesen Voots poured out into the sky, firing lasers left and right.

Dib gulped. "Well, so much for sneaking in!"

"There's our entrance!" Zim cried, pointing towards the opening. He quickly ran over and jumped inside. "Hurry before it closes!"

"Hey! You;re still not in charge!" The human boy stood rooted in his spot until he saw the opening begin to close. He groaned and began running towards it shouting, "Any aliens who survived their crash follow me!"

"Follow Uncle Dib!" GIIR sang as he followed the human.

* * *

Vixen marched down the hallway, intent on finding the small Irken who couldn't seem to mind his own business. He would find him, and he would rip him into a million green pieces. Maybe he would do it in front of his Baby Gaz, so she could see any hope to escape her fate be torn apart before her very eyes.

Vixen blinked as he saw the lights flicker on and off throughout the hallway. He looked up at the ceiling as he heard many heavy objects slam into the roof of his ship. So, Zim really did bring an army. And here he thought the boy was stupid enough to attack him on his own.

Oh well, Vixen didn't care how much blood he had to spill, just as long as Zim's blood was amongst them.

* * *

_Red, black, red, black, red, black..._

This was about all Gaz could see at this point. She could no longer see shapes or lines. Only those two colors flashing before her eyes, She felt her heart accelerate and then decelerate at a snail-like pace. When it sped up,, she felt like she had to hold her breath in order to keep it. When it slowed down, she found herself wondering if it was ever going to come back, and greeted it like an old friend when it did.

Her body was beginning to feel cold. She might have been shivering on that icy metal table, but she wasn't sure. Her mind was going delusional by this point. It felt like it was shutting down with the rest of her body.

 _Am I...Am I going to die?_ Gaz thought weakly. _No...I can't die yet...I haven't told Zim that I fell in love with him yet..._

* * *

"Okay everyone, here we are on the Vesen's gaudy, not-so-cool ship. They have many of their ugly, crab people roaming around here, but we outnumber them by far!" Zim announced, his PAK facing the group. "Now, I know we lost a few people, but the Vesen are still no match for us! The soldiers on the left will take the West side of the ship, while the soldiers on the right will take the East side of the ship. Kill any Vesen you see, and make it slow! So, are you ready men? Are you ready to storm through and-ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Zim screeched as he turned around.

Dib shrugged as he looked at the only two Irken soldiers in the room. "Yeah, we lost more than a 'few', Zim."

"I killed your army!" GIR cheered. "Ain'tcha proud?"

Zim glared. "GIR, this is not the time-"

"Actually, GIR did technically kill your 'best men'," Dib said in a quiet tone. "That's...kind of sad."

Zim growled. "No one would be dead if you had just listened to me!" Zim sighed and rubbed his eyes."Okay, first things first: Dib, take off your space suit. You can breath in here. The suit will only slow you down."

"Oh right," Dib muttered as he began lightning his load.

"Okay, now before they realize where we are and come here, we can-"

"Too late. They're here!"

"Wha-"

**POW!**

Zim grunted as he hit the wall hard enough to crack it. His eyes rolled around in his head as a Vesen charged for him. Too dizzy to fight, he was grabbed by his leg and smashed against the floor. "Ack! Dib!"

"Um...right!" Dib said, snapping to attention. He poked the Vesen in the leg. "Hey!"

The Vesen looked down at the human.

Dib cleared his throat. "Let him go. Like now."

The Vesen gave him a long stare before continuing to beat Zim mercilessly against the floor.

Dib pondered for a minute before taking a fighting stance. "Alright, I guess I'll have to go ti-chi on you!" Closing his eyes, he raised his hands above his head and began hopping on one foot. "Hooooooo wah!" He kicked the Vesen in the leg. "Cha cha cha cha cha!" he punched the Vesen repeatedly in the stomach. Dib then threw out his leg and with a mighty "Whoooootwista!", he spin-kicked the Vesen's left arm.

Panting, the small boy slowly opened his eyes to see the damage he had done. "Do you...surrender?" he panted.

The Vesen paused his Zim-bashing to turn around and look at the small boy. "Did you say something?"

Dib groaned in disappointment. Cupping his hands around his mouth he called, "Zim! Why don't you just use your PAK?"

"Hugh?" a dizzy Zim called as he continued to struggle in the grip of the Vesen. "I can't hear you. All my blood is in my brain."

Dib was about to respond, when suddenly a certain small robot crashed into the Vesen that was holding his master captive. While the Vesen was on the ground, GIR jumped on the alien and began beating him in the head repeatedly with his fists, causing actual pain to the alien.

Dib quickly helped Zim to his feet. "Hey, you okay?"

Although still dizzy, the Irken managed to give him a mocking smile. "Ha! My SIR unit defeated the beast that you couldn't! THAT is what's sad." He swung his head around to face the little bot who was now brushing his hands off in satisfaction. "Hey...why did you attack him anyway?"

"Because you were in trouble," GIR said simply.

Zim blinked in confusion. "Um...thank you?"

Dib frowned. "You'd think that more than one Vesen would have found us by now though," he said, scratching his head.

"Ahem."

The duo turned their heads to see a trio of Vesen standing behind them, two of them holding the unconscious, last remaining Irkens.

"Oh, I was wondering why those two weren't helping out," Dib muttered.

The Vesen in the middle, who was covered in scars, gave a wicked grin. "Do you surrender, little boys?"

Dib glared and pointed a finger at the grey alien."You don't scare us! We can take you guys on!"

The Vesen gave him a sympathetic look before putting two fingers to lips and releasing a shrill whistle. Suddenly, a whole herd of Vesen entered the room, all poised and ready for the kill. There had to be like 20 of them now.

Dib's left eye twitched. "Okay, never mind. We're dead."

"Dib, I don't want to hear that kind of talk," a still dizzy Zim said, pointing at the leg of a Vesen. "You listen here you big-headed human, there isn't anything these crab-things can do that we Irkens can't!" He paused. "DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT LOOK!" he screamed at the leg.

Dib rolled his eyes and grabbed the Irken by the shoulders. He then threw back his hand and struck the Irken across the face, hoping to snap him back to his abnormal self. The Irken blinked once, twice, before frowning and punching the human square in the face.

Dib winced in pain as he was knocked off his feet. "OW! Zim! It's me!"

"I know," Zim said coolly.

The scarred Vesen cleared his throat again. "Um, _we're_ the ones who are supposed to be hitting you."

Dib groaned and got back on his feet. "Where's my sister?" he demanded.

"Who?" the scarred Vesen said.

"Your Dark Source. We want her back!" Zim growled.

The scarred Vesen leaned in close towards the Irken. "But that's just it. She's OUR dark source. Once she's drained, we will have the power we need to conquer the universe." The Vesen grinned wickedly. "Tell you what, you can have her corpse once we're done. We won't be needing that."

"Aw, that's so sweet!" GIR said.

Dib's eyes widened. He turned towards his rival and said, "Zim, we don't have time to fight all these Vesen. They could be draining my sister as we speak! She could be dead by the time we get to her!" He scratched under his chin. "We need a plan."

Zim frowned. "You''re right." He then grabbed the boy and lifted him in the air. "Hey Vesen! Kill him!" He then chucked the human boy towards the group of Vesen.

"Woah, waoh, waaaaait!" Dib cried as landed on top of a Vesen's face, causing a ruckus.

"Remember I'm doing this for your sister!" Zim called. He turned to his SIR unit. "GIR, stay and help if you can." He then raced past the Vesen, intent on finding his...love...girl... person.

Zim smiled. _Hang_ _on Gaz. I'm going to find you, and then I'm never_ _going to let you_ _go again!_


	20. The Big Final Battle Thing

Zim raced down the hallway, desperate to get to his human. Sweet Irk, how the dark creature knew how to get him all panicked and flustered. If you had told him a week ago that he would be running through a foreign ship with his squeedily spooch aching with worry, all for the sake of a HUMAN, he would have laughed straight in your face, followed by painfully experimenting on you. Now ...now he couldn't imagine losing this girl. She was special to him.

He took a few deep breaths, trying to relax his mind. He hated that he couldn't seem to calm himself down. All he could think about was his human dying, and that was enough to set him in a panic. He NEVER panicked. He always kept a cool and confident aura with him. But now, all he could think about were the consequences if he was too late.

The ship was huge. What if he didn't find her in time? There had to be over a thousand doors to try. He didn't even know where to begin to look. What if she was dead by the time he found her? He really didn't know what he would do if she died, but he did know something bad would happen to him. He wasn't sure what, but it wasn't good.

He picked up speed when he noticed a door coming up on his left. He just had to quickly search through the rooms until he found what he was looking for. He couldn't afford to waste any time. Gritting his teeth, he slammed open the door and took a peek inside.

In the center of the room sat a giant needle-point laser that was sapping the energy out of a certain, purple-haired human.

Zim broke out into a huge grin. "Sweet! First try! Go me!" He quickly rushed over to the girl and reached for her. He instantly shot his claws back once they touched her wrists. Her dark aura was pulsating around her body, making him unable to touch her. He looked up. "Looks like I have to destroy that thing first."

"Z...Zim..."

The alien's eyes shot down towards girl in shock. "Gaz! Don't worry, I'm going to save you!"

"N-No..."

Zim frowned. "'No'? Look I know you're tough and stuff-"

Gaz coughed. "Zim...run..."

Zim stomped his foot. "Aw come on, Gaz! I don't do the rescuing thing often! Let me-"

"Gothca."

"Eh-"

**BAM!**

Zim grunted as he was suddenly slammed into the nearest wall. He looked up to see a very familiar, very ugly face. "Vixen!" he growled.

Vixen gave him a wicked grin. "Hello my boy."

"Okay, where were you literally just now?" Zim demanded to know.

Vixen pointed towards a corner of the room. "Over there. Once I heard you had brought an army, I decided to come back and wait for you here."

A pause.

"Um, why?" Zim asked.

Vixen chuckled. "Pure strategy, my boy. I knew once you got to this room, you would be by yourself at that point. Why waste my breath? I know in the end it would just be you and me."

Zim gave him a look of disbelief before saying, "That makes absolutely no sense. How could you have known I would be alone?" He waved his claws. "Ok. No, no, let me translate what you just said." He cleared his throat. "'I'm a coward, so I decided to hide in here while my men do all the dirty work'."

Vixen growled. He stood up straight and glared down at the Irken. "You know, while you're flapping your jaw, your little partner is dying behind you."

Zim's eyes widened. He cursed under his breath and returned to examine Gaz's restrains, hoping to find a way to release her.

"Fool," Vixen chuckled, coming up behind Zim.

Zim, thinking he was talking about his previous comment, frowned without turning around. "Hey, you were talking more than I was!"

Vixen nodded. "True, but the difference it," he swung his arm back and once again batted the Irken to the side, "I WANT her to die."

**WHAM!**

Zim groaned as he once again made friends with the nearest wall. He shook his head rapidly to erase the stars floating around his vision. He had to clear his head. He wasn't used to bringing his emotions into a fight. He had to focus on defeating Vixen. His eyes shifted over towards his human. _Just hang on for a little while Gaz..._

He jumped out of the way as Vixen once again tried to sink his fist into the Irken. Zim released his metal spider legs to give him a height leverage. He used this advantage to kick the ugly alien in the face repeatedly. Growling, Vixen grabbed the Irken's legs and batted him against the wall repeatedly.

Zim's eyes rolled around in his head. "Oh hey wall, nice to see you again," he mumbled dizzily. Vixen used his crab claws to clutch around the Irken's neck. He began to tighten his grip, cutting off Zim's air. The Irken struggled, unable to move with his legs being held by the Vesen's other set of arms. He gripped Vixen's claws, hoping to break free. He was quickly losing his ability to breath.

"Are you alright, Irken? You're looking a little...pale," he laughed maliciously.

In pure desperation, Zim shot out his tongue and licked the Vesen all over his face.

"WHAT THE-" he screeched, moving his normal hands to cover his face. His legs free, Zim kicked VIxen square in the throat, causing him to be released immediately. Zim then pulled out his laser from his PAK and began shooting at the demonic alien. However, to his dismay, Vixen managed to swat away each attack with his crab claws then brought his normal hand down and punched Zim square in the face.

The Irken stumbled back, only to be met with yet another punch in the face. However, when Vixen raised his hand again to punch the Irken, Zim ducked and tried to run under his legs. Unfortunately, Vixen was able to pin him down with one of his legs, and began digging into his side with his pointy, craby-like foot.

Zim groaned in pain. He was immobilized once again. He tried to bite at the foot, but it felt like their was a protective shell around it. Zim felt his vision start to go black as Vixen continued to painfully grind his foot into him. He was about to pass out when-

"HYAAAAAAAAHHH!"

All of sudden, VIxen was shoved off of him, allowing him to move again. He sat up. "G-Gaz?" he asked while coughing.

"No! You know I can be useful too!"

Zim turned around. "Dib! You're alive?"

The human boy glared at him. "Yeah, no thanks to you!"

Zim stood up. "Well sorry, but this mission required a sacrifice!"

"Who's sacrifice?" Dib cried. "Certainly not yours!"

Zim frowned. "Hey, I came here to fight Vixen on my own! I spared you from such a fate! What would you rather have happened to you? Would you rather be beaten to a pulp by Vixen, or torn apart and experimented on, effectively benefiting science as know it, by his henchmen?"

Dib shook his head. "It scares me that you're actually serious."

Zim turned his head to see what had pushed Vixen off. It was a giant, ape-like creature with teeth the size of a mammoth's tusks. "And uh...what is that and where did it come from?"

Dib gave a proud smile. "It's BIgfoot! He helped me take care of those guards!"

Zim face-palmed. "Dim-human, you can't just find a random beast and-"

"No really, it's Bigfoot!" Dib assured. "My dad made this invention that can turn one species into another! It's called _The Change of Life._ All you need is their DNA, which thanks to my clever paranormal activity finding, I was able to get some!"

Zim stared at him. "And you never turned this into the government becaaaause...?"

Dib pouted. "They thought it was ape hair." His grin returned. "But I knew of course...cuz you know...awesome."

Zim tried to wrap his head around this as he watched the foot of big wrestle with Vixen. "So how did you get it here?"

"My dad broke down its molecules and transported him through this watch here," he showed his watch, "and sent him over to me!"

Zim gave him a blank stare. "Earthlings can't come up with that kind of science."

"My dad did!" Dib said smugly.

"Well I don't believe that-OH IRK, GAZ!" Zim cried, cursing himself for debating with Dib while the girl was literally dying a few feet away from them. The boys rushed over to her side while Vixen was still trying to ward off the Bigfoot. Zim's eyes widened in horror at the sight of his Gaz. Her skin had become prune-like, and her bones were becoming visible. Her already pale skin somehow managed to brighten to the point where she was starting to look like a skeleton.

Zim felt a lump in his throat. "We have to get her out of this!" He tried to examine her restraints. "I need to figure this out. Tell me when your monster loses his grip on Vixe-"

"He lost it."

"Wha-"

**BAM!**

Zim groaned as he was once again slammed by Vixen's fist. He watched as Dib, the stupid human, attempted to punch Vixen square in the gut. Vixen pushed him aside with very little effort.

"You didn't bring any weapons?" Zim cried.

"I brought Bigfoot!" Dib defended.

Zim rolled his eyes and pulled out his laser. He began zapping at the Vesen, actually managing to give the grey beast a few good burns. Dib struck a confident pose. "Bigfoot! Tackle him!"

The monster cried. "Big! BIg foot!" It then lunged at Vixen, pinning him to the wall. Dib then took this opportunity to climb on the monster's back and used this height opportunity to jab Vixen in they eyes. In frustration, Vixen threw back his leg and kicked the beast in the stomach. Both Bigfoot and Dib fell over.

Zim got on his metal spider legs to give himself a higher shot. Seeing this, Vixen grabbed Dib and chucked him towards the Irken, causing him to crash down. Vixen came rushing over, ready to smash into the Irken again. Luckily, Zim was able to roll out of the way in time. Unluckily, Dib didn't. The human boy wound up taking the blunt of the attack, causing his glasses to crack.

Zim then took this opportunity to hop on top of Vixen and began clawing at his face like a cat. Dib straightened up his glasses the best he could before calling, "Bigfoot! Put him in pain!"

Bigfoot then came charging and began to beat his fists against the alien repeatedly. Left, right, left, right. He left no room for Vixen to strike back. Finally, he body slammed into the Vesen, breaking one of his legs in the process. "AAAHAHHHHHH!" Vixen screamed in pain.

Dib gave a proud smile. "Haha! Well done Bigfoot! We can't lose this fight with yo-"

Vixen used one of his claw hands and stabbed the beast through the stomach.

Dib's eyes widened in horror.

Bigfoot winced in pain.

Dib raised a hand towards the beast.

Bigfoot roared in agony.

Dib shook his head.

Bigfoot collapsed to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dib wailed as he rushed over towards the creature.

Zim ignored this and grinned wickedly."You're mine, Vixen!" Zim pulled out his laser and began shooting Vixen in his remaining working legs. Vixen roared in a mixture of anger and pain. He reached with one of his normal hands and ripped out a huge piece of a nearby threw back his arm, and chucked the piece at Zim, smashing him into the ground.

Zim groaned as he was pinned by the hunk of metal. He watched in horror as Vixen began to hobble towards him. "Uh, Dib-human?" Zim said meekly. "Not that I NEED your help or anything, but I think it would be most beneficial if you MOVED THIS THING OFF ME!"

Dib was on his knees beside the now dead beast. "I can't believe the Bigfoot race will now be extinct. I was going to find him a compatible ape mate so he could repopulate!"

"DIB!" Zim called as he watched the Vesen come closer.

Dib sighed and patted the monster's head. "Next time, I'll GIVE you my belt sander." The boy then rushed towards the Irken and tried to use all his might to move the piece of machinery. "Come on...come on...curse my abnormally weak arms!" Diib wailed.

"Dib-human! Move! He's going to catch you!" Zim told him.

"No! I can get you out before-"

**WHAM!**

"Ugh..." Dib groaned as he felt himself land in the exact same situation as Zim.

"I warned you," Zim said simply.

Vixen chuckled darkly as he trudged towards the duo. "Well, well, you two gave me a good a run. You even managed to break one of my limbs. But this is just a paper cut compared to what I'm going to do to you two."

"Oh man..." Dib moaned.

"So what are you waiting for? Bring it on!" Zim challenged.

Dib gave him a look. "Just in case this wasn't clear before: I hate you."

Vixen grinned wickedly. "Oh, don' t worry. You two shall meet your end soon enough. But first...watch as the last of Baby Gaz's life is drained, and the Vesens become the most powerful beings in the universe!" He pointed towards the machine that was by now glowing with the dark aura, while Gaz's body had practically none at all.

Zim felt his squeedly spooch drop. Out of all the missions he had to fail, it had to be this one? He wasn't used to failing, being Zim and all. But no matter what way he looked at this, there was no way to see it as succeeding. He felt like a pathetic waste of space. A part of him didn't even care if Vixen killed him after this. Why should he get to live when he failed to save Gaz from such a gruesome fate?

"You can't do this!" Dib cried. "Why do you even need those weapons? You guys are already insanely strong!"

"But what is to become of us if we come across a race with better weapons than us? They could wipe us out!" Vixen exclaimed. "With these dark powered weapons and our brawn, there will be no race that can stop the mighty Vesen!" He leered at Zim. "And no crazy Irken," he shifted his look to Dib, "or hopeless human is going to stop me!"

Dib shifted his gaze to the right. "How about...a robot?"

"What?" Vixen asked confusedly.

"I want this!"

Vixen's head snapped to the left after hearing the high pitched voice. And there was GIR, hanging onto the machine like a monkey.

Vixen's eyes widened. "You...get off that!"

"But I want it!" GIR whined.

"Get off of that, or I'll rip you to shreds!" Vixen commanded.

"BUT YOU KNOW I WANT IT!"

Vixen growled and began heading towards GIR. "I'll kill you, you little imp!"

"Nuuuuuuuuuuu," GIR moaned. He then pulled out a laser from his wrist and began to cut the machine in half.

"NO! STOP!" Vixen cried.

"Nope," GIR said as he continued his act. Vixen tried to get to the bot on time, but his leg slowed him down. Finally-

**CRACK!**

Vixen's eyes widened in horror as the machine split in half. Soon, the whole room was swallowed in purple heat. Everyone was forced to shut their eyes as the dark aura shone a horriblelight onto everyone. Vixen roared as felt the darkness envelope his very being. It was around him, inside him, and everything he saw. It burned, ripped, and tore away at him until he was no more.

He had been doomed.

* * *

Zim slowly opened his eyes to take in what happened. The room had been completely destroyed. Computers were caved in, the floor was cracked, and pieces of the ceiling were falling down. He looked down to see the machinery that had been holding him down had crumbled away into nothing."Whooooooaahhh..." he muttered in admiration.

"Z...Zim?"

The Irken's eyes shot towards the girl who was still strapped to the table. Now that her body wasn't radiating with darkness, Zim was able to use his laser to burn away her restraints. He quickly pulled he off the table and gathered her in his arms. "Gaz! Are you okay?" He was relieved to see she no longer looked like a skeleton, and was back to her own meaty self.

Gaz coughed and slightly opened her eyes. "Zim...what are you...doing here?"

"Zim came to save you!" Zim said with a surprising amount of pride in his voice. ""Because you know, Zim is a hero! Well for you anyway. Everyone else can die in a hole."

Gaz frowned and struggled to get to her feet. "Where...where is Vixen?"

Zim looked around the room. "I don't know...but I'm going to put my non-existent money on that pile of ash over there,"Zim said, pointing behind him. Sure enough, sitting in the middle of all the debris, was a small pile of black ash.

Gaz groaned and clenched her fists. "I can't believe this! I had to be rescued again! And you defeated Vixen and had to sweep me off my feet like a little princess! Just great!" She leaned in close to his face. "You are not to report tonight's events to ANYONE, you hear?"

Zim wasn't mad at her lack of gratitude. He would feel the same way if the roles were reversed. Neither of them wanted to be rescued. They wanted to destroy everything with the exception of each other. Zim rolled his eyes and decided to give up his glory. "Actually...Vixen almost destroyed me. It was only after GIR broke the machine and released YOUR power Vixen was able to be stopped. So...techinically YOU saved the day."

Gaz pondered this. "But GIR broke the machine. So doesn't that technically mean he-"

"You saved us! End of story!" Zim quickly exclaimed, wrapping hs arm around the girl. There was only so much he could admit in one day. "Soooo...is all that dark stuff back inside you?"

"I don't think I would be alive if it wasn't," Gaz said.

Zim looked around the room. "Hmm...strange. Almost everything in this room is destroyed. How come GIR and I aren't?"

Gaz pondered this. "Well, when I unleash my wrath, it twists and destroys everything that causes me pain or holds my hatred." She looked between the two boys. "I guess I held enough affection for you guys for you to be spared."

Zim grinned with his zipper-like teeth. "Whew! What a relief!" He turned his head. "Hey Dib-human! Thank goodness Gaz likes us enough to-" His grin disappeared as he noticed Dib was lying on the ground, burnt to a crisp. "Oooooooooh," Zim said. "Um...well...at least she cared enough not to kill you! That's something!"

Gaz looked at her brother. "What's he doing here? Is he here to take more photos of aliens?" she said with a scowl.

Zim shook his head. "No, he actually came here to help save you."

Gaz's scowl withered a bit. "...Really?"

Zim nodded. "Yeah, he actually hasn't taken a picture since we got here. He just wanted to help...he didn't do a very good job, but he tried. Give him an Earthling grading point B - for that."

Gaz wouldn't admit it, but the fact that her brother put her life over his paranormal obsession made her feel really...good. Not that she would admit it out loud. Or even in her head for that matter. She turned to Zim with a rather soft look on her face. "You came for me."

Zim blinked rapidly before nodding. "Well, of course. I mean...you know...I...well...did you really think Zim would let him kill you?"

Gaz laughed softly. "Well, you're not exactly the rescuing type."

"Well...you're worth the glorious Zim's time," Zim said casually.

Gaz nodded. "Well...thank you...and about my mom..."

"I swear I-"

"I know," Gaz cut him off, nodding her head. "I know you had nothing to do with it."

Zim shook his head. "...You were right you know...about my Tallest. They turned out to be nothing but PAK stabbers."

Gaz's eyes widened a bit at this. A rare, full smile spread across her lips. "Zim...you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

Zim rolled his eyes. "Please do not get used to it, human girl. Zim does not make a habit of admitting he's wrong...not that I'm ever wrong. This is just special case. Zim is right 99% of the time!"

Gaz scoffed. "Sure Zim, sure."

Zim gazed at the girl, beyond relieved that she was alive and well. Now that she was beside him again, he felt he HAD just conquered a planet. He supposed this meant that he had to keep this girl close to him as often as possible, if it gave him such a victorious feeling. Oh well, if he had to feel a strange attachment towards a human, he was glad that it was the best one they could offer.

"Gaz?"

"Yeah?" the girl said, snapping he attention back on him.

"Um...may I try that kiss thing again? I think I might be starting to get good at it."

Gaz smiled and leaned towards the Irken, placing her lips on his. She instantly felt that flame burn in her chest that she knew wasn't her darkness. She both hated it and loved it. She was actually really happy that she got to see this weirdo again. They had too much unfinished business for it to end the way it almost did. Plus...she still had something she needed to tell him. Something important

"Oh come on guys! Are you TRYING to torture me? I can barely move, and now you're going to make out right in front of me?" Dib wailed from his spot on the ground.

The duo broke apart and decided to help the boy to his feet. Gaz looked at her brother. "Dib?"

"Yeah?" he said.

"...You're head's not THAT big..."

Dib smiled. He knew that was as close to a 'thank you' he was going to get from his sister, but he was willing to take it. It did hurt him a bit to see that she clearly had more affections for Zim then she did him, but as the alien pointed out, he didn't die from her wrath. That had to mean she at least cared for him a little.

Gaz shook her head. "I can't believe that thing is gone...and not by my hand!"

Zim grinned. "You're hot when you're violent."

"Zim, come on! Give me a break!" Dib whined.

"You're crazy if you think I won't use this to torture you!" Zim said cheerily.

Dib was about to retort when they suddenly heard voices coming down the hallway.

"I heard an explosion!"

"Our Dark Source must be escaping!"

"Where is Vixen?"

"Oh crap!" Dib cried, taking a few steps back. "More of those things are coming!"

Zim glared at him. "I thought you said you took care of them!"

"Right Zim, I took out EVERY SINGLE ALIEN on this ship! I only took out the team you fed me to!" Dib hissed.

Gaz grinned. "Good. Now's my chance," the girl said as she approached the left door.

Dib grabbed her arm. "Gaz, no! We have to get out of here! Zim and I are practically falling apart! We can't handle a horde of these guys!"

"You guys go then. I want to rip into some of these guys," Gaz said.

"You JUST got your strength back!" Dib said. "We took out their leader, we just need to find a Voot and go!"

"You're right Dib...I did just get my strength back." And evil grin spread on her face. "And I'm just itching to use it."

"Gaz-"

"But Gaz!" Zim cut off the human. He reached into his PAK, grabbed a device, and smiled. "I have a bomb."

"WHAT?" Dib cried as Gaz raised an eyebrow.

Zim smirked. "I grabbed this before we left. What better way to finish off these Vesen? Besides...I kind of wanted to make this an apology gift if you were still mad at me...and alive."

Dib raised an eyebrow. "You consider blowing up an alien spaceship an apology gift?"

"It's beautiful!" Gaz said with wide, shining eyes.

Dib shook his head. "There's got to be a name for what you two are."

Zim shook the bomb. "So what do you say, Gaz? Let's leave and watch these things blow to smithereens!"

Gaz bit her lower lip. "Zim, that's not fair...you know I love seeing things blow up."

Zim nodded. "Yes, yes I do.

After thinking about it for a minute, Gaz nodded. "Okay, let's blast them."

Zim grinned his cocky grin. "Good! Now all three of you, head out this door to the right and look for a Voot. I'll catch up after I set this thing off." As soon as they left, Zim began attaching the bomb to a nearby wall, working quickly as he heard the Vesen near their destination. Once he was finished, Zim took a moment to admire his glorious work.

"...I wish I had time to think of a witty catchphrase, but OH WELL! SEE YA SUCKERS!" And with that, he headed after Gaz, Dib, and GIR.

* * *

"Okay everyone. Let's get out of here before this place explodes!" Dib said, strapping himself into the captain's chair.

"Once we get back, I seriously need to kill something," Gaz said, taking her own seat. "Maybe I'll unleash some doom on the Tallest."

"You can't kill them, they're still our leaders." Zim gave her a sly grin. "But I suppose you could tear into them a little bit. They do kind of deserve it."

Gaz snickered. "You hating your leaders is so cute."

Dib groaned. "Nope. Never going to get used to this."

Gaz looked at him. "So you're okay with th is?"

Dib shook his head. "Nope. But it doesn't really matter, does it? You're going to do what you want, right?"

Gaz smiled. "Look who's finally catching on."

"Um, humans? You do remember that I set a bomb on this ship, right? It would be pretty embarrassing to survive Vixen only to die by my own bomb," Zim reminded.

Dib slapped his forehead. "Oh crap, you're right! So where to?"

"Take us home, big headed boy!" Zim commanded. Dib rolled his eyes, but complied. Soon, they were taking off, leaving the world of the Vesen behind for good. As they were leaving, Zim suddenly stood up and said, "Oh wait! I just thought of a witty catchphrase!" He raised a finger and said, "NOW YOU KNOW THAT IRKENS ARE THE BOMB, YOU SONS OF BI-"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

And then, piece by piece, the ship came down.

* * *

After quiet some time, Zim was shocked to find himself waking up from a deep sleep. "Ugh, Dib-human! Didn't you put the ship into jetstream?" he complained.

"Yes, Zim!" Dib shouted., yawning a bit. "We're entering the planet's orbit as we speak. It just took a little while is all."

Zim frowned. "Planet? What planet? The Irken army is on a ship." He stood up and took a peek out the window. He felt his eyes practically bulge out of his skull. Right in front of them was a very large, very familiar blue and green planet. "You're taking us back to EARTH?"

"Gaz needs to get home!" Dib told him.

Zim slowly backed away. "But those humans are after me! They want me locked away in their Area 51 or whatever it is! Why would you-" He paused his rant. A dead panned look appeared on his face. "Oooooooh, you clever, clever human."

Dib sighed. "It's not like that Zim."

"And here I thought we were becoming friends!" Zim cried.

Dib frowned. "What did any of what we just went through make you consider us as friends?"

"...Okay, when I say 'friends', I mean 'not trying to kill each other state'."

"You threw me at the Vesen!"

"Oh sweet Irk, when will you that go? " he groaned.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Zim, I'm not trying to kill you. I just need to get Gaz home."

"Are you out of your mind?"

Both boys turned their heads to see that Gaz had woken up from her own slumber. "I'm not going back to Earth!"

Dib glared. "Gaz, you can't be serious! You want to go back to those aliens? The ones that killed our mother?"

"I'll never forgive them for that," Gaz said, her voice heavy. "And I promise, once I get back there, I'm going to whip those losers into shape and make them pay. They'll respect and fear me even more than they do those pathetic Tallest."

Dib looked at Zim. "And you're okay with that?"

Zim pondered this. "I shouldn't be, but I kind of want to see what she'll do." He looked at Gaz. "You're not going to kill them, right?"

Gaz shook her head. "No. Just traumatize them."

Zim nodded. "Then I'm good."

Dib shook his head. "Well, I'm not! She belongs on Earth!"

"No I don't! You know I don't belong there! I never did!" Gaz snapped at him. "There hasn't been a day of my life where I've fit it on Earth or with other humans! The only time I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be is when I'm with THIS guy!" she said, pointing towards the Irken.

Dib shook his head. "Gaz, this has to stop. Quit acting like whatever is going on between you two is okay!"

"Isn't it okay for me to be happy for a change?" she argued. "Is it wrong-"

"-To be kissing an alien?" Dib finished for her. "Yes! Yes it is! Kissing aliens is a very bad thing! I can't believe I have to explain this to you! I'm taking you home safely, and Zim," he looked at the alien. "I won't turn you in, but you're on your own from here on out."

"He doesn't have a life there anymore!" Gaz said.

"He's not your problem!" Dib snapped. "Grr, why don't you ever listen to me?"

"Listen to YOU?" Zim finally cut in. He had been silently watching the girl defend him, and now it was his turn to return the favor. "Why don't you listen to HER? You know she's a miserable human, but from what I've seen over the past four years, you never seem to try and help her. And if there is anything that CAN make her feel happy, you deem it unimportant." His glare intensified. "You've known this scary female your whole life, and all you see is a frightening, bitter girl. I've gotten to know her for a little over a week, and I can see that she is indeed frightening and overly bitter, but she's also clever, witty, strong. I cannot understand why you find her unworthy of your time!"

"SHUT UP, ZIM!" Dib roared, practically foaming at the mouth. "Quit acting like you know us! You spend one week with my sister and now you think you've got it all figured out? Gaz doesn't WANT to spend time with me! SHE HATES ME!"

"YOU HATED ME FIRST!" Gaz screamed, an almost desperate look on her face.

Dib's head snapped over to Gaz. "Wha-"

"HERE WE GO!" GIR screamed from his seat. The trio turned their heads forward and Gaz and Zim were knocked off their feet. Their ship was now orbiting towards Earth, ready to make its landing.


	21. Loyalty

**Juuuuuuuuuuuuuu...BAM!**

The Vesen Voot smashed into the Earth below, causing a large crater to form in the ground. Steam hissed from it as Dib weakly opened the glass roof. "Okay guys," he said ,in a bit of a daze. "We have reached our...ugh...destination."

Gaz and Zim stuggled to get back to their feet. GIR popped up and frantically looked around. "Do they still have tacos? WhERE ARE THEY KEEPING MY TACOS?"

Gaz brushed off her dress. "Dib, I swear I'll destroy you for this!"

"For bringing you home safely? Good to know!" Dib yelled, adjusting his cracked glasses.

"This is NOT my home," Gaz hissed.

"You never should have brought us here!" Zim yelled at him. "You've think you've bested me, human? If I go down, I swear I will somehow bring you down with me!"

Dib glared. "How are you going to do that?"

"I said 'somehow'!"

Dib growled. "Look, I'm just trying to protect my sister! Would it kill someone to give me a 'thank you' for once!"

"I will once you help ME, not yourself Dib!" She paused. "And even then, it'll be unlikely!"

"You're such a brat!" Dib yelled.

"And you're a pain!" Gaz yelled back.

"And I bring hurt and misery to those around me!" Zim announced, wanting to join in.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Trust me, no one's arguing with you there!"

Zim smiled. "Thank you." The invader blinked as he felt a drip of blood run down his forehead. He glared at it, cross-eyed. "Oh don't you dare leave my body life liquid! I've been through much worse crashes than that!"

Gaz sighed a bit before reaching over and wiping his blood off with her hand. "Here, I got it."

Dib reached under his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Okay, here's what we'll do. We'll sneek Zim back to our place, where he can stay for ONE night. I'll put the finishing touches on Tak's Voot, and he can use it to get home. Then he'll leave tomorrow, and NEVER come back."

Ga raised an eyebrow. "You have Tak's ship?"

"I bragged about it for two weeks straight," Dib groaned. He began to scale the wall of the crater. "Come on, let's get going."

The trio hesitated but followed Dib up the crater. He looked at them. "Okay, now all we have to do is stick to the shadows and-"

"WHERE ARE YOU GUYS KEEPING MY TACOS?"

The trio popped their heads over the side. All three of them paled. They were completely surrounded by men in armor pointing guns at them. They all wore face masks and armor, giving them an intimidating appearance.

Gaz's eyes opened slightly in shock.

Zim tapped his chin. "To be fair, we did crash a couple of minutes ago and spent most of our getaway time arguing."

"Freeze!" One armored man shouted. "Come out and put your hands in the air."

Dib shook his head and gave the men a look of disbelief. "Zim has relanded on this planet more times than I can count...and you guys have never seen him. But the ONE time I want him to remain a secret, you are on him like a bloodhound?" He waved his arms around wildly. "I think I hate you guys! I think I literally hate you guys! If Zim's people decides to capture you guys and dissect you...I'm only going to save you guys because I'm the good guy! Not because I like you or anything!"

Gaz quickly hopped out of the pit and allowed her dark aura to flow around her. "All of you had better get out of here before I send you into a world of darkness where no sign of light will ever be visable!"

"Look at her!" one of the men cried.

"The alien must have experimented on her!" Another shouted, taking a few steps back.

Unfortunately, while Gaz was frightning the people in front of her, one brave (foolish?) man grabbed a tazer and shocked her in the back. "Take this, space genuie pig!" the man cried as the girl's body shook from the impact.

"Hey!" Zim cried angrily as he too left the crater. Instantly, Zim who surrounded by armored police men. Zim pulled out his laser, ready to fight. What he didn't expect was the small group to attack him all at once. Zim zapped two of the men, but the rest leapt on top of him. They pinned him to the ground as the little alien struggled to break free.

Gaz struggled to recover from the shock as she began push the police away with her dark aura. Many tried to grab her, but she managed to scratch and push through them. She was desperate to get to the pinned down alien.

**ZAP!**

Gaz yelped in pain as she felt electricity surge through her leg. She was lucky she was no ordinary human, or she would be screaming and rolling in agony by now. Instead, she gritten her teeth and attempted to crawl over to her friend's aid. Unfortunately, what with her new disadvatage, it took no effort for the police to pin her down in a similar fashion as Zim. "Let us go, you morons!" the girl cried.

The troops holdng Zim pinned his arms under his PAK and handcuffed him. "Alright, it's to the Swollen Eyeball for you, alien!"

"ZIM!" Gaz screamed as the she struggled to escape her captors. The Irken himself was thrashing in the grip of the humans, a look of pure terror in his eyes. She didn't blame him. Here was his worst nightmare coming true. He was going to become Earth's prisoner, and who knows what would happen to him. Maybe he'll be put on display for humans to gawk at. Maybe it'll be like her brother said and he'll be dissected. Maybe even experimented on. One thing for sure, he was about to lose his freedom.

"LET HIM GO!" Gaz bellowed as her dark aura burned the troops, but not enough to get them to release their grip on her. Her busted leg coupled with the fact she was being pressed to the ground was breaking her concentration.

Dib, who had finally left the crater, turned to GIR. "Small robot! Do something!"

Said robot was sitting on the ground, playing with his antenna.

"SMALL ROBOT!"

"Boing...boing...boing..." GIR muttered mindlessly.

DIb grit his teeth and yanked on his hair. This was getting way out of hand. If Zim got taken away now, his sister would kill him! And he didn't think he would miraculously survive this time!

Zim groaned in pain as he struggled to remove himself from the weight of the armored humans. "Come on! Knock him out and let's get him in the van!" One man said.

"Zim, just hang on!" Gaz cried as she managed to release one arm. "I'm...almost...out-

"STOOOOOOOOPPPP!"

Everyone turned their heads to see it was Dib who had screamed at the top of his lungs. With all eyes on him, Dib whispered to GIR, "Do you have a laser on you?"

"Si," GIR said as he showed a laser on his arm.

Dib then cleared his throat before adressing the crowd. "Al...alright everyone. So...yeah...you all need to go now."

"..."

"...And what if we don't wanna?" one man demaded.

Dib took a deep breath before looking at his sister. Finding a bit more courage in himself, he said, "Well you need to...because I'm crazy."

"..."

"...Hah?" the man from before forced out.

"I said," Dib quickly grabbed GIR and pointed him towards the group of men. 'I'M CRAZY!" He then began shooting off GIR's laser, hitting many men in the armor, causing them to be knocked backwards."LOOKOUT! I'M CRAZY! I'M NUTS! I'M COOCOO FOR COCOA PUFFS! ROOOOAAAAAARRR!" DIb bellowed as he fired at the men, secretly being careful not to fatally wound anyone.

One of the men pinning down Gaz pointed at Dib. "Hey! That boy is expressing himself!"

"GET HIM!" Another man called as the soldiers let the duo go to approach Dib.

Dib 's eyes widened as the men approached him. "Uh..."

"DOOOOOGPIIIIIIILLLELEE!"

Dib only had time to squeak before he and GIR were piled on top of.

Gaz shook her head as she got back on her feet. "I can't believe we almost lost to those idiots." She quickly rushed over to Zim and released him from cuffs. "Come on, let's get out of here!" she said, grabbing him by his hand and dragged him with her, forgetting about his metal spider legs.

"...Huh? Wait, wait, wait! Some of you go after those two! They're getting away!"

Gaz cursed under her breath. "This isn't good. There's too many of them to handle." She quickly looked around once they had gotten a good lead. She smiled as she found a random white blanket hanging from a clothes line. She quickly snatched it and wrapped it around Zim, covering his body. "There, that she could keep other civillains from freaking out at the sight of you and drawing attention to us."

Zim jumped a bit once he heard the armored men's footsteps rapidly approaching footsteps. "Gaz, how do we get out of here?"

Gaz pondered this before rushing to the side of the road. She jerked her thumb in the open, giving the hitch hiker signal. Once she saw a boy on a bike about to pass by them, she quickly snatched the mobile from him while pushing him off.

"Hey!" the guy said. "What's the big ide-"

"Run along now Billy," Gaz said in a sinisterly sweet voice.

The boy's eyes widened. "How did you know my..." Shaking his head, he wisely decided to run the rest of the way home.

Gaz got on the bike and gestured towards the basket in the front. "Get in Zim."

The Irken didn't waste any time argueing as he climbed inside the basket. Gaz then pedalled away as fast as she could, with the group of men approaching fast behind her. She winced from the pain that still lingered in her leg, but ignored it for the most part."Hang on , Zim!" The Irken did as he was told and clutched the blanket tighter."Can't I just use my laser and blast these fools away?" he asked.

Gaz didn't answer but instead looked back at the men who were struggling to keep up. The armor was definitely slowing them down. She smirked to herself. It was time to lose these mortals for good. "Hang on, Zim!" she announced.

"Yeah, you told me that seven seconds ago. Can I have any more helpful advice?"

She picked up speed on the bike, grinning wickedly to herself as the armored men began to fall farther and farther behind. Her hair blew back from her face as she said, "Next stop: My place." Letting her dark aura flow through her, she used the extra burst of dark energy to shoot them into the sky.

"Wooooooaaaaaahhh," Zim wailed in shock as they suddenly left the ground. He looked around rapidly as they sailed against the moonlight. "Wow! You're even more powerful than I thought!" He grinned. "It makes me feel honored and very smug that I've had to save you a few times."

"Don't forget who's currently soaring you to safety," Gaz reminded him. She looked to the horizen. "Alright...we should be able to get to my house in no time. You should be safe there. My dad has a 'secret' lab there that you can use to hide in. Maybe you can even get some shut eye."

Zim scoffed."Zim doesn't need sleep. However I will close my eyes, lay down, and fall unconscience so that I may reharge my stamina." He smiled and followed the girl's gaze to the horizon. "But first, Zim must phone home."

* * *

Gaz turned out to be the one who fell asleep. She didn't even make it to her bed. As soon as they entered the house, the girl immediatly marched to her couch and flopped down on it. She was out in a matter of seconds. Zim didn't really blame her. She nearly had died today and her energy had literally been drained from her. She may have been frightening and amazingly powerful, but she was still a human.

Zim decided to head down Dr. Membran's lab so that he could contact his leaders in private. He needed to let them know the mission had been a success, and then he would...

The Irken frowned. What WAS he going to do? Go back? Did he even still have a position in the Irken army? Now that he had time to think about it, he didn't feel like he could go back to serving the Tallest. Honestly, he didn't want to. He never wanted to see those traiterous heathens ever again. What about Earth? He shook his head. No, he couldn't stay on Earth. Those stupid humans were still looking for him. They wouldn't rest until they found him, and he couldn't hide in this lab for the rest of his life.

So...he didn't have a home on Earth or Irk?

The thought actually...saddened him. For the first time in his life, he really had nowhere to go. No place to even delude himself into calling home. Nothing to really live for.

The Irken frowned in concentration. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He still had Gaz and...GIR too, he supposed. His human would know what to do. She always had the answers. He smiled a bit to himself. When the girl woke up, he would ask her where she thought they should go next. She would figure it out.

He found himself pulling out a communicator with a small screen from his PAK and sended a call to his Tallest. After a couple of minutes, the two leaders appeared on the screen. "Ah Zim," Red said. "We-"

"I HATE YOU TWO!" Zim screamed, slamming his finger aganist the screen. "I don't think I covered that when we last met, so let me tell you now: I HATE YOU BOTH! AND NOW I'M FINALLY FREE TO SAY IT!"

Purple frowned. "What do you mean 'finally free'? You've always worshipped us."

"It was all a ruse," Zim lied. "I always knew you two were hiding something! Did you honestly think you could pull one over on the amazing ZIM?" He was using every desperate defense he had in order to not look a fool in front of them. Invader Zim was no fool, even when he had been fooled!

Red and Purple stared at him through the small screen. Red looked at Purple. "Well, this wasn't a total loss. We at least destroyed him mentally."

Purple cleared his throat and said, "So Zim, you're not dead. We can only assume your mission was a success then."

Zim glared at the screen. "Yes. The Vesen are gone for good and shall no longer be a threat to the Irkens or human girls with unnatural abilities."

Red placed his claws together. "Great! Fantastic! I'm so glad to hear this!" He waved. "Well, I guess we'll be on our-"

"Ahem," Purple cleared his throat.

"What?" Red hissed.

"Remember that thing we need to do?"

Red groaned. "Ugh, what happens if we don't do it again?"

"Do what?" Zim asked.

Red shook his head at his partner who gave him a stern look. Red finally groaned, grabbed a pillow, and covered his face with it. Purple cleared his throat and looked at Zim. "Zim um listen...when are you like...planning to come back?"

Zim glared at the screen. "Why on Irk would I go back? There is nothing left for me there."

Purple shrugged, "Yeah, but we're still your race. Whether or not we're jerks, that remains the same."

Zim scoffed and looked away. "I can barely stand looking at yout two. You are no longer the the almighty leaders I respected-"

"We kind of are," Purple quietly said. "Being your leaders...still hasn't changed and stuff you know..."

Zim looked back at the screen. "Oh don't tell me I've STILL gotten it wrong? Didn't you say that you banished me to this planet? I was sent here to rot, right? You never wanted me to come back!"

"We still don't," Purple said hesitantly before groaning. "But...the Irken Council does."

Zim ceased his angry rant at the sound of his leader's revelation. He blinked rapidly. "Come again?"

Red groaned in the pillow as Purple continued. "Well...rumor got around about how you...spoke to us and about how you got an army out of us to take out some powerful race...and it finally got to the council..."

"And they want me back?" Zim asked, disbelief in his voice. He had never seen the council in person before, but he knew that they were in charge of the big ideas for the Irken army. His once glorious Tallest were in charge of carrying these ideas out and making them better. The fact that they had decided they wanted him back was incredible. He mentally laughed at the fact that the Tallest's plans for him had been discarded by the mysterious, no-faced Irkens.

However, the shock didn't end there.

Purple groaned in his claw. "No...worse than that...they want to train you to becoming the next Tallest."

Zim's mind stopped. He didn't even register that Red was screaming in the pillow now. The small Irken shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing. He looked at Purple with mystified eyes. "They...they want ME to be the next Tallest? ME?"

Purple nodded slowly. "Yes, even though you're the smallest Irken who ever lived, the Irken Council decided that your 'bravery'," he used air quotations for the last word, "and talent for mass genocide should be rewarded. So...yeah. That's a thing now."

Zim couldn't believe his non-existent ears. His mouth opened and closed several times, trying to find his voice. Finally, he said, "One moment please." He then sat down his communicator on a nearby table before releasing a high pitched squeal. He just couldn't believe it! Just earlier today, his whole world was crashing down. Everything he had known was a lie. His entire life was a lie. Just a few minutes ago he was wondering where he could go. Now...now he was going to be the next Tallest. He was going to lead his people He, the almighty amazing Zim, was going to be the Tallest Zim!

Haha! He and Gaz were set for life!

He quickly grabbed his communticator again and looked at his Tallest, a broad grin spread across his face. "I'm back!"

Purple raised an invisible eyebrow. "Did we just hear you squeal?"

Zim smiled arrogantly. "Well, I'm glad the council knows a real leader when they see one! Gaz and I will be far better Tallest than you two ever were." He smirked. "Don't worry, once it's our time I'm SURE we can find you two some jobs. Maybe at foodcourtia-"

Purple shook his head rapidly. "Wait, what do you mean Gaz and you?"

Zim's smirk remained, but his eyes faltered a bit. "Isn't that what you just said?"

Purple frowned. "Zim, this offer is just for you. They're not offering it to your human mate."

Zim was quiet for a minute before chuckling. "Well, good luck tiding that over with her. I think once the councilmen hear about her intimidating nature and strong-"

"Zim, she's not allowed back here."

Zim's smirk finally disapperared at the words of his leader. The immense joy he felt a minute ago quickly evaporated. He looked down at the screen again. "What...why?"

Purple sighed. "Zim, we never had any intentions of letting the girl actually join the Irken army. In case you forgot, it was all an evil plan of ours. We can't have a human in our force."

Zim shook his head. "But you saw her! She's incredible! How can you be so-"

"She's a HUMAN, Zim!" Red snapped, finally pulling himself out of the pillow. "WE haven't forgotten that." He sneered. "I think the council will be on our side with this one. The girl will have nothing to do with our race. Be grateful we haven't decided to kill her off for knowing too much."

Zim was quiet . He couldn't believe this. "...One moment please," he whispered before setting down the communicator again. He leaned his PAK against the wall and slid down to the ground. What was he going to do? To leave Gaz now would be a huge betrayal. Not to mention he would never see her again. After everything they had went through together. Oh sure, it's not like he hadn't betrayed his allies before when it benefited him. They were just pawns to get him to where he needed to be. But of course, they weren't Gaz. She was definitely no pawn. She was the one good th ing Earth had to offer. He cared for her. It was sickening, but true. He couldn't believe his people could see how powerful and dangerous Gaz was, but couldn't look over the fact that she was human. He looked past it, why couldn't they? A part of him felt like taking this offer would be giving the Tallest some sick satisfaction. He didn't know why. They obviously weren't happy with him coming back or being next in line to take their place. Maybe it was because they agreed with the councilmen about Gaz and were happy she wasn't coming.

He had two choices: Stay and be the partner of his loyal human, or go home and be the leader of his loyal people. Well...they weren't exactly loyal were they? They had been laughing at him for four years. Gaz laughed at him now and then, but she didn't pretend she liked what he said so she could make an idiot of him behind his PAK. She genuinely listened to him and tried to make his ideas work. His people would be bound by law to be loyal to him. They would probably laugh at him when he wasn't looking until he blew them away with his true amazingness. Gaz stuck with him even when his amazing ideas didn't turn out the way he planned. Gaz was better than those guys.

Zim blinked.

Gaz was better than all of them. She was better than everyone in his race. And she was _his._

"Uh, Zim? Where did you go?"

"Probably got his head stuck in an Earthling waste device again."

Growling, Zim stood up and grabbed the communicator. He stared hatefully at the two leaders. "I've come to a decision."

Purple frowned. "Is that what you were doing?"

"I'm not going. Why should I leave the one person, other than GIR, who stood by me loyally? Who respects me and acknowledges my supreme intelligence? Someone who would actually put their life on the line just for the sake of my wellbeing?" Zim smirked at them. "We don't need you! We'll find a new planet to go to. We'll start a new race! And that race will be the one that conquers the universe! You will shake in fear of the mighty race-that-is-to-be-named! HaHA!"

Red and Purple were quiet for about ten seconds. Finally, Red looked over at Purple. "Um...is he allowed to do that?" His answer was a shrug. Red reached into his PAK and turned away from the screen. "One moment please," he said, raising a thin, green claw. He then began speaking on his own communicaror. "Hey Voc! How's the SIR unit? ...Yeah...yeah, we did. He said he's not coming...I know! I couldn't believe it either!...uh huh...yeah...oh REALLY? No kidding? ...Ha, I'll be sure to tell him. Okay, love you guys, bye." Red hung up his device before turning back to Zim with a wicked grin. "So that was the head of the council..."

"And?" Zim asked.

"Aaaaand, they said that if you don't return, they would like us to send out any men of our chosing to come obliterate you. See, they don't like being told 'no'." His grin grew. "Why, we could even send in an army if we wanted."

"Ooooooh! Take that, Zim!" Purple mocked. He placed his claws on his hips. "Wow it feels good to be an open jerk to you."

Zim's antennas drooped as his eyes widened. What did...what? "I...I can take them on! Bring it!" But for once, his voice didn't sound so confident.

Red raised a non-existent eyebrow. "Oh really? Against an army? With only your PAK and that human's dark craziness?"

"We took out the Vesen didn't we?"

Red scoffed. "You're going to tell me you didn't bring some fancy technology with you? Not to mention you had the men we gave you."

Zim thought about the bomb he used to take out the Vesen ship and the Irken soldiers who made excellent ammo. He glared hatefully back at the screen. "So what? I don't even have a choice?"

Red smiled broadly. "Oh no! You have a choice! In fact, I highly recommed you stay there!" He chuckled darkly. "Just stay there and have fun with my favorite soldiers."

"By the way," Purple said, cutting in. "Just because we probably didn't get to say this before either, WE HATE YOU TOO! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ah, I feel so free." The link was the broken and the screen went black.

"You...You!" Zim hissed. Growling, the Irken threw his arm back and tossed the communicator at the wall. The small device smashed on impact. Zim covered his face with his claws and resumed his spot on the floor.

* * *

Zim slowly made his way back out to the Membrane living room. He honestly couldn't believe that he had just been given a promotion he could have only dreamed about, and he felt like his world was ending. He finally saw the Tallest for the scoundrels they were, and they still had control over him. He didn't have a choice. He knew he was amazingly clever and strong, but he even he had to admit that he didn't stand a chance against a whole fleet of Irkens. At least not without his base. He would have to go back to his people.

He shook his head in anger. What his Tallest had told him was perfect. He would get to go back home, train to be the most amazing Tallest ever, one-up the ones who betrayed him, and forget about all the horrific and disgusting things he witnessed on Earth.

But there was one horrific and disgusting thing he didn't want to be without. The missing piece to this perfect dream.

He sighed heavily. What was he supposed to even say to her? _Well, had a nice time with you, but I think it's time to move on now. Enjoy your life with those humans that we both agree are unbearable to be around!_ He was scared of what her reaction would be. Would she react violently like she often tended to do? Sadly, an emotion he had only seen a handful of times? He didn't know what to do. He had never hurt someone by his lack of presence before.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was tapping the human girl on the shoulder. He looked down at this claw in betrayal as the girl began to open one amber eye. She rubbed her face before opening the other eye. "How long was I out?" was the first thing she said.

"It's almost dawn," Zim answered. He had spent a few hours mulling over everything, trying to come up with an alternative answer. He didn't come up with one.

Gaz frowned at this and sat up. "Then why did you wake me up? We humans requrie at least 12 hours of sleep. You know, when the sun is way high in the sky," she told him.

Zim scrunched his brow, trying to find the best way to approach the tragic subject. _I don't want to go...not if I have to leave her..._ "Gaz...the Tallest contacted me," he started.

Gaz didn't look surprised. "I figured they would eventually. So what did those losers want?"

Zim was quiet for a minute before finally whispering, "They...the Irken Council...want me back. They want to train me to be the next Tallest."

Gaz's eyes widened at the boy's words, and she gave a wicked grin. "Zim, are your serious?" She surprised the Irken by laughing haughtily. "I can't belive this! They're actually chosing the next leader based off POWER? Zim, you must have really impressed them! You have to tell me what the idiot leaders of yours' faces looked like! C'mon, give me the details!"

Zim couldn't help but feel a small smile come on his lips. She had a bad habit of making him do that. "Red kept his face hidden in a pillow half the time."

Gaz shook her little fists in delight. "That's just great! Hah! I can't wait to see what happens to your race with YOU in charge. This'll be fantastic. It'll just be like a video game where you command the lower ranking players." Her smile suddenly disappeared as she looked him in his ruby eyes. "Wait...did those council guys mention me at all?"

 _Here it comes._ "...No."

Gaz's face scrunched up into a dark frown. "Well, we'll see about that. No way are you ruling those losers without me! I'll just have to give them a front row seat to my wrath and then-"

"You can't go back at all."

Gaz's eyes snapped open. She looked at him, her mouth hanging open a bit. "...What?"

Zim folded his arms and looked down at his boots. "They won't let you back in...because you're a human."

Gaz was quiet. She copied Zim and looked down at her feet. "...Are you still going?"

Zim raised his claws. "Yes, but-"

"You slime!" the girl hissed as she jumped off the couch.

"Gaz, wai-"

"After everything we've been through, you're just going to throw me out of your life? We're supposed to be partners!" she fumed, her dark aura crackling around her. "I know that this is your dream job or whatever, but I thought I was-"

"I rejected their offer!" Zim shouted.

The girl stopped her rant and slowly turned to look at him. "You...did?" she said quietly.

Zim only nodded.

The girl looked down, a small blush on her face. "...Sorry." She looked back at him. "I...then why did you tell me this?"

 _I'm so sorry._ "Because they're forcing me to go," Zim told her."The Tallest and council won't have me defying a direct order. They'll send some men to kill me."

A look of horror came across the girl's face. She looked around the room rapidly, as if desperatly searching for an answer to their problem. "Zim...we can take them."

Zim shook his head. "No, we can't. I'm practically defenseless without my base. And you may be strong, but I don't think you can handle a swarm of Irken soldiers. I know you don't think you can either." He looked down. "Even if we do beat them by some miracle, they'll just send more. We'll have to lose eventually, and I honestly don't know if I can bring myself to destroy my own race. They're my people-"

"WELL WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!" Gaz suddenly burst. She growled in frustration and began yanking on her violet locks. "You can't just leave me!"

Zim took a breath. "I don't want to Gaz, but there's nothing we can about this!"

"After everything we've been through?!" Gaz fumed. "You're just going to up and leave me behind!" She came over and jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "You started out as a simple fly on the windshield of my life, and now you're the most important thing in it!" She blushed as she made this confession. "You...actually made me care about another living being. I haven't felt that in years. And now you have to go? You just can't! I..." she looked at the Irken, her face filled with distress. "Zim...I _love_ you."

Zim's eyes widened at this revaltion. He took a few steps back, his mind racing at a million miles per hour.

Gaz huffed a bit. "I'm sorry, I know you-"

"Ssssh," the Irken hissed, placing a finger to his lips. He was trying to piece his mind together. He was silent for about three minuters, making Gaz wonder if he was okay. Finally the Irken took a few steps towards her and said, "You are talking abou the 'in love' aren't you?"

Gaz nodded.

Zim placed a claw under his chin and said, "You once told me what that was about. You said it meant that you would do anything for that person." He shifted his ruby eyes at the girl. "I was ready to give up the best job an Irken can get for you." He paused. "You said that you would also be willing to die for them. When you were being drained by Vixen in that horrid machine, I didn't think I would be able to live knowing I couldn't save you from such a grisly fate. I would actually be okay with dying if you had." He straightened up his posture. "You make me happy...and make me risk things that I thought were more important than anything else. I guess they're not anymore." He nodded. "Yes...Gaz...I do believe I love you too."

The girl released the breath she didn't know she was holding. She then leaned over and wrapped her arms around the alien. _I can't believe it,_ she thought. _I'm actually in love...with an alien no less!_ She smiled a bit as she felt the Irken wrap his arms around her torso with none of the fear he had displayed in previous hugs.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, without kissing or too much touching. They simply hugged and held onto each other for what they feared would be the last time. Gaz was the first to pull away. She looked up at his ruby eyes. "Zim...you're right. Being in love means you would do anything for the other person." She felt small tears form in her eyes. "Which is why you need to go."

Zim's eyes widened as the girl continued. "It's not like we can be together if you're dead. We'll just have to...remember one another I guess. And just think of each other every now and then. Remember the crazy week we had."

Zim was quiet for a minute before saying, "Don't you humans...mate with other humans when you get older?" He did not like that idea of Gaz being with another guy. Especially since no human she could be with would ever be as glorious as he.

Gaz laughed softly. "You know me Zim. I'm never going to feel for a human like this." She looked up at him. Slowly, she leaned over and kissed his lips. Zim returned the favor, trying to absorb the feeling and smell of this human girl as much as he could. Gaz finally pulled away, her eys shining with tears. "Thanks Zim...for everything."

Zim nodded, though he didn't feel like he did anything. "I...will never forget you...love-human thing."

Gaz laughed a bit before saying, "Trust me. It's impossible to forget you." She took a deep breath and rubbed her arm. "Um...I...have to go. I'll see you before you leave. Promise." The girl then made her way further in to the house, her head sunk low.

Zim watched her go, all of his insides feeling like they weighed a ton. He gasped when he felt something wet trail down his face. He gently touched it and held the drop out where he could see. A tear. Irkens could cry? He could remember a few times his eyes wetting up when he was in extreme pain...he mentally chuckled. Well, wasn't he in extreme pain now? He looked back at the direction the girl had gone. He wished he had partnered up with the girl four years ago. He had never felt such a strange combo of nothing making sense and everything making sense at the same time.

* * *

Gaz watched the sun rise from the screen of her Gameslave. She was sitting on the front steps of the house and had spent the better of the hour just staring at the screen. She hadn't even made a move to turn it on.

She blinked slowly. It was almost time. She had heard Zim remove Tak's ship from the garage and was now putting the finishing touches on it. She would have to get up and see him off soon. She had to, but at the moment she couldn't get herself to remove herself from her spot. She didn't know how she was going to do this...

Her eyes widened slightly as a stiff figure slowly approached her. She rolled her eyes once she realized it was her brother. "Dib...where have you been?"

The boy walked awkwardly towards his sister, as if he could barely move his legs. His face was twitching and his hair stood on end. "I...received some very harsh treatment from the Swollen Eyeball. They g-gave me a shower.." Even his voice was a little shaky.

Gaz stared at him for a moment before saying, "With what?"

Dib shook his head. "Gaz, I don't know, but I feel like a piece of old cheese. I literally c-cannot feel the lower half of my body."

"Hm. At least they let you go."

Dib laughed softly. "They let me go...I escaped...w-we'll see what the papers will say tomorrow." He frowned and looked around. "Hey, where's Zim?"

Gaz avoided his eyes and looked back down at her blank screen. "...Getting ready. The Tallest want him back. He 's going to be the next leader."

Dib's eyes widened. "W-What? After everying those guys put him through? Now they're asking for him back?" He found himself appalled by the Tallest gall. "Did he agree?"

Gaz sighed heavily. "He didn't have a choice. The Tallest threatened to kill him if he didn't return. He's going to be leaving soon."

Dib grabbed his right shoulder in order to stop it from shaking. "And you're not?"

Gaz shook her head slowly. "They won't let me join the Irkens...because I'm a human."

Dib frowned. "What? They were okay with you joining when Zim brought you in the first time!"

She laughed bitterly. "I guess tthe council guys hadn't heard of me yet. They won't take me...they just won't.." The girl bit her lower lip to try and surpressed her tears. "I can't believe it..."

Dib was horrified to discover the tears shining in his sister's eyes. He felt his brotherly instincts kick in. He placed a shaking hand on her shoulder. "Gaz listen...I know you wanted to take over the world, but really-"

"You're so dumb, Dib!" Gaz hissed, pushing her brother's hand off of her. "Don't you get it? This stopped being about world domination a long time ago! I don't even care if I don't get to conquer Earth anymore!" She hissed as she felt her tears start to grow. She couldn't believe she was actually crying in front of Dib. But it honestly didn't matter. Nothing did anymore. "What I care about is that I'm about to lose the only guy I ever loved! Probably forever!" She ran her small hands through her hair, trying to get a grip on herself.

Dib's eyes widened at her declaration. He looked behind him, as if Zim would be standing there. "You mean Zim?" he asked, hs voice finally losing its shake.

Gaz looked at him with dark eyes. "Yeah Dib, I love him, okay? He's the only one who saw my darkness and thought it was something beautiful. He actually saw me as something to appreciate and love. He cared about _me,_ just the way I am." The girl huffed and turned away from him. "Why am I even telling you my feelings? You never cared about them. You'll always just see Zim as the enemy. Well, I guess you finally won. Zim is leaving, and I can't be with him. Congratulations."

Dib was distraught. How could Gaz think he didn't care about her happiness? He never understood the things that made her happy, but he still wanted her to be. He had never seen his sister so crushed before. Not since their mother's death. Usually when something upset her, she would retaliate with anger and destroy anything in her path. But this...this was breaking her deeply buried heart. She was _sad._ Distressed. His little sister was heart broken. He honestly couldn't stand it.

...

Suddenly, an idea formed in Dib's head. It suddenly became clear as day what had to be done. But it would mean...it would be the ultimate sacrifice. Things would never be the same again. But...could he do it? If it made his sister happy? He took in her crushed state and inhaled a deep breath.

...Yes, he had to. He couldn't be selfish about this.

Dib returned his hand to his sister's shoulder. "Gaz...think hard on this...do you _really_ love Zim?"

Gaz didn't meet his gaze. She simply nodded her head.

He released the air he had been holding and mentally cursed. He couldn't believe he was going to go through with this. He looked down and noticed the black smudge on his sister's hand. "...Is that Zim's blood?"

The girl looked down at her hand. "...Yeah, from the crash. I haven't washed my hands since then."

Dib was quiet before grabbing his sister's blood stained hand. "C'mon Gaz...I'm going to make everything better."

* * *

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bloop._

"Alright. I'm done," Zim said, as he put the finishing touches on Tak's ship. He had to give Dib credit. The human had just the right parts and tools to make the Irken Voot functional again. Too bad he was too stupid to do it himself.

He closed the hatchet he was working on and sighed. He looked up from his work and actually jumped a bit at what he saw. Three very familiar aboritions were looking at him with sympathy.

 _"Oh Zim,"_ Zim Shoulder Angel said. _"I'm sorry you're about to lose the only person you ever loved. You're crushed, dear one."_

 **"Bah! Who cares about that chick?"** Zim's Shoulder Devil cried. **"He's going to become Tallest Zim!"**

Teddy Subconscience sighed heavily. "I suppose it was better to love and lost than to have never loved at all."

Zim gave the three forms a blank look. He then raised his wrench and began bashing them senseless until they disappeared. "Don't ever let me catch you guys floating around my head again," he finally said. He snapped his head to the right and looked at his little robot who had joined him ten minutes ago. "GIR! I told you pack light!"

GIR whimpered as he looked at his pile of tacos, his pile of biscuits, and his small herd of piggies that were beginning to wander off. "But...I can't decide! How can I only chose one piece of my happiness? These things are ME!"

Zim sighed and said, "Well GIR, I personally suggest that you don't bring a pig. I don't think it'll survive in space."

"Oooooh," GIR hummed. He went quiet for a minute, his tongue sticking out of his mouth. Finally he reached over and grabbed a pig. "I've made up my mind!"

Zim shook his head. He then leaned on the Voot and folded his arms. GIR trotted past him and threw his piggie in the Voot. "C'mon Daddy, I'm ready!"

"In a minute," Zim said. "Gaz said she would be here."

GIR instantly deflated. He sniffled. "I want Mommy to go..."

Zim nodded solemnly. "I do to, GIR." He shook his head, still not believing how drastically his life had changed in one week. How much his values changed. He couldn't even remember the last time he thought about taking over Earth. All he had really been thinking about lately was Gaz. Now he was going to to have to say good-bye to her forever. And he now he could never try to conquer this planet again. Not while she lived on it.

The Irken cursed angrily and kicked the side of the Voot. "This is so stupid! I am the almighty Zim! I never give up! I always go after what I want! I should just bring Gaz back whether they like it or not! I can take on anyone who tries to hurt her!" He deflated a little bit. "I mean sure it'll be me and her vs. the entire Armada, but we've been through worse, right? I'm sure we could take out...my entire race?" He groaned and slammed his head against the Voot. He was okay with taking out a few of them, but the attackers would just be replaced again and again until he wiped out all his people. He certainly didn't want to do that.

Zim sighed deeply, drowning in the heavy weight of his insides. "This is so unfair.."

"Well now you know how I've felt for the past four years!"

Zim didn't turn around, but looked up at the sky. "I mean, there had to be SOMETHING else that could be used to torutre me. What's the one thing that gets under my skin more than anything else in the world? Yeah, let's throw in that guy!"

"Oh shut up, Zim," Dib huffed. He scratched the top of his head. "So...you're really leaving, huh?"

Zim continued to stare at the Voot. "Yes human boy. I can't believe the day has come when I say this, but I'm done. I no longer have any desire to take over this planet." He stiffened. "But don't take this as me losing! You never beated me! I just decided that I will no longer have contact with this mudball. It has been spared. You can thank your sister for that."

Dib was quiet for a minute. "Zim...do you really love my sister?"

Zim chuckled humorlessly. "What? Do you think we Irkens are incapable of love?" He frowned."Because we are, so this is really freaking me out. There is no other word that can describe what I feel for her. I'd...I'd stay on this planet if it meant she would be near." He smiled a bit. "Please tell me my confession is seething your puny soul. I could go for at least one good thing coming out of this."

"Believe me, I am definetely weirded out," Dib said reassuringly. He paused. "But...I'm not mad anymore."

"Sure, way to kick a guy when he's down."

"You are the first person my sister has ever been happy around since Mom. You actually bring a smile to her face, make her laugh, and just honestly make her do things other than eating and playing video games. You're actually a good match for her Zim."

Zim's face was blank as he looked at his reflection in the Voot. "Dib. We have literally been telling you that for a week."

Dib shrugged. "Well next time you want to get a message across, don't be so threatening. It makes me get defensive. Also, rescue each other from aliens more. And hey, toss in stop threatening my people."

Zim rolled his giant eyes. "Where are you going with all this, smelly human?"

Dib sighed before saying, "Zim...I want you to take Gaz with you."

The green alien laughed again. "HA! Really? Gee, if only I had thought of that!" Zim crossed his arms. "I do not need your approval, Dib-human. I would have taken her with me whether you liked it or not. But the Irken Council and Tallest are forbidding me from bringing a human back to the army. I can't-"

"Zim, look at her!" Dib said. "She's been standing next to me this entire time!"

"WHAT?" Zim screeched, spinning around rapidly. "Gaz, why have you-"

...

His eyes opened wide. His mouth dropped open in could feel his entire face twitching. His mind went blank.

The girl spread her arms open. "Sorry, I wanted it to be a surprise. What do you think?"

The Irken was speechless. Gone was the girl's violet, open-jawed hair and replaced by a bald head and a pair of antennas shaped like scythes, not too unlike the ends of her hair used to be. Her skin that was once pale white was now as green as the grass littering her planet. Her eyes, they were an exact replica of the color of her darkness. She was sporting the grey uniform that Zim had given her with pride.

Gaz Membrane was no longer a human.

"What do you think, Zim?" Gaz repeated, not knowing how to take his silence.

Zim broke his stupified postions and quickly rushed over to her. He gently touched her face with one of his claws. Sweet Irk, and he thought she was beautiful before... "How...you...you're an Irken!"

Gaz nodded. "That I am."

" _The Change of Life,"_ Dib said, stepping up to them. "I used the blood left that was left on her hand to change her into your species. Heh, never thought I would use the machine this way."

Zim's eyes widened again as he turned to Dib. "You...you actually turned your sister into an _alien?"_ he screeched. There was no way this was the same Dib he had known for four years.

The human groaned and squinted his eyes shut. "Trust me, this is gonig to haunt me forever. In fact, I'll probably regret it in the morning." He opened his eyes. "But...this might be my sister's last chance at being truely happy. Mom would want her to be happy...I want her to be happy."

Zim quickly looked back at Gaz. The once human girl smiled. "Now let's see those council guys reject an Irken who can twist her soul into dark energy," she said with an evil smirk.

Zim looked surprised. "You can still do that glowing dark thing?"

The girl took a few steps away from him and let her darkness crackle and pop around her body. "Behold. I, the mighty Gaz, am the darkest Irken of all," she said, making a parody of her boyfriend's arrogance.

Zim was speechless. "You...changed your species...to be with me?"

Gaz nodded with a hint of shyness. "I was never much of a human anyway." She frowned and looked down at her hands which only held six fingers. "Although playing my game is going to be a lot harder. Luckily, I love a challege."

A feeling of absolute joy overwhelmed Zim as he embraced the girl tightly. Gaz laughed lightly as she hugged him back. Things were going to be alright. They were going to go back together. They were going to be _together._

Zim was the first to pull away. He looked at Dib with curious eyes. "So...you're really okay with us leaving?"

Dib nodded solemnly. "Just don't let anything happen to her Zim. I'll know! Call it a sibling's intuition, but I'll know! I mean it!"

Zim waited for Gaz to yell at the boy that she could take care of herself. That she would do whatever she pleased. However, to his upmost shock, the girl slowly walked over towards the boy and wrapped her arms around his neck. The Irken's mouth dropped open.

Gaz was actually _hugging_ Dib.

Dib's eyes widened as he slowly found himself hugging his sister back. He couldn't believe it. He could't remember the last time his sister hugged him...or anyone hugged him, to be honest. Heh, it was kind of ironic. He never would have dreamed that he would be touching an alien so tenderly. He felt tears sting his eyes once he realized that this may possibly be the last time he saw his sister. She would be leaving to live on another planet. It hurt worst than he could ever have imagined.

"Thank you, Dib," the girl whispered.

Dib sniffed a bit and released her. "Hey...I love you, sis."

Gaz pleasantly surprised the boy by giving him a true, genuine smile and a nod.

Zim then walked over to Dib. For a long time, the two boys just stared at each other. It was Dib who spoke first. "You know...I'm actually more happy that you're not going to hurt my planet than I am about you leaving."

Zim looked over at Gaz before nodding his head towards Dib. "I...thank you for this." He extended his claw towards the boy. "Well, farewell human boy. Be sure to...keep defending your planet. You actually do a pretty good job."

Dib smiled a kind smile at Zim and shook his claw. "It was fun, Zim. You were actually the closest thing I had to a friend."

Zim pointed a finger at Dib. "That is very sad." He then walked over to the Voot and climbed in. "You ready Gaz?"

Gaz nodded before looking back at Dib. "Well...be seeing you, Dib."

Dib nodded. "Have fun taking over planets...that's not this one!"

Gaz looked at Dib a bit more before heading into the Voot. Dib blinked rapidly. He didn't know if he was just still dizzy from his treatment with the Swollen Eyeball, but he could've swore he saw his sister mouth the words 'love you' before turning around.

With one final look at the human boy, the two Irkens rocketed into the sky and took flight.

* * *

Zim adjusted some of the controls before turning his gaze onto Gaz. "We...may be able to return here one day, you know. I will be the next Tallest eventually."

Gaz groaned. "Ugh, I can't believe we have to go back to serving those goons!"

Zim shrugged. "Worry not, dear Gaz. Most of our time wll be occupied training to become the next leaders."

An evil smirk spread across the girl's face. "Yeah, once those council guys see my wrath, they'll have no choice but to train me too." Her dark aura crackled. "I'll be sure of that." She tapped her chin. "Just think of all the inventions I'll create in your home."

"Inventions?" Zim questioned.

Gaz shrugged. "Well, there HAS to be pizza," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I just need to find a way to make it digestible for an Irken's squeedly spooch." She looked at the night sky that they were quickly approaching. "But first thing's first:I need to hold a proper ceremony for my mother."

Zim nodded at this. "Don't worry. I'll see to that personally."

Gaz smiled at him. She was happy. She was genuinely happy to be with this crazy nut. This crazy nut who she loved. Smiling slyly, the girl leaned over to give him a kiss, the other Irken doing the same.

Their lips met, but not on each other's. Their eyes opened wide in shock once they realized thay had both kissed a cheek of a certain robot.

"LOVE FOR THE BABY!"

"GIR!" the duo cried.

GIR grabbed his piggy and began running around with it. "FLYING PIG! LOOK AT THE FLYING PIG!"

Gaz saw this and face palmed. "You let him bring a _pig?"_ she hissed.

"I highly suggested against it!" Zim said, his 'nose' in the air.

The girl sighed, got out of her seat, and began chasing the small bot. "GIR! Put down the pig!"

"NEVAAAAH!" GIR called as he continued to run.

"GIR! It's not coming with us!" Gaz cried, continuing to chase the bot. "GIR, listen to Mommy! Put down the pig!"

"BUT HE'S FLYIING!"

"GIR! Listen to your mother-unit!" Zim called, his eyes still on the sky. "Don't make your father-unit force you to release it!"

''PIGGY HAS HIS DREAMS TO LIVE!"

Zim sighed and got up from his seat. Looks like this was his life now.A dark, ruthless human-gone-Irken 'girlfriend' and a psychotic SIR unit that thought he was his father-unit. The remainder of his life would be spent cowering in Gaz's wrath, putting up with GIR's crazy mind, and surviving the chaos the three of them put together would create.

Zim smiled.


	22. Epilogue

_Seven years later..._

Zim grinned to himself as he checked himself out in the mirror. He turned around and examined himself closely, He frowned once he got a look at his rather dull teeth. Humming a bit to himself, he reached over onto his work table and grabbed a knife. He then bared his zippper-like teeth and began to sharpen them with the untencil. He smirked once he finished, grabbed his dark red cape and fastened it to his shoulders. He then gave himself another look-over before nodding his head. "Yup, that IS about as sinisterly handsome as a guy can get," he said proudly.

He then marched over to the platform he needed to go to. It made a whirring noise before lowering the small Irken down to the cround of cheering Irkens. Zim waved to them arrogantly, reveling in the fact that the ones who once laughed at him now worshipped him like they were meant to. "Greetings, you fools!" he called.

"ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY SMARTEST!" the people cheered.

Zim grinned to himself. When he had passed the training and became the Tallest, he decided to give himself a new name, a nickname of sorts, as he did not want people calling him based on something he wasn't.

He spread his arms out, causing the crowd to cheer even louder. "Thank you, thank you! Yes, I know I'm amazing! I know, I kno-hey, you in the back! You're not cheering loud enough! RAISE YOUR CLAWS IN THE AIR INGRATE! Thank you," Once the crowd had calmed down, Zim brought his arms down. "Of course, where would the almighty Smartest be without his lovely partner, the equally almighty Darkest?"

The crowd once again burst in to applause as another platform lowered to reveal their female leader. The crowd continued to cheer, even when they say that her attention was not on them, but on her latest Gameslave she held in her claws.

Zim cleared his throat nervously. "Psst! Gaz, we're on!" he whispered.

"Hm?" the girl murmered before looking ahead and noticing the crowd. "Oh Irk," she muttered before pausing her game. "I always forget how fast those elevator things go." The once human girl then straightened out her black cape and joined Zim by his side. "Fellow Irkens," she said with a nod.

"WE LOVE YOU YOUR DARKEST!" One random Irken shouted from the farthest left of the room.

Gaz turned her puple eyes to the Irken. "You love me Bek? Then make these Gamelsaves faster! I gave you the blueprints, this shouldn't be so hard for you!"

Zim nodded in agreement before turning to the general population. "Alright, we have important issues we need to discuss." He gestured towards the giant screen behind them where a picture of a planet appeared. "As you all know, we have recently been discussing trade with planet Vort. And when I say trade, I mean we really want their couch. It's not the universe's most comfortable couch for nothing." He folded his arms behind his PAK. "I think we gave them a fair offer. We were willing to give them this," he held up a long, red string, "red shoelace!" He frowned. "But those Vortians refused us, not understanding how generous our offer was. I mean, these aren't exactly commong on Irk! We all wear boots!"

Gaz placed a claw on his shoulder, pulling him back from his building rage. She then turned to the population."So, since they won't hand over the couch, we've decided to take it by force." She pointed at the screen where a close-up of where the couch was being held was shown. "I've examined the perimeter and I've decided the best way to go about this is to blow up the town square, causing a commotion, followed by sending our strongest soldiers into this building, where they will take out the guards. Then we willl send in out stealthiest soldiers to sneak past any traps that are set, grab the couch, and head home."

Zim smiled proudly at her. Her years of gaming had really turned her into a real strategist. She always came up with the battle plans when taking on a planet, whil he gave command and created any new technology that could help them out. No one had decided on that, it just came naturally. He turned back to the population. "Any questions?"

One Irken raised his claw. "Yeah uh, why don't we just blow up the planet?"

Gaz sighed. "Violence isn't the answer to everything. We need strategy AND violence. Do you want the couch to be blown up in the explosion?"

Another Irken raised a claw. "How are we going to carry that huge couch out of the building?"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Teamwork. We're sending a lot of you goons in there. You know when we ask if there are any questions, we're being retorical, right?"

One more Irken raised a claw. "When are we going to take over that planet you came from, my Darkest? The one you call 'Earth'?"

A few members of the population gasped, while others turned to look at the speaker in shock.

Zim, seeing that his love girl was fuming at this point, placed the tips of his claws together and walked to the front of the stage. "Um, Doof was it?"

The Irken scratched his head. "Uh, my name is Tud actually-"

"Yeah, yeah, your name is Doof now. So Doof, do you remember that law we made a few years back? If not, let me remind you: Earth is to remain untouched forevernore."

"But why?" Doof asked, causing a few fellow Irkens to face palm.

Zim glared. "Because, foolish underling, your mighty Darkest has a brother-unit there that she would prefer to remain unharmed. He, as well as his planet, are off-limits and to remain untocuhed by our kind."

Doof frowned. "With all due respect, I don't really understand that law. What's a brother-unit? Why does our Darkest care about what happens to him?"

Zim shook his head with a smile. "Well nobody cares that you don't understand." He walked back over to Gaz. "Your Darkest commands it. And who's the one who has become the greatest strategist in all Irken history in just seven short years?"

"Our Darkest," the group said in unison.

Zim nodded. "Yes, and who is the invetor of our beloved Azzip, a delicious treat that we can all injest, based on her favorite Earth treat?"

"Our Darkest," the group said again/

Zim spread his arms out. "And who left this planet a human, came back as a powerful Irken, and then blew the Irken Council away with her strength by ripping off the former Tallest Red's left arm, consequently earning hersefl the title 'Tallest-in-training'?"

"Our Darkest."

"Exactly," Gaz said with a nod. She then lit her hand on fire with dark energy and hurled it at Doof. "So don't question me!" she yelled over the Irken's cries.

Zim smiled as if nothing had happened. "So, testing for who will be assiged on this mission will be this afternoon. I wish you the best of luck. and if you fail, you're useless and deserve to feel bad about yourself. Unitl next time!"

The crowd cheered as Zim and his partner were lifted back off the stage.

* * *

"Nice job handling Doof back there," Zim said as he drove the Voot around the small buildings decorating the Armada. "He sure got a taste of your darkness! ...He wasn't anybody important was he?"

Gaz leaned back in her seat and placed her boots on the dash of the control panal. "Don't worry, that wasn't enought to kill him. Just give him nightmares for the rest of his life."

Zim sighed and pushed her feet off the panal. "Don't do that! You know I hate it when you do that! Did the laser incident from last year teach you nothing?"

Gaz smirked a bit as she looked at the button that controlled the laser. "My boot barely touched it."

"The laser said differently," Zim said before scratching the side of his face. His ruby eyes lit up as an idea came to him. "Hey Gaz, how about you and I get something to eat?"

A large smile sperad across the girl's face. "Can we go to our favorite place?"

Zim grinned wickedly at her. "Where else would we go?" He worked the controls of the ship and drove it to the right. Affer awhile, the duo found themselves at Foodcourtia.

"The usual?" Zim asked.

"Of course."

Zim nodded and pulled back the windshield of the Voot. He then pulled up to the first window and tapped on it. "We demand food!"

The window opened to reveal a very familiar face. "Welcome to Foodcourtia, where we- oh Irk! Not you two again!"

"Heeeeey Red," Zim said smugly as Gaz twiddled her fingers in greeting.

Red placed a claw over his face. "Don't you two ever get tired of coming here?"

Zim looked at Gaz. "Are you tired?"

Gaz pretended to think about it before shaking her head. "Nope. You?"

"Nope."

They both looked at Red. "Nope," they said in unison.

While Red groaned, Gaz took in the old-fashioned diner outfit the former Tallest was forced to wear. "I still think it's a good look on you."

"Oh shut up!" Red growled at her.

Zim raised a finger. "Ah, ah, ah, be careful Red. Remember what happened the last time you vexed her Darkest?"

Red sighed and used his right hand to feel the empty socket where his left arm had been. "Yeah...I remember..."

Gaz grinned. "Well, you don't have to remember. When Zim taped it, he saved it to our Voot's memory!" Before Red could protest, Gaz pressed a few buttons that caused a holagraphic screen to appear above the control panal.

 _Red and Purple were looking tiredly down at Zim. "Well Zim," Red said in a bored tone, "I'm glad to see you've come to your senses and decided to take up training to be the next Tallest. I'm sure you'll honor the name and work hard to-are you filming us? Why do you have a cam_ era?"

"Hey there!"

_Red and Purple looked off to the side to see Gaz marching up to them. The Red tallest looked confused. "Uh...hi there?"_

_"I don't think you're supposed to be here," Purple said. "Isn't there somewhere you need to be, little lady?"_

_"You two don't recognize me?" Gaz hissed._

_The two Tallest exchanged a look before looking back down at her. "Um no," Puple said._

_"We have no idea who you are," Red said. "I don't really recognize your face or-"_

_Gaz grinned as she leaned foreward and unleashed her dark aura._

_Red and Purple yelledd in horror._

_"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!"_

_"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! I"_

_"I KNOW THAT ENERGY OF HATE!"_

_Red shook his head in confusion. "I don't understand! How are you-"_

_"An Irken?" Gaz finished. "You two aren't the only ones with tricks up their sleeves." She took a step of closer to them. "I knew it. You guys are actually scared of me, aren't you?"_

_Red finally composed himself and frowned down at her. "N-No, of course not! You just caught us off guard is all!"_

_Gaz nooded before turning to the camera. "Okay Irken Council. My name is Gaz Membrane. I was once a human, yes, but I have now been changed into one of your kind. I am the most powerful Irken you have on this ship, and you need to let me train to be the next Tallest!"_

_"Tell them what level you're on on your Gameslave!" Zim called from behind the camera._

_Gaz nodded. "84, but that's not what you guys want to hear about." A sinister smile appeared on the girl's face. "Allow me to demostrate my power," she turned around and began to make her way towards Red._

_The Tallest backed up a bit. "Uh, Earth girl? What are you doing? Why are you looking at me like tthat? Human? Gaz? GAZ!?"_

"ALRIGHT!" Red cried angrily as Gaz shut off the video. "We know what happened! No need to go down memory lane!"

Zim grinned. "There's a difference between 'need' and 'want'."

Red sighed. "Just...what do you two want?"

"We want two servings of that Azzip Gaz invented," Zim said.

"As well as two sodas," Gaz added. She snapped her fingers. "Oh right, and some tacos for GIR."

"Boy is HE happy you taught this planet how to make those," Zim said, looking at Gaz.

Red grumbled before turning his head. "Hey Purple! We need two servings of that Azzip crap and some tacos."

"The Smartest and the Darkest are here?"

Red grit his teeth. "Yeessss they're here, Purple."

"Okay dokie! I'll have them in a jiffy!"

Zim and Gaz laughed to themselves as they saw Purple, wearing the same uniform as Red, running around in the background, gathering the stuff.

Red groaned. "I still don't understand how you can be so cheerful while doing this degrading job!"

Purple shrugged as he did his work. "Honestly, I think I've found my true calling. I'm surrounded by food all day and I get to serve it. I am also in charge of all the donuts!" He quickly pooped one on hs mouth. "Yeah, I don't know why we ever considered this to a suitable place for banishement. It's great here! HEY! I NEED MORE DONUTS!" he called to someone else.

Red groaned as Zim and Gaz exchanged a look and shrugged.

Purple then reached past Red and handed the two their boxes. "Here you go, my Lords!"

"Thank you," Zim said as he grabbed the boxes. He gave Red a pouting look. "Now why can't you be the obedient?"

Red growled before tossing Zim his bag. "Here. Don't forget your stupid scrap metal's tacos."

Zim pulled out one of his metal claws and pointed it at Red's face. "Watch what you say about our boy."

"Trash talking him is the sure fire way to get a ticket to doomsville," Gaz threatened. Over the years, the duo had not only accepted their roles as GIR's parents, but even embraced it. Before either of them had known what happened, they had actually started of thinking of the loving robot as their own offsrping. It took the two awhile to get used to the idea that they were no longer humoring the robot, but they figured if a human and an alien could fall in love, what was so strange about having a robot as a son-unit?

Red gulped as he eyed the claw pointed at him. He raised his one arm. "A-Alright, I get it! Have a good day!"

"Have a good day _what?_ " Zim growled, pointing the claw closer to Red's eye.

Red backed up and slowly bowed his head. "Have a good day...my L-Lords..."

Zim retracted his claw and smiled. "Thank you!" He then reached inside the taco bag, grabbed a packet of sauce, and squirted it all over the former Tallest's face. "Have a nice day!" he called as they drove away from the sputtering alien.

Gaz leaned back in her seat as she grabbed her Azzip.

"Not in the Voot, Gaz!" Zim deadpanned.

Gaz frowned, gave her Azzip a quick lick and then put it back in the box. "You keep acting like I'm going to break it or something."

"Laser incident."

"I'm never going to live that down." She scooted closer to Zim and smiled. "So I was thinking. Why don't we go on the mission ourselves? It's been awhile since we've invaded a planet."

Zim chuckled darkly. "You read my mind. We'll be leading those men personaally as we take the glorious couch."

Gaz scoffed. "Forget about them. I was think we go ourselves. Let's cause the explosion, take out the guards, sneak in, and grab the giant couch. We'll find a way to life it."

"Can I cause the explosion?" Zim asked.

"You caused it last time!" the girl protested.

Zim nodded. "Okay, how about this? We cause two explosions-one from me and one from you-quickly head back, and then grab that couch for our aching behinds!" He smiled gently. "And then we can head over to your mother's tomb and spend a little time with her. You can show her your latest battle plans."

Gaz smiled softly before resting her head on the male Irken's shoulder. "Sounds like a date."

Zim caressed her arched antenna a bit before zooming foreward to the home they shared. Their taco craving boy was waiting for them.


End file.
